The Glass Mask

by E L DuBois

  Beauty did not know how long she stayed outside before the Beast joined her. She was sitting in a lawn chair, head in hands, when she felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders. Her whole body tensed. She could feel the anxiety bubbling back up inside her. The Beast started to rub slow circles on her back. Another new sensation from a monster who had tortured her for years. She did not even know she was crying until he began to soothe her.

  “Shhhh, Baby, Shhhh, it’s going to be ok. I promise. I am different now. I will never hurt you again.”

  Beauty wanted to scream. Where was her choice? No one asked her if she wanted a changed Beast. She just wanted to live a life without fear. She would never have that life with the Beast. He could be a perfect gentleman until the day she died, and she would always be waiting for him to turn back into the Beast who had tortured her.

  Sitting in the dark in a second-hand lawn chair she had bought for her new Beast-free-life, the renewed light inside Beauty began to fade again. He was never going to leave her alone. Beauty did not know what hurt worse; the physical pain he had inflicted or the feeling of having her freedom snatched from her like it had never been hers at all.

  Beauty lived in a prison with no bars. Her Warden, a monster she would never escape.

  Chapter 26

  I’m going to write myself into a fairy-tale.

  I desperately need a happy ending.

  THE BEAST KEPT his promises. He was not a completely different person, but he was not violent or brutal. He tried to be gentle and kind. He tried to be a good husband and father. He even got a job and kept it. Beauty was miserable, but she hid her true feelings from everyone. She was always waiting for the Beast to snap and show his true face.

  The Beast wanted a tattoo for his birthday, so he got one… of Beauty, pin-up style. It covered half his back and had her name at the top in big script. The Beast was so proud of the tattoo. Beauty had to smile and pretend it did not make her want to cringe every time she saw it. Hell, the tattoo was not even good. It looked nothing like Beauty and was a waste of money. But she pretended to love it and that she was honored by it.

  She was not.

  Beauty got so good at playing pretend it became second nature all over again. Now, instead of pretending she was not being hurt or frightened, she was pretending not to be on the verge of a constant panic attack and unhappy.

  The Beast had always been a black cloud looming over Beauty, blocking out the sunshine. With his return, he became a black cloud of bad luck. Within weeks of his return, Beauty lost her job because the company suddenly closed. This left them with no money. The Beast did not make much money at his job, so they lost the cottage. The Queen allowed them to move into her cottage and helped them financially. Beauty had to get government assistance and help from charities, just to have food for them to eat. Before, events like this would have sent the Beast spiraling into a binge of drugs, rape, and violence, but instead he was being level headed and working steady. Normally, Beauty was the one trying to hold everything together, but the Beast was making efforts to contribute. That was a first, but still, Beauty couldn’t find it in herself to trust him.

  To add to the string of bad luck, Beauty had a routine Pap Smear and it came back with abnormal cells. She had to see an Oncologist but had no insurance. She kept this news from the Beast. Part of her feared he would view her as wounded prey and pounce. Beauty needed a job and insurance as soon as possible. She applied for several jobs and was hired by a government outfit. The pay was not great, but the insurance was good. By the time the insurance was active, Beauty had to tell the Beast about the abnormal cells they found. His reaction floored her.

  He cried. Not fake crying with fake emotions. The Beast broke down and cried real tears. He just kept repeating, “I can’t lose you. I can’t live without you. I love you.”

  Beauty did not know what to say to him and awkwardly patted his shoulder.

  “It will be ok. I will be ok.”

  When Beauty was finally able to see the Oncologist, three months had passed. The Beast went with her to the appointment and held her hand during the biopsy. The doctor decided to remove three small sections of her cervix and did the procedure right there in the office. It was painful, but Beauty told herself she had been through way worse.

  They waited two weeks for the results. Everything came back benign and a tension Beauty had not realized she had, left her. She had not allowed herself to worry about the cancer. She could not. It amazed Beauty how easily she could accept the possibility of the Beast taking her life... but to Cancer? No, she could not bring herself to consider that.

  Beauty had been working for the government for about six months when she got an opportunity for promotion and a transfer closer to her family. The Beast seemed excited and supportive of the move.

  Life between them had changed, and yet stayed the same in so many ways. The violence was gone. The rape was gone. But the Beast still had problems. He was an addict. Sex addict, drama addict, attention addict, drug addict, Beauty addict. His obsession with her had become stifling. The Beast wanted to talk to her, text her, be with her twenty-four seven. It was like he had given up the violence to become even more needy.

  The time the Beast had spent in jail did change him. He did not have any fight in him anymore, but he still had that need to possess Beauty. He struggled with smoking pot and would find people to get it from. It was a financial strain, and Beauty worried that if he was around any kind of drug, he would go back to the hard stuff. That was the problem with an extreme addict like him. They always took the addictions to the extreme. He was a walking addiction and instability. Beauty hoped if she was closer to home, the King would help the Beast get a better job and they would be more financially stable.

  Beauty only had three days to find a place to live and start her new job two hundred miles away. They loaded up a moving truck and Beauty said goodbye to the cottages. The Beast was driving the moving truck and Beauty drove her Jeep. The Beast stayed right behind Beauty the entire trip. It was the middle of the night and they were looking at a four-hour drive. The Princess lay sleeping in her car seat in the back with her mother.

  Beauty was headed to her parents’ home and the closer she got, the more the memories flooded her. Her parents’ home used to be Beauty’s home. It was her house of horrors. The King and Queen had bought the home Beauty and the Beast had lived in when the Princess was born Her parents had no idea of the violence and rape that had taken place there. They had no idea of the pain their daughter had suffered in every room of their house. Her parents slept in the room where Beauty had been raped so violently that her blood soaked through the sheets and stained the mattress. The sink where her father brushed his teeth and washed his hands, the Beast had broken two of Beauty’s ribs when he picked her up by the throat and slammed her against the faucet. Their kitchen floor was the one Beauty had fallen onto and cried on as her heart broke. There was not a single space in their home where Beauty could not recall an act of violence or emotional pain... and her parents had no idea. That had been Beauty’s life, and now they were headed back to the scene of the crimes.

  She wondered if returning to the house of horrors would spark something in the Beast. Would he crave that violence again? Did he crave it now and she just did not see it? Beauty did not know. The Beast was still as much a mystery now as he had been the night he had showed her his true face.

  Chapter 27

  There’s no place like home…

  IT WAS EARLY in the morning when they arrived at Beauty’s parents’ house. Dawn had not yet broken, and all of the large oak trees were casting eerie shadows across the house which held so many bad memories for Beauty. She wondered if the Beast would see it as she did, like a beacon of agony on a dead-end street. Or would he see it as his house of treasures? The place where he had enjoyed committing so many depraved acts against Beauty. Would the Beast feel remorse or longing for those days?

  Beauty felt a bone deep weariness seep in
to her bones as she got out of her Jeep. She had endeavored for the past few years to spend as little time as possible in the house. Now, she would be spending the night. Several nights, in fact, until they could find a home. With a heavy heart, she got the still sleeping Princess out of her seat and headed inside. She looked back at the Beast and saw a huge grin on his face. Nope, she thought. This place does not hold the same meaning for him as it did for her. He was rubbing his hands together and looked gleeful. Her voice held a tinge of suspicion.

  “What are you so happy about”?

  The Beast did not even try to wipe the smile from his face.

  “Nothing. I’m just glad we’re here. I’m excited.”

  She thought about asking him what he had to be excited about but decided she did not want to know. She never knew what was going on in his brain and was not sure she ever wanted to.

  Beauty imagined that if someone cut open the Beast’s skull and peered inside, it would be a spiraling pool of darkness tinged with blood, hate, and all the misery the world had to offer. She shook her head to clear the image. She must be delirious from lack of sleep.

  With a soft knock and a smile from her mother, Beauty stepped inside the house of horrors. The Beast was right behind her, animatedly chattering away to the Queen. Beauty just wanted to lay the baby down and get some sleep herself. Maybe if she shut her eyes to her surroundings, she would forget where she was.

  As she laid down beside the Beast that night and he wrapped an arm around her body, she felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. The Beast’s whisper was a low rumble in her ear.

  “We’re home, Baby.”

  Her body tensed, and he clutched her closer.

  “It’s ok. Relax.”

  Beauty lay like that until she could no longer hold her eyelids open. The Beast’s slow and steady breaths a rhythm in her ears. If she had not been so exhausted, sleep would have eluded her, but it didn’t. She drifted off into a nightmare fueled darkness. All the shame of her past haunting her dreams and tormenting her.

  The next morning, Beauty woke up from a nightmare, crying. A groggy Beast tried to soothe her.

  “It’s ok. It’s ok. Shhhh, calm down. It’s just a nightmare.”

  It had felt so real to Beauty. It was the first time Beauty had a nightmare that felt so real. She had been trapped in a violent rape and the Beast’s presence. His touch only made it worse and she recoiled from his attempts to soothe her. The house and the monster were too much for Beauty to handle.

  She slipped from the bed and the Beast’s grasp as quickly as she could. Beauty could not stay in this house. She left a baffled looking Beast in the bed and headed to take a shower. Even the guest bathroom held bad memories for her.

  She showered and dressed as fast as she could. Beauty was on a mission. Even though it was the weekend, she needed to find another place to live.

  At breakfast, everyone was laughing and talking. The Beast looked right at home in the dining room where he had once beaten Beauty so badly she had not been able to stand without serious back pain for at least a week. As Beauty sat down at the table and looked for some place to focus on that did not carry a bad memory, something the Queen was saying caught her attention.

  “The house right behind ours is vacant. It has been vacant for a while now. Something weird happened with the people. The wife ran off and they abandoned the kids. The state came in and took them all... it was very sad. But it’s vacant and I think it’s for sale. It needs a lot of work, but wouldn’t that be wonderful if y’all lived right behind us? We could have family dinners and spend time together.”

  Beauty vaguely recalled the house. It was a large two-story structure with a big yard. That was about the extent of what she knew about it. Not even bothering to touch the food on her plate, Beauty shot up out of her seat like her ass was on fire.

  “I’ll go look at it right now and see if it has a sign in the yard.”

  Beauty did not even wait for anyone to respond. She headed out the front door and around the side of the house. Both houses had a side facing a large open field. The cooling fall morning made Beauty wish she had brought a jacket as she walked through the field toward the house. The outside looked ok. It was older and needed some work, but anything was better than staying in the house of horrors. As Beauty approached the looming structure, she got a bad feeling but chalked that up to the proximity of the horror house. She did not see a sign in the yard, but the house looked vacant. It almost looked abandoned.

  There was a detached garage and Beauty peered through one of the dusty windows. She saw a “for sale” sign leaning up against the wall of the garage. If she squinted, she could make out the phone number. It was an out of state number, but she dialed it. Beauty did not expect anyone to answer on a weekend and was surprised when a nice man did. She explained her situation, and the gentleman seemed pleasant enough and told Beauty where the key was located. He said she could look inside before she made any decisions. He explained that he lived out of state and the home had been an investment. He had never actually seen the inside of the house, but his friend, who had found it for him, said it needed a lot of work.

  Beauty thanked the man and found the key. She made quick work unlocking the side door to the house. The man had not been kidding. Inside, it was a disaster. The wood flooring was half missing in the living room and there were holes in the walls. The carpet was very outdated, and the place was musky. But all in all, it had good bone structure.

  The kitchen was updated, and the staircase curved, which Beauty liked. There was a big back porch and a large yard for the Princess to play in. Even though Beauty liked the house, she could not shake the bad vibes she felt from it. She was just locking up when the Beast appeared.

  “I see you found a key.”

  “Yes, and I spoke with the owner. He wanted me to look inside and call him back.”

  The Beast motioned for Beauty to unlock the door.

  “Let me have a look.”

  Beauty quietly stood back as the Beast went through every room in the home. He checked out the yard, garage, and even discovered a small apartment off the garage, that Beauty had not noticed. When he was done, and Beauty was locking the door, she turned to him expectantly.

  “Well?”

  A huge grin spread across the Beast’s face.

  “I love it! Call the man back and tell him we will take it!”

  Beauty eyed the Beast.

  “You did not get any bad feelings from it?”

  The Beast chuckled and wrapped an arm around Beauty’s waist as he scoffed.

  “No, Baby. Damn, you are so superstitious. I love it. Let’s take it!”

  Against her better judgement, Beauty did as she was told and called the man back. He emailed her the paperwork and said they could move in right away. So that is what they did.

  Beauty and the Beast spent that evening moving into their new home. That night, the Princess stayed with the Queen, and Beauty tired herself out unpacking boxes by candlelight. She had one day before she started her new job.

  In the eerie old house surrounded by boxes, Beauty watched the shadows of the candlelight dance against the wall. That feeling of dread had never left. Something bad had happened in this house. Beauty could feel it. She was so enthralled in her thoughts she did not hear the Beast, until he wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered in her ear.

  “We’re all alone. Let’s christen our new home.” Beauty’s insides clinched with fear and she cringed.

  “Sure, Honey, let me just finish this box up and I will see you in bed.”

  The Beast flung the box away and smiled down at her in such a way that the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

  “Finish it tomorrow. I want my Beauty now.”

  Chapter 28

  Make a fairy-tale and go live in it...

  BEAUTY WAS NERVOUS on her first day at her new job. Everyone seemed nice but whenever her boss was not around, the others gave her pitying glances.
Beauty did not understand why everyone acted like working for Maleficent was such a hardship. She liked the woman’s hard-nosed approach. Hew new boss was efficient and expected the same of her employees. Beauty could respect that. It was work, not a place to be paid to socialize.

  Beauty was to be Maleficent’s assistant and help her keep the unit running as smoothly as possible. Her office was directly across the hall, so the woman could holler if she wanted anything. Other people scoffed at this, but Beauty had worked with and for far more demanding people.

  She shared the office with two women she instantly liked. Both were beautiful and fierce in their own ways. Nala was statuesque and quiet, with a beautiful smile. She was the grapevine for all the happenings in the office, because everyone knew she was trustworthy and kind hearted. Tiana was tiny like Beauty but fierce like a mama lion. She had the best laugh and took no shit from anyone. Tiana made Beauty laugh every day and both women reminded Beauty what it had been like to have friends. It had been so long since Beauty had any friends. She could never have them as friends outside of work, because she was not allowed friends, but these women made Beauty look forward to each day.

  They did not know it, but their kindness and laughter made Beauty’s life a little easier. When she was around them, the constant anxiety over the Beast and her other troubles would melt away.

  Beauty was happy at work. She could be a little more of herself. She liked everything and everyone in the office. Well, not everyone. She did not like the strange, orange-haired witch who had transferred right before Beauty. She was older than Beauty and there was something a little off about her. She immediately sensed the same manic personality as the Beast, and the same fake charm as well.