Into the Canyon

by Michael Neale

  He hopped his way over each stepping-stone to join her in the middle of The River. The couple sat side by side facing downstream, the waters rolling by on both sides.

  “Are you glad you came?” Tabitha asked as she leaned on his shoulder and slipped her right arm through his left, clutching his bicep.

  “Where, out here?”

  “Well, yeah, but I mean out west, to Colorado, to The River?”

  “You ask a lot of questions.” Gabriel stared ahead for a few seconds before he continued. “I’m really glad I came to The River but . . .”

  “But what?”

  “Nothing . . . not important, really,” Gabriel said.

  “I’d like it if you’d tell me. I wonder about stuff too, ya know? I’ve grown up here. It’s all I’ve known. I often wonder if I’m missing something out there. I feel like there’s more, but I’m not sure what. How could I want something different from this amazing place, ya know? Why do we always want what we can’t have?” Tabitha looked off in the distance. “I’m not sure if the proverbial grass is greener, but sometimes I just want to see it for myself.”

  “I’m still working through some stuff, that’s all.”

  “What kind of stuff?” Tabitha wouldn’t let it go. “Come on, talk to me.”

  Gabriel shifted his weight, causing Tabitha to move.

  “I’d rather not be interrogated right now.”

  “Uh . . . okay. I just thought you might like to talk about it.”

  Oftentimes they would get close, and Gabriel’s mind would go to another place.

  Gabriel broke the long, awkward silence. “I think I’m pretty tired.” He stood up on the rock.

  “We just got here. Are you okay? I wasn’t trying to—”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” Gabriel interrupted her. His cold demeanor was unexpected.

  “You have to let me know what’s going on in that head of yours.” She tried to soften her tone.

  “I don’t have to do anything. You coming?”

  Tabitha didn’t respond. She stood up with him. What started as a flirtatious and intimate moment by the waters turned into an emotional standoff. Gabriel sighed. This had happened before . . . Tabitha pushing her way in, him seeming to shut down. They walked back to the lodge without a word.

  “You can take the flashlight.” Gabriel handed it to her.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I promise. I’m just really tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Gabriel turned and disappeared into the woods.

  “Good night,” she said, but he was already gone.

  Gabriel found his way back to the cabin and plopped down on his twin bed. He yanked the chain on his end table lamp to cast light into the musty room. He was angry and didn’t know why. He lay on his back, hands clasped across his stomach, one leg dangling off, wondering why he was so restless. He hated the way things had gone with Tabitha. Questions and thoughts played over and over in his mind. After a few self-loathing minutes, he got up, grabbed a flashlight, and headed back outside. He walked along the water’s edge for a hundred yards to what the locals called The Reflection Pool. Here it almost seemed as if The River stood still. Other than an occasional river fly or trout flicking the surface of the water, it was like glass. If you sat in the right place on the shore at night, and the moon was bright, you could see a perfect reflecting image of the mountains, trees, and sky. Tabitha said it looked like a Van Gogh.

  Gabriel crouched down and leaned over the water. His scruffy beard and curly hair came into focus. A gentle breeze floated through the canyon, tussling the water and blurring his reflection. As the water settled smooth again, he stared into the steel-blue eyes, and it struck him . . . he looked just like his father. The breeze blew again, warmer this time, and it felt like a warm blanket draping over his shoulders. A loud and familiar shriek bounced around the mountain walls. He looked up to see if he could catch a glimpse of the raptor. He had that feeling again, that feeling that he was not alone. As he looked at the image in the water, for a split second, he felt like he heard his father’s voice inside him.

  I’m so proud of you. You are becoming one with The River.

  Was that just me? Dad . . . are you here? Becoming one?

  As his internal conversation continued, Gabriel dragged his finger through the reddish clay and formed the symbol that he had seen on the tree and on the cornerstone at the monument.

  A chilling wolf cry echoed in the distance. Then a haunting owl hoot seemed to come from right over his shoulder. A few moments later, two river otters scurried across the far side bank before diving into the water and sending ripples across the reflections. It was as if the wildlife were joining the conversation.

  His mind flashed to that night on The Beach, nearly a year earlier, when The River stirred, and he experienced what seemed to be a supernatural encounter . . . or dream. He took a seat on the ground facing the pool and the panoramic view of the western skyline. He lay back into the graveled beach and looked up. The expanse of the starlight canopy overhead made him feel small in the canyon.

  Gabriel spoke out loud.

  “I wish I could talk to you. Can you hear me? I’m sure this is where you’d want me to be, but some days I feel lost. How could I feel at home and lost at the same time?” Gabriel asked, frustrated.

  Silence.

  Gabriel stared at the night sky.

  “What do you want from me, River? I’m here, aren’t I?”

  More silence.

  “I think she wants to fix me. I don’t need fixing.”

  “Who needs fixing?”

  Gabriel jumped up and faced the figure walking out of the woods, his heart pounding.

  Jacob appeared from the shadows with a grin on his face.

  “Who are you talking to out here? It’s past midnight.”

  “What is it with you people and your sneaking up around here?” Gabriel asked, his anger returning.

  “I went to get something out of the shed, and I thought I heard something. You good?”

  Gabriel sat back down facing the water.

  “Yeah,” he answered abruptly as he dusted the dirt off of his hands.

  Jacob didn’t seem to buy it, and he pressed for more. “You sure nothing’s bothering you?”

  “I’ll work it out.”

  “I’m sorry you had to witness that episode with Billy. There’s a lot more to that story.”

  “Like what?” Gabriel raised a suspect eyebrow as he looked up at Jacob.

  “Well, it’s a long story. Tomorrow some of the others will get here, and we’ll finish up some of our swift-water training. You might want to get some sleep.”

  “I will.”

  Jacob turned around and started to walk away. Gabriel, still staring at the water, spoke up again. “I’m just not sure about all this.”

  Jacob stopped in his tracks and turned around. “What do you mean?”

  “All this. Me . . . here at The River. When I first got here, it was amazing, but I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

  Jacob started walking back toward him.

  Gabriel continued, “I keep thinking about my mom in Kansas.”

  “You belong here, Gabriel. You know that,” Jacob said confidently.

  Gabriel’s tone became more indignant. “I do? How do you know? How does anybody know?”

  “I just see it in you, like your father.”

  “Please don’t talk about my father, Jacob.” Gabriel shook his head.

  “Listen, son . . .”

  “And don’t call me son! I’m the son of John Clarke. You remember, the hero, John Clarke?”

  Jacob held up his hands. “Gabriel, I didn’t mean to say anything . . . was just—”

  Gabriel cut him off. “Right now when I see The River . . . all I see is what could’ve been . . . what should’ve been. I see what’s gone . . . see who’s gone. I guess it’s not getting easier. It’s getting harder. There were a few days on The River when I felt hopeful. T
hen we saw those bones . . . that child . . . I don’t know, man, something snapped. And I remembered that The River doesn’t always give life. Sometimes it takes it.”

  Jacob sat back down next to Gabriel and let the conversation rest for a few moments before he responded.

  “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. You’re still angry with me. I would be too.”

  Gabriel didn’t respond.

  “I’ll understand if you can’t be around me, Gabriel, but Tabitha really loves you.”

  They both sat in silence, fidgeting with sticks and rocks at the water’s edge.

  “Do you want to be alone?”

  Gabriel nodded.

  Jacob stood up and dusted off his jeans. He started to walk away, then paused and looked back.

  “Just don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from who you were created to be, Gabriel. People will fail you. I failed you, and I probably will again at some point. But you were created for The River, and no matter what people do or don’t do, that will never change. No matter how big the mistake, nobody will ever take that from you. It’s who you are. I’m proud of you.”

  Jacob disappeared back into the forest.

  Gabriel considered all that he’d said as he lay back down and drifted off to sleep on the shore of The Reflection Pool.

  10

  Swift Water Rescue

  Sunday Morning—8:30 a.m., On the Deck at The Lodge

  A half dozen other guides arrived at Big Water to prepare for the summer season. Most of them had been guiding for a while, but they all were going to get a refresher course of swift-water rescue that day. Jacob was vigilant about training. Many of the guides were ski instructors in the winter and river guides in the summer. No desk jobs for these young people.

  The perfect day unfolded with the bright blue sky smiling on the patches of brilliant wildflowers, decorating the landscape around the lodge and the hillside by The River. Blue Flax, Copper Mallows, Wood Lilies, and countless others painted the gray and green terrain. Gabriel, still foggy from falling asleep at The Reflection Pool the night before, lumbered up the steps to join the others. Freddie, Tabitha, and Samuel were sitting at a picnic table on the deck sipping coffee. Freddie cracked a joke and they were doubled over in laughter. Sadie was talking to some of the others who just arrived. Some days it took Gabriel awhile to connect. An introvert by nature, he felt like an outsider, like he was intruding. Everyone was nice enough, but he usually kept to himself around new folks.

  “Get your beauty sleep?” Freddie asked Gabriel.

  “Hardly.”

  Gabriel looked at Tabitha. She rose.

  “Anyone want some more coffee?” she asked the table.

  The guys shook their heads as she turned and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Ouch,” Samuel commented with a smirk on his face.

  “Samuel, is it chilly out here? I think I felt a very cold breeze blow by here.” Freddie chuckled at his own sarcasm.

  “That was blizzard-like chilly.” Samuel turned to Gabriel. “What did you do?”

  Gabriel ignored them.

  “I better go get some coffee.” Gabriel headed toward the kitchen as the door swung open.

  “Fresh and hot!”

  Ezra shuffled out onto the deck holding a pan of his cinnamon rolls. A hearty cheer erupted. They all swarmed the pan and began tearing off pieces. The icing dripped and the steam rose from the dough. It didn’t take long for more reactions to erupt.

  “Pure heaven.”

  “Oh, man . . . this is as good as it gets.”

  “Ezra, I need to marry a man like you,” Sadie said as she took a roll.

  “Ezra, can you teach me how to make those?” Freddie didn’t waste the opportunity.

  “He’s relentless,” Sadie commented to Ezra.

  “You can’t blame the kid for tryin’.”

  Gabriel snatched two rolls and entered the dining area. Tabitha stood behind the counter pouring her coffee.

  “Could I get a little of that?”

  “Get a mug,” she replied shortly.

  Gabriel opened the cabinet and pulled out a large white ceramic mug with a yellow daisy painted on it.

  She glanced at the mug. “My mom helped me paint that. Be careful with it, please.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Seven.” Tabitha stared down at the mug for a moment. “I don’t understand you. What was that last night?” she asked, sounding both perturbed and concerned.

  Gabriel sighed. “I don’t know. I’m not really sure, to be honest.”

  “Was it something I said? You just shut down. That’s not how it works, you know. If you want to have a relationship, you have to relate.”

  Gabriel was taken aback by her candor. She always spoke her mind so freely.

  “You make it sound pretty easy.” He passed her the cinnamon roll.

  “I didn’t say it was easy. Things that are worth it probably aren’t easy, right? It takes work.”

  “I prefer easy.”

  Tabitha cracked a flirtatious smile as she dipped her finger in the icing.

  “You know what’s easy?” she asked him.

  “What?”

  “This!”

  Tabitha smeared the icing on Gabriel’s nose and ran around the counter and out the door laughing.

  “No way.”

  Gabriel sat in shock for a moment before he hustled out of the kitchen to catch her. He exploded through the door and interrupted Jacob addressing the whole group.

  “Welcome, Gabriel,” Jacob said sternly.

  “Oh, sorry,” he answered awkwardly.

  Tabitha stood on the other side of the deck grinning from ear to ear. Gabriel caught her eye with a flirtatious glare.

  Jacob continued, “Okay guys, let’s take as few vehicles as possible, so team up. We’re going to do some swift-water exercises at The Carnival. Everyone know where that is?”

  The group nodded.

  “Yeah, baby!” Freddie shouted as he slammed his hand on the picnic table. “I love that water.”

  “When we get there, I’ll give you more instructions, but we’ll do some technical rope rescue exercises, unconscious swimmer extraction, and some good old-fashioned white-water swimming. Freddie, you come with me.” Jacob looked up from his clipboard at Freddie.

  Freddie gave him a thumbs-up.

  Gabriel was still new to the white water. Even though his physique was sculpted and strong, he’d wrestled with debilitating fear his entire life. Anyone would with the things he saw as a young boy. The idea of voluntarily jumping in big water made his stomach jump into his throat. He wanted to back out but wouldn’t dare.

  The entire Big Water Adventures Team headed down The River in five rafts carrying all the gear necessary for a few hours of training. The morning mist burned off in the canyon as the sun beamed across the water. The temperature was pushed up over eighty degrees.

  “I do love this part of The River; it’s like a million tiny mirrors sparkling with the sun,” Sadie commented with wonder.

  “It never gets old, does it?” Gabriel responded.

  “Nope.”

  “How’s your leg doing?” he asked as he glanced down.

  Sadie turned her knee inward showing her toned calf.

  “Just a scar now. Doesn’t hurt anymore.” She ran her fingers over it.

  “Okay, guys, The Carnival is just around the bend, so let’s put out in that eddy over there!” Jacob announced as he motioned to all the rafters.

  One by one they all pulled in the eddy and beached their rafts.

  Jacob’s tone turned serious and instructive. “Gather over here and take a seat on these rocks. It’s time for a sermon.”

  The rafters took their seats on the bank of giant boulders facing The River. Jacob continued, “Welcome to The Carnival, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve got the . . .”

  Jacob paused as he noticed Freddie mouthing the words he was saying.

  “Freddie, do you have somet
hing to say?”

  Freddie shook his head violently and put his hand over his mouth.

  “You think you know the spiel, wise guy?” Jacob looked serious.

  Freddie shook his head again, this time his eyes wide with “uh-oh” written all over them.

  Jacob reached in his dry bag and pulled out a folded-up twenty-dollar bill. He held it up so everyone could see it.

  “Twenty bucks says you don’t know what I’m going to say.”

  The mood lightened, and then Freddie surprised everyone in a shockingly real “Jacob” voice.

  “Welcome to The Carnival, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve got the best rides in all of Colorado. Most carnivals are fun, but this section of rapids is no joke. I want all eyes on me for the next few minutes as I point out the attractions here at The Carnival. First, you’ve got the tilt-a-whirl. That’s right, it tilts and it whirls . . .”

  At this point no one could contain their laughter. Everyone was in stitches, including Jacob.

  “Okay, okay!” He waved his hands in surrender.

  Jacob waved the twenty-dollar bill in the air and walked over and tucked it in Freddie’s lifejacket. Everyone erupted in applause as Freddie took a bow.

  “Okay, I’ll admit it. That was impressive, Freddie. It’s good to have fun. What kind of life do we have, huh? Look around at your office today, guys. Isn’t this amazing?” Jacob motioned to the surroundings as he smiled and stroked his salt-and-pepper scruff.

  Jacob continued to go over the importance of being vigilant during training. He walked them through all the specific rapids that constituted The Carnival. He went over the dangers of a “haystack” that occurred at the “Ferris wheel” rapid, where the current slowed quickly after a big drop causing a massive standing wave. He warned them of a strainer that had formed down past “pinball.” Some dead branches lay across a few rocks allowing the water to pour through, but it was lethal when a person got caught in it. After he finished giving them a verbal tour of the rapids and their challenges, he gave out assignments. Jacob was not only an expert on The River, he was just as strong at imparting his knowledge and explaining the why behind his decisions.