Into the Canyon

by Michael Neale

  Ezra Buchanan

  Faithful Friend to All

  Forever in The River

  1894–1975

  Gabriel spoke aloud as he lowered his leather satchel from his shoulder and set it on the ground next to the small shovel.

  “I brought something for each of you. I know you already know this, but there is another Clarke on the way. I’m going to be a dad. Can you believe it?” Gabriel smiled and talked like they were right in front of him. “It’s a bit surreal, ya know? Taking care of a little one, I can’t even imagine. I’m already torn up just thinking about it.”

  Gabriel opened the weathered bag and pulled out a small pouch. “Dad, remember when I came to visit you on your birthday? I found one of our marbles . . . well, Rio found it.” He opened the pouch and pulled out the large aggie to take one more look, almost as if he was showing it to them. “I still can’t believe it stayed there all those years.” He dropped it back in the pouch. He took the digging spade, and directly centered between the two headstones, he dug a hole about eighteen inches deep. He set the pouch down in gently. “I wanted to leave this here with you. I have all the rest of them. I just want you to know I’ll never forget what you did for Jacob and Billy, and how your story lives on in me, and . . . your soon-to-be grandchild. I’ll do my best to never let you down.” Gabriel wiped his moist eyes. He turned his attention to Ezra’s place of rest. “Ezra, I miss you. You connected me to The River like no other. I’m forever in your debt, old friend.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a playing card . . . a King of Hearts. “Whenever I play, I think of you taking all our money. You really were the king of hearts, Ezra. You always gave yourself away. You showed us how to have grace and dignity in the middle of great sorrow and adversity. Rather than giving way to your tears and becoming bitter . . . you planted them . . . you planted them in The River. You let The River turn them into joy. Joy from sorrow, that’s how I remember you. I love you, wise friend.” Gabriel set the card down into the hole. As he began to scoop the soft clay back into the hole, he wept.

  The sun was in full view now, reflecting brilliantly in the dewy earth and the reddish canyon walls. Gabriel leaned back against the Cathedral rock and cushioned his head with the empty messenger bag. He watched as the occasional cloud floated by, hiding the sun’s rays. His jubilation at the triumph of his son or daughter coming into the world stood valiantly in his heart as the waves of grief rolled in, breaking on his tired mind. He knew it would never fully leave. He was starting to understand that the joy was even more beautiful when standing on the shoulders of suffering. Scenes from his life began to flood in.

  Breakfast at the Cartwright farm . . .

  Riding the tractor with Tabitha . . .

  Climbing the tree at the pond . . .

  Buying marbles from the magic river marble man . . .

  His wedding day . . .

  Crying with Billy at Millie’s grave . . .

  Mrs. Collingsworth . . .

  Rio saving his life from that snake . . .

  Playing marbles with his father . . .

  As he stared at the blue sky, it appeared to ripple, then some clouds started to rush together forming what appeared to be foaming white water. The scene cut to him guiding a raft that bucked ferociously in The River. In the front were two men. The white water sprayed Gabriel’s face as he struggled to rudder the raft with his paddle. The two men turned around. It was his father on the left, just as he remembered him, in his early twenties! On the right, Ezra, who appeared younger than the last time he saw him! John and Ezra smiled and laughed as they paddled vigorously.

  “Isn’t this fantastic, Gabriel? What a day!” His father sounded overjoyed.

  “I didn’t remember it being like this! Yee-haw!” Ezra shouted.

  Gabriel shook the water from his face. “Can you tell me what’s going on here?”

  “What do you mean, son? We are running The River!” John’s husky voice echoed in the canyon as the waters calmed down.

  A hawk screeched high overhead.

  “We are getting ready to run some of the biggest waters you’ve ever seen. Yes, sir. You are going to love this.” Ezra pulled his paddle in for a rest.

  “What are you talking about? Where are we?” Gabriel looked all around the vast canyon. The walls were so high he could not see the top. The River so long he couldn’t see the end in either direction. The water was crystal blue and the cliffs a deep gray. The trees were the richest shades of green, and the rocks on the banks sparkled like gems.

  “There are a few things I want you to know, Gabriel. No matter how hard it gets, you’re never alone.” His father scooted closer to him on the raft.

  “Great things are in store for you, Gabriel; it’s been planned for you since the beginning,” Ezra said with wonder in his eyes as he pointed at Gabriel.

  “There’s always more going on than meets the eye. Listen to the waters. They will bring you people, people you can help,” Ezra said.

  “Remember, your covenant with Tabitha points to something far greater than you. It transcends your preferences. It should bring honor to her and to the ways of The River. Laying your life down for others, that’s the way of The River. Oh, and by the way, it’s a boy,” his father said.

  “I think Ezra would be a good name!” The old man laughed.

  “Oh no, John is a much stronger name, old-timer!”

  Gabriel tried to take in all they were saying.

  “Always remember, Gabriel, with The River, it’s always new. There’s always a new beginning. It’s never too late, for anyone. We all make mistakes. Once you’re in The River, the old has gone and the new has come. Have courage and lead. You were meant to lead. So live! Live with hope! I’m proud of you, son. Always remember, we Clarkes, we were made for The River! Now let’s make history!”

  The old man reached over and started to tighten Gabriel’s life vest.

  “I think you’re ready for the Big Water now. Make history, son.” Ezra smiled as he and John spun around to face downstream.

  Gabriel felt the water rise and the raft speed up. He looked ahead to notice the water spilling over a gorge and out of view. As the raft entered the thunderous mist, John and Ezra turned around one last time.

  “See you on the other side!” they shouted in unison.

  The sound of the impending waterfall was deafening. John and Ezra disappeared in the mist. The raft lunged forward . . .

  A new voice entered. “Gabriel. Gabriel. You okay?”

  “Hold on! Hold on!” Gabriel, startled and completely out of breath, looked up to see Jacob and Billy.

  “Gabriel. It’s just us. Looks like you had the same idea we did,” his father-in-law said calmly as he let go of Gabriel’s shoulder.

  It took Gabriel just a second to get his bearings.

  “I must have fallen asleep,” he said as he sat up in the dirt.

  The two men sat down beside him, one on either side. After a few moments of silence, Jacob spoke up. “This is a sacred place.”

  Then Billy. “I come here a lot . . . you know . . . to thank your dad.”

  They sat in the quiet, staring ahead.

  Gabriel rubbed his face, still feeling odd. “You guys aren’t going to believe the dream I just had.”

  “Try me,” Jacob responded.

  Gabriel grabbed a pen and journal out of his satchel and began to write as fast as he could.

  “Once I get it straight in my head, I’ll share it.”

  “Do you think God speaks to us in dreams?” Billy asked.

  “It’s hard to know what is God and what isn’t sometimes, that’s for sure. I would like to know His mind on things.” Gabriel took his finger and began to write something in the dirt.

  N e w B e g i n n i n g s

  Gabriel continued, “I have to believe, though, if we’re hungry to hear Him, He’ll let us know. Somehow . . . some way, He’ll speak. Maybe through people, through dreams, through circumstances, through His mystery,
and we’ll know. Hey, Fielding brothers, I want you to know something.”

  “What’s that?” Jacob asked with a questioning look.

  “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

  Nothing more needed to be said in that moment. Gabriel got up first and offered each of his hands to the other two. The three guides stood over the gravestones of their heroes thinking about all they were thankful for. Second chances, new relationships, and a new child, all in the current of The River. Gabriel picked up his leather satchel and threw it over his shoulder.

  “Gentlemen, it’s up to us now. What will you do with your new beginning? As for me . . . I’d like to make history.”

  Epilogue

  October 8, 2012, 9:20 a.m.

  It was my last day with Gabriel at The River. I needed to leave for the airport before dawn the next morning. I almost didn’t want to. Being with this man out in the wilderness opened me up at the deepest level. The River saw right through me. I couldn’t hide a thing. I had seen a river before, but this time, I experienced it. I felt the water’s touch. I heard the water’s voice. I really saw The River’s power and beauty. Before this trip, I never really knew I needed forgiveness. I don’t think I’d ever been truly honest with anyone until Gabriel Clarke. He didn’t judge me. He just led me through to a place of truth.

  The hike was more challenging than I thought. We came to the fork and went left. It was a cool, damp, and cloudy late morning.

  “The Cathedral is to the right. We’ll stop there on the way back.” His low, gravelly voice sounded strong and reverent.

  “Okay . . . right behind you.”

  The sound of the thundering falls rose with every slog of my boots. We arrived at a clearing. He took his backpack off. I followed his lead.

  “Come with me,” he said as we walked to the edge of the ridge. “That’s Firewater Gorge.”

  The falls, the spray, the rock formations created a dazzling display of nature. “Wow. It’s even more magnificent than I imagined.”

  “Grab on to this tree,” he instructed with his hand on a broad fir tree.

  I did.

  “This is the tree that I clung to fifty-six years ago now.”

  I felt hollow as I considered what he’d carried with him his entire life. The terrifying scene from that tree must have played in his mind a million times.

  Gabriel scrambled down the hill to the water’s edge next to the falls. I followed carefully. He stood with his back to the water as I arrived. He pointed over my shoulder to a tree that was now behind me. I turned to see the deep etching in the spruce, the symbol of Ama-Woya, the sign of the scar named “mercy” on Jacob, the symbol of freedom, and the symbol of The River.

  “We believe that’s the original one, the sign she carved to commemorate her freedom. Life brings many scars, many tears, Blake. The River meets us in the tears and washes our scars. The ashes of our brokenness and grief will one day give way to displays of love and beauty. It’s written in the scars.”

  Gabriel ran his hand over the moss-stained tree carving. He turned to The River and pointed to a giant boulder in the current next to the bank where the waters poured around it powerfully.

  “Is that where it happened?” I asked.

  He nodded.

  “I still miss him.” He cupped his hands to his mouth like a megaphone and shouted, “I love you! In . . . The . . . River! In . . . The . . . River!” His voice seemed to carry all the way to the top of the canyon ridge. He was uninhibited by my presence or whether I would understand such a thing. I was so moved by this battle cry . . . this cry of love . . . this cry of devotion.

  I stooped down and leaned over the bank to touch the water. Something happened as I did. I’ve never seen visions. I’ve had dreams, of course, but when the mist of the waterfall hit my face and I felt the water push against my hand, I had the most vivid scenes flash into my mind’s eye. They terrified me. They probably only lasted fractions of a second, but they are forever etched in my mind and heart.

  My family, Sarah, Jake, Lily, and Dylan, were in a raft by themselves. The raft was spinning. Sarah was doing her best to control it in the raging water but to no avail. They were careening toward a massive waterfall. I could read the kids’ lips. They were looking at me, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy!” but I couldn’t hear them. The looks of terror on their faces broke my heart. I started banging on the window of my BMW and yanking on the door handle. I was locked in my luxury car on the bank watching the most beautiful gifts of my life struggle and then disappear.

  I jerked my hand out of the water and shook my head. I was gasping with anxiety. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I stood back up to my feet, and Gabriel looked at me as if he knew what I’d seen.

  “Let’s go. One more place.”

  I couldn’t shake the feeling of what just happened. We climbed back up the steep hill, grabbing small trees and setting our feet in the embedded rocks. We hiked back the way we came to the fork and took a left. After another strenuous thirty-minute haul, we came to the place I will never forget.

  “Welcome to the Cathedral of the Sun, Blake.”

  As I approached the massive rock, the sun broke through the clouds. It absolutely was nature’s cathedral. The rock spires rose mightily into the sky. I felt small in their shadow. I walked with Gabriel over to the base, and we set our backpacks down. I saw the gravestones. I felt an amazing connection to history, to greatness, and to my new friend’s story as I looked at the names.

  John W. Clarke

  1928–1956

  Forever in The River

  I thought of the legacy of this man. He was a true hero . . . a legend. After a few moments I took a couple of steps over and gazed at the next one.

  Ezra Buchanan

  Faithful Friend to All

  Forever in The River

  1894–1975

  I contemplated the selflessness of this gentle soul. How he led Gabriel through the most difficult times with timeless wisdom.

  It was the next one that humbled me to the dust and caused my heart to sink.

  Tabitha Fielding Clarke

  Beloved Wife and Mother

  The Canyon Princess

  Forever in The River

  1954–2010

  I felt his presence as he joined me.

  “I didn’t know, Gabriel. I’m so sorry.”

  “We had thirty-six beautiful years together. We lived for each other and for The River.” He knelt down on both knees, wiping debris from the stone as he continued. “She was so feisty, all the way up until the day the cancer won. She was still telling me to never stop living and to go for my dreams. She believed in me. Do you know what her last words to me were? ‘You have to do the Top 10!’ When I first met you in the airport, I was coming back from that trip. Every rapid of that trip was run in her honor. Oh . . . we had some rocky times too, but we never quit. We loved each other . . . forgave each other . . . through it all.”

  Gabriel wiped his eyes as he stood back up. He faced me. I felt like he saw my soul.

  “I’d give anything . . . to have one more day, one more picnic under the falls, one more good night kiss, one more run of The River, one more anything with her. My Tabitha is gone, Blake. But yours . . .” He put his finger in my chest. “. . . Your Tabitha . . . is still here. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to give your life to? What are you going to run after? You still have a choice. Which path will you choose?”

  His words lanced my heart, and I wept at the Cathedral of the Sun.

  I loaded the last of my things into my car and shut the trunk. As Gabriel walked over from the lodge, a vintage faded yellow Range Rover Jeep rumbled into the drive. A thirty-something, blond-bearded outdoorsman jumped out as soon as it stopped.

  “There he is!” The young man ran and embraced Gabriel.

  “Blake! Come here!” the guide shouted. “I’d like you to meet John Ezra, my son. We call him J.E.”

  I extended my hand to have it nearly crushed by t
he rock-solid man. He was the spitting image of his father.

  “Nice to meet you, Blake.”

  “You too. So are you a guide as well?” I asked.

  Gabriel answered before his son could.

  “The best.” He wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “He and I are getting ready to run some big water over the next few days. There’s nothing better than having your son become your best friend.” He looked at his son with eyes full of pride. “You ready to make history?”

  “Let’s do it,” J.E. said confidently.

  “Have a safe trip back, my friend.” Gabriel extended his strong and weathered hand and pulled me in for hug.

  “Gabriel, I can’t thank you enough.”

  “Listen, you’re welcome anytime. I have a great idea. Bring your whole family! We’ll show them the time of their lives.” He opened his eyes wide and smiled.

  “I hope I get a chance to take you up on that, friend.”

  “Well, if you do, I’ll have to share some of the most amazing miracles that our family has experienced on The River. They’ll blow your mind,” he said through that comforting, crazed grin.

  “Nice to meet you, J.E.”

  “You too.”

  I climbed in my car. As I was getting ready to shut my door, he called my name one last time.

  “Blake.”

  I turned.

  “Go make history.”

  It was dusk as I pulled into the long drive of our small farm back in Tennessee. My heart jumped out of my chest as I saw a couple of bikes lying on the side of the drive and her SUV in front of the garage. Out of the corner of my eye, Dylan came sprinting from the side yard carrying his firefly net.