Bare_Raw 2

by C. A. Harms

  “Brynn Taylor?” I look toward the entryway to the back offices to find a young girl holding a chart in her hands smiling back at me. “Dr. Seth will see you know.”

  I stand, still feeling my body vibrate with unsettling thoughts as I grab my bag and move in her direction. Walking through the hall I look around at all the posters and informative info they contained. The do’s, the don’ts of pregnancy, the development of your child, it was all too much. My hands shook as I fisted my bag tighter trying to hide them from the nurse.

  “I’m just going to check your blood pressure, and your weight,” she explained, motioning for me to step closer toward the awaiting scale.

  I continue to look around as I stand on the scale, and even when I’m sitting in the chair and she is placing the cuff over my arm. “A gentle squeeze,” she says just before the cuff begins to tighten. “Looks good.” She smiles when I look up at her as she releases the strap and pulls it away from my arm.

  “We’re going in to room three.”

  I nod still unsure of what I’m feeling. I take that back, I knew exactly what I was feeling, I was terrified. I wasn’t sure where I’d be in a month, what I’d do for an income once I had to supplement my loss of tips. I lived in a tiny two bedroom apartment, and couldn’t even afford to buy a new couch without the springs poking through. How in the hell would I afford diapers?

  “The doctor will be in shortly,” the nurse says bringing me out of my near panic attack. “I’ll need you to undress and put this on.” She holds out a gown unlike the paper ones I’ve seen in other doctor’s offices. This one is silky soft, opening in the front. It proved that the doctor’s office was definitely an upscale facility, and again the panic sets in. Thank goodness for insurance, though I wasn’t sure that would last if I couldn’t work.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Maybe I should wait for the doctor, but I wanted to know.

  “Sure.” She looks back at me eagerly and the kind look in her eyes is actually soothing. It was almost as if talking to a friend.

  “How far along do you have to wait before you can have a paternity test taken?” I realize instantly how that question must sound. “I already know without a doubt who the father is, and there is no possibility that it can be anyone other then him. “It’s a difficult circumstance, and I—” was only managing to make the situation more confusing.

  “It’s okay,” she offers. “There are ways to determine the paternity of an unborn child while in utero, but those forms are evasive and can run a small risk of miscarriage.”

  My heart feels as if it plummets.

  “Though the risk is small—”

  “No,” I say interrupting her further explanation. “I won’t take that chance. Thank you.”

  She nods and I turn slightly looking around the room for a place to change.

  The click of the door as it shuts when the nurse exits causes me to turn back around and look it its direction. There I stand in the center of the room clutching my bag and now the gown to my body. I was so scared of what was to come of my life from this point.

  I should have walked away. I was so careless, and took the risk I should have avoided. Because this outcome, it didn’t only affect me, it affected Katelynn too. Where I ended up, she would too.

  “What is it?” I laugh as I see Katelynn squint at the sonogram picture she held in her hands. “Because if you say it’s a baby, I only see a blob.”

  “Well, it won’t start looking like a baby for a few more months. I’m too early now.”

  “When are you due?” She finally lowers the picture and looks back at me.

  “March nineteenth, I’m only about nine weeks now. She nods still saying nothing. “What’s going on?”

  “Just curious.” She moves toward the refrigerator and gathers a water from inside. I wait for her to mull over her thoughts before she continues. “I know that you’re mad at Alec, but does that mean we have to avoid Aric, too? Because I kinda miss harassing him.”

  “Things are a little complicated now and I’m so sorry for that.” I felt like the worst kind of guardian at this point. “But we’ll figure it all out, I promise.”

  “Okay,” she accepts this and pushes for nothing more as she adds her water onto the table next to her plate. “Do we need anything else?” She looks over the table with her hands on her hips evaluating the contents. Plates, silverware, and napkins in place. Our drinks, her water and my milk. “I think the only thing we’re missing is the food.”

  I gather the pot, holding the spaghetti and begin walking toward our small table with mismatched chairs. Katelynn grabs the garlic bread and the parmesan cheese and joins me.

  During dinner we laugh and talk, things feel almost normal again. The normal meaning before Alec. There was still that dark cloud lingering over us, well me at least, but I did my best to ignore it. I wanted to focus on us, and the rest I truly hoped would fall into place.

  Climbing into bed, looking forward to giving in to the exhaustion I felt, my phone begins to ring on the nightstand.

  Alec’s number lighting up the screen only made me fully aware to the fact that a peaceful night’s sleep wouldn’t be taking place tonight.

  Chapter 17

  Alec

  I sat outside Aric’s apartment, my back pressed against the wall just outside his door as my arms rest atop my knees. My head hung forward as I stare at the same diamond print in the rug below my ass. I’d lost track already of just how long I’d been here.

  Reaching out to my brother, after all that had taken place, it was hard for me. I wanted to hold out, prove that I could go without him at my side, but it wasn’t true. I did need him. If I’m being honest with myself Aric isn’t just my brother, he’s my best friend too.

  When I hear the elevator slide open announcing someone’s arrival, I don’t even take the time to rise from the floor. Aric steps off and instantly pauses when he finds me there waiting for him. His forehead creases as his mouth falls slack into an unpleased frown.

  “I need your help,” I answer the unasked question that I see wash over his face.

  “What makes you think I’d be willing to offer you anything?” He was still in defensive mode and I completely understand. But I knew there was one thing that would penetrate this imaginary wall we’ve now managed to build between us.

  “Brynn’s pregnant.” The tension in his jaw suddenly fades. “She won’t take my calls and going to see her isn’t an option.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that little fireball across the hall guards her with something fierce,” I say and Aric grins.

  “Mrs. Morrison.” It should bother me that he knows her by name. “She is very protective of them.”

  That was an understatement.

  “I’m guessing that you did something to warrant her avoiding you. Besides the dismissing here weeks ago that is.”

  There was a long pause that passes between us before I speak. “I did,” I confess, “and now I don’t know how to fix it.

  “You’re asking me to be the buffer between the two of you?”

  “I’m asking that you help me get my foot in the door,” I knew it was asking a lot, but I didn’t know what else to do. “She’s carrying my child, Aric, you of all people should know how hard that fact is for me.” I finally push myself up off the floor and come face to face with my brother. “My first thought was this was Mandy all over again, and before I had the chance to registers those thoughts with what my heart already knew to be true I let the words fall.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I’m not proud of this,” I’d never felt so foolish, or heartless, “I asked if the baby was mine.” Aric hangs his head but not before I see the look of disappointment in his eyes. “I know it’s mine, I just fell back into that moment where I was standing on the fucking street staring at Caden in Mandy’s arms and hearing her say that he wasn’t mine all over again. That anger and betrayal returned and then you with her outside this building t
hat night.”

  “I said nothing happened,” he says, with anger and persistence.

  “I know,” and I did. My brother may be a playboy, he may bed many women, but I knew he would never go after a woman I’d been with, it didn’t matter the circumstances. “But right now you’re the only one in the Reynolds family she trusts, and I can’t lose another child.”

  Aric looks at me, understanding in his eyes. That soft way about him, as he reaches out and places his hand on my shoulder. He nods, slouching slightly to ensure I was looking directly into his eyes when he states his next words. “The difference this time is that this baby is yours, and Brynn is not Mandy.”

  “Yeah, but I’m afraid the damage I’ve caused is irreversible.”

  “You need to tell her,” Aric insists. “Everything.”

  I knew he was right but the idea of sharing every detail of my past when I’ve worked so hard to conceal it was difficult. But if I wanted Brynn and I wanted our child, I may have no other choice but to revisit one of my darkest times of my life.

  “Come on,” Aric tugs me along as he steps toward the door of his apartment. “Let’s go inside, have a drink, and give this pretty lady a phone call.”

  “What if she doesn’t answer?” I knew that was a strong possibility.

  “Then I call my BFF Katelynn.” He lets his eyebrows shift upward before grinning that over exaggerated goofy way of his. “That little lady is a huge fan of mine. Yours,” he wrinkles up his nose, “not so much.”

  “I figured.” It shouldn’t bother me so much that a twelve year old thinks I’m the worse possible human but it does. Brynn and Katelynn were a package deal. I knew that going in and though I tried to convince myself from the beginning that it was never anything more than an agreement between two adults, I knew better.

  Brynn had always been more than that, from the first kiss I just knew.

  “You want a beer, or something harder?”

  “Harder.” I look around his small apartment and image the three of them sitting in this very room. Cozied up on the couch, eating dinner around his small coffee table near the television. I even imagine the smiles that I’m sure were on the faces of both Katelynn and Brynn. I’d seen those smiles myself the few times I let my guard down and stopped living in that fucking fantasy where I thought I could control everything and everyone.

  “You ready?” Aric holds out a glass of amber liquid and I accept it willingly. I nod, nervously tipping the glass up and taking a big gulp, welcoming the burn. Moving toward the couch I sit down, remaining forward, leaning over to rest my elbows on my knees.

  “Hey stranger.” I look up when I hear Aric talk. “Where’s your sister?” I knew then that it wasn’t Brynn he was talking to, but Katelynn. “Why is she in bed so early?”

  Playing stupid seems to be the route he’s chosen to take.

  “She feeling alright?”

  He pauses listening to whatever it is Katelynn is telling him, and of course I’m imagining the worst.

  “Was thinking of stopping by, but I wasn’t sure if she had to work.”

  Work, fuck, I hadn’t thought of that. The last thing I wanted was Brynn working in some club with a bunch of men that I knew firsthand were there to do a little more than drinking. I didn’t like her there prior to this, but now, it made my stomach roll.

  “Really?”

  Again my interest is reverted back to the conversation taking place.

  “And how did the interview go?”

  The waiting was killing me, the not knowing what they were discussing was eating away at me.

  “When she’s up and moving around, have her call me.” He chuckles. “No, I don’t think you’re chopped liver.” Those words makes me smile, maybe for the first time in days. “Now don’t go telling your sister, but you are my favorite.”

  Another pause. “It’s not just a line, I miss my best friend.”

  They harass each other for a few more minutes before finally ending the call and I immediately stand up and move in his direction, eager for the information I knew he held.

  “Brynn had an interview today.”

  “What?” I set my now empty glass on the countertop that separated his kitchen and living room. “Where?”

  “Office assistant for David Blakely.” I see the same disapproval I feel wash over his face. “Apparently the interview went very well.”

  “There’s no way,” I say, and he agrees with a nod. “That man is a fucking pig, and the last thing I’m willing to allow happen is let him get his hands on Brynn.”

  “Agreed,” Aric said, and I knew he and I were once again back on the same page.

  “So what are we gonna do about it?” I ask, hoping like hell he was thinking the same thing I was.

  “We’re gonna find Brynn a position at one of your locations, but the trick will be to hide who it is she’s really working for.” A smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.

  “Serenity,” I say with a grin.

  “Exactly what I was hoping you’d suggest.” When my brother started modeling and acting he spent more money than a damn female on the upkeep of his beauty. It was something I loved teasing him about. So what did he do? He bought a building and opened his own spa that has since then expanded into three different locations. Each thrives beyond what he’d imagined, and believe it or not, they each had top notch clientele. He made one hell of decision when he made that business choice.

  “Now to figure out exactly how to go about it without making it obvious.”

  Chapter 18

  Brynn

  I came home with a handful of things I’d picked up from the store to find Katelynn entertaining a guest in our living room. That guest being an oversized kid himself, who was sprawled out on my couch with his feet propped up on the arm.

  “Hey pretty lady,” Aric says playfully adding an exaggerated wink. “I brought dinner, and dessert.” He points toward the kitchen and I see not one but four bags sitting on the counter. “The chicken is in the oven on warm.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.” I step forward and place my bags alongside his.

  When I turn around he is already up from the couch and moving toward me. “I know I don’t have to, but I wanted to.” He leans in and places a kiss to my cheek. “I’ve missed you guys.”

  When he stands tall once more I see the way his eyes scan over me, pausing near my stomach. “You know, don’t you?”

  “Know what?” Playing stupid really was not his strong suit.

  “You can’t lie for shit.” He chuckles when I say this and allows his body to rest against the countertop behind him. “So who told you, him or her?” I point to Katelynn and she fakes offense.

  “First off, I only confirmed what he already knew, after I figured out he knew.” She extends her tongue out in my direction in a very Kate-like fashion. “But to answer your question, yes he knows, and the jerk told him.”

  From the moment she figured out what had taken place or not taken place I should say between Alec and I, he has been referred to as the jerk. I didn’t correct her, because it was better than her calling him what I do in my own head. Asshole.

  “So what,” I try to hide the snarkiness in my voice, “are you his spy now?”

  It was his turn to fake offense, but of course he used his acting skills to go over the top. His mouth hangs open, his hand pressed firmly to his chest as his eyes widen and he even adds a little gasp. Katelynn laughs, and I cross my arms still waiting for an answer.

  Aric notices that I’m showing no signs of humor and stops, reaching out for me. His hands now rests on my shoulder. “I’m not here to be a spy, but I won’t lie, and say that he came to me worried about you.”

  “Worried about me.” I chuckle, only it isn’t because I find this one bit funny. It was just simply the easiest reaction. “He basically called me a whore without actually saying the word. It’s a little fucking late for him to start worrying, don’t you think?”

  I never use
d the word fuck, well, only when I was extremely stressed, or in this case, angry. Aric looked slightly surprised by my outburst.

  “There’s a lot behind that reaction that really has nothing to do with you.”

  “So now you’re making excuses for him?” I was only growing more frustrated.

  “No.” He answers me, and I know by the very serious look on his face he meant that. “There is no excuse for the way he acted or the things he said. Because regardless of what has taken place in his past, you aren’t to blame, and you didn’t deserve to reap that backlash. I just want you to understand that there are things about Alec, things that have happened that make him feel as if everyone has secrets. He doesn’t let many people in, and that all falls back to one point in his life that only he should be the one to explain.”

  “I don’t think I can see him right now,” I confess, and Aric nods. “I have this tremendous amount of anger inside for him at this point and I’m still not sure how to handle it. It’s like everything he’s said and done from the first time I met him, both good and bad are all bottled up in my mind and then weighed down by two very distinct moments. Him with that other woman, and then when he question the paternity of our child. I can’t get them out of my head.” My vision blurs from unshed tears I refused to let fall. “They’re always there in the front of my mind playing over and over.” I lift my hands up and shake them on each side of my face. “Like a repeating scene in a damn movie that you can’t pause and never ends.”

  “Okay,” Aric says as he wraps me in his arms and pulls me close. “I understand. But if you can’t let him in, then please let me be here for you until you feel ready. Even after that.” He comforts me and I allow it. “After all, you are carrying my niece or nephew so that gives me Uncle rights.”