She answered on the second ring. “Kelvin, sweet baby boy, what’s wrong that you’re calling me direct this late at night?”
“I’m putting you on speaker. Kindly remind your daughter what she was doing at the age of fifteen.”
My mother blanched. I set my phone on my desk, enabling the speaker function. “It’s on speaker now.”
“Sarah, why is that dear boy of yours resorting to this? You know full well you were wading knee-deep through cow shit working the manure line because you couldn’t figure out how to count to ten without a calculator.”
“Mom!” my mother wailed.
“Don’t you throw stones in a glass house, little girl. Knee-deep through cow shit. You might be a queen now, but you sure didn’t start that way.”
“But Mom…”
“Don’t you even. Knee-deep through cow shit. How many times do I need to repeat it?”
“But this hussy’s a bounty hunter!”
I stiffened. “Excuse me?”
“Now you’ve done it, little girl. You’ve gone and offended your sweet little boy. Do you have proof she’s a hussy, or are you mad you’ve been outclassed?”
I flipped through Eva’s file, disliking what I found. “No, she’s not a hussy, but she’s faced charges—since written-off—for self-defense. She hospitalized two would-be rapists. She has a count of obstructing a theft with violence, which resulted in a broken window. She used the thief’s head to break the window. She paid a fine of five hundred for the damages.”
“I’m not seeing the issue.”
“Neither am I,” I snapped, closing the folder.
“Have you listened to her talk?” my mother demanded.
“Yes, I have.”
My grandmother cackled. “Does Kelvin’s little lady have colorful language?”
“She’s foul!”
“Knee-deep in cow shit, little girl.” When my grandmother issued warnings, the wise listened. “I’ll be there the day after tomorrow, and I expect both of you to be nice to that young lady. Am I understood?”
My parents froze, their eyes widening. While I’d made arrangements with the palace staff regarding my grandmother’s arrival, I’d forgotten an important detail. “Oh, right. That reminds me. Grandmother will be Princess Abigail’s lady-in-waiting. I thought she’d like it.”
My mother clapped her hands to her mouth, and her eyes watered. “Oh, Kel.”
“If your sweet little boy wants a foul-mouthed lady who can cross the street without help, let him have her. His heart has always been in the right place, even though you can’t see that. Hell, she’d be a fine queen for him from what I’m hearing, and I haven’t even met her yet. When you’ve got a heart of gold on one side, you need a sharp sword on the other to protect it. Our sweet baby boy here’s a lot of things, but he’s no warrior. You two leave him alone about her, apologize for being mean, and let him figure things out without you meddling. Behave!”
My grandmother hung up.
“Kelvin,” my father growled.
I wasn’t going to survive to attend Eva’s interview. My father was going to kill me. My only hope was to distract my parents with discussion of Abby’s upcoming visit. “Princess Abigail has always loved Grandmother. Should you as much as even think of criticizing my choice, maybe I will just pass the crown to Grégoire so I don’t have to deal with it—and if Grégoire doesn’t want it, I’m sure Uncle Tim would love to be saddled with the job.”
“That’s not funny, Kelvin.”
“Good, because I wasn’t joking. I really don’t care if you’re scared shitless of my grandmother. I also don’t care if Evangeline isn’t the typical RPS applicant.” I picked up Eva’s file and slapped it against my desk. “First, she’s competent. Second, she’s not afraid of royalty. Third, she’s unafraid of the RPS. She calls them dudes in suits to their faces. I’m tired of people throwing women like Gail at me. I’m tired of meeting expectations. As such, I’m going to surround myself with people who have turned their weaknesses into strengths. She’s done that.”
“But she could be dangerous,” my mother whispered.
“I’m not concerned about a no-kill bounty hunter with a serious case of ethics. Sure, she’s no princess, but I don’t need a princess.”
“What do you need then?” my father snapped.
“Someone who won’t run away screaming from a bunch of predatory shapeshifters? How about someone capable of taking care of herself? Let’s not be idiots about this, Dad. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, which is why she’ll get to beat me three times a week compared to your once a month.”
My mother sighed. “He has a point. If he survives that, he can probably survive anything. But why a bounty hunter?”
“Well, another bounty hunter won’t get past her, and neither will most assassins. But that’s not going to fly with you two, is it?”
“No,” Dad replied. “It won’t.”
“I’ll allow it as a pro on the list. That doesn’t excuse the rest.”
I loved my mother, but I needed to make it clear where I stood, and it wasn’t with her. “No one asked you to excuse anything, Mother. You just need to deal with it. Preferably quietly.”
“Fine. Give him what he wants. If he’s kidnapped, maybe we’ll just name one of the girls the heir. Supposedly, this is when we should be grateful he’s being assertive.”
“Babe,” Dad complained.
“I had to resort to kidnapping to get you. Maybe he’s just walking in your footsteps.” My mother scowled. “You’re ruthless, Kel. Calling my mother like that!”
“I certainly wasn’t going to win otherwise.”
“You haven’t won this yet,” my father reminded me.
He was right. I hadn’t. Until I had a chance to find out if I could have a profane-ever-after with my plucky little huntress, I was in the loser category. “She’s a no-kill bounty hunter. Not an assassin. Not some common criminal. She’s skilled, and that’s what the RPS needs. I’m looking for people who’ll stick around this time. If I can’t keep a detail for more than nine months, what makes you think I’ll have any luck finding a wife?”
My parents stared at each other. When they remained silent, I slapped the folder against my desk. “You’re going to have a round with her on the mat at one in Chicago, Dad. I’m going to have a round with her on the mat, too. If you’re worried, invite my uncles and the rest of my menacing relatives. I’m sure Great-Grandpa would love to watch you get beat by a woman.”
“You’re going to regret this, son.”
“You’re joking, right? I invited myself to a beating and promised her three sessions a week as a bribe to keep her from leaving Illinois. If she doesn’t beat me into submission, no one can.”
“Why do this, then?”
“If I can’t keep a stable RPS detail, at least this way I’ll be able to protect myself. This file tells me one thing: this woman knows how to protect herself.”
Eight came early, and aware of Eva’s warning, I ate a big breakfast and planned to avoid lunch altogether. Either worried I’d abdicate or curious, my father accompanied me to Chicago. I could’ve lived without his presence, especially after his commentary about Eva. A hefty dose of the silent treatment might impress upon him my parents had crossed a line with me. Taking advantage of the fact I refused to pay him a single grain of attention, I read over the daily briefing and confirmed I’d finished catching up on what I’d missed over the spring.
“Your Majesty, please leave His Highness alone,” Christian requested. I’d heard the man make similar requests already, but I’d gotten good at tuning out my father—and I hadn’t bothered counting the number of times Christian had gotten annoyed over the situation.
I checked out the window and sighed at the maze of streets we still needed to navigate to reach the office.
Closing my folder, I returned it to my briefcase. “What do you want now, Dad?”
Well over an hour of ignoring him wouldn’t
win me much in the grand scheme of things, but hopefully he’d remember I wasn’t going to let him keep badmouthing Eva.
“Why are we doing this?”
“I’m out of shape and need exercise. You’re an asshole who needs a reminder being a cat won’t save you from someone better armed and better trained. As I’m unable to keep a reliable detail, I’ll learn from the type of person who’d trouble the RPS if she were out for my blood. I’m tired of the bullshit. Unless you want to choose a new heir, I suggest you leave me alone about it. I wasn’t joking about the possibility of abdicating. I’m getting old enough where another option for the next king might be the wise choice for the sake of the kingdom’s stability. And don’t try to play stupid with me. Why else would the congress start pressuring about my marital status?”
“You don’t have to abdicate for being slow to marry. You just—”
“Haven’t been looking for a wife in a parent-approved fashion.”
“Kelvin!”
“It’s true. And until I have a stable detail, I refuse. If I can’t get a stable detail, my wife would go unprotected, too. No. My way or I’m taking the highway on this one. I’m not the last of the line, and Grégoire isn’t my only cousin dealing with the family curse. The rest just stay at home because they can.”
“Fucking wolves,” my father growled.
“It would be tragic if a cat had a dog for his heir.”
Christian snorted. “Your Majesty, it’s worth pointing out Miss Evangeline’s resume and background are ideal for RPS work.”
“What’s her last name?” I asked.
“She doesn’t have one, sir. She was disowned and did not opt to have a new last name issued.”
I cringed, and as expected, my father pounced on the information. “What rank?”
“We expect her talent evaluation to come back as a low to moderate level elite. She’s disclosed parts of her bloodline for talent inheritance purposes but asked we leave it out of any official paperwork. I agreed due to circumstances.”
“Risk factor?”
“For His Highness? Nil. For Miss Evangeline? It’s a possibility, but from my understanding of the situation, her family lacks the general resources to pose much of a threat. Her joining the RPS would offer her protections she does not currently enjoy. Due to her disowning, she’s been wandering the Royal States since she was fifteen. Since eighteen, she’s been accepting government contracts in order to maintain her visas legally. Her work record’s good. Her specialization is in tracking and recovery, with a few relocation runs with acceptable circumstances for her hire. She’s in Illinois on a valid hunting and fishing visa, and we’ve verified she’s a conservationist. For the uninformed, she only kills what she’ll eat and releases the rest. Her trophy shots are of tranquilized targets, which she monitors during their release. She’s made a substantial amount of money tagging endangered species for tracking for kingdoms.”
I huffed over the confirmation of my initial thoughts, pleased she avoided unnecessary killing. It offered me the hope she’d been tracking me to make certain I hadn’t kicked the bucket rather than to turn me into a very large but delicious dinner. “Got a gallery of her trophies?”
“If you ask her, you’ll lose several hours without seeing the entirety of it,” Christian warned.
“That’s no issue.”
“Yes, it is,” my father grumbled.
“Dad, I was not joking about abdicating to Grégoire if you can’t remain civil. I can have the paperwork finished by this evening if you can’t at least attempt to cooperate. So help me, try testing your luck. Congress isn’t far from here, and I have zero problems with making an appearance, informing them I’m abdicating, and making arrangements to leave Illinois. And I’ll cite you and their efforts to marry me off as the cause. No.”
“You signed me up for monthly beatings.”
Christian cleared his throat. “Before this escalates further, I would like to remind Your Majesty that His Highness is completely within his rights to forfeit his claim on the crown and invoke the law to secure an immediate transfer out of kingdom. That is his right, and as a member of the RPS, it is my legal duty and responsibility to see that happen if he requests it.”
“I understand the law,” my father snapped.
“Then take this seriously. His Highness has obviously been provoked, and unless you want to lose your heir, perhaps a change of course would be prudent. As for Miss Evangeline, His Highness has presented a very good idea which the RPS will be implementing. After discussion, which included Miss Evangeline, we have decided on once-a-week sessions, and these sessions will also include Her Majesty and the rest of the royal children. To begin with, she will do one-hour sessions in the evenings following typical RPS agent training sessions. Considering His Highness’s difficulties maintaining a detail, this is the safest course of action. Miss Evangeline has the experience most in the RPS do not: she’s been taking care of herself without the benefit of a bodyguard for the entirety of her adult life and much of her teenage years.”
“You, too?” Dad complained.
“Losing your heir to prideful stupidity is not beneficial to Illinois.”
“You’re really siding with him.”
“Yes, sir, I am.”
“I’ve been demoted now, too?”
Christian chuckled. “Should you fire me, I intend to apply to His Highness’s detail.”
“Absolutely not!”
“Then perhaps you should be more considerate towards His Highness’s requests, Your Majesty.”
“It’s a conspiracy,” Dad muttered. “Fine. If she hurts you, Kelvin, I’m killing her myself.”
Why did I have to have the psychotic overprotective father with feline tendencies? “Bruising and injuries sustained during training don’t count.”
“Damn it.”
I allowed myself to smile. “I see she’s already being a good influence on you.”
“You’re a spoiled rotten little shit, Kelvin.”
“Forgive His Majesty, Your Highness. It’s always tough on a father when his baby boy becomes a man.”
I snickered at Christian’s comment. “My sisters, my older sisters, are just going to love hearing about this.”
“No,” Dad stated.
“Yes. I think I’ll call Suzette tonight. Think she might be game for dinner after my scheduled beating, Christian?”
“I’ll check her schedule after you’re settled in your office, Your Highness.”
“My son may be a little shit, but you’re something else, Christian.”
“You appreciate having someone around who’ll nudge you when you’re wrong. That’s why you haven’t fired me yet.”
“I’m never allowed to fire you. The wife would kill me.”
“Her Majesty is wise—usually.”
Usually was the key word, and I had my doubts my mother would ever approve of Eva no matter what I said or did. The sooner I accepted that, the better off I’d be.
The truth hurt, and I supposed it was yet another stage of preparing to become a king in my father’s stead. Neither of my parents needed to approve of her.
They didn’t even need to approve of me.
I just needed a chance to discover if Eva was what I needed—and if she’d accept me despite everything stacked against the possibility of there being an us.
The news of her disowning worried me, for she had every reason to resent my existence and no reason to trust me.
I’d have my work cut out for me, which meant it was just another day in Illinois.
Chapter Eight
While Eva was my goal, I needed a solid detail of people I could trust. If things went as I hoped, half of the people I recruited would ultimately protect her. If I could prove we could be partners in all ways, I’d sleep better at night knowing my partner could protect herself from anything anyone tossed at her.
The problem of finding a good detail left me with a large stack of paperwork and an older woman who lo
oked me over with open disapproval. Christian left me alone with her, returning to his duties protecting my father, which led me to believe she was some form of RPS agent. I eyed her as much as she eyed me, sat behind my desk and pulled the files closer.
“I’ve been briefed on your familial circumstances. In any other situation, I would never condone a plan of this nature. However, Christian’s work is well-respected, and he’s not one to exaggerate a situation. Your problems with your detail concern me, an obvious issue relating to your specific talent. So, here I am. I’m Meredith Scarson, and I’ll be acting as the head of your detail until a suitable candidate is found and trained. I’ll also be managing your potential relationship with Evangeline, as I’ve been informed you’re hopeless.”
I relaxed, flipped open the top folder to discover a stats sheet of a potential RPS agent, and considered my options. If I wanted to keep Meredith on my side, I’d have to handle her carefully—something I rarely worried about with Christian and the other long-term agents. “That’s fair. What are the rules?”
“Good. You recognize there need to be rules. Some fledgling monarchs don’t understand this concept. You will keep your relationship with Miss Evangeline clean. No sex, no holding hands, no sneaking kisses in a closet. Throughout the duration of training, which will not involve masks of any nature, and until it’s determined a relationship can progress, you will act like a professional at all times. If this woman is the one for you, she must want you for you. Not your rank or face. And I strongly recommend against displaying any signs of affection. She’s a professional, and that would be a quick way to ruin any chance you might have with her. I’m not convinced you will be able to break the barriers of her professionalism, frankly.”
“I can work with that. I’m hoping my initial bribes have earned some good will.”
“Yes, I heard about that. Monthly beatings for His Majesty at her hand, as he annoys her. That was a sly move, and yes, you have caught her attention with that stunt. He’s a lynx shapeshifter and the definition of annoying. Shapeshifters usually are. They’re too much like their beast. That, too, will be an issue you have to overcome. Miss Evangeline is of the opinion shapeshifters sacrifice much of their humanity to be what they are, and her opinions of your family are colored by this. She is aware you’re from a line of shapeshifters. Christian has notified me he knows your form but is under oath to keep it a secret unless it is a life-or-death situation.”
Huntress Page 8
