Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  He turned to her. “Pack your shit. Yall aint staying in this bitch ass nigga’s shit.”

  Ryan’s body was moving before her brain could tell her so. She scurried to the closet, grabbed the Louie luggage, and began throwing her clothes inside. When Desmond had the look he’d just given her she knew that she had better do what he said. She valued her life too much not to.

  Jacob struggled to his feet, while holding his mouth. “Nigga, do you know who I am? You dead!”

  By this time Desmond’s gun was in hand again. He cocked it back and aimed. “Do it look like I give a fuck?” he turned to Ryan. “Go grab the boys’ stuff, so that we can bounce.”

  Ryan ran into the twins’ room and packed as many clothes as she could grab. She just wanted to get out of there before shit got any uglier. Desmond had the gun pointed at Jacob and knowing him if she didn’t move fast enough and Jacob said the wrong thing it would be over.

  “Okay, I got our stuff. Let’s go.” Ryan huffed as she stepped back into her bedroom.

  Jacob was still standing with his fists balled. He was kicking himself for becoming so relaxed in the lawyer world that he didn’t have a piece with him. Although, he and his brothers were in the game, their everyday lives didn’t have the same hassles as the guys still hustling on the streets. It had been a couple of years since they’d even touched the drugs they pushed into the hoods and suburbs around Houston. So, gunplay hadn’t been necessary for them in a while. Jason never slipped and would always keep a pistol on deck, but in Jacob’s life the lines had become blurry and he often walked around like he was the law abiding citizen he portrayed.

  “Baby, put the gun down.” Ryan begged.

  “Hell, naw. Go grab my keys and my jeans.”

  Ryan did as she was told. “Okay, I got it. Let’s go.”

  They backed out of the apartment until they reached the garage. “Did he pay for this bullshit ass car?”

  “Yeah.” She said just above a whisper.

  “Well, leave that bitch right here.” He demanded, as they threw all the bags into the Lexus.

  They both hopped into the SUV as she used her clicker to lift the garage’s door.

  He burnt rubber backing out.

  “Why are you driving so fast?” she asked as he sped down the street, after exiting the townhouses’ property.

  He quickly glanced over at her before focusing on the road. “Do you even know who the fuck you dealing with?”

  “Yeah, he’s a lawyer that makes pretty good money. So, what?”

  He shook his head as he chuckled. “I never thought that you’d be so simple minded. I taught you that everything aint always what it seems.”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked confused.

  “That nigga Jacob is a part of a crime family and if we had stayed around long enough he would have called his goons to handle us.”

  “His goons?” she scrounged up her face. “That man aint like that.”

  “Ryan, come on. You know me better than that. Would I go around saying shit unless it was true?”

  “Okay, so how do you know?”

  “I did my fucking homework. I never do business without knowing who I’m dealing with. Do he or do he not got a brother that’s a police officer?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded.

  “Okay, then. Them niggas used to be just like me; a hustler. But I guess they wanted to run the game on a larger scale, so they went to college. Now they are just thugs in business suits. Why do you think that he got so many hood clients? He’s cleaning their money and his money too. He helps them either go legit or at least seem legit. Still, him and his brothers are moving a nice portion of the dope that comes through Houston.”

  Ryan sat not believing her ears. All this time she’d denied herself the pleasure of being with Desmond because she wanted to get away from the life to only run into an even bigger nigga. She felt so stupid, and regretted now more than ever that she’d kept him from his kids.

  “Baby, I swear I had no clue. I know sometimes he would come across a little hood, but I thought that it was just niggas like you rubbing off on him. He had me fooled for real.”

  Desmond smirked despite himself. “You was his kept bitch.”

  “First of all, how can you call yourself kicking his ass, because he called me out of my name? But now you doing the same thing.”

  “I aint him, and you know how the fuck I meant it. You was letting that nigga come and go as he pleased, meaning that he could fuck whenever he wanted to. Just so that you could keep that ass in Gucci and Prada.”

  She frowned in disbelief. “What? Are you fucking serious? When I began working for him I was living on Antoine and Gulf Bank. You know how that shit is. I was doing what I had to do, though. I couldn’t really live with my antie because I was too scared that you’d catch me there. And besides that, I knew that my two small kids would drive everybody in the house crazy, which they did for a year. I got into it with Dana every other day, because she was complaining that my kids were too bad. So, I moved into what I could afford. I was on fucking food stamps and just trying to make it. So, when Jacob offered me something better than what I had going, hell yeah, I jumped all over that shit. I did what I had to do.”

  Silence filled the car for a few minutes.

  Finally, he spoke.

  “So, I guess that you want me to agree with the choices you made, huh? You want me to be like ‘well, my kids had to eat.’ Man, get the fuck on with that shit. I was right there. You knew how to get at me. I don’t give a fuck if you had to tell me about them over the phone and then asked me to send you money. There wasn’t one damn reason that they had to go without!” he banged his steering wheel. “What kind of backwards ass shit was you on that you would go fuck some nigga to maintain when you had a nigga willing to give you any and everything you wanted? You sound so fucking stupid to me, man. Laying up with that nigga. You had him around my kids?”

  “Desmond, I worked for the man for two and half years. He met the twins way before we ever did anything. He just recently started coming around them. They just really know him as my boss.”

  He sucked his teeth. “Yeah right, man. Which fucking way is their school?”

  “Oh, so now you mad at me?” she folded her arms.

  He cut his eyes at her. “The fuck you think?”

  “This is some bullshit. I can’t keep apologizing for having a life after we broke up. You moved on. You got a whole fucking bitch put up; I’m sure some where nice while me my kids are now fucking homeless.” She gritted.

  He smacked his lips. “Aint nobody fucking homeless, man.”

  “Whatever. Pull over some damn where so that I can change.” She fumed.

  He pulled up at a McDonald’s. She grabbed one of her bags from the backseat and found something to throw on. All she wore at the time was his t-shirt and he was just wearing boxers.

  She stepped out of the car and quickly slid in some sweats. “Man, why you doing that shit out here?” he asked her as he looked around making sure that no one saw her.

  “I aint got time to go in there.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Whatever.” He knew her all too well. She looked a hot mess and didn’t want to be in the public’s eye, so she’d change outside before walking into a crowded McDonald’s.

  “You’re not going to throw on something?” she asked as she slid back into the ride.

  He just looked at her before grabbing his jeans and awkwardly putting them on while he remained in his seat. He then grabbed a random t-shirt and pulled it over his head.

  Without saying a word he threw the Lexus into reverse and backed out of the lot.

  “How do I get to their school?” he asked again. She gave him directions then sealed her lips.

  She stared out the window pouting as he drove. Her emotions were all over the place so she didn’t know whether she was coming or going. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed her aunt’s number.

  “Hello.” Vanit
y spoke into the phone.

  “Hey, antie.”

  “Hey, baby. What’s up?”

  “I wanted to know if I could stay at your house for a little while.” She cried.

  Desmond’s head snapped on his neck. “What the fuck?”

  “What happened, baby?” Vanity questioned.

  “We aint got nowhere to g..”

  Desmond snatched the phone right out of her hand. “Hello.”

  “Hey, who is this?” Vanity questioned confused.

  “This Des, antie. Disregard everything she just said. She talking crazy.”

  “No, I’m not.” Ryan snapped.

  “Des? What’s go…when did…what the hell is going on?” Vanity rambled confused. She had no idea that Desmond and Ryan had gotten back in touch.

  “Nothing really. She’s just tripping with herself and trying to put other people in our business.”

  Vanity had to laugh for a second. This was deja’vu. When they were together they’d call her when they were arguing. She would listen to both sides and calm them down before they’d hang up.

  “Des, when did you get in touch with her?”

  “A few weeks ago.”

  “No shit?”

  “Yeah. I still got a bone to pick with you too.”

  She already knew what he was talking about. “Baby, I was just doing what my niece asked me to do. I had been against it from the beginning, but I wasn’t going to disrespect her wishes.”

  “I hear you, antie, but like I was saying, she talking crazy. I guess she’ll call you a little later.”

  “Alright, baby. Let me holla at her one last time.”

  “Here.” He handed her phone back.

  “Hello.” Ryan spoke into the phone.

  “He aint trying to fuck you up is he?” Vanity giggled.

  She cut her eyes at him. “I hope not, but I’ll call you to keep you posted.”

  “Girl, you and that nigga are so damn silly. Handle your business and call me later.”

  “Okay.” She sighed.

  “Love you, baby.”

  “I love you too.” she smiled as she hung up.

  “I see you still on that bullshit. Calling your antie like a fucking kid.” He chided.

  “Fuck you.” She turned to gaze out of the window again.

  When he pulled up to the twins’ elementary school she hopped out. He waited patiently while she checked them out early. Ten minutes later they all walked out of the building.

  “Daddy!” their eyes lit up as they saw his SUV.

  “Come on, yall.” Ryan ushered them into the backseat.

  “Hey daddy.” They both spoke as they climbed in.

  Desmond turned around. “Ay, what’s up, little soldiers?”

  “Daddy, we going to Main Event?” Demond questioned as he buckled his own seatbelt.

  “Not right now.” Desmond said as Ryan got back in. “Maybe this weekend.” He pulled off.

  Ryan allowed the twins to chat with their daddy, while she sat in silence. She had no clue as to where they were headed. Eventually, he pulled up to a large two story home. The area was very nice and posh.

  “Who stays here?” she asked as Desmond stepped out of the Lexus.

  “Just grab your shit and get out.” He told her as he opened the back door for the boys. He helped them out before grabbing their bags. He then progressed to the home. He used his key and unlocked the door.

  “Come on yall.” Ryan told the twins as she struggled with her bags. Following Desmond they stepped into the house. It was completely bare.

  “Daddy, who lives here?” Little De-De asked.

  “We do.” Desmond told his son.

  Ryan dropped her bags. “I know you aint bring me to you and that bitch’s house?”

  He sucked his teeth. “Man, think before you talk sometimes. What the fuck I look like doing some shit like that?”

  “Well, I’m just saying.” She placed her hands on her hips.

  “I been having this house for about a year. She don’t know shit about it.”

  “And why is that?” she asked with a raised brow.

  “Cause I can do that. You never tell your right hand what your left is doing. In the life I live I need a spot that only I know about.”

  “Yeah, right. You probably was doing the same shit when you was with me. This probably the spot you bring the side bitches to.”

  He waved her off. If he did have a duck off spot for the bitches it wouldn’t be that extravagant.

  “Well, I wanna know why you and your bitch aint living here. What, you got her in an even nicer house?” she asked even though she really couldn’t imagine a house too much better than the one they stood in. It was like he’d snuck inside of her dreams, stole images, and created that house. There were high ceilings, windows in the roof giving them a perfect view of the sky, a huge fireplace, hardwood floors, and oversized bay windows.

  Desmond gave her a look. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Why would you have this home, and then live somewhere else that is not nearly as nice? It just don’t make sense.”

  “Cause I got this bitch built from the ground up. This is my house and it aint got shit to do with her. I was tripping when I got this built and after it was done I couldn’t stay here.”

  “Why not?” She asked not believing him for one second. Shit, somebody would have to drag her out of that house.

  “Look around, Ryan. What do you think?” he stared at her intently.

  She thought for a second. It couldn’t be…“Because of me?” she pointed at her chest.

  “No shit.” He shook his head. “I sat down with the company that built the house; on your birthday. You had been on my mind, so when they asked me what I wanted I thought of what you said you wanted in your dream house.”

  She tried her best to hold it back, but it didn’t work. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Why you gotta say shit like that, Desmond?”

  “It’s the truth. What you want me to say?”

  “Shut up.” She sniffled and smiled through the tears. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. On her tip toes, she slid her tongue into his mouth as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “Ugh, mommy and daddy. Yuck.” Demond spat.

  They kissed a little longer before Ryan pulled away. She turned to the boys. “Yall may think that it’s gross right now, but one day when you find someone that you love, you’ll want to kiss her too.”

  “Mommy you love daddy?” Little De-De questioned.

  Ryan looked back at Desmond and then back at their son. “Yes, I love your daddy.”

  “Then why you not married, mommy?”

  Desmond couldn’t help but laugh. “Yall lil niggas got some deep questions, man. Are yall hungry?”

  “Yeah!” they both danced around, forgetting all about their questions.

  “Alright. Let’s order pizza.”

  Ryan just stood back checking out the scene. Although, she’d had much more practice than him, Desmond damn sure knew how to handle the kids. She assumed that it had to be his natural instincts kicking in.

  She couldn’t stop smiling, because for once she was looking forward to the future. She had her Boo back. Their day started off chaotic, but with him she knew that everything would be okay.

  Chapter 11

  Desmond stood at the door of his condo. He was dreading going inside, but it had to be done. So, he used his key to unlock the door. He entered the space and found it surprisingly clean. Jada was never the neatest person.

  Everything was tidily in place and he found her sitting on the couch watching TV. She didn’t even bother to look his way even though she’d heard him come in.

  “Hey.” He spoke.

  “Hey.” She cut her eyes at him.

  “You alright?”

  “Yep.”

  “That’s what’s up.” He sat across from her on the sofa. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  She c
ut her eyes to him. He couldn’t help but notice the tears forming. “I want to apologize to you. You don’t deserve any of this.”

  “Humph.” She let out as she stared at him blankly.

  He continued. “I know that I hurt you, and I’m sorry. You are a good girl and I hope that I haven’t fucked you up for the next man. You can keep the condo. The rent is paid up for a year. I know that you probably gonna got back to Baton Rouge, but still. You can keep the BMW. There’s about fifteen twenty stacks in the safe. It’s yours.”

  She shook her head and stared at the wall as she ran her tongue over her teeth. Tears slid down her face. “So, that’s it? You’re leaving me?”

  “Yeah, lil mama. I think that it’s best that we go our separate ways.”

  She turned to him. “You going back to her, right?”

  He nodded.

  “You are a fucking low down, dirty muthafucka. All these years I put up with your shit and you run back to that bitch! She left you.” She cried. “I was there. Me.” She pointed at her chest. “All the cheating and lying. All the shootouts and drama I lived through, just to be with you. All for you to leave me for a bitch that didn’t love you enough to stay down.”

  “Come on, man. Let’s not go there.”

  “No, let’s.” she stood. “That bitch ran here to Houston and didn’t look back and now that’s who you want? Nigga please.”

  He shook his head. “Let’s keep it real. Because of me she took three bullets. Any bitch would fold after that. Her reasons for doing what she did are our business. Shit, me and you both know that this shit between us wasn’t gonna last. I was never going to be what you needed.”

  “But you can be that for her?”

  “I take it you don’t believe in soul mates?”

  “Soul mates? Get the fuck outta here with that shit.” She waved him off.

  He stood to leave. “Well, believe what you wanna believe. I’m out.”

  She watched as he walked away leaving her devastated. She had to do something, so she went after him. She grabbed him from behind. “Baby, please don’t leave me.” She begged as she tugged at his shirt.

  The guilt was fucking with him. He turned around to face her. “Let me go, Jada. You deserve to have a man that loves you, baby girl.”