Luckiest Bastard (Bastard #1.5)

by J. L. Perry

  Luckiest Bastard

  J. L. Perry

  Luckiest Bastard

  J. L. Perry

  BOOKS BY J. L. PERRY

  Destiny Series

  My Destiny – Book 1

  My Forever – Book 2

  Damaged – Jacinta’s Story – Book 3

  Against All Odds – Angel’s Story – Book 4

  Standalone Reads

  Bastard

  Luckiest Bastard (Novella)

  Hooker (Coming soon)

  Jax (Coming soon)

  Nineteen Letters (Coming soon)

  A note from the author

  Warning: this book contains sexual content, coarse language and some violence. It is recommended for persons over the age of 18.

  This novella is dedicated to my readers.

  You asked for more Carter, so here he is …

  Table of Contents

  Luckiest Bastard

  Bonus story: First White Christmas

  A sneak peek of Hooker

  A sneak peek of Bastard

  Chapter One

  Two years later …

  Carter

  The past two years I’ve spent with my soulmate, and my boys … my family … no words. Indiana is the most amazing wife and mother any man could ask for. She’s my best friend, my world, my absolute everything.

  Then there’s my two sons, Jaxson and Levi. They are, without a doubt, the most miraculous gift. Being a father is fucking incredible. I love my boys … my family, so hard.

  My life was perfect. I was in a state of complete bliss. To be honest, it almost felt too good to be true. Sure we’d had more than our fair share of shit in the beginning, and if anyone deserved a break, it was us. That thought still didn’t seem to stop the foreboding that churned deep within me.

  There was heartache looming around the corner, I could feel it. I worried for my wife. I guess that’s natural considering everything we went through with the tumour. Even though all her tests continue to come back negative, it’s something that will always be in the back of my mind. They were scary times.

  Then something happened six weeks ago. All those inner fears I’d been fighting the past few months, came to a head. My worst nightmare. I was right about Indiana, but it had nothing to do with her cancer. We had a totally different fight on our hands.

  It brought me to my fucking knees …

  •

  Four weeks before Indi was due to give birth to our daughter, Eve, is a day I won’t forget in a hurry. We named her after my grandmother, Evelyn. Like the other two pregnancies, everything was going great, until suddenly it wasn’t.

  The moment Indiana came into my shop in the middle of the day to say things didn’t feel right with the baby, I panicked. “Something’s up, but I’m not sure what,” were her exact words. In my heart I knew she was right—it was those damn feelings I’d been having. Thankfully, I was already on edge, so I didn’t hesitate in getting her to the hospital.

  Luckily, the boys were with our parents. They ended up moving to Newcastle a year ago. We used to try and get to Sydney as much as possible to visit, but for them the occasional trips weren’t enough. They felt like they were missing out on seeing Jaxson and Levi growing up, and all their milestones, so they sold up and moved here. My grandma joined them a few months later. She sold her unit and moved in with my parents.

  They now look after the boys during the day while Indi and I are at work. It’s a win-win for all of us, I guess.

  After arriving at the hospital, the nurse hooked Indi up to the monitors straight away. That’s when we were informed the baby was in distress. I can’t tell you what hearing those words did to me. They almost sent me over the edge. Little did I know, what was to come would be far worse. It was something I know will stick with me for the rest of my days.

  I’m not sure I’ll ever completely get over the desperation and utter helplessness I felt in the hours that followed.

  The doctor performed an ultrasound immediately, and found the umbilical cord was wrapped around Eve’s neck. Commence operation meltdown. The birth of both our boys had gone so smoothly—I was in no way prepared for this.

  I watched on in horror as my wife was rushed into surgery, and my idyllic world, the one I simultaneously lived, loved and feared, started to crumble around me.

  “Everything’s going to be okay, baby,” I whispered against her lips. I’m not sure if I was trying to convince her, or myself. “I love you … I love you both,” my voice cracked as I spoke. No matter how I was feeling inside, I needed to try and keep it together for Indi. My hand instinctively moved to her stomach as I said a silent prayer for Eve … and for my wife. All the time I was thinking, this can’t be fucking happening.

  The look of desperation in Indi’s eyes as they wheeled her away will haunt me forever. For-fucking-ever. Both their lives were on the line here. The devastation and worry I felt for my girls consumed me.

  The nurse guided me to a room where I could sit and await my fate. There would be no damn sitting. Just a lot of pacing. I was numb. I was devastated. I was on the verge of losing it. I’d never felt so completely helpless in my life.

  I’m not sure how long I was alone in there, but eventually Ross turned up. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see him. My mum stayed home with the boys. As much as I wanted them with me, this was no place for them right now.

  “Dad,” I murmured when he walked through the door. I needed him. I couldn’t face this shit on my own. Not when it came to something as serious as this—my wife … my child. When he pulled me into his arms, I clung to him as though my life depended on it. I needed to draw from some of his strength, because the truth was, I was a fucking mess. The possibility of losing either one of them was unfathomable.

  “Any news?” he asked.

  I shook my head in reply. Stringing two words together, in that moment, was impossible.

  I’m not sure how long we stayed in that room, but it seemed like a damn eternity. Eventually we were put out of our misery when the doctor finally came in to talk with us. The pure relief I felt when I was told both Indi and Eve had survived, and were doing well under the circumstances, was indescribable. Thank-fucking-Christ.

  Unfortunately, we weren’t out of the woods yet. Eve was born four weeks premature. She was immediately admitted into the neonatal unit. The nurse led me in to see Indi first. She was understandably upset. She was still in recovery after the emergency caesarean. Indi urged me to leave her to be with our daughter. She hated how she was on her own. To be honest, so did I.

  I didn’t like the idea of Indi being alone either, so I was grateful Ross stayed with his daughter while I was taken to see mine. Indiana was just as worried and upset about our little girl as I was.

  Nothing has changed between us over the years. I still craved her comfort in that moment, just as much as she did mine. Together, we were unstoppable. She will always be my strength … my rock … my air.

  I’ll admit, when I saw how tiny Eve was, I broke down. She was beautiful, but nothing like the healthy, chubby boys Indi had given birth to in the past. I felt an instant love for her nevertheless. If not more so for the predicament she was now facing. She looked so fragile. It tore at my heart. Seeing her like this set off a fiery protectiveness inside me for some reason. In that moment, I knew I was a goner. Like her mum, I’d never be able to deny her anything.

  Nothing was ever going to happen to my little princess while she was on my watch. That you could be sure of.

  I slid my hand through the openin
g in the humidicrib, gently placing my finger against the palm of her tiny hand. I needed some contact with her. Anything. I needed her to know she wasn’t alone. When her little fingers clenched around mine, tears clouded my eyes while love and admiration surged in my heart. She was a fighter like her mum. She was going to be okay. She just had to be.

  “Daddy’s here, baby girl. Everything’s going to be alright,” I whispered in a reassuring voice. “I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

  Chapter Two

  Carter

  For the next few weeks, that was our life. One of us was always by Eve’s side. Indi did the days, and then would go home to be with the boys. I did the night shift. Neither of us wanted our little girl to ever feel alone. Fuck I missed sleeping next to my wife though. We’d never spent so much time apart. I was definitely having withdrawals.

  Indiana would breastfeed Eve during the day, and express the milk into bottles for me to give her at night. We were lucky she was only four weeks premature; if she could get through the next few weeks, there was a minimal chance of any complications in the future. The main concern was her lungs and her weight. The nurse informed me it’s in the last month of pregnancy that a baby’s lungs fully form, and they gain their body fat. That explained why she was so tiny when I first saw her.

  I was exhausted, but like Indi, I was prepared to do whatever it took to see our daughter get through this. I missed my boys, my wife, LJ and the life we had before the unfortunate circumstances we now faced, but she was here, and like her mum, she was a survivor. I took great comfort in that.

  Indi and I would only get to see each other for half an hour or so during our shift changeovers, but we both knew as parents it was a short-term sacrifice we needed to make. Our little girl was worth it.

  Eve was getting stronger with every passing day. It was now only a matter of time before we could take her home and get back everything we once had. A carefree happy life.

  She was gaining weight daily, but she was still tiny. The boys are tall for their age. I can tell they’re going to have the same build as me when they’re older. Jaxson looks a lot like Indi, whereas Levi is the spitting image of me.

  Eve, however, is the complete opposite. She’s going to be small and petite, just like Indiana. I know it. She even has her mum’s cute little button nose and full lips. She’s going to have me wrapped around her little finger just like Indiana does. I’ll be putty in her hands … I’m afraid I already am.

  •

  Two weeks later we got to bring her home from the hospital. It was a great day for the Reynolds family. My girl was healthy and exactly where she needed to be— with us. I was back in my home … my castle, with my wife, my three beautiful children, and of course LJ.

  Jaxson and Levi adore their baby sister. Between the three of us boys, I know she’ll always be safe. That thought gives me a tremendous amount of comfort for some reason.

  Fuck me. Eve was only two weeks old and I was already worrying about shit like that.

  I should’ve been more than content with the five of us finally being together, but surprisingly I still had a dark cloud looming over me. It was this whole thing with Eve and the trauma surrounding her birth, I’m sure of it.

  I guess I was still spooked.

  •

  Indiana

  After lifting the covers back, Carter’s arms instinctively reach out, pulling me into his loving, protective embrace. God I missed him while we were apart. The last two weeks have been hell. With everything going on with Eve, being separated from Carter was the worst. He’s my happy place, my calm after the storm, my sanctuary. I’ve been struggling without him here.

  He spent his days at work while I was at the hospital with our daughter, and the nights with Eve. I know it was hard for him being away from us, but he insisted that I be home with the boys at night, and in a real bed where I could get a good night’s sleep. Without him beside me though, that was impossible.

  I love how he stepped up, like always. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for me … for our kids. We’re lucky to have him.

  “I’ve missed this,” I whisper, resting my face on his chest as I snuggle into his side.

  “Me too, baby. Me too,” is all he says as his arms tighten around me, drawing me even closer. When he kisses the top of my head, I lift my face to look at him. I need more than that, I need him. I know it’s only been two weeks since I gave birth to Eve, so we can’t go all the way, but I need some kind of connection with him. Anything. A kiss on the top of the head just won’t cut it.

  He groans into my mouth when I place my lips over his. I love him so much. After all this time my feelings for him haven’t lessened at all. If anything they’ve only grown stronger. The troubled teen I met all those years ago, is no more.

  A distant memory.

  Carter, the man, is confident and comfortable within his own skin. He now knows he is worthy, because he is. He always has been. He’s proven himself over and over. He’s not only a great man, he’s a perfect husband, and a phenomenal father. I love seeing him with the kids. He’s so hands-on, and the love he has for them just radiates off him. It’s safe to say, like me, the boys adore him too.

  It doesn’t take long for our kiss to heat up. We still can’t seem to get enough of each other. I don’t think the bond we have will ever dwindle. It’s a love like no other; strong and unbreakable, just like us.

  My fingers skim over Carter’s naked, defined torso. His body is still as beautiful as ever. Utter perfection would be the best way to describe him. Sliding my hand down the front of his pyjama bottoms, I grasp his hard, impressive length in my hand. What I wouldn’t give for him to be inside me right now. We both struggled immensely with the abstaining for six weeks after the birth of our boys. This time will be no different.

  Carter marked a calendar for my previous two pregnancies, crossing off each day as it passed. The second that six-week time period lapsed, he was on me like a dog on heat.

  The more we make out, the more I want him, crave him. I start to work him over with my hand when I feel his body stiffen. “Don’t baby,” he suddenly mumbles against my lips as his hand covers mine, stilling me. What? I immediately pull out of the kiss and raise my head to make eye contact with him.

  “Why did you stop me?” I ask, both shock and hurt lining my voice. He’s never done anything like this before. Only when I was sick, but I’m not sick anymore. He doesn’t answer me, but I see something in his eyes. I’m not sure what it is, but it instantly worries me. “Carter,” I plead as I await his reply. Still nothing. There’s no way I’m letting this go. I want to know what the hell is going on.

  “Can we just go to sleep?” he eventually replies with a sigh. “It’s been weeks since I’ve slept in a real bed.”

  I suppose that’s true. He spent the last two weeks sleeping on a reclining sofa at the hospital whilst caring for Eve, but I have a sinking feeling there’s more to this. I continue to stare at him as I wait for him to elaborate, but he never does. Instead, he pulls my hand out of his pyjama bottoms, and places it on his chest before closing his eyes. “Goodnight,” he whispers.

  What the ever-loving fuck? I go from turned on to pissed off in less than a second. He’s damn lucky my hand is no longer clamped around his manhood, that’s all I can say.

  Chapter Three

  Carter

  I feel like a total prick when Indiana rolls over in a huff and exhales an exasperated breath. I can’t even explain what just happened, because the truth is, I have no fucking clue. All I know is the minute she latched onto my cock and started to stroke me, sheer panic ran through me. Maybe it’s because of the guilt at what I’ve gone and done behind her back. I’m pretty sure that’s what it is. I’ve fucked up. In my heart I know it.

  Before all the dramas surrounding Eve’s birth, I wanted a heap of kids. A whole football tea
m. Not anymore. Not now that I know the risks that can come with it. I don’t want my wife, my child, or myself, to ever go through anything like that again. I can’t risk it. I just can’t. I wouldn’t survive it.

  What worries me the most though, is losing Indiana. They say things come in waves of three. I nearly lost her to the tumour, then again giving birth to Eve. The logical side of me needed to do something to eliminate that number three. I’m not sure if I could go on without her. She’s my air.

  Rolling onto my side, I pull her body against mine. Her back is now flush with my front. “I love you,” is all I say as I place a kiss on her hair. She doesn’t answer or snuggle in closer like she usually does, so I tighten my grip. I hate how I’ve upset her. Hurting her is the last thing I ever want to do.

  She has every right to be angry with me, even more so when I finally pluck up the courage to confess what I’ve done. My only hope is that she can forgive me for not discussing it with her first. Truth is, I couldn’t. Once I made up my mind, I had to go through with my plans. I couldn’t give her the opportunity to talk me out of it, because she probably would have.

  “I love you, too,” she finally replies, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

  Please let her understand the reasons behind the choices I’ve made.

  •

  Indiana

  As the next few weeks pass, I notice Carter withdraw further and further into himself. He tries to hide it, but I know him better than he thinks. Something is going on inside that gorgeous head of his, and I need to find out what.

  He puts on a smile and goes about life as normal, but when he doesn’t realise I’m watching him, I can see the torment on his face. It breaks my heart. We need to sit down and have a good talk, but things have been crazy around here. Trying to look after a newborn and two active boys, as well as overseeing things at the veterinarian clinic, is hard work. I’m exhausted.