Beautiful Liar (The Masquerade Series)

by Maynard, Glenna

  It feels so nice to be out with just the three of us, Aiden, Marla, and me. We haven’t gotten to spend hardly any time together lately even though my schedule isn’t as hectic. Our reservations are at a pretty ritzy place, I just hope Aiden behaves himself. He is a pretty good kid, but he is only two. He looks so adorable in his kaki trousers and blue dress shirt. His hair is a mess of curls, but I still can’t bring myself to cut them.

  Marla on the other hand looks like a ghost of her former self. Aiden and I get our wavy hair from her. Her once lustrous locks are dull and dry. Her eyes don’t have any shine to them at all. She used to have curves in all the right places. We used to almost look like sisters instead of mother and daughter. It makes me so sad to see how the cancer has changed her.

  “So I notice you are spending a lot of your time with Turner.”

  “Oh no you don’t! This evening is about celebrating your birthday.”

  Dinner is a disaster. Aiden is cranky from the heat and Marla has no appetite. I end up getting our dinner to go. Trying not to let Aiden’s tantrums get to me, I take him home and get him his bath. I have never talked to him about his dad and I guess there is no time like the present to introduce the idea to him. He may not understand much of it now, but I know it is something I should have talked to him about from the start. After digging around in my closet, I find the perfect way to tell Aiden about his father, but the perfect way to show him too. I have been keeping a scrap-book of Brody and all of his greatest moments playing baseball. I started working on it all the way back in middle school.

  Settling on a glider on the front porch, I pull Aiden into my lap and open the book. “Mommy wants to talk to you about someone important, so listen closely okay?” He places his tiny fingers on the first page.

  “Dat ball,” he says.

  “Yes, ball very good. Do you see the boy in the picture, Aiden? He is your dad. Do you know what a daddy is?”

  “Aiden play ball.”

  “Yeah, Aiden plays ball, like his daddy.”

  I continue showing him the pictures, explaining the best I can that he will be getting to meet his daddy soon. I hope. He falls asleep in my lap. I hear Turner’s car coming up the street. He approaches the porch, seeing Aiden slumped in my arms he takes him from me and puts him in his bed.

  He rejoins me on the porch and takes a seat beside me.

  “So I want to understand Darby, before I put my heart out to you anymore than it already is. I want to know more about your situation with Brody and where you stand with him. Whatever this is between us, has taken over my world. I want to be here for you and Aiden but I need to know what I am walking into.”

  I explain to him how I had planned on putting Aiden up for adoption. Holding nothing back, I tell him all about my life growing up. How my dad had given up everything to raise me. Don’t get me wrong, had my dad not had his job in the coal mines, he would not have been able to provide for me the way he had. My dad gave up a lot when he married my mother. They were young and dumb. They ended up resenting one another after marrying so young. I didn’t want to doom me and Brody to their fate. I wanted a better life for both of us and I loved him enough to let him go. I explain about Marla’s drinking, it split my family up. I don’t want to raise a child in that environment. During my confession to Turner, I also realize that I don’t have to be with Brody to raise Aiden with him.

  Continuing with my story I tell him about the emails Brody would send and how hard it was to hear that he had gotten married. He was living his dream, even got drafted to his favorite team, the Red Jackets. I knew I couldn’t come back to him after a year and tell him he had a son, he was newly married and starting his career. Everyone would have thought I was after his money. Then another year passed and now another. There never was a right time to tell him. How could I after all this time has passed.

  I’m still not sure now is the best time to tell him. He has always had a drinking problem. I worry about Aiden having to grow up the way I did, with my mom’s drinking problem.

  Telling him he has a son I have kept from him, may push him over the edge.

  “Are you still in love with him?”

  “I don’t know, I thought I was until you came into my life. Now I don’t know if it’s that I love him because he is Aiden’s father, or because I really am in love with him. This conversation isn’t fair to you.” I wrap my hair in my fingers and twirl it. “Then there is the fact that you are my boss. I don’t want people to think I am screwing my way into becoming a spotlight dancer. I don’t deserve you Turner, but lord knows I want you anyways.”

  “Let’s take it one day at time. I don’t do relationships well, but I am willing to try for you.” We spend a few more hours talking about his role in the club. He is really excited about a meeting he has set up in Vegas next month with a big casino. Turner has been put in charge of negotiating a deal with the casino to open a Masquerade Club in their building. If he lands the deal, the franchise owner of the club says he will make Turner a partner of the Miami club and give him full control over it. This is a really big deal for him. This is why we need to be even more careful with our relationship, now more than ever.

  “When are you going to tell Brody?”

  “I don’t know, but I know I need to soon.”

  All I can do is kiss him right now in this moment. Turner is everything I could ever want in a man. I mean he is sexy as sin, good with my son, and so understanding of my situation.

  “Darby, I want to be with you, but I don’t know if I can do this, not knowing where you stand with Brody. I want you to take a few days to think. If you are sure you don’t want to try to work things out with Aiden’s dad, then I’ll be here. But if you decide you want a family with him Darby, I will walk away for good.”

  What just happened? I thought we were taking two steps forward only to take three steps back.

  Chapter Nine

  I am getting really nervous about telling Brody. I have played the words over and over again in my head. But no matter how I say it, it never sounds right. His reaction is what scares me the most. I mean he could be really happy or really pissed. If it were me I would be royally pissed off. How do you take everything that someone thought they knew about you, and say sorry it has all been a lie, but my intentions were true? Up or down I don’t know which way is right anymore. I am still confused by my feelings for him. My talk with Turner has me reevaluating my feelings on everything in my life.

  I am trying so hard to figure it all out. No one has ever made me physically feel the way Turner has, but when I look back on my relationship with Brody, we shared such an amazing emotional connection. But now that more than three years have passed will it be strong, can it survive time and all the lies. This weekend there is a huge fashion show taking place. The managers are calling a staff meeting, which means I have to be there and I have to see Turner there as well.

  I get to the meeting and Turner won’t even look at me. “This weekend is going to be one of our biggest yet. We are going to need everyone to work this weekend, even if you are scheduled to be off, we are going to need you. So everyone head home and do whatever it that you do and be back here by seven.”

  Then it happens, Turner looks at me and my heart jumps into my throat. I want to jump over the chairs and the people seated in front of me and tell him I don’t care. I want him to take me in his arms and tell me none of it matters. That we will work through it all together. I want him to want me. It’s now that I realize that I am no longer in love with Brody. I have been in love with the idea of what could have been. Turner breaks our brief gaze and exits the room. I rush home to get ready for the weekend ahead of me.

  I have to take Marla to an appointment with her Oncologist. They want her to start chemo again and she is refusing. I am so frustrated by her. I hear a loud thump, and assume it is Aiden playing roughly with his toy’s as I walk past his room.

  “Marla are you about ready, we have to get going if we are going to beat
the midday rush.”

  I make my way to her room to see if she needs my assistance getting dressed.

  “Fuck!” I let out in a cry. Aiden comes running to see what has me so upset. Marla is lying in her floor motionless. Aiden’s presence snaps me from my shock. I dial 911 and start checking her for a pulse, she has one but it is faint.

  “911, what’s your emergency?”

  I relay the information to the operator the best I can. I am trying to hold back my sobs. I don’t want to frighten Aiden. I know he isn’t old enough to fully understand what is going on, but I don’t want him terrified from this later on in his life. He is already going to have enough to deal with, no thanks me and my bad decision making habits.

  “Aiden, baby, mommy needs to you to be a big boy and go to your room. Can you do that for mommy?”

  He nods his head and does as I ask. He is so smart for his age. He was walking at nine months old.

  I am so scared I can’t lose her, not yet. “Don’t leave me mom, please, please hold on for me, for Aiden!” I brush her hair back from her face. I position her and start chest compressions. Fuck how many times did the operator say to do it? I pick my phone up off the floor.

  “Ma’am are you still with me? How many times did you say I choke out?”

  “One hundred miss, just try to remain calm the paramedics will be there in a few minutes.”

  Positioning my hands between her breasts in the center of her chest, I begin pumping. I silently count each compression in my head. A few moments later I am being pulled away from her as the paramedics begin working on her. They get her stable and oxygen mask placed over mouth. They let me know I can follow the ambulance if I like but they are taking her to Walter’s Memorial Hospital. I start to call Caroline but then I remember she is working today and Krista is in class. I have no one left to call but my boss Chris. I could call Turner, but Aiden isn’t his responsibility, he is mine.

  Chris tells me to bring him by the gym that Jessica is in the middle of a zumba class. She can watch him afterwards, but until then he can hangout with him. Jessica is the gym’s aerobics’ instructor and Chris’s wife. I thank Chris a million times as I leave Aiden with him and rush frantically to reach Marla. I promise him that I will be back for Aiden as soon as I can.

  When I arrive at the hospital, they don’t have good news for me. Marla has suffered a stroke, and she isn’t responding. When the stroke hit she fell and knocked her head on the floor. That was the thump I had heard. There is swelling on her brain, and they can’t give me any other information until they run more test.

  They have her on life support. They ask me a gazillion and one question’s, because I am her next of kin. They are asking me so many questions about her cancer that I don’t know the answers to. An hour later the doctor pulls me aside and tells me that they have a living will on file for her and that in it states that she does not want to be kept on life support no longer than two days. The weight of his words hits me like a ton of bricks. I feel off balance and the room is spinning. The doctor makes me sit down and hold my head between my legs.

  “Just breathe Miss Stuart. Slow deep breathes, that’s it.”

  He further explains that he has had time to review her file more thoroughly and due to the advance state of her pancreatic cancer her chances of recovery are slim to none.

  I walk back to Marla’s room in a daze. I wish this were a nightmare. The weak state of her body from the cancer is not in her favor. She looks so frail in her bed with all the tubes in her body. Have I not noticed how bad she has looked these past few months? I take her hand in mine and trace the lines on her palm. I tell her all the things I have always wanted to say but never had the courage. I tell her how angry I am with her for leaving me once again. How dare she put me through this? Our times not up. Aiden needs her, I need her damn it! I place a kiss on her cheek. I stand to stretch my legs. They are stiff from sitting hunched over her bed for so long.

  There is a light knock on the door. It’s Caroline. She pulls me into her arms and holds me as I cry. “How did you know?’

  “Mrs. Moore from across the street told me. Now here I am. I am so sorry Darby! How is she? Is she going to be okay?”

  I wipe my tears away and slide my hands down my pants. “No, she’s going to leave me. I’m not ready for her to go Caroline. I can’t do this. And I need to pick up Aiden. I can’t just leave him with Chris and Jessica. He is probably so scared and confused.”

  “I can pick him up and bring him here if you want, or I can take him to the park for a little bit if you want to stay here a little longer. Just let me know what you need from me. Do you need me to call work for you?”

  “No I am going to work tonight. I can’t just sit here doing nothing. I need to keep busy.”

  Chapter Ten

  Aiden was more than excited to go to the park with Caroline. I arrive at the park to take him home. The two of them together is a sight of pure perfection. Caroline is so good with him. She is holding up Aiden in the air and blowing raspberries on his tummy. He is shrieking in protest, the cutest thing ever! I take him home with me for a bit. I get Aiden fed his dinner and give him his bath. I know he is confused about Marla being gone. He keeps saying “Mam Mam,” and going to her recliner. It breaks my heart. Caroline is home and able to watch him for me while I go to work

  Tonight is crazy busy, I haven’t seen Turner all night. I want to tell him about my mom. He has grown attached to her. I sometimes tease him that he only comes to the house so he can visit her. I am in need of a break. Turning the knob to the lounge, I try to gain entrance, the door is jammed. What the hell? I go over to the bar and take a seat. There is only one reason I can think of for the door to be locked and it makes my stomach churn. I keep my eyes glued to the door waiting for anyone to come out, anyone but Turner. Ten minutes pass, my break is almost over when finally I see the door crack.

  Krista walks out and wipes the corners of her mouth. The door shuts again. She sees me watching and gives me a smirk. My heart is in my throat. Another minute passes by and the door opens. Turner walks out buttoning his sleeves. He doesn’t see me studying his actions. I am so sick, my head feels woozy, and I am afraid my knees are going to buckle. I almost gave my heart to him. How could he? I have been honest with him from the start.

  I grab the counter for support. I can’t control the tears as they start to flood my cheeks. Rushing through the front doors, I tell the bouncer something has come up to tell Trina I had to leave. What a shitty fucking day! My mom is dying and Turner doing whatever he was doing with that whore! My phone buzzes, it’s Turner calling. No thank you, I send it to voicemail. He leaves a message but I can’t bear to hear his voice and whatever lie he is about to feed me. Not this girl, I’m not going to just bend over and take it. I spend the rest of the night watching cartoons with the only man I can trust besides my daddy, my little Aiden.

  I drop Aiden off at daycare and head to the gym. I have a zumba class and a strip tease class scheduled for today. I keep catching myself eying the front entrance, watching for Turner to come in for his daily workout. He never shows and even though I am mad at him, a part of me still wants to see him. I am a glutton for punishment. This is what I deserve. After the way I have treated Brody it serves me right. I leave Aiden in daycare for a little longer so I can go to the hospital to check on Marla.

  When I arrive at the hospital the doctor is waiting for me. “Miss Stuart I regret to inform you that your mother’s condition is not improving, it is declining. I am afraid there is nothing more we can do for her. I would like your permission to take her off of life support.” The doctor places his hand on my shoulder. “Is there anyone we can call for you, any other family?” I shake my head. “Do I have your permission?” I nod in response. I can’t bring myself to say the words. He reaches me a form and I sign.

  They give me a few minutes to say goodbye. I rub her hand, it is still so warm. Her pulse is there but very faint. I am not ready to say goodbye!
“I am so mad at you right now! How can you leave me while I need you the most?” I take a moment to collect my thoughts. “I am going to call Brody. I am going to tell him about Aiden. I wish you could be here when they meet. I know you will be proud of me for doing the right thing. I love you mom.”

  The doctor and a few nurses come into the room, they ask me to leave the room, but there is apart of me that is hanging on. Hoping that they are wrong and when they unhook the tubes and machines she is going to breathe on her own. But it finally hits me once they have unhooked everything that her chest isn’t raising. My mother is gone. I place a call to my dad and let him know that she has passed on. I don’t think I have ever heard my daddy cry until now. Just because they have been divorced all these years doesn’t mean he don’t care for her.

  I pick my son up and take him home, we spend the evening curled up in Marla’s recliner together. “Mam Mam,” he says. “No baby, Mam Mam has gone to be with the angels.” I make a call to Trina at the club and Chris at the gym to let them know I won’t be in for a few days, that my mother has passed away. Each of them sends me their condolences and tells me to take as much time as I need.

  I call the last person I ever expected to call. I call Brody.

  “Hello.”

  “Brody, I need you.”

  “Darby, is this really you?”

  “Yes it’s me. I have no right to ask this of you but my mother has passed away and I don’t want to be alone.”

  “When is the funeral, I can clear a day to be, there just name it.”

  “The funeral will be held in a day or two.”

  “It will take some rescheduling, but I’ll be there, email me the information.”

  Oh my God! Did I really just call Brody and ask him to come here? Caroline comes over the next day to keep Aiden so I can go to the funeral home to finalize the arrangements. I pick out a silver casket for her. The inside is satin and embroidered with roses. Thankfully Marla was better prepared for this than I knew. She had life insurance and she had most of the details setup with her attorney. The insurance isn’t much but it is enough to cover the expenses for her burial.