Sierra Hearts (Part One)

by Ash Elko

  “Wow, that’s a lot of food,” Jenn said. “If all of this stuff is out, what’s cooking? What’s that delicious smell?”

  “Oh, that’s the cornbread cooling. I made some this morning. Would you like some?” Danny reached for a backing tray on the stove. “I made it earlier this morning.” He held it out for Jenn.

  “Where do you get the energy for all this!”

  “I didn’t use to like cooking or baking. When I got out of the army, I needed something to do. Something to pass the time. I wasn’t very good at first, but after a while I figured that cooking is like a putting together a puzzle or building something. You assemble all of the ingredients like little pieces. Then you create something. Recipes are like sample instruction manuals,” he said.

  Jenn took a small bite of the cornbread. It melted in her mouth.

  “Mmmhmmm. It’s great.”

  “Good. Glad you like it.” Danny put the tray back on the stove. “Ready to start chopping?”

  “Absolutely. Where should I start?” She took another look at the mountain of food.

  “Here, let me show you,” he said. He cleared some room on the counter for a cutting board. He grabbed a Brussels sprout.

  “Take the sprouts and remove the end here. Like this. Then you can put them in this pot. When you’re all done, add some water to the pot so they are just barely floating,” he said.

  “Got it.”

  Jenn watched. He seemed so comfortable in the kitchen, as if this were the natural order of things. Cooking an elaborate meal the day after a blizzard—after a car crash!—sipping drinks. There was something deeply reassuring about that. As if the world really did make sense around him, and that things were as they were supposed to be. As if Jenn by simply being here were part of that natural state of being as well.

  “When the sprouts are soft, we take them out and fry them up in a pan with some bacon and onion. We cook the bacon first so we get some of the grease in the pan and then get the onions to caramelize. It’s my favorite thing to make,” he said.

  “Oh really? Why’s that?”

  “It gives me a chance to use white pepper,” Danny said. “Just a little once everything is almost done. It is a pretty powerful taste, so you have to use just enough otherwise it is under- or overwhelming.”

  “So, we want… whelming?” Jenn asked.

  His laugh echoed in the kitchen. “Yes. We want to be whelmed.”

  A tinge of happiness hit her. It was good knowing that she could make him genuinely laugh like that. And to think, this time yesterday was probably the scariest moment in her life. Now she was cracking jokes, listening to rock music, and cooking.

  While she prepared the Brussels sprouts, Danny kept busy with peeling potatoes, chopping onions, boiling water, cooking bacon, and whatever else in a complex dance of movement. Jenn was impressed. It was refreshing to see someone take pride in what she usually thought of as a chore. She watched as he chopped some parsley. He mixed the two in a bowl and added some olive oil, salt, and pepper to make a paste. He marinated the rack of lamb with it. He did it like someone who had done this before. He passed the bottle of red wine to her.

  “Mind opening this? I’m going to add some to the lamb.”

  “Sure.” She grabbed the bottle by its neck. She was careful opening the foil and uncorking it. The cork came out with a pop sound. She handed it back to Danny, then turned to finish chopping the Brussels sprouts. Next, she put the pot under the tap to fill it with water just like he had told her. She placed it on the stove and turned on the burner.

  “OK. Now what?”

  “Now? Now we throw the lamb in the oven and wait. When it gets close to being done, we can finish up the sprouts.”

  “How long?”

  “Oh, probably around a half an hour,” Danny said.

  “In that case, I think I will have a glass of wine.” Jenn put on her best devious grin she could manage and picked up the bottle. He grinned back and offered her a glass.

  “Should we sit? Take a break from the kitchen?” He cocked his head in the direction of the living room.

  “Sure.” She followed him. It wasn’t as warm in the living room as the kitchen. She saw the stack of puzzles again.

  “Cheers,” she lifted her drink. “You must do a lot of puzzles. Is that why you compared cooking to puzzles?” She was surprised how forward she sounded, but Danny didn’t seem to mind.

  “Oh those?” He turned to the stack. “Yeah, I guess I do a lot of puzzles. I like solving them.” He paused and an uneasy silence followed.

  Jenn took a sip of her wine. “Yesterday… yesterday was scary,” she said.

  “Yes.” Jenn waited for him to say more, but it didn’t seem like he was going to.

  “How do you do it? How can you just get over something like that so quickly?”

  Danny took a long pull of his beer. He seemed lost in thought until he finally spoke.

  “You have to sometimes just react. Things can be scary or they can hurt, but you have to keep moving on otherwise you will be scared of everything or everything will hurt.” He finished his beer. “More wine?”

  “Yes, please,” she said.

  He stood up and ambled over to the kitchen. Jenn could hear the refrigerator open as Danny opened it to get another drink. Then the sound of the drawer with the bottle opener sliding open, followed up the light hiss of the bottle opening. Without thinking she was up and gliding to the source of the sound. Her body was on autopilot again. She wasn’t aware of consciously willing herself to get up and head towards Danny. He had is back to her.

  Yet another rock song was playing. Jenn didn’t recognize it.

  “I think the sprouts are soft now.” Danny turned his attention to frying the bacon and onion. “Here,” he said. “Move everything round like this with the spoon.” He gestured for Jenn to take his place.

  She couldn’t help but notice that he guided her to the stove with his hand. Not counting the time he hauled her out of the wrecked car, this was the first time he touched her. And she didn’t mind it.

  “Do you only listen to classic rock music?” she asked as she stirred. “Don’t you ever listen to anything else?” As soon as she said it, she knew it was the booze talking. No way would she have the confidence to ask such a rude question.

  He laughed. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Like, something you can dance to?” Jenn said.

  He made a fake frowning face. “Hmmm. Let me see.” He picked up an old, scratched iPod that was connected to some speakers on the counter. He stopped the song that was playing. Jenn looked at the way he held himself. Even at ease, he possessed a kind of quiet confidence, a certainty, that made him handsome. She tried to picture what he had looked like before. She could just make out how he looked, but the extra muscle and longer hair fit him so much better. It was a night and day difference. And she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have his body pressed against hers.

  “Ah ha!” Danny said, bringing Jenn back to reality. “This ought to do.” A second later, Jenn heard the opening of Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls.

  “Really?” Jenn asked. “This is what you put on?” she asked, playfully.

  Careful there, you are flirting, Jenn thought to herself.

  But goodness, did it feel good to just… what was the word? Flirt didn’t quite seem right. But it hung there in her mind, bringing with it low levels of uncertainty and doubt. What if he wasn’t flirting? What if she was reading the situation incorrectly? What if he didn’t feel the same way?

  “Care to dance?” Danny asked, obvious humor in his voice. He offered his hand to her. Jenn thought of all of the Jane Austen movies she had seen, where the dashing British gentleman, dressed formally, asked the young heroine to be his partner for a high society dance. There was a twinkle in his eye that hinted at something exciting, as if dancing were the last thing he really wanted to do. At least, Jenn hoped so. She found herself wanting him to reach o
ut to her and pull her in closely.

  “Really, Mr. Williams?” Jenn said, giggling. She didn’t know what else to do except take his hand.

  “Dancing is about just cutting loose and enjoying yourself in your body. Come on and dance with me.”

  Jenn knew she wasn’t much of a dancer, but she relented. Danny wasn’t exactly a maestro on his feet either, but his confidence buoyed her. Her whole life she had never quite figured out what exactly she was a supposed to do on the dance floor. But, somehow, this felt different. It helped that neither of them cared how they looked. He rocked his hips in a goofy way. Jenn shook her shoulders and pretended to be a go-go dancer. He did an over-the-top disco finger-pointing move that, frankly, looked ridiculous, and he knew it. She copied him. Then she did her best running man imitation, trying hard not too flail her arms too much. He copied her and did a hilarious version of the twist. They went back and forth like that, each coming up with a cheesy dance for the other to copy. They tried to top each other, with each new dance getting more and more over ludicrous. It wasn’t a competition, really, but Jenn knew she was winning. She could make a fool of herself much better than Danny could.

  As the song ended, the two came to an abrupt halt, and both were unsure what to do next. That is until the next song came on.

  “Gloria Estefan? Really Danny? Really?”

  “What? You don’t want to conga?” He came towards her and took a hold of her arms. “I feel like you are silently judging my taste in music.”

  “I most certainly am. Don’t you worry,” Jenn said.

  He led her in a dance around the kitchen. She trusted him when he guided her body to match the beat of the music. He would give her the faintest nudge in the direction where he wanted her, and she appreciated how gentle he was. He dipped her. He twirled her. She shook her hips and squeezed his hand. He floated closer to her until their two bodies collided. He sang along with the chorus, and she did, too. She belted it out like she were in the car by herself, listening to the oldies station. She felt alive. And happy. And free.

  Danny’s eyes locked with Jenn’s. He didn’t have on his normal, broad grin anymore. His features softened. His whole face relaxed, and a different smile appeared. One that was smaller but somehow seemed like a less used smile. More genuine. By the looks of it, this was a particular smile that wasn’t for just anyone. One that said, You see me, and I see you. Her senses melted and blurred into each other—touch, taste, sound, smell all jumbled together until there was only one sensation left: desire. Certain details got all mixed. Sensations came in fragments. The space between them growing smaller. Her feet on the floor. His thighs pressed against hers. Her arms around his shoulders. Arching her back to look up at him. Up was down and down was up. The room itself spun. Yet, here, in the center were the two of them holding each other through the chaos. None of it mattered as long as they held on. Confident. Gentle. She wished she could pull him closer and closer, to dive into him. She was on a precipice ready to jump. She wanted him, badly. She couldn’t contain herself. He was close to her now. His hands were on her. She wanted more. She wrapped her arms tighter around him. A new, stronger wave of desire hit her.

  “Danny…” Jenn began but the world came crashing around her. The timer for the lamb went off. Both of them stopped dancing.

  “Sounds like dinner is almost ready,” He let go of her hand. He turned to the stove and turned everything off. She was paralyzed. She stood there, frozen, watching Danny with his back to her. Then he turned. And walked straight up to her. Determined. Confident. Sexy. Pushing his way up to her. Reaching out for her. He kissed her. She kissed him back. She felt his arm reach out to her, slipping across her back, and pulling her closer. She yearned for him now. Her mind raced. Jenn could hear her heartbeat in her ears. What a kiss! For a second she thought it was a dream or a cliché that a kiss could be that good, but his lips were so soft and full that she allowed herself to enjoy it. Here she was, enjoying having a handsome man caress and tease her body. It was exhilarating! But just as quickly and unexpectedly as it had started, it halted. Time restarted. A pang of doubt again. Was this it? Was it over? Jenn felt him gently pull his head back. She saw his features relax. She wasn’t sure a face could look much happier than Danny’s right now.

  “Danny, I…” Jenn started. She searched for the words to explain how she felt. A whirlwind of feelings swept through her. She felt overwhelmed.

  “I… I was hurt recently. Bad,” she said.

  He smiled. For some reason, his smile comforted her.

  “It’s OK.” He touched her cheek, his thumb caressing her face. Just feeling his hand on her body relaxed her. “I just want you for your body.”

  Jenn didn’t have time to laugh before he kissed her again. She ran her fingers through his hair.

  She pushed the feelings of doubt and anxiety away. She focused on the present. On Danny. On the way his lips pressed against hers. On the weight of her arms wrapped around his neck. To be this close to another person. To have him hold her.

  But at the same time, a nervousness fluttered through her. As excited as she was, she was also cautious. She wondered if he was out of her league. If she were good enough for him. What exactly did he want from her? Did she even know? And if she did, could she even give it to him? What was she getting herself into? Could she trust him? Could she trust herself?

  Relax, she told herself. He saved you from a car wreck. He’s that kind of guy. There isn’t a treacherous bone in his body. He cooked for you. He danced, and made a fool of himself, with you. He obviously likes you. Stop being so hard on yourself.

  Jenn took her own advice and kissed Danny back. Her hands had a mind of their own as they pawed at the buttons on his shirt.

  “Here,” he said with a wolfish flash of his teeth. Jenn watched as he undid one button, then another, then another, and another. Each one taking a lifetime to undo. Each one hinting at his rugged body underneath still unseen. At last, he pulled it off, more and more skin finally exposed. The contours of his strong, sculpted muscles looked like something out of a dream. She saw the line of light purple bruises along his left side. And yet, they did nothing to diminish the allure of his physique. Her fingertips glided along the borders of them. It dawned on her: here he was, vulnerable and offering himself to her. He was putting himself out there, waiting for her answer.

  “Does it hurt?” she asked.

  “No,” he said. “It looks worse than it feels.” She kissed them tenderly, leaving a trail up his side. He’s so strong, she thought. He pulled in to kiss her. Jenn felt him lift up her the edges of her shirt. She raised her hands above her head, practically begging him to rip it off her, now. She was ready. There were no more doubts. No more anxiety. No more nervousness. She gave him his answer by pressing her naked torso against his. Feeling his skin against hers sent a rush through her. She felt herself come more and more alive with every touch. They peeled off the rest of their clothes, neither of them shy any longer. He picked her up as if she were nothing, and she slid her legs around his waist. They kissed again. Jenn let Danny’s tongue find hers. She could feel how hard he was. He gave her a playful spank on her ass.

  “Harder,” Jenn said, looking him in the eye. He spanked her again. This time she felt the shock ripple through her and let out a small gasp. He set her down on the couch.

  “Do you have a condom?” There was no going back now. She wanted him, wanted him so badly. She was so wet. She marveled at the sight of his naked body. Even bruised, his chiseled muscles were something to behold. The sight of his cock, so big and so hard, excited her in a way she didn’t think possible until that moment.

  “Yes,” he said. He straightened and stood up. Jenn drank in the sight of his body. She followed him with her eyes. She watched him open the condom and slip it on. It was obvious how turned on he was.

  “Come here,” she pointed her finger to him and then curled it towards her, doing her best to be alluring. He smiled and climbed back on top of
her. He kissed her neck softly.

  “I want you,” she whispered. She pressed her hips against him, urging him, pleading with him.

  “Not yet,” he whispered back. He continued to tease her with his kisses.

  “Oh, please. Please,” she moaned. “Fuck me.” Every fiber of her being wanted him. She couldn’t stand it much longer. He lowered himself. She gasped. She felt him. She felt the head of his cock slowly, slowly, entering her. Filling her.

  “Oh, yes!” she moaned. She willed herself to embrace him, to push herself to take as much as she could. He was gentle. He didn’t rush. There was no need. She arched her back to bring herself closer to him. A wave began to build inside of her. She saw the look in his eyes. She had never seen anything like it. It was focused. Intense. Resolute. His whole attention was on her, on being with her. He was desire made real. Desire for her. She felt the wave inside of her grow larger. She rocked into him. Harder, faster. He let out his own moan of pleasure. She rocked harder.

  “You like that?” she said.

  “Oh yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes.” She felt his body tense and that sent her over the edge. The wave inside of her crested. She came. It was so hard it shook her from her head to her toes. He was fucking her so hard and so fast she could barely keep up. She knew he was close. His body tensed, and his breathing changed. He rocked is body into her even harder. And then came the moment of release. He let out a long, low moan. She felt Danny’s whole body relax. He collapsed onto her, and she pulled him in close. She couldn’t help herself from giggling, but she heard him chuckle, too, so she didn’t stop herself. She let herself be happy.

  “That was hot,” Jenn said.

  “Indeed,” Danny said.

  “Indeed? Of all the ways to describe it, you use indeed?”

  “Well, you already used hot. I had to come up with another word.”

  “You’re making my eyes roll so hard I might injure myself.”

  “Easy there, I’m not done using your body yet.” Danny said.

  “Oh, oh, ow, ow. There it is. I just injured my eyes. Massive eye roll damage.”