The Glass Mask

by E L DuBois

  Not too long after turning the twenty-six, she met a person online who lived nine hours away, was five years younger, and again, not her ideal man. He was simply an escape from her life. In a bold move, she uprooted herself; left her husband, disappointed her family, and walked away from it all.

  The house, the husband, the job, the life.

  The niggling voice at the back of her mind congratulated her for ruining what she felt she had never deserved. However, selfish as she was, she had strung her husband along until she could no longer. Maybe, deep inside, she held out a small hope that she could still get it all back. Maybe, she strung him along out of fear, or simply because she was a coward who could not bring herself to end it.

  Either way, she treated the man who loved her like a puppet with strings, to be pulled in the direction she wanted him to go, all the while living with and having a relationship with another man. This lasted for a year and a half.

  Having a boyfriend and a husband was hard work, especially when she began to realize that the relationship with the boyfriend was a nightmare. He was immature, selfish and basically a child looking for someone to take care of him. Karma was rearing its ugly head, and she had now taken on the role her husband had with her. She was the caretaker, bearing the financial burden, emotional stress, and responsibility for a selfish person that was never pleased.

  Toward the end of the relationship, the unthinkable happened. A routine pap smear showed that she had “abnormal cells.” A biopsy showed she had stage two cervical cancer. When she asked the doctor who gave her the news, the doctor responded with, “I’ll pray for you.” She was devastated. The boyfriend acted as if he didn’t care. That was the final nail in the coffin of that relationship.

  When she told her husband, he responded with, “I want a divorce.”

  Feeling alone, not knowing if she would live another six months, she finally felt she had gotten what she deserved. Karma, the nasty bitch, was rearing her ugly head. Pretty little princess had no idea there were fates worse than the dreaded C-word.

  After two hopeless weeks waiting to see an Oncologist, she was finally given hope. The Oncologist said she would do everything to ensure that she survived. It was like she had been granted a second chance to be a better person. So, she went through the cancer surgery, followed the doctors’ orders, and during this trying time, along came the boy named after a famous outlaw. He would give her the greatest gift and joy of her life but take everything else from her.

  Chapter One

  Lust, diligence, patience, kindness, humility

  AT TWENTY-SEVEN years old, and at a very vulnerable time in her life, she met a boy. Not a man, but a boy eight years her junior and a master manipulator. He had an enigmatic smile, blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and at first, said all the things she wanted to hear. He still was not the ideal man she had dreamed of, but he was young, wild, and was only supposed to be a fling.

  There was something about his possessive nature that she had tried to understand and was undeniably drawn to. She had never been around someone who wanted to possess her completely, and it stoked her ego. At first, it had been enticing, a little dangerous, and fun. She was enjoying the freedom; going out and having the good times she had missed out on since she had married and settled down so young. The boy had been fond of telling her she was beautiful, smart, funny, and too good for him. All the things she needed to hear to quail the niggling voice at the back of her mind. She became caught up in the whirlwind of lust and romance. She had never met anyone like him.

  The intensity of his affections was intoxicating. Within a week, he had told her he loved her, and she had said it back. He had been there for her through the cancer scare, even attending her final doctor’s visit. He called and texted constantly. The attention was flattering and overwhelming, and she reveled in it. He acted as if he could not live without her. She was like a life blood to him. Everything he had ever wanted or needed; the very breath in his lungs. So, of course, they could not be apart.

  She fell deeper under the spell of their passionate summer romance.

  When he suggested they move in together after a month, she hesitated but finally agreed. There was just something about him that she could not put her finger on. All she knew was that he was impossible to say no to. She should have seen the signs; but she was oblivious. She thought his jealous tendencies were flattering. No man had ever been so attentive and interested in her every action. He had made her believe she was his world and he revolved around her. He made her trust him like she had never trusted before, so she opened up to him about her insecurities, hopes, dreams, and most intimate thoughts. He even managed to make her believe she had broken her rule about loving someone more. She thought, “What else could this be but true love? I have never felt like this before.”

  Two months into the relationship and she was so enthralled with the intense handsome boy that she missed the subtle changes. She missed the programming. She missed the total loss of herself. She was no longer her own. She was his.

  When the backhanded compliments, meant to eat away at her insecurities and not genuine compliments started, she didn’t understand that he was mentally breaking her down. He would say things like, “You are so beautiful,” and in the next breath, “You know you are the biggest girl I have ever been with.” She wasn’t big, but suddenly she was on a diet because she felt huge. He would comment on her age and she developed a new insecurity. Every kindness he gave was followed by a cutting sentiment. He hated that she made more money than him, but had no problems spending it. He would talk about the future and how one day she would not have to work, and he would support them and their children. She had never thought of a life where she didn’t work or had kids, but somehow, he made the idea of being a stay at home mommy seem like her dream all along.

  By month three, when he had an angry outburst at a family function, she had been sympathetic to his situation. After all, he was the victim of the fight. Someone else had started it and pushed the wrong buttons. It was completely unprovoked, and her poor baby had not deserved to be treated that way. She missed how he methodically consumed every part of her time, until she was cut off from everyone she truly loved. She was from a very close, small family. They were her constant, and her home. Her Mother, the strong and beautiful Queen, was the kind of woman she wanted to be, and her best friend. Her Father, the King, was her protector and the smartest man she knew. She was Daddy’s little Princess and she knew he would always be there to save her. Her little brother was her perfect little Prince. They were 10 years apart in age, so he held a special place in her heart. She felt a sister’s love, a motherly love, and a special bond with him that was a mixture of kindred spirit and partner-in-crime. They were her Camelot.

  Until one day, she looked up and was surprised that they were all out of reach.

  The remnants of her home were just hazy images on the horizon. Still there but separated by an indissoluble distance. She had allowed him to cause that wedge, without even realizing he was orchestrating her isolation... until it was too late.

  By month five, she was growing weary. The summer was coming to an end and the intensity was overwhelming her. She was contemplating ending the relationship when the unimaginable happened. It was a miracle, but never in a million years did she believe it would happen to her. She found out she was pregnant. More accurately, she took a pregnancy test at home, as a precaution. Being only months away from the cancer scare and on regular birth control, she was not worried. She thought that with everything that had happened─ the cancer, dieting, the stress ─ her body was simply telling her to slow down. Then, the test showed two pink lines.

  Wait... what? Was all she could process. She kept telling herself, “There must me some mistake. It must have been a faulty tester.” Naturally, as any sane Princess in her situation would do, she took five more at-home tests. When they all showed positive results, she called the Queen and freaked out. She insisted that her mother come to her house rig
ht away... that all the testers were broken. The Queen calmly told her daughter to get a blood test, and she did. It was positive as well. She was approximately six weeks pregnant and in shock.

  The Queen, being the true Southern woman that she was, gave her daughter two very important sentiments of wisdom that day. She said, “If you have a baby, you can’t be the baby anymore.” Then, the gravity of the situation, the pregnancy, her daughter’s shock, the fact that she was too young and beautiful to be a Grandma must have set in because she grabbed the Princess and vigorously shook her. “He’s 19! 19! You mess around with nineteen-year-olds! You have fun with nineteen-year-olds! You don’t get knocked up by one!”

  This seemed to bring the Princess out of her stupor.

  “The dog ate my birth control. I called the doctor and she said that I was close to my cycle, and to just wait and start my next month’s pills after. Then, I called the vet who said the dog would be fine... and he was. He just laid around depressed for a few days, eating everything you put in front of him. I was so worried about the dog I forgot all about my cycle.”

  This earned the Princess an “I raised you better” look from the Queen.

  September 26th, that was the date. It would prove to be one of the best and worst days of her life. The date would be engrained in her memory as one with fleeting hours of joy, followed by the most horrendous cruelty and pain. It was the first time she’d see that her boy was not a boy at all. The boy was the mask of an illusion. What lurked beneath was a Monster far worse than any nightmare. Beauty’s frightening Beast was about to emerge.

  Chapter Two

  A Slip

  SHE WAS SO confused by the idea of a growing baby. But when the time came to tell the boy about the pregnancy, he was smiling and happy, and she was very surprised. After all, he was only nineteen and had his whole life ahead of him.

  When she handed him the paperwork the lab had given her confirming the pregnancy, she told him, “I am a grown woman with my own income. I can do this on my own and will expect nothing from you. You can walk away now and never look back.”

  He said, “You did this the right way.”

  She thought that was an odd response and asked, “Right way?”

  “Yes, the right way. You confirmed it with the doctor first before telling me. You didn’t just pee on a stick and get my hopes up.”

  She found his behavior odd. Hopes up? They had only been in a relationship a few months and he was already hoping for a child? Was he not even going to acknowledge that she had given him a way out?

  The boy wanted to celebrate, and like all other things he wanted, he got his way. Beauty’s little brother was having a party to celebrate his upcoming birthday, so even though she was tired, she got dressed and they went out.

  At the party, the boy had too much to drink and began acting very aggressively toward her brother and his friends. She thought, “It must be the alcohol,” and she tried repeatedly to get the boy to come with her and leave. At one point, even gently taking him by the arm and whispering her pleas into his ear. He jerked away and sneered at her. He had never acted in such a way to her before and she was baffled. Maybe he wasn’t as ok with the pregnancy as he made her think. Maybe he was freaking out and the alcohol was enabling him to show his true feelings.

  As the night progressed, a fight broke out between the boy and her brother. Being the peacekeeper she was, Beauty tried to get the boy into the car and away from the altercation. The boy was enraged; she had never seen anger like that before. He was screaming at her to let him drive. She tried to stay calm, and gently told him that he was in no shape to drive.

  She was finally able to get him into the passenger seat and away from the party. As she drove, she could sense that he was still extremely upset. The rage rolled off him in waves, she could almost touch it. The tension filled the car like a palpable entity. She had only made it about a mile down the road, far enough not to be heard or seen by the party goers, when the boy exploded. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he insisted that he wanted to drive.

  Shocked and frightened, Beauty still tried to reason with him.

  “You can’t drive. You’ve had too much to drink. If our safety isn’t important, just think about the babies.”

  This seemed to placate the boy for the moment. Beauty relaxed as he went silent and she thought all was well. Especially when the boy reached over and lovingly placed his hand in her hair, at the base of her neck. She glanced at the boy to smile, but the smile died on her lips when she saw the answering smile of the thing sitting across from her. Gone was her handsome, sweet boy. In his place was a horrific monster and her blood ran cold. There was such evil in his smile.

  Before she could react, the monster gripped her hair and jerked the keys from the ignition with the other. He then proceeded to slam Beauty’s face on the stirring wheel several times. The world became hazy as her vision blurred. She could hear a distinct ringing, so loud that she didn’t register any of the monster’s movements until he opened the driver’s door, and wrapped her long, raven hair around his fist.

  Their faces were so close, she could smell the alcohol in his breath. Combined with the sickly, metallic taste in her mouth, her stomach turned in disgust.

  His words, whispered low and menacing into her ear, were like ice water running through her veins. “I told you I was going to drive, bitch! As for the baby, it makes you mine for good.”

  Moving across the car seat, the monster then dragged her from the car by her hair and threw her into the passenger seat. The shock had begun to wear off, and the pain started setting in. Beauty began to cry and react. She didn’t scream for help. She made no pleas for him to stop. She knew doing so would be futile. The look in his eyes and the tone in his voice told her all she needed to know. Her fate was sealed.

  She had not been a child who believed monsters like him existed, but it only took a glimpse at his face and she knew the boogeyman was real.

  And she had just tied herself to him for life.

  Beauty didn’t remember the car ride home or how long it had taken. She didn’t register the pain in her head or heart. She only felt a strange numbness as he took her from the car and pulled her into their home. Nothing registered even when he threw her to the ground. She didn’t feel him jerking her pants down and ripping her underwear. She didn’t even notice the intrusion into her body as he took her violently. The brutality of his actions or her own blood staining the white carpet were not enough to shock her out of stupor. She registered nothing even when his hands wrapped around her throat. Those hands... the ones she thought would only touch her lovingly. They were squeezing her neck... until her vision began to blur. Still, Beauty didn’t acknowledge the danger to her life.

  None of this is happening. Any moment now, and I’ll wake up.

  That was Beauty’s last thought before everything went black.

  Chapter 3

  THE PAIN AND the smell of mildew woke her up, but she refused to open her eyes. Her head hurt so bad and she could taste the blood in her mouth. Did I bite my tongue? She felt like she had the flu. Did I get drunk last night? No, that was impossible. She couldn’t have. She was pregnant, and she wouldn’t have done anything that could harm the baby. Beauty struggled to recall, but for the life of her, she could not remember why everything hurt.

  She lay there breathing and aching for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes. Her brain tried to process the horrible nightmare she had, and why she was in pain. As the events of the previous day arranged itself from being a jumbled mess of hazy images into clearer memories, Beauty’s eyes shot open and she tried to sit up.

  Naked, she was on the floor of her living room. A blanket had been haphazardly draped over her bruised body. The room was dark, except for small, shimmering rays of sunlight seeping through the blinds. She tried to take stock of her injuries and noticed the purple and yellow marks scattered around her body like a brand. There was a lot of blood. Her blood.

 
; She gasped, her thoughts reeling. “Oh God, the baby!”

  It was then she heard a small noise, like someone clearing his throat. Slowly, she lifted her gaze from the floor and her body, until they settled on the ice blue eyes staring down at her. He was sitting calmly on the couch, dressed for work and looking so strange. His face was hidden in shadows, like a villain from some horror thriller. Only his eyes were visible from the stray ray of sunshine that cast itself perfectly across his face.

  Instinctively, she scooted back against the wall and wrapped the blanket tighter around her body. Her protective instincts kicked in, although she still could not piece together what happened exactly. She sensed that she was in terrible danger.

  They sat in silence, staring at each other until he slowly went down on his knees and crawled toward her.

  Still in the shadows, he stopped an arm’s length from her and slightly bowed his head. His strange behavior reminded her of a dog cowering. When he looked up at her and the light illuminated his face, she expected to see the horrific monster. Instead, she saw her boy, looking remorseful and sad. She could see the sadness almost consuming him, but she didn’t know what to say or do.

  His words were a mere whisper in the silence. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Nothing like that has ever happened before, and it will never happen again. Please... forgive me. Please... don’t leave me. I love you and our baby. We’re going to be a family. If you don’t forgive me and stay, I will kill myself. I can’t live without you.” Tears began to roll down his cheeks and she just sat there stunned, saying nothing and just staring. Unable to make sense of it all.