His True Home: Cole and Byron

by M J Giani

  “Oh, my God!” Cole shouted to the walls, the tips of his toes clenched tightly.

  “Oh...” Byron groaned continuously. When he felt his breathing going back to normal, he laughed and said the silliest thing in the world.

  “Not God, just call me Byron.” Cole laughed and soon after that, he fell asleep. It wasn’t wise to sleep, as he had to go downstairs as quickly as possible, but his eyes didn’t seem to care.

  ***

  He woke up when he got a pat on the back.

  “Come on, sleepyhead, we have to go downstairs”. Byron called him. His smile was faint, as a man who had received his dose of daily pleasure – which had just happened. Cole had never imagined that this kind of sex existed. His lover was sexy, dirty and uninhibited, and Cole was hooked on it.

  “All right” he said, rubbing his eyes. He looked around and saw his clothes crumpled in a corner. He didn’t want to put them back on, but he had no choice.

  “Can you give me my clothes?” He asked, pointing to where the clothes on the floor.

  “Well, if I helped getting you undressed, I think I will help you dress again!” Cole laughed. This man simply did not exist. When they reached the bottom floor, Cole remembered something.

  “What are you doing here, anyway? Did you follow me?” Cole asked Byron.

  “Follow you? What do you mean?” He looked confused” And what about you? How do you know Robert? He was up there, wasn’t he?” Something wasn’t right. Cole took Byron to a corner, trying to understand how and why he was there. They needed to talk. Cole needed to know where this was heading, when they would meet again and what his intentions were.

  “Ladies and Gentlemen, my wife and I...” Cole looked at the back of the room, where his father was standing next to his stepmother. Walter looked around and called his stepdaughter with the microphone in his hand.

  “Come on, tell me... “Cole grabbed Byron's arm, but he didn’t move. Confused, Cole saw that his gaze was fixed on the makeshift stage, where Anna was.

  “Ah, Byron! Come here, my boy!” Walter called Byron when he spotted him. Byron looked apologetically at Cole, in his eyes an apology.

  “Oh, Cole!” It was all he said, mournfully, before moving away from the hand that was still holding his arm and went to his father’s place right next to Anna, who happily grabbed his arm.

  “My family and I would like to announce the engagement of our daughter Anna with the young man who has won all our hearts, Byron Cameron Winters!” Applause was heard all over the room, and his brothers were happy to congratulate the bride and groom, wich were followed by the guests.

  Cole had heard about the feeling you get when you have a car coming towards you, but you couldn’t walk away from it, even if a voice kepy yelling in the back of your mind: "Flee!" but you become paralyzed, with cold sweats and an upset stomach and feeling like throwing up. That was how Cole was feeling at that moment.

  Byron and Anna.

  His Byron.

  Wait, not his, Anna’s. His Byron was actually Anna’s Byron.

  Oh, my God! Cole felt the air leaving his body. Who was it that punched him in the stomach? He had slept with his groom's sister twice! When darkness came, Cole was delighted.

  A lot.

  ***

  On the next day, Cole tried to talk to Byron, but his father always called him to ask about some unimportant matter, which he could’ve easily asked one of his employees.

  The previous day, Cole lost conscience: the stress of college, meeting Byron, and then the announcement of Byron’s engaement had been the final drop of a very busy week. He was taken to his room, and in the midst of the hubbub, Byron learned that Cole was Walter’s son, and since then, he had avoided him like the plague. After all, he wasn’t as perfect as he had thought, but an idiot who was cheating on his bride. However, Cole needed to talk to his lover without fail – and maybe even punch him in the face, for all the suffering he had caused him.

  When it was almost dinner time, Cole tried talking to Byron once again, but his father called him, asking for a full report of his grades. Even when the answer was that they were all way above average, his father never seemed impressed: he just looked at the cards he had on his desk and answered with the occasional "Yes, Yes". Cole didn’t understand his father’s sudden interest on him. He just wanted to get out quickly, so he could find his lover.

  “You got drunk yesterday, right? Your brother told me you threw up, and then we had to watch your little show. It was a shame, even for you!” Mr. Walter was furious: after the scandal that Cole had caused, his friend Jonathan had inquired about his godson, worried about his health, and he wasn’t able to talk about a possible seat on the Supreme Court. Could it be possible that his child kept causing more havoc in his life?

  Cole looked over his father's head to look at the clock and saw that his chance to talk to Byron was gone, as there were only ten seconds left before it was seven-thirty, and his father was very timely in relation to timings, even on holidays.

  “I felt ill, I must have eaten something that made me really sick and faint right at the peak of the party. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t drink in excess. My grades show that I have studied and haven’t gone partying, like you think I do.” Cole said, pointing to the table where his Harvard reports were – the same reports he didn’t even glance at.

  “You are insolent!” Walter slapped his hand on the table, not admit that that faggot was talking to him like that. “Do you think...” As if helping Cole out, they heard a knock on the door and Teresa, the servant, walked into the room – after Sir Walter’s permission, of course – to announce that dinner was served. Happy, Cole stood up to leave the room.

  “Excuse me.” He said, not in the slightest mood to listen to his father's accusations. Also, he had to find a way to talk to Byron.

  ***

  Dinner was a trial for Byron: Anna kept throwing glances at him and he didn’t know where to look. He looked sideways at Cole, but he kept angrily looking head-on.

  In twenty-seven years, Byron had never done something like that before. He was Anna's boyfriend, but he had never felt for her what he felt for Cole. When they first met, Anna seemed intelligent, fun and, of course, she was beautiful. His friend and SEAL’s comrade, Scott, had introduced them and encouraged the courtship, and though Byron wasn’t very interested at first, he started dating her. She didn’t want a lot of sex, which was great for him, because Byron always felt a little asexual. He had little libido, which he thought it was normal, since he lived in constant threat, due to the stress of his job. When Anna said she would like to get married, he accepted immediately: they had been together for almost a year, then, and he had never been interested in anybody else. He was ashamed to admit it, but it was easy for him, he wasn’t bothered with the marriage at all– in fact, it was perfect for him! After her parent’s blessing, he proposed.

  But when he saw that Elf, lost in the middle of nowhere, with his beautiful face and his dry humor, Byron saw that there hadn’t been any problem of lack of sexual desire. With the right person next to him, his libido had dramatically increased. The problem was that Byron wasn’t gay. He had never been interested in any man, nor had he found any interesting man. After all, he spent his life with men, dressed and naked in the army, if he were gay he would know. However, once he had the taste of Cole’s body, Byron doubted that would want someone else as much in his lifetime, even now: Anna was looking at him, eating with her pink mouth and delicate fingers, but his cock simply wouldn’t get up, he felt nothing.

  Everybody around him was happy, laughing and talking as if they were in a Brazilian soap opera, and no one noticed the intense looks he was throwing to the other end of the table. Byron wondered what the others would do if he pushed Cole to the floor and fucked Cole right there, at that table, in front of everybody...Only Cole wasn’t looking happy or hungry, but more and more rejected. Byron knew he would have to talk to him and explain what happened. He looked ba
ck at Anna, and he knew he had to choose, but did he really have a choice? It seemed that his heart already knew what he wanted.

  When that hell of a dinner was finally over, Byron went to the balcony to think. He really felt like smoking – he had quit several years ago, but the habit of just going out after dinner still remained.

  “May I?” He heard Cole’s voice. Byron turned around and he saw him at the entrance to the terrace. He could see anger, but also sadness in the young man's eyes. Faced with the hurt that Byron had obviously caused him, Cole looked away and watched the massive garden ahead of him.

  “What’s going on, Byron? I don’t understand.” His voice sounded defeated. “You’re engaged, and better yet, with my sister!” Cole exclaimed. “What was I? The fun bachelor party, before the big act?”

  “What?” Byron asked, feeling offended, though he knew he had no right to be. “I didn’t know Anna was your sister. I met your other brothers and sisters, but I never knew there was another brother. She never mentioned you”.

  “And that makes things right, huh? Anna’s mother married my father, she was already born from another marriage. We’re not close, so maybe that’s why she never told me anything.” Byron cringed at Cole's words. “You should have told me.” He was right, nothing justified what he did.

  “I know!” He sighed in frustation. “I should’ve told you the truth, but when I met you...I...” Feeling frustrated, he sighed. “I didn’t recognize myself anymore.”

  “Is that your excuse? Do you really think you can do whatever you like and then just leave? I would like to see what Anna thinks of your affair.” He turned around towards the house and Byron was surprised at that.

  “Where are you going?” He said, grabbing Cole's arm to prevent him from leaving “There’s no way you’re going to talk to her.” In pain, Cole looked away. After all the fun they had together, Byron was a man who was about to tie the knot, the fool. And what a fool he was, to think that there was still hope.

  “You have to understand, I'm not like that.”

  “What? Gay?”

  “Shhh, don’t be so loud!” Byron begged him, grabbing Cole's arm. “You have to give me more time, I don’t even know what to think about this anymore. Contrary to what you think, this has never happened to me. Never.

  “Oh, really? Now, I don’t understand anything at all.” Cole was getting more and more confused, and only the possibility that his feeling was reciprocated was hovering around, lingering in the air.

  “I had never felt this desire like I’ve felt for you. It has never been so...so...” Byron ran his hand through his hair, feeling at a loss for words.

  “So, what happens now? And what about these excuses you’re giving me?” Byron said nothing.

  “Speak!” Cole shouted, feeling even more stressed out. He knew he shouldn’t have paid attention to a heterosexual man, it never ended well – a cliché, that's what he was.

  “I don’t know what's happening. I'm confused. I don’t know...I simply don’t know.” Byron rubbed his face. “What I do know is that I don’t want what we have to end, but you have to give me time to talk to your sister.” For Cole, that was more than he could bear. He felt the fury abandoning him and tears started falling down his face.

  “I don’t know if I should keep this going, you're going to make me suffer. I don’t want to be the other guy! I don’t like Anna, but I would never do that to anyone.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry for putting you in this position. Let me talk to her, and then we’ll see how it goes, but please, give me time. Please.”

  “You have until tomorrow, and after that, I'm gone. If you decide to stay with Anna, I don’t want to see you anymore. Ever.” Upset with the ultimatum he had just been given, Byron turned his back and left. Thinking he was alone, Cole let the tears fall freely down his face.

  “I see you keep perverting men around you!” Cole heard his father’s cold voice behind him. Cole turned around and looked at him, and he could see the anger in his eyes.

  “This is not what it looks like...” Cole started.

  “Oh, no, it’s way more than that. That guy isn’t gay, he is engaged to your sister, but you don’t care. After all, you did exatactly the same with Mike.”

  “No, it's not the same thing. Mike made me ill, but you’ve never believed me or defended me.”

  “What I saw was nothing like the story you’re telling me. I should have punished you then, because perhaps this has become more serious now.”

  “Please! I'm normal, I'm just different from you, that’s what we all are, each one of us. Even you, father, you’re different from everybody else.

  “What do you meant? Are you calling me a freak? Are you disrespecting me in my own house?”

  “No, father, that was not what I meant, I...”

  “I'll give you the lesson you deserve.”

  “I am no longer a child, and you can’t punish me like you used to.”

  “I can perfectly cut your financial aid.” His father threatened him “I’d like to see to see how you'd make it in such an expensive and exclusive college without my money.”

  “You can keep it. Honestly, I don’t want anything from you. I’ll never have what I truly wanted, and now it’s the time for me to stop struggling.” Not holding himself any longer, Walter raised his hand to hit Cole, but he raised his arm and defended himself from the blow.

  “Not anymore. There will be no more punishments, because you simply can’t look at me and love me for who I am: your son. I'll talk to Anna and apologize, even though I don’t want to suffer anymore.”

  “You won’t say anything!” His father shouted. His father grimaced in disgust and grabbed Cole’s arm, pushing him back. Cole saw that look that his father’s face, and not only did he realize that his father hated him, but he also felt something more intense than that: he loathed him. But Cole was tired of trying to figure him out, so he turned around and left, going straight to his room to pack his things. He would have to call from Byron’s hotel – that’s what he called it –so that he could clarify things with Anna. He would like to talk to her and apologize in person, but the situation with his father made it impossible. He wondered if the best option would be not even getting what he had with Byron, but the truth was that he was a man who was in love, and he didn’t know if he would be able to get away from him – not if there was the slightest possibility of them getting back together.

  If he asked one of his father's employees, he was sure that one of them would give him a ride to the city, where he had left his car – all he had to do was to walk to the employees’ area. Feeling simoultaneously determined, euphoric and fearful, he lifted his chin. For the first time in his life, he would have to thrive without his father’s help, but for the first time in his life, he also felt free.

  ***

  Walter still writhed with anger at the boy’s touch, and the fact that he couldn’t intimidate him like he did when he was younger. Getting angrier and angrier, he kicked the vase that was on the porch. John was walking towards the balcony to have a smoke, when he heard the noise. He was coming upstairs, when he found his father, realizing that he was quite upset.

  “What’s up? Is it damaged?” John asked, looking at the broken vase on the floor. John knew he wasn’t as smart as his brothers – what the hell, even Kate was smarter than him! – but it didn’t take a genius to know that his father must’ve been upset with Cole, since only that idiot could affect Walter like that. He knew that John would do anything for him – even what he had in mind – and unscrupulous as he was, he took advantage of it, in order to teach Cole a lesson that Walter was sure he wouldn’t forget so soon. Feeling confident, he asked his son to sit down, and told him his plan.

  ***

  Cole had to stay in town that night, because his car would only be ready the next day. He heard the shop closing the doors behind him, and the silence that followed was a little scary. The street was empty, even though it was nine o'clock. He
started walking towards the hotel, he needed to call Byron as quickly as possible. His thoughts about Byron didn’t disappear like he thought it would, and he felt that he was in danger of losing him forever, if he didn’t call him. He started walking faster, and held his coat tighter, trying to protect himself from the cold.

  He thought about everything that happened. It seemed as if everything had happened in another life: he had been so happy, and he stupidly thought it would last forever, but it was nonsense, since there are no “happily ever afters”, as well as love at first sight. Now, he no longer had to rely on his father, but he still stood a chance for happiness with Byron. He just needed to find a way to afford the medical school’s costs, work things out with Byron and Anna, and then he would be fine. He knew that Anna would be upset and she would never speak to him again, even if they had never before, but he would rather do the best he possibly could, under the circumstances. What happened wasn’t his fault, but it would be better if they continued not to mention the fact, without excuses.

  When he saw the hotel in front of him, he sighed with relief, as he was tired of walking in this cold, when suddenly, a bag was put on his head and he was dragged. Cole couldn’t see where they were heading, but he felt a wall behind his back when he was pushed hard against it, sliding to the floor. Several people started kicking him –or so it seemed, judging by the different positions of the blows. When Cole felt hands trying to reach the zipper of his jeans, he started feeling afraid and screamed for help.

  “No one can hear you, sissy!” a muffled voice said. Cole didn’t recognize the voice, while panic and pain made his blood circulate more quickly, making it hard to pay attention. The pain made his breathing harder, and he no longer had a coherent thought in his mind. He wanted to scream, while wanting to beg at the same time, unaware that he was already doing that.