Isobel

by Sheila Tibbs

  Bethany had changed, she was no longer her beautiful baby girl ... but Isobel.

  “Nooo!” she screamed, but the infant just laughed, a deep nauseating laugh.

  Sarah backed away from the cot, towards the windows.

  The French doors swung open and Sarah felt invisible hands pushing her onto the balcony. Her back hit the railings. The hands kept pushing. Sarah looked down, the concrete drive seemed to rise towards her, and she struggled to get free.

  Suddenly, a force she could not resist seemed to throw her through the air ... she was screaming and thrashing her arms ... she hit the ground. Stillness, silence, blackness.

  •

  David pulled onto the drive, just in time to see Sarah fall.

  He screeched to a halt and ran to his wife, who lay crumpled on the concrete before him. There was a thin trail of blood coming from her mouth.

  “Sarah!” he shouted and knelt before her, trying desperately to find a pulse. Sarah opened her eyes.

  “Oh, thank God!” David cried. “Lay still, honey, help will be here soon.”

  “It was Bethany,” she murmured, then fell into a state of unconsciousness.

  Chapter twenty-six.

  Sarah woke screaming. Ben leant forward on the chair he had been sitting on and held her hand. Sarah looked around her and realised she was in hospital. She started to cry.

  “Hush now, Sarah, you’ve been dreaming,” he smiled

  “No I haven’t, doctor, I’ve been remembering.”

  “Don’t talk now, it’s late. You sleep and we will talk in the morning, see what you can remember then, okay?” He stood up to leave the room.

  “Doctor?” she called after him, “I can’t sleep, not any more, not after this.” She started to cry again.

  “Yes you can, Sarah. You see, your mind is recovering itself, it can now rest peacefully. The mystery has been solved so to speak. I will see you tomorrow, okay.”

  He quietly closed the door behind him.

  Sarah lay there for what seemed like hours. It had got dark outside, very dark and she looked at the clock on the small bedside unit; it read 23.45.

  She had been asleep for most of the day, dreaming, remembering.

  How she wished with all her heart that she could again forget.

  The silence was broken by the soft sound of a nurse’s shoes, walking quietly down the corridor outside her room. She listened to them as they approached her door and walked passed.

  As they reached the end of the corridor they were almost inaudible and Sarah found herself straining to hear them because the sound had made her feel safe, not alone. Once again silence fell. She felt her eyes begin to feel heavy, and sleep was again on its way.

  The door to her room suddenly swung open. Sarah forced herself to look. The bright fluorescent lights of the corridor outside pierced the darkness of the room. There in the doorway stood a little girl - a little girl with long black hair, staring at her.

  Sarah raised herself onto her elbow and blinked back the light.

  The little girl’s features became clearer as Sarah's eyes adjusted to the light. Isobel came into focus. She laughed. Sarah screamed.

  “NOOOO!” She sat up in bed. The door flung open and the staff nurse came running in.

  “Did you see her? Did you? Where did she go?” she cried.

  “Hush now, Sarah, your dreaming, love. There’s no-one there.”

  “Yes there was! It was Isobel!”

  “It was just a nightmare. Come and lay down. Would you like me to stay with you for a while?” Sarah turned to face the nurse. She was a middle-aged woman with greying hair and a kind smile.

  “Yes, please.” Sarah smiled. “I’m sorry to be a nuisance.”

  “You’re not. It’s quite normal for people who have suffered a memory loss to have flash backs and nightmares, dear.

  The trick is to determine which is reality, and which is our minds playing tricks, but you will, don’t you worry.”

  The nurse settled herself down in the chair beside Sarah’s bed and held her hand.

  “Now, lovey, close your eyes.”

  Sarah did, and before long she was fast asleep.

  •

  It was December 12th when David sat Bethany in her baby walker to watch him put up the Christmas tree. He had never felt so excited about Christmas before, but this was Bethany’s first, and he was enjoying the preparation.

  Bethany eyes widened in excitement as David switched on the Christmas lights. Oh how he wished Sarah had been here to see her face, and join in the preparations. He sighed heavily.

  He walked into the kitchen and Bethany scooted along behind him in her walker, laughing and talking baby talk as she went. She was seven months old now and had just started to say 'Dada', much to his joy - now she could say mum and dad in her own little way. David wondered if she missed Sarah. She had settled without her well enough. Did Bethany remember her mother?

  David opened the fridge and took out the buffet snacks he had stored there for when his parents came, later that afternoon, and sorted out a few Christmas C.D.’s to play. He knew how much his mother enjoyed listening to them.

  He placed the food on the table and the Christmas candlesticks with the red and gold coloured candles on the table, ready to light.

  All the gifts were under the tree, as his mother liked, and he’d even made the mince pies instead of buying ready-made, simply because his mother preferred them.

  Before long the doorbell chimed and his mother and father proudly stood on the doorstep, waiting for him to answer the door. Bethany, as always, was right behind him in her walker and greeted her grandparents with a wide grin.

  After David had taken their coats and settled them in the lounge with a drink, his mother spoke.

  “So how’s Sarah doing?”

  “Fine. In fact, better than fine. I spoke to her doctor this morning and she seems to be remembering things, so, it looks hopeful. He even said if she carries on progressing like she has, then she might be able to come home on Christmas day which will be nice, especially as its Bethany’s first Christmas,” he said.

  On hearing her name, Bethany turned to David and grinned. David chuckled.

  “I still don’t understand what ever possessed her to jump like that, and in the baby’s room,” David’s dad said, shaking his head.

  “I always said she was unstable, didn’t I? I said you were a fool to marry her. She would only bring you heartache, and the problems she came with. But no, you wouldn’t listen to me, what did I know ... ” his mother snapped.

  “Mother, please, not in front of Bethany. Besides, I loved

  Sarah then, and I still love her now, warts and all,” David snapped back.

  “Hear, hear, son. She’s a lovely girl. Take no notice of your mother,” his father said, shot his wife a look that said leave well alone, then continued, “Jean, its Christmas. You just give her my love next time you see her.”

  David nodded in response.

  “Okay, I know its Christmas, but I just don’t think a suicidal woman is capable of looking after a baby that’s all. I know for one I wouldn’t be happy leaving this little darling in her care. What if she tried it again? Next time David might not be coming home, then what? I’ll tell you what, that little mite would be here all alone for what, maybe hours!” she said, gruffly.

  “Mum, that won’t happen, honest. It’s going to be a while before Sarah will be fit to look after herself properly, so don’t worry about Bethany. Anyway, as dad said, its Christmas ... let’s celebrate.”

  He took their empty glasses and headed for the kitchen to refill them. He could hear his dad having strong words with his mother, although he couldn’t make out what was being said. He sighed heavily. He knew it was going to be a hard three days before his parents left and once again he and Bethany would be alone.

  The usual high spirits that surrounded every one at that time of year took up the rest of the afternoon, and it wasn’t long before Jean w
as insisting on bathing Bethany and getting her ready for bed.

  Once alone in the lounge David looked at his father and smiled.

  “You look tired, son,” he said. “You sure everything is okay? It can’t be easy looking after the little one on your own and have to worry about Sarah.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine, dad, tired like you say, but fine, and Sarah’s going to be okay too.” He smiled wearily.

  “I know, son, and take no notice of your mother, she doesn’t mean any harm by her comments. She just worries about you.”

  “I know ... but sometimes I wish she’d give Sarah a break, you know? I know she’s had her problems over the years but she’s a good wife and mother to Bethany. I don’t know what came over her that day but hopefully we’ll find out, now her memory is returning.”

  David poured both himself and his father a drink and then settled into the chair opposite.

  “Does she still talk of ... you know who?” his father asked.

  “Yes, occasionally, not often.”

  David took a big gulp of whiskey and closed his eyes while the warmth found it’s way to his stomach.

  “That, I believe, is half of Sarah’s problems, she lives in the past, instead of looking forward to the future.”

  David nodded in agreement.

  “She thinks Bethany is...” he trailed off.

  His father sat forward, “Go on, son. She thinks Bethany is what?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” David drained his glass and reached for the bottle to refill it.

  “Then let me finish for you, shall I? She thinks Bethany is Isobel.”

  David looked at his father in surprise.

  “How did you know?”

  He laughed a little. “It was obvious that’s what you were going to say, and in

  Sarah’s defence, it’s hardly surprising. Bethany does resemble Isobel in a lot of ways. The same jet black hair, big blue eyes, cheeky grin; it was to be expected I suppose, but don’t tell your mother.”

  David felt himself relax. His father had always understood him and never judged him - or his choices in life. And the love he felt for his father doubled at that time.

  Joan tip toed into the room and, in a whisper, said, “She’s sound asleep, bless her.”

  Then she reached for the television controls and settled herself on the sofa. The Christmas programmes had started. The Two Ronnie’s were on first and before long David's parents were laughing away at their antics. The programme was so old now, yet they watched it every year ... and still laughed at the same bits.

  David sat quietly watching them both and he felt both honoured and proud that these two wonderful human beings were his parents. He felt comfortable for the first time in a very long time, but, for now, he would keep that thought to himself.

  The following day, they bundled into the car and took Bethany to see Santa, at the Royals in Southend.

  The grotto they had built was magnificent. There was a train ride to see Santa with his elves everywhere, Christmas decorations in abundance and carols playing loud. Everyone was in such good spirit. Bethany was her usual happy self, taking in all the shapes and colours that surrounded her. When she saw Santa for the first time, she smiled and held her arms out to go to him, which surprised everyone - even Santa himself. Normally young children cry when they first see him he had told David, but not Bethany, she had loved him. Again that night, he had felt comforted by his parents’ presence and sad at the thought of their leaving the following morning.

  The phone rang and interrupted his line of thought. He hung up and walked back into the lounge.

  “Well who was that, dear, phoning at this late hour?” his mother asked.

  “It’s hardly late, mum, it’s just after nine,” he laughed.

  Then his face turned serious. “It was the hospital. Sarah’s doctor needs to see me tomorrow.” He looked from his mother to his father then said, “I need to ask you a big favour.”

  “No you don’t, son. Of course we’ll stay on to look after the little one for you, don’t you worry yourself,” his father said, butting in.

  David smiled, “Thanks.”

  The atmosphere seemed to change instantly. His mother now sat there tight-lipped. It was as though she wanted to say something but knew better of it. David’s dad just winked at him as though to say 'don’t worry about her.'

  The following morning David pulled up outside the hospital and looked up at the vast building. For the first time since Sarah had been admitted, he felt scared.

  Taking a deep breath he climbed out of the car and approached the huge doors and hesitated. He wanted to run back to the car and drive away, but why? The thought ran through his mind over and over again, but he couldn’t find the answer. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.

  The foyer had been decorated with a large tree that was decorated with gold and red baubles and tinsel. The chains that hung from the ceiling were full of glitter and sparkled in the light. There were brightly covered gifts under the tree and David found himself wondering if they were real presents, or just covered empty boxes. Somewhere there were Christmas songs playing and David found himself tapping his foot to the sound of Slade, singing ‘So here it is Merry Christmas,’ when his train of thought was interrupted by Ben.

  “Hi, David. Thanks for coming at such short notice.”

  David turned and took Ben’s outstretched hand in his own.

  “No problem, is Sarah all right?” he asked.

  Ben smiled. “She’s fine. Let’s go to my office.”

  Together they walked down the corridor in silence. Once inside Ben’s office, David sat nervously on the chair in front of Ben’s desk.

  “It’s okay, David, don’t look so worried. Can I get you a drink? Tea, coffee?”

  “Coffee please,” David said but struggled to keep his tone level.

  Ben let out a little laugh and called for his secretary to bring in two coffees. Within, what seemed like seconds, David was holding a steaming mug of coffee, which he sipped cautiously.

  “I suppose I should put you out of your misery,” Ben laughed. “I only have a couple of questions I need to put to you. Sarah seems to have remembered a lot from a nightmare she had the night before last.”

  David glanced up quickly.

  “Is she okay? Is that normal ... to have nightmares I mean?”

  “Yes, she’s fine, and yes it can be quite normal. Some patients remember through dreams or nightmares, others remember through familiar things, bringing on what we call flash backs, so don’t worry. The biggest problem however, when patients remember through dreams, is distinguishing what is true and what is our minds playing tricks on us.”

  David felt himself relax slightly. Ben, sensing David was still anxious, decided to limit the questions for that session to a minimum. Although David wasn’t his patient, Ben always thought the best route to a mental illness was to treat the whole of the family, and, in Sarah’s case, that was David. Bethany was too young, Sarah had no parents and David seemed to be her whole life ... she had been since high school.

  Settling back in his chair he turned to David.

  “Tell me about Sarah’s childhood.”

  David cleared his throat.

  “She was brought up by her grandparents in the house we now own, we inherited it from them.”

  “Why was she bought up by her grandparents?” he asked, scribbling silently in his pad.

  “Her parents were killed in a car crash, down the lane from the Manor.”

  “Sarah said there has been a gardener at the Manor for years. Is he still working for you?” he asked.

  “Why yes. Mr Peters is still there, although he is due to retire soon and his son is taking over. Why do you ask?” David was puzzled.

  “Sarah was convinced your gardener - and his son – were both dead.” Ben looked at David without moving his head.

  “Dead, but...” David looked horrified at the thought.

  “Don’t worry, David
. Like I said our minds play tricks on us, Sarah is just getting the truth mixed up with the nightmare.

  That’s why you’re here, to put the record straight so to speak.”

  David relaxed again.

  “So, have you and Sarah ever fostered a child? Before Bethany was born I mean?”

  “No,” David said, sharply, then regretted his tone. “I mean no, we did think about it at one time. We were having problems conceiving and it was an idea we toyed with. Why do you ask?”

  “Oh, no reason, just something Sarah said. But once again she’s confused.”

  David sat forward.

  “What’s going on, Ben? What is Sarah confused about and what has she been saying?”

  “She couldn’t remember if you had fostered a little girl or not. I just needed to check with you so I can help her recognise truth from fantasy.” He smiled. “I think that’s enough information for today. So how is Bethany? Are you set for Christmas yet?” he asked.

  “Bethany is fine, thanks. She’s with my parents at the moment. Is there still a chance that Sarah can come home for Christmas?”

  “We’ll see, David. It’s too early to tell at the moment but yes, I’m quietly hopeful.” He grinned.

  As David got up to leave, Ben said, “Oh, one last thing,

  David, who is Isobel?”

  Ben watched the colour drain from David’s face.

  “She’s dead, Ben, dead and buried. Leave her in peace please. Don’t encourage Sarah to talk about her.”

  Before Ben could say anything else, David had shut the door. Ben sat there listening to his foot falls get further away until he could hear them no more.

  Chapter twenty-seven.

  Sarah sat quietly on the sofa in Ben’s office. Ben sat at his desk just watching her, waiting for her to start talking. Eventually, she spoke.

  “I saw Isobel again last night. She was standing in the doorway, just staring at me,” she mumbled.

  “Did she say anything to you?” Ben asked.

  “No. She just stood there staring, then she walked away.

  The nurse then came in, she walked down the corridor and would have bumped into Isobel, but she said she didn’t see her.”