by C. A. Harms
She removed herself from the car and began to reach for her bags in the backseat. “Let me get those for ya, ma’am.” Gavin placed his hand on her shoulder and motioned toward the car.
She stepped to the side, and he lifted the bags from the car and followed her toward the porch. He looked back over his shoulder and offered me a gentle smile. I watched from the driveway as he followed my mom and placed the bags just inside the door.
After the front door closed, he walked back toward me. Coming around the side of the car, he watched me for a reaction. With him so close, I could smell his cologne on the light breeze, and I closed my eyes tightly, taking it in.
I hadn’t expected him to take me in his arms, but when he did, I held onto him and buried my face in his chest. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer. It felt so nice to be held. The feelings he invoked in me were indescribable.
Gavin lifted me up and placed me onto the trunk of my car as he nestled in between my legs, still holding me close.
I concentrated on his scent, his breathing. I didn’t want to break. I couldn’t, because if I did, I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop it.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
“Thank you.”
I could feel his lips on my temple as I still held onto him. I didn’t want this to end. This right here, with Gavin holding me, was something I longed for so deeply.
“Not just for your loss, sweetheart, for everything. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I’ve pushed you away. I’m sorry for all of it.” His words were sincere.
I leaned back from him. I needed to see his eyes as he spoke. “I didn’t want to fall again. I’ve been there, and it didn’t end well. I didn’t want to be vulnerable and leave my fate in another woman’s hands.” Gavin skimmed my jaw with his fingertips and smiled.
“You hit me when I least expected it, and it scares the shit out of me. You’re a smartass and sarcastic. You test me and push me beyond control.” I narrowed my eyes at him and he chuckled. “But you also make me laugh, and you’re so damn sweet. Your kindness is genuine, and you make me weak in the knees. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again. I said no matter what I would never again fall. Then you had to climb up in my damn truck that night Rhett was sick. You made me forget for a moment what I had been there to do.”
Gavin’s thumb traced my lower lip and his eyes followed the motion. “I’m fighting with this damn divorce, and Nicole is being a bitch about the whole thing. You never let me finish telling you; the baby ain’t mine, she belongs to Alan.” He continued to stare at me with such intensity. “I wanted to wait it out, and when it was all final, come to you. But I don’t want to keep waiting. This thing could keep going on and on, and I don’t want to push you away any longer. I just want to see where this goes.”
He gripped my hips and slid me closer to him, until our mouths were only inches apart. “Can you give me another shot? Can I please have a chance to make things right? Can we just see what happens?” he asked.
I nodded my head gently, as he closed the distance between us and our lips meshed together. Gripping the back of his neck tightly, I held him close. With a sweep of his tongue against my lips, I whimpered, giving in to his request. Slow sensual kisses, sweet gentle touches, and needy whimpers were shared.
“Have dinner with me tonight? My place?” He asked, pulling back just enough to look in my eyes.
“Okay,” I agreed, before bringing my lips to his once more.
***
“I can’t believe someone would string another along the way she has—that’s just crazy. She knew that baby wasn’t Gavin’s, but she played it all out. Then she continued fighting the paternity test after the birth. She is a cruel bitch, isn’t she?” Kori looked horrified regarding everything I had told her.
After Gavin left, I rushed over to Kori’s place. I had to hear from her that I wasn’t crazy. Giving in to Gavin’s request for dinner could be just another mistake. I had spent so much time wanting him, and now that he had decided he wanted me, I was resistant. I didn’t want to believe that he would hurt me, but he is in fact the one person who could destroy me.
“Yeah, I can understand why he was so leery about attempting any other relationship. She really screwed with his heart in more than one way.” I said.
Just then Rhett came screeching into the room, followed by Diesel with Reed trailing close behind. They all looked as if they had been playing in the dirt for hours.
“Momma,” Rhett yelled as he dove for Kori’s legs. Diesel began barking as Reed gripped Rhett’s waist and began tickling. “No,” Rhett giggled and laughed uncontrollably.
“Boys.” Kori attempted a stern voice, but you could tell she was fighting her laughter. “Momma and Aunt Maria are sharing some girl talk. You three need to hightail it back outside. You are so filthy.”
Reed stood tall and closed in on her, pulling her close. “But babe, you said you like it when I’m dirty. In fact, just this morning you told me to slide my…” Kori placed her hand over his mouth.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Enough, or your chances of getting dirty with me will be slim to none.”
He grinned and placed his lips against hers for a gentle loving kiss. Pulling back, he whispered he loved her, just before picking Rhett up and throwing him over his shoulder. “Okay, tank, it’s time you show me where you hid my hammer.” Reed looked back, winking at Kori, and walked toward the door. He hollered back a quick hello to me before they exited the room.
I wanted that—a man and a child who held my heart. I wanted all of it, so badly it made my stomach ache. I felt like such an ass for being so jealous of Kori, but I was. I wanted the happiness she had found. Yes, there had been a long road of pain until she got there, but what she has now is so beautiful.
“So back to what we were talking about, dinner. Is he cooking or are you?” She asked, taking a seat at the bar across from me. She was cutting up chicken for their dinner, and the sight of it was making my stomach turn uncontrollably.
I shrugged. “Well, I assume he is. He didn’t tell me to bring anything.” I stood from the chair and braced myself against the counter as dizziness engulfed me, my stomach still tensing from the nauseated feeling. “Oh wow,” I grumbled.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kori asked with concern lacing her voice. “Sit back down,” she insisted.
“I’m fine. I think I just got up too fast. I haven’t slept much lately, and eating hasn’t really been my top priority, either. I just need to get some water,” I explained.
“You sit, I got it,” Kori ordered, and I sat back down at the bar, bracing my hands out in front of me. My head still lightly spinning, I closed my eyes tightly. I was doing everything possible to try to control the rolling of my stomach.
“Here, drink up.” Kori handed me a bottle of water. I took it from her and brought it to my lips.
I continued to keep my eyes closed as a sudden urge of nausea took over. It only continued to grow stronger with each passing second. My stomach knotted and my palms began to sweat.
All I once, I jumped from the bar stool and ran for the bathroom, making it just in time. I dry heaved until it hurt, then dry heaved some more. My eyes watered and my head ached.
I groaned as I sat back on the cold tile and rested my back against the wall.
Kori handed me a wet washcloth, and I took it gladly. Running it over my forehead and cheeks, I looked up at her. “Great, this is all I need. School’s over, your wedding is just around the corner, and I get the goddamn flu. Now I’ve brought the shit into your house, and you’ll all be sick too.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I swear I am nothing but a damn black cloud.” Tears ran over my cheeks and Kori knelt down in front of me. “Are you crazy, woman? I just turned into a walking puke bag and you’re getting closer. Do you seriously want this shit?”
Kori smiled and brushed my hair from my face. “What the hell are you smiling at, you fool? What could possibly be funny about
me expelling my stomach lining?” Kori’s laughter irritated me. “Listen, you little bitch, I am not amused.”
Kori only laughed harder with a snort to seal the deal. “Oh, darling. I am not laughing about the fact that you’re puking. I am, however, laughing about the fact that our kids are gonna grow up together.”
She was such a freak sometimes; what in the hell was she smoking? “What? You lost me, Kori.”
“You’re pregnant,” she stated, still smiling like a fool.
“Yeah, and you’ve lost your damn mind, woman,” I declared, pushing up off the floor and walking from the room. She was insane; that’s all there was to it. She was certifiably insane; pregnancy had overtaken her damn brain, and she had done lost it.
She skipped from the bathroom and trailed behind me. “If I’m so crazy, then when was your last period?”
I shook my head and turned around to glare at her. “I am not pregnant. You honestly need to stop already.”
She took on a serious expression and placed her hands on her hips. She was just beginning to sport the tiniest little baby bump, which was evident now that she had pulled her shirt tighter across her waist. “Maria, seriously, when was it?”
I threw my hands out to my sides and sighed. “Hell, I don’t know—before my dad. Maybe a few weeks before that.” I paused, as the passing of time ran through my mind. “I kinda lost track of time, with everything that has gone on.”
“You do realize that it has been well over a month, don’t you?” she asked.
All I could do was shake my head. I really didn’t know what to say. I know that I was with Gavin that night before he left, but we were safe. He always wore a condom. So yeah, I had let my shot more than expire, but we still had protection. I was floored with the possibility that I could be carrying Gavin’s child. It couldn’t be possible. I couldn’t be pregnant, could I?
***
The first text came through at around 4:30.
Is seven o’clock tonight too late? Got tied up with Bud. I’m just leaving.
My stomach was in knots. I sat on the edge of the tub, staring at the pregnancy test in my hand. Kori wanted to be with me when I took it, but I insisted I wanted to do it alone. My hands shook, as I once again lifted it up to observe the two pink lines on display.
I just needed a little time to let it all sink in. I picked up my phone and sent Gavin a return text.
Not feeling well at all. Gonna have to take a rain check.
Within minutes my phone began to ring, as his gorgeous face displayed across the screen. Tears filled my eyes.
Just when he decides to give us a shot, I now will be giving him yet another obstacle to face. I’m sure an unplanned pregnancy was the last thing he wanted right now.
“Hello,” I whispered.
“Hey, you,” he replied. “What’s wrong?”
I slid forward down the side of the tub, resting my back against the edge. “My stomach isn’t feeling well, and my head hurts too. I think I just need to get some sleep. Sorry to cancel on such short notice.”
“It’s okay. If you’re sick, you need to take care of you. We can have dinner another night. Do you need anything?” I squeezed my eyes together tightly, suppressing the impending tears. Yes, I needed him. I wanted him to love me. I wanted so badly for him to want me completely, without something forcing him. I feared that, with a baby, he would feel he had no other choice but to be with me. I didn’t want to spend my life wondering if the man I loved returned those feelings for the right reasons.
“No, I’m good. I’m just gonna take a shower and go to bed,” I told him.
“If you need anything, will you call me?” I nodded my head, as if he could see me responding. “Hey, did you hear me?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “I heard you, and I will, thanks.”
“Take care of yourself. We’ll talk tomorrow,” Gavin said. “If you’re feeling better, we’ll make plans to do something. If not, then maybe I can come over and take care of you.”
“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow sometime. I’ve got a lot to do with Kori’s wedding too,” I replied.
“We’ll work it out,” he insisted.
Chapter Seven
Rescheduling our dinner never actually happened. I continued to stay busy with planning the wedding. Gavin was persistent with his efforts. Every time we were at Kori’s parents’, he managed to corner me and question my avoidance of being alone with him.
I wouldn’t deny the fact, but the truth was that I was trying to keep my distance. I was completely terrified. I had no idea how I was going to tell him. I feared his reaction. I knew I didn’t have it in me to accept any more rejection.
So there I sat, on the day of Kori’s wedding, and I knew I could no longer avoid him. He’d be in attendance. I would have to face him, and I knew I would have to tell him. It’s time he knew.
All the girls got ready inside Kori’s parents’ house. The guys took over the smaller, one bedroom home that used to be Gavin’s. They didn’t require as much room as we did. Ya know, being girls and all, we required a lot more preparation.
Kori looked absolutely beautiful. She was glowing, and her happiness could be felt by everyone. I watched as her momma awed over her, and she was pampered by everyone around her.
Once her dress was slipped over her head, I don’t think there was a dry eye left in the room. It was breathtaking, and Reed was going to fall at her feet.
Her eyes met mine and she choked back a sob. “No way, don’t you dare cry. You’ll mess up your makeup and Leann will kill us.”
Leann had spent close to two hours fixing up her hair and makeup. She was a masterpiece, and if we smudged it one bit, we would surely be beaten. “You look beautiful, Kor. Reed’s gonna melt at the sight of you.”
“Thank you, you look pretty stunning yourself,” she whispered as she looked me over.
I wore a long, fitted silk, spaghetti-strapped dress. It hugged low in the back. Every curve was enhanced by its fit, and it made me feel sexy. It was a light shade of pink, and we all chose to wear silver accessories. Kori’s dress had a sash with the same shade of pink hugging her mid-section.
“Have you talked to him yet?” she asked. I could only shake my head in response. “You need to tell him.”
“I know and I will. I just need to figure out how. Not today, though. Today is about you. No drama. I’m not sure what his reaction will be, and I don’t think your wedding is the place I need to test out Gavin’s response.” I held her hands in mine. I don’t know if it was the hormones or the fact that I loved her so much, but I had something to say.
“You know he’s looking down at you, thinking how beautiful you look. He’s happy that you found your way to Reed. That man adores you, and Blake knows that you and his boy are going to have an amazing life.” She closed her eyes tightly and nodded her head. “Blake was the one who showed you an unbelievable love; he gave you a precious gift, and you’ll always hold him dear to your heart. But if I had to guess, I would say that he approves. If he couldn’t be here with you, I’m sure Reed is the man he would have chosen for you, had he had the chance to choose.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“I love you.” I hugged her, and she replied saying, “I love you too.” “Now let’s go get you hitched.” She laughed and wiped her tears away.
“Oh my god, is she crying? No. No crying, not yet. She is gonna ruin her face.” Leann gasped as she spun Kori around, inspecting her closely.
“Oh, stuff a sock in it, Lee. She ain’t gonna last a minute once she sees Reed.” Kori bit her lip and stared back at Leann. A silent moment passed before all three of us burst out into a fit of laughter. Leann was such a little drama queen, but damn if she wasn’t funny to get all wound up.
***
Once the music started, one by one we walked down the aisle. Reed looked so handsome, and just before taking my place on the side of the altar, I winked at him. He smiled in return and immediately looked once
again to the aisle, awaiting Kori’s entrance.
I began scanning the guests, and the moment my eyes connected with Gavin’s, my stomach fluttered. He was without a doubt the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on. He had the sweetest smile, and my insides turned to a pile of warm mush at the sight of him.
He mouthed the word beautiful, and my heart raced. I returned a thank you just before the music changed.
Kori appeared at the end of the aisle, and all eyes turned to her except Gavin’s. He continued to watch me, and I swore I could feel his gaze.
Throughout the entire ceremony, each time my eyes shifted to Gavin, he would smile and wink. He never took his eyes from me, and it made me feel beautiful.
When the kiss was shared, I was a blubbering mess. My emotions were on high alert, and I tried to contain them. But it was impossible the moment Reed turned around and faced the guests, holding his hands out toward the front row. Gemma placed Rhett down onto the ground, and he rushed toward Reed. Once he held him in his arms, he hugged both Kori and Rhett closely. It was one of the most breathtaking moments I had ever witnessed.
One by one, we followed the new Mr. and Mrs. Jackson as they walked down the aisle hand in hand.
It was helpful that the wedding and reception were both held on Kori’s parents’ property. Everyone we passed expressed their form of congratulations, while staring at the couple in awe. Once again that sense of jealousy set in, as I longed for the happy ending Kori now had.
Standing off to the side, I watched while Reed took Kori’s hand in his and led her to the makeshift dance floor. They swayed together, staring into one another’s eyes. Mine, of course, were only filled with tears of happiness. The two of them were perfect for one another.
I felt his hand on my hip just before he leaned in and whispered against my ear. “You look gorgeous.”
Chills washed over me, and the heat his touch caused within me rushed up the back of my neck. Gavin brought his body closer to mine from behind and wrapped his hands around my waist. Lacing his fingers together, he rested them over my lower abdomen and I squeezed my eyes tightly. He had no idea what rested just beneath his hands. The entire moment was overwhelming.
