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Erotic Classics I

Page 121

by Various Authors


  Wanda sadly lowers her head, and then sits down on the nearest stone bench. She sits for a long time, lost in thought. I watch her with a sort of malevolent pleasure, finally I pull myself together by sheer force of will, and ironically step before her. She startles, and trembles all over.

  “I come to wish you happiness,” I said, bowing, “I see, my dear lady, too, has found a master.”

  “Yes, thank God!” she exclaimed, “not a new slave, I have had enough of them. A master! Woman needs a master, and she adores him.”

  “You adore him, Wanda?” I cried, “this brutal person—”

  “Yes, I love him, as I have never loved anyone else.”

  “Wanda!” I clenched my fists, but tears already filled my eyes, and I was seized by the delirium of passion, as by a sweet madness. “Very well, take him as your husband, let him be your master, but I want to remain your slave, as long as I live.”

  “You want to remain my slave, even then?” she said, “that would be interesting, but I am afraid he wouldn’t permit it.”

  “He?”

  “Yes, he is already jealous of you,” she exclaimed, “he, of you! He demanded that I dismiss you immediately, and when I told him who you were—”

  “You told him—” I repeated, thunderstruck.

  “I told him everything,” she replied, “our whole story, all your queerness, everything—and he, instead of being amused, grew angry, and stamped his foot.”

  “And threatened to strike you?”

  Wanda looked to the ground, and remained silent.

  “Yes, indeed,” I said with mocking bitterness, “you are afraid of him, Wanda!” I threw myself down at her feet, and in my agitation embraced her knees. “I don’t want anything of you, except to be your slave, to be always near you! I will be your dog-”

  “Do you know, you bore me?” said Wanda, indifferently.

  I leaped up. Everything within me was seething.

  “You are now no longer cruel, but cheap,” I said, clearly and distinctly, accentuating every word.

  “You have already written that in your letter,” Wanda replied, with a proud shrug of the shoulders. “A man of brains should never repeat himself.”

  “The way you are treating me,” I broke out, “what would you call it?”

  “I might punish you,” she replied ironically, “but I prefer this time to reply with reasons instead of lashes. You have no right to accuse me. Haven’t I always been honest with you? Haven’t I warned you more than once? Didn’t I love you with all my heart, even passionately, and did I conceal the fact from you, that it was dangerous to give yourself into my power, to abase yourself before me, and that I want to be dominated? But you wished to be my plaything, my slave! You found the highest pleasure in feeling the foot, the whip of an arrogant, cruel woman. What do you want now?

  “Dangerous potentialities were slumbering in me, but you were the first to awaken them. If I now take pleasure in torturing you, abusing you, it is your fault; you have made of me what I now am, and now you are even unmanly, weak, and miserable enough to accuse me.”

  “Yes, I am guilty,” I said, “but haven’t I suffered because of it? Let us put an end now to the cruel game.”

  “That is my wish, too,” she replied with a curious deceitful look.

  “Wanda!” I exclaimed violently, “don’t drive me to extremes; you see that I am a man again.”

  “A fire of straw,” she replied, “which makes a lot of stir for a moment, and goes out as quickly as it flared up. You imagine you can intimidate me, and you only make yourself ridiculous. Had you been the man I first thought you were, serious, reserved, stern, I would have loved you faithfully, and become your wife. Woman demands that she can look up to a man, but one like you who voluntarily places his neck under her foot, she uses as a welcome plaything, only to toss it aside when she is tired of it.”

  “Try to toss me aside,” I said, jeeringly. “Some toys are dangerous.”

  “Don’t challenge me,” exclaimed Wanda. Her eyes began to flash, and a flush entered her cheeks.

  “If you won’t be mine now,” I continued, with a voice stifled with rage, “no one else shall possess you either.”

  “What play is this from?” she mocked, seizing me by the breast. She was pale with anger at this moment. “Don’t challenge me,” she continued, “I am not cruel, but I don’t know whether I may not become so and whether then there will be any bounds.”

  “What worse can you do, than to make your lover, your husband?” I exclaimed, more and more enraged.

  “I might make you his slave,” she replied quickly, “are you not in my power? Haven’t I the agreement? But, of course, you will merely take pleasure in it, if I have you bound, and say to him.

  “Do with him what you please.”

  “Woman, are you mad!” I cried.

  “I am entirely rational,” she said, calmly. “I warn you for the last time. Don’t offer any resistance, one who has gone as far as I have gone might easily go still further. I feel a sort of hatred for you, and would find a real joy in seeing him beat you to death; I am still restraining myself, but—”

  Scarcely master of myself any longer, I seized her by the wrist and forced her to the ground, so that she lay on her knees before me.

  “Severin!” she cried. Rage and terror were painted on her face.

  “I shall kill you if you marry him,” I threatened; the words came hoarsely and dully from my breast. “You are mine, I won’t let you go, I love you too much.” Then I clutched her and pressed her close to me; my right hand involuntarily seized the dagger which I still had in my belt.

  Wanda fixed a large, calm, incomprehensible look on me.

  “I like you that way,” she said, carelessly. “Now you are a man, and at this moment I know I still love you.”

  “Wanda,” I wept with rapture, and bent down over her, covering her dear face with kisses, and she, suddenly breaking into a loud gay laugh, said, “Have you finished with your ideal now, are you satisfied with me?”

  “You mean?” I stammered, “that you weren’t serious?”

  “I am very serious,” she gaily continued. “I love you, only you, and you—you foolish, little man, didn’t know that everything was only make-believe and playacting. How hard it often was for me to strike you with the whip, when I would have rather taken your head and covered it with kisses. But now we are through with that, aren’t we? I have played my cruel role better than you expected, and now you will be satisfied with my being a good, little wife who isn’t altogether unattractive. Isn’t that so? We will live like rational people—”

  “You will marry me!” I cried, overflowing with happiness.

  “Yes—marry you—you dear, darling man,” whispered Wanda, kissing my hands.

  I drew her up to my breast.

  “Now, you are no longer Gregor, my slave,” said she, “but Severin, the dear man I love—”

  “And he—you don’t love him?” I asked in agitation.

  “How could you imagine my loving a man of his brutal type? You were blind to everything, I was really afraid for you.”

  “I almost killed myself for your sake.”

  “Really?” she cried, “ah, I still tremble at the thought that you were already in the Arno.”

  “But you saved me,” I replied, tenderly. “You hovered over the waters and smiled, and your smile called me back to life.”

  I have a curious feeling when I now hold her in my arms and she lies silently against my breast and lets me kiss her and smiles. I feel like one who has suddenly awakened out of a feverish delirium, or like a shipwrecked man who has for many days battled with waves that momentarily threatened to devour him and finally has found a safe shore.

  * * * * *

  “I hate this Florence, wh
ere you have been so unhappy,” she declared, as I was saying good night to her. “I want to leave immediately, tomorrow, you will be good enough to write a couple of letters for me, and, while you are doing that, I will drive to the city to pay my farewell visits. Is that satisfactory to you?”

  “Of course, you dear, sweet, beautiful woman.”

  Early in the morning she knocked at my door to ask how I had slept. Her tenderness is positively wonderful. I should never have believed that she could be so tender.

  She has now been gone for over four hours. I have long since finished the letters, and am now sitting in the gallery, looking down the street to see whether I cannot discover her carriage in the distance. I am a little worried about her, and yet I know there is no reason under heaven why I should doubt or fear. However, a feeling of oppression weighs me down, and I cannot rid myself of it. It is probably the sufferings of the past days, which still cast their shadows into my soul.

  She is back, radiant with happiness and contentment.

  “Well, has everything gone as you wished?” I asked tenderly, kissing her hand.

  “Yes, dear heart,” she replied, “and we shall leave tonight. Help me pack my trunks.”

  Toward evening she asked me to go to the post office and mail her letters myself. I took her carriage, and was back within an hour.

  “Mistress has asked for you,” said the negress, with a grin, as I ascended the wide marble stairs.

  “Has anyone been here?”

  “No one,” she replied, crouching down on the steps like a black cat.

  I slowly passed through the drawing room, and then stood before her bedroom door.

  Why does my heart beat so? Am I not perfectly happy?

  Opening the door softly, I draw back the portiere. Wanda is lying on the ottoman, and does not seem to notice me. How beautiful she looks, in her silver-gray dress, which fits closely, and while displaying in telltale fashion her splendid figure, leaves her wonderful bust and arms bare.

  Her hair is interwoven with, and held up by a black velvet ribbon. A mighty fire is burning in the fireplace, the hanging lamp casts a reddish glow, and the whole room is as if drowned in blood.

  “Wanda,” I said at last.

  “Oh Severin,” she cried out joyously. “I have been impatiently waiting for you.” She leaped up, and folded me in her arms. She sat down again on the rich cushions and tried to draw me down to her side, but I softly slid down to her feet and placed my head in her lap.

  “Do you know I am very much in love with you today?” she whispered, brushing a few stray hairs from my forehead and kissing my eyes.

  “How beautiful your eyes are, I have always loved them as the best of you, but today they fairly intoxicate me. I am all—” She extended her magnificent limbs and tenderly looked at me from beneath her red lashes.

  “And you—you are cold—you hold me like a block of wood; wait, I’ll stir you with the fire of love,” she said, and again clung fawningly and caressingly to my lips.

  “I no longer please you; I suppose I’ll have to be cruel to you again, evidently I have been too kind to you today. Do you know, you little fool, what I shall do, I shall whip you for a while—”

  “But child—”

  “I want to.”

  “Wanda!”

  “Come, let me bind you,” she continued, and ran gaily through the room. “I want to see you very much in love, do you understand? Here are the ropes. I wonder if I can still do it?”

  She began with fettering my feet and then she tied my hands behind my back, pinioning my arms like those of a prisoner.

  “So,” she said, with gay eagerness. “Can you still move?”

  “No.”

  “Fine—”

  She then tied a noose in a stout rope, threw it over my head, and let it slip down as far as the hips. She drew it tight, and bound me to a pillar.

  A curious tremor seized me at that moment.

  “I have a feeling as if I were about to be executed,” I said with a low voice.

  “Well, you shall have a thorough punishment today,” exclaimed Wanda.

  “But put on your fur jacket, please,” I said.

  “I shall gladly give you that pleasure,” she replied. She got her kazabaika, and put it on. Then she stood in front of me with her arms folded across her chest, and looked at me out of half-closed eyes.

  “Do you remember the story of the ox of Dionysius?” she asked.

  “I remember it only vaguely, what about it?”

  “A courtier invented a new implement of torture for the Tyrant of Syracuse. It was an iron ox in which those condemned to death were to be shut, and then pushed into a mighty furnace.

  “As soon as the iron ox began to get hot, and the condemned person began to cry out in his torment, his wails sounded like the bellowing of an ox.

  “Dionysius nodded graciously to the inventor, and to put his invention to an immediate test had him shut up in the iron ox.

  “It is a very instructive story.

  “It was you who innoculated me with selfishness, pride, and cruelty, and you shall be their first victim. I now literally enjoy having a human being that thinks and feels and desires like myself in my power; I love to abuse a man who is stronger in intelligence and body than I, especially a man who loves me.

  “Do you still love me?”

  “Even to madness,” I exclaimed.

  “So much the better,” she replied, “and so much the more will you enjoy what I am about to do with you now.”

  “What is the matter with you?” I asked. “I don’t understand you, there is a gleam of real cruelty in your eyes today, and you are strangely beautiful—completely Venus in Furs.”

  Without replying Wanda placed her arms around my neck and kissed me. I was again seized by my fanatical passion.

  “Where is the whip?” I asked.

  Wanda laughed, and withdrew a couple of steps.

  “You really insist upon being punished?” she exclaimed, proudly tossing back her head.

  “Yes.”

  Suddenly Wanda’s face was completely transformed. It was as if disfigured by rage; for a moment she seemed even ugly to me.

  “Very well, then you whip him!” she called loudly.

  At the same instant the beautiful Greek stuck his head of black curls through the curtains of her four-poster bed. At first I was speechless, petrified. There was a horribly comic element in the situation. I would have laughed aloud, had not my position been at the same time so terribly cruel and humiliating.

  It went beyond anything I had imagined. A cold shudder ran down my back, when my rival stepped from the bed in his riding boots, his tight-fitting white breeches, and his short velvet jacket, and I saw his athletic limbs.

  “You are indeed cruel,” he said, turning to Wanda.

  “Only inordinately fond of pleasure,” she replied with a wild sort of humor. “Pleasure alone lends value to existence; whoever enjoys does not easily part from life, whoever suffers or is needy meets death like a friend.

  “But whoever wants to enjoy must take life gaily in the sense of the ancient world; he dare not hesitate to enjoy at the expense of others; he must never feel pity; he must be ready to harness others to his carriage or his plough as though they were animals. He must know how to make slaves of men who feel and would enjoy as he does, and use them for his service and pleasure without remorse. It is not his affair whether they like it, or whether they go to rack and ruin. He must always remember this, that if they had him in their power, as he has them they would act in exactly the same way, and he would have to pay for their pleasure with his sweat and blood and soul. That was the world of the ancients: pleasure and cruelty, liberty and slavery went hand in hand. People who want to live like the gods of Olympus must of necessity ha
ve slaves whom they can toss into their fish-ponds, and gladiators who will do battle, the while they banquet, and they must not mind if by chance a bit of blood bespatters them.”

  Her words brought back my complete self-possession.

  “Unloosen me!” I exclaimed angrily.

  “Aren’t you my slave, my property?” replied Wanda. “Do you want me to show you the agreement?”

  “Untie me!” I threatened, “otherwise—” I tugged at the ropes.

  “Can he tear himself free?” she asked. “He has threatened to kill me.”

  “Be entirely at ease,” said the Greek, testing my fetters.

  “I shall call for help,” I began again.

  “No one will hear you,” replied Wanda, “and no one will hinder me from abusing your most sacred emotions or playing a frivolous game with you.” she continued, repeating with satanic mockery phrases from my letter to her.

  “Do you think I am at this moment merely cruel and merciless, or am I also about to become cheap? What? Do you still love me, or do you already hate and despise me? Here is the whip—” She handed it to the Greek who quickly stepped closer.

  “Don’t you dare!” I exclaimed, trembling with indignation, “I won’t permit it—”

  “Oh, because I don’t wear furs,” the Greek replied with an ironical smile, and he took his short sable from the bed.

  “You are adorable,” exclaimed Wanda, kissing him, and helping him into his furs.

  “May I really whip him?” he asked.

  “Do with him what you please,” replied Wanda.

  “Beast!” I exclaimed, utterly revolted.

  The Greek fixed his cold tigerish look upon me and tried out the whip. His muscles swelled when he drew back his arms, and made the whip hiss through the air. I was bound like Marsyas while Apollo was getting ready to flay me.

  My look wandered about the room and remained fixed on the ceiling, where Samson, lying at Delilah’s feet, was about to have his eyes put out by the Philistines. The picture at that moment seemed to me like a symbol, an eternal parable of passion and lust, of the love of man for woman. “Each one of us in the end is a Samson,” I thought, “and ultimately for better or worse is betrayed by the woman he loves, whether he wears an ordinary coat or sables.”

 

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