Sierra Hearts (Part One)

by Ash Elko

  “Alrighty. Let’s go.”

  He held the door open for Jenn to walk through. On the other side, Jenn saw the box on the bar. It was already packed.

  Might as well, she thought.

  Snow was coming down quickly as Jenn made her way to the Williamses’ house. It wasn’t a far walk. Jenn walked slowly, careful not to slip on the quickly freezing road beneath her feet. The last thing she wanted to do was slip on to hardened asphalt.

  She could barely see the house when she got to it because of the snowfall. She could see the rough outlines of the roof, now draped in white, as well as the steps leading up to the front door covered in snow so they looked like a thick white carpet. The house sat on a steep incline with one of the local mountains behind it. It made for great sledding for local kids. Jenn made her way up to the door and knocked. An electric pulse shot through from her ears to her toes. She hoped Danny opened the door. Then, she also hoped he didn’t open the door.

  Jenn thought of the word nervous.

  The door opened. It was Danny, after all. Jenn immediately felt heat radiate over her cheeks. She couldn’t stop herself from blushing.

  “Well, hello,” Danny said with a genuine smile revealing his teeth. He held the door open wide and held out his arm in an old fashioned way to signal for Jenn to enter.

  “Come on in,” he said, his warm voice melting away the chill. Jenn followed his lead inside, stomping her feet to remove the snow from her boots on the matt just inside the doorway. She realized she hadn’t said anything yet.

  “I’ve got the groceries,” she blurted out and held up the box, instantly regretting it.

  Danny chuckled. “And here I was, thinking this was a social visit. But no, all business,” he said with a laugh. Danny reached out to take the box from her. He was wearing a dark green shirt with sleeves rolled up to the elbows revealing powerful looking forearms. Jenn followed the arms as they took the box and placed them on the floor out of range of any snow that might have fallen on the ground from Jenn’s entrance.

  Jenn wasn’t sure what to do next. Should she say something? Should she leave? She was surprised how much being in the same room with him was paralyzing her and how anxious she was feeling.

  “Snow’s really coming down out there,” Danny said. “Can I get you something? Coffee or hot cocoa? Come on, have a seat by the fire and take off some of those layers.”

  Jenn could see an outstretched muscular arm signal to the couch in front of it.

  “I’m going to make some tea, would you like some?” Danny asked as he headed to where the kitchen was.

  “Tea would be lovely,” Jenn said, conscious of the fact that she was now removing her heavy snow jacket. She could feel herself removing her scarf and knit cap, but it was as if someone else was doing it and she were merely along for the ride. She hesitated about taking her boots off. Taking her boots off meant she would be staying for longer than a few minutes. She could hear Danny make his way to the kitchen, and, once there, turn on the sink to fill the kettle. Something about it seemed so natural, as if men everywhere should always have been offering to make tea for her. So she took her boots off.

  The fire going in the fireplace drew Jenn to it its warmth a welcome change to the now outside. Jenn sat on an over stuffed sofa that felt as soft as velvet. Her eyes drifted across the remainder of the room. Intricately made wood furniture dotted the room, the kind people passed down to their family. All of the pieces looked old. There was a broad dark wood bookcase in the corner with an ornamental curving top that reminded Jenn of icing on a slice of cake. In the corner there was a straight chair with feet that looked like claws and armrests that spiraled. Last, but certainly not least, was an ornate coffee table that sat between the fireplace and the sofa Jenn found herself. It looked like it was one large piece of wood that had been polished until it was smooth with rounded edges. Jenn followed the lines in the grain of the table from one edge to the other, completely mesmerized by its hypnotic ability to calm her. This was so much different than the sleek designs of the apartments of some of the people she knew in LA. All of these things added a bit of personality to the room and made it feel more like someone actually lived here. If the pieces could talk, they would probably tell stories or share family secrets the way a kind grandparent does. In short, it didn’t look like an IKEA showroom.

  She tried to remember the last time she had seen Danny. Their families had always been friendly. Jenn’s mother and Danny’s mother were always close, and when Jenn and Danny were children, the two families would exchange Christmas cards and family photos. He was a few years older than her and had been a few grades above her in school. It wasn’t like they had classes together or ran in the same social circles, but they knew each other enough to say hi in the hallway at school. He had graduated high school before she did, and afterwards Jenn had lost touch with him. He had joined the army and gone to Afghanistan. Maybe that explained why he had turned from scrawny to buff.

  Danny emerged from the kitchen with two steeping mugs in his hands. He offered one to Jenn. She gripped it with two hands, letting the heat warm them. Danny took a seat on the sofa on the opposite end from where Jenn sat.

  “So,” he began, “how is LA?”

  Jenn, despite her best efforts to suppress it, let out a big belly laugh.

  “LA? LA is kind of a hot mess. But part of the fun is knowing it is a hot mess. To live in the now and enjoy the sprawl and different groups of people all pushed up against of each other,” she said.

  “Some of the people there—”

  She almost choked on her words. She fought back the images of Max that all of a sudden came streaming through her mind.

  “Some of the people there are jerks, but all in all no more so than here. It just is a different flavor.”

  “See any movie stars?” Danny said, obviously teasing her.

  “Ha! No.”

  Danny grinned and sipped his tea.

  “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to see a movie star in person,” Danny said. “Maybe it wouldn’t be that great. I mean, to only know someone by their picture on a big screen, what if in seeing them in person you notice they aren’t as tall as you thought they were or their hair is starting to thin out or maybe they walk funny or something.”

  “Yeah,” Jenn said. “It would be weird to see someone you thought of as perfect suddenly as a human being.”

  “Exactly, exactly,” Danny said. There was an awkward pause now. Jenn wasn’t sure what else to say. She heard a loud crash that resonated and echoed in the room. It sounded like a freight train had come of the rails and smashed into the side of the house. Something was wrong. What had made that sound?

  “What was that?” Jenn asked, more than a little frightened.

  “I’m not sure,” Danny said. He stood up and went to the front door. He opened, carefully. Jenn tiptoed over to him. She did her best to avoid puddles that were forming on the floor from melting snow.

  “It looks like a branch from that tree over there broke off and fell,” he said. Jenn squinted to where Danny was describing. She could just barely make it out. The storm was even rougher now, and the snow was coming down at a monstrous pace. Visibility was low, and almost everything was just a snowy white color. If it got any worse, Jenn wouldn’t be able to make it back home. She looked at Danny, and the look on his face revealed he must have been thinking the same thing.

  “It is getting pretty treacherous out there,” he said. As if on cue, a strong gust of wind began to howl.

  “Do you mind if I use your phone?” Jenn asked.

  Cellphones were practically worthless at Bear Lake except for a few pockets of coverage, so that meant betting on people being near the phone when you called. Luckily Mick MacKenzie was at home to answer. He was adamant about the current weather pattern. To him it was a blizzard. And he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He said to ask Danny to drive her home, but the way he said it meant she should order Danny to drive her
home. He barely paused for her to get a word in.

  It was settled, then.

  Danny was back on the sofa near the fire.

  “What’d your Dad say?” Danny asked, quickly trying to change the subject. He stood up and sauntered to the kitchen. It was like he was physically retreating from whatever he had been thinking about, and by getting up and moving around he could somehow outrun it.

  “He doesn’t want me to walk home in this,” Jenn motioned outside with her hand. “Do you think you could give me a ride?” Jenn asked.

  “Sure thing. I’ll make this tea to-go,” Danny said. “Just a sec.”

  Danny went to the kitchen to get a travel mug and dumped the remainder of his tea into it.

  “Let’s roll,” he said.

  Outside the snow was coming down in buckets. Jenn could barely see anything. She was glad she wasn’t the one who had to drive. She walked over to Danny’s car, an old Subaru wagon. Danny unlocked the car and Jenn climbed in.

  “Do you mind holding this?” he asked, holding out his mug before he climbed into the car.

  How could someone have such friendly eyes? Jenn thought.

  She could feel the steam from the tea pass through the opening in the mug and rising past her cheeks.

  “You sure do drink a lot of tea for a mountain man,” Jenn said, clasping the mug from him. She accidentally grazed his fingers, and instantly hoped he didn’t feel her hands on him. For a moment she thought about his hands, how good they would feel on her, falling down her back like the water from the shower had. Jenn told herself to get a grip.

  “You can blame my mom for that,” Danny said as he slid into the driver’s seat. “She would have the kettle on morning, noon, and night when I was growing up.”

  “And you’re not worried it cramps your style?”

  “If I can handle all of the teasing I got in the army for my love of tea, I can certainly handle any other teasing about it. I’m comfortable enough in my masculinity to not let teasing about my masculinity upset me, if that is what you are getting at, Miss MacKenzie,” he said.

  “Miss MacKenzie? Wow, I must really have it a nerve, Mr. Williams,” Jenn said, surprising herself with how much she was enjoying this. “I don’t think anyone has called me Miss MacKenzie since freshman year English class.”

  “Are there not masculine tea drinkers in LA?” Danny asked. “Or is that what you like most about it?” He grinned.

  “No,” Jenn said, growing serious. “For the record: My favorite part of LA is the ocean.” Jenn paused, unsure if she should continue. “I worked as a waitress at this tiny little hole-in-the-wall café in Venice Beach close to the water,” she managed to blurt out. “The café was mostly a breakfast place, and it slowed down in the afternoon.”

  Now that she was on a roll, she figured she might as well keep talking.

  “I love Venice in the afternoon. People from all walks of life go there. Everyone walking by the sand, sunglasses on, and not a care in the world. Couples holding hands, people riding bikes or skateboarding or rollerblading or whatever along the concrete. But the best part is when the sun is beginning to set.”

  “And why do you love that so much?” Danny asked. Jenn thought she might be rambling at this point, but he seemed genuinely curious. So Jenn kept on.

  “Well, even though all these people, all of these different people are doing all of these different things, they are still all at the beach. They all find themselves drawn to it and want to experience in in their own way. And their experience of the sun beginning to set with the sky shifting colors slightly from blue and bright to soft and yellow to orange and warm to red and subdued to finally purple and cool. That experience is their own but they still share it with everyone there. I love that feeling that the ocean can give you.”

  Danny had straightened up in his seat. His face had softened somewhat like he was completely relaxed. His eyes, though, were focused hard on Jenn.

  “I’ve only seen the ocean once, from a plane,” he said. His voice seemed faraway and had gotten noticeably quieter. He turned his head to the fire. “I was able to see out the window. I remember thinking that from that far up it seemed like blue cornfields, not ocean. Funny, I don’t know why I compared it to cornfields in my mind…” He trailed off.

  His mood seemed to change and darken, like he was remembering something he wished he could forget. Jenn knew the feeling well enough at this point from trying to push Danny out her thoughts that she could recognize it in someone else. For a split second, Danny stared out the window, looking lost, but just as quickly he started the engine. Jenn felt herself shudder from the cold. She felt like a polar bear that had lost its warm fur.

  “I’ll take that,” Danny said, holding out his hand for his mug of tea. His right hand reached towards Jenn. She held out the mug for him, and when he clasped it, he said, “Merci.”

  Jenn couldn’t contain the laugh that erupted from her. It was a deep sound that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside of her torso. Terrified, she looked to Danny’s face, scanning it for any sign that she had done something wrong. Instead all she saw was an inquisitive grin.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, playfully.

  Jenn did her best to stifle her laughter, which at this point was a low rumble inside of her.

  “My friend in LA, she’s French. You saying merci just now made me think of her.”

  “And do you always laugh when you think about her?” Danny asked, not seriously.

  Jenn wanted to say, Yes, I always do because she is such a good friend and the person I trust most in the world.

  “She has a saying that you reminded me of just now,” Jenn said. She realized that she wasn’t nervous anymore, or at least, she had a handle on her nervousness.

  “Never trust an American man who uses French phrases to impress you,” Jenn continued. “It only leads to trouble.”

  Now it was her turn to smile at Danny. Where did this newfound confidence come from? Was Jenn flirting? More importantly, was it working?

  “And why is that?” Danny asked. His brown eyes were glittering as if they themselves were smiling. Another jolt of electricity shot up and down Jenn.

  Jenn could feel herself giggle and the corners of her mouth starting to reveal a full smile. She was slightly embarrassed she had said anything to begin with, but with every moment that passed by she felt more at ease. More sure of herself. More playful.

  “Well, my friend Dominique’s first language is French, but honestly her English is better than mine sometimes. And she likes coming close to crossing the line and loves to shock people,” Jenn said.

  “Ah, ah, ah,” Danny tutted. “No changing the subject.” He started the engine and the machine whirred to life. He held out the mug to Jenn.

  “Why does she say not to trust an American man who uses French to impress you?” Danny asked.

  Jenn bit her lower lip, not sure if she should say the real reason or to just make one up quickly. There is something so intoxicating about being with him, though. And he didn’t seem like he was making fun of her. After all, he seemed genuinely interested in what she was saying. She would tell him the real reason. There was no point in making anything up.

  “Le petite mort,” she cooed. “That is all they are interested in.”

  Danny’s forehead wrinkled and he narrowed his eyes. Jenn’s heart sank. Had she gone too far? Had she upset him? A million things buzzed through her head. Internally she started to panic. She wished she hadn’t said it, said anything at all, even. Coming here was a mistake, why did she come here.

  Danny looked like he was about to say something. Jenn gave all of her focus on what he was about to say, not sure what was going to happen next.

  “What does that mean?”

  Jenn could feel herself unknot. She relaxed. The panic slipped away. He wasn’t offended or angry. She bit her lip again, but this time she exaggerated it, hoping Danny would notice she was doing her best to rekindle the playful back
and forth. Her heart fluttered when she could see him register she was being playful. His confused face melted, replaced by his warm grin and twinkling brown eyes.

  “It’s a French saying,” Jenn heard herself say. “It means…” She paused and tried her hardest to get the right tone for what was going to come next. “The little death,” she said. Jenn felt herself blush. Danny cocked an eyebrow.

  “It means orgasm… Sex,” Jenn said, feeling her blush somehow spread from her forehead to her toes. She dared not look at Danny and pretended to be enthralled with the world outside the car window. She could hear him chuckle.

  “I know what it means, Miss MacKenzie,” he said, putting an extra emphasis on the miss. “I just wanted to see if you were brave enough to explain it. Well then, I guess I should be more careful with my French!” Danny laughed. “I don’t want to be giving you the wrong impression.” On hearing that, a little bit of Jenn panicked, because she was finally willing to admit to herself that she very much wanted him to impress her, using French and, perhaps, other things.

  Chapter 3

  By now, the falling snow had made it next to impossible to see anything more than a few feet ahead of you. She was glad she wasn’t walking home in this, and she felt an involuntary chill dance along her body at the thought of the cold outside. Danny had the car going slowly. Jenn saw on his face a mix of concentration, determination, and confidence. Normally she would be nervous as all hell driving in these conditions, but yet somehow she didn’t feel nervous. She believed he knew what he was doing.

  She was replaying his comment about knowing what la petite mort meant all along and that he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. Her mind raced. What was that supposed to mean? Was he actually flirting the whole time, or had she misread the situation? Was she looking at it the wrong way? Maybe he was just being friendly and wasn’t interest in her at all. And why did he want to see if she would actually say the word sex? They hadn’t really said anything else since then, but, then again, maybe he was just concentrating on driving instead of talking. She struggled to find something, anything, to say to break the silence.