Love Can Be Murder (boxed set of humorous mysteries)

by Stephanie Bond

  "I think he bought her the loft," Liz murmured, "but she won't talk about it. She's been as jumpy as a cat since I picked her up at the airport."

  "It seems out of character for Wendy to get mixed up with a married man."

  "People change." Liz glanced after Wendy, then sighed. "Besides, love makes people stupid. You should know that, Penny."

  Penny looked up. Was Liz talking about her stupidity for marrying Deke, or were the feelings she still had for Deke so transparent?

  Liz's gaze probed hers. "Look at how Deke has behaved, for instance."

  "Oh. Right."

  "Of course, no offense, Penny, but I always thought you could do better than Deke anyway."

  Penny gave a dry laugh. "Apparently not, since he's who I wound up with."

  "You settled."

  Funny, but Penny had felt lucky at the time, and most of the time since. In fact, she had sometimes wondered if Liz was jealous—not of Deke, but of their relationship. "He was the one who ended the marriage," she felt obligated to point out.

  Liz gave a dismissive wave with her manicured hand. "You're so much better off without him. Cheating bastard."

  "Who?" Wendy asked, rejoining them, her cheeks flushed.

  "Deke, of course," Liz said lightly. "Who did you think we were referring to?"

  Wendy adjusted her glasses—a nervous habit, Penny recalled. "No one. What did I miss?"

  Liz smiled. "I was just telling Penny that she was too good for Deke Black and that when she falls in love again, she shouldn't settle. Right, Wendy?"

  Wendy paled. "Right."

  Penny felt a rush of sympathy for gentle-hearted Wendy. If she'd fallen in love with a married man, she was probably feeling tormented. "And I was just getting ready to tell Liz that—"

  The door opened suddenly, and Penny turned her head. Her pulse jolted at the sight of Sheena's mystery man standing in the doorway, his broad shoulders spanning the opening, his dark gaze tantalizing. The man was built for carnal sport, and she had no doubt he could...score. Penny wet her lips and murmured, "Sometimes...sex is enough."

  Chapter Eight

  Top with a few sour grapes...

  A FEW SECONDS PASSED before Penny's words registered in her own brain. Where had that inane comment come from? She groaned inwardly, blaming Marie's Hot Voodoo Sex concoction for the misfirings of her nether regions—and her mouth. Meanwhile, the mystery man was giving her the once-over with those heavy-lidded black eyes that glinted with suppressed laughter.

  "Sorry," he said in a low, smooth rumble. "I was looking for the men's room." He glanced down, then bent and retrieved the Congratulations on Your Divorce, Penny! sign that had fallen off the door. "I didn't mean to crash the party." He looked up and grinned in her direction. "Are you Penny?"

  She nodded, feeling ridiculous.

  "Thanks for the tip on the Browning Motel this morning."

  A flush climbed her neck. "No problem."

  He extended the sign. "And congratulations on being single again."

  She stood, frozen, staring at his long-fingered hand until Liz bumped her from behind. "Thanks," Penny mumbled as she took the sign.

  "My pleasure."

  She had the absurd feeling that if he'd been wearing a hat, he would have tipped it. He gave a curt nod and disappeared.

  After a few heartbeats of silence, Liz bumped her again. "Was that the best you could do—thanks? That man was hot. And he was interested."

  Penny acknowledged with an exhale that yes, he was indeed hot, then she turned. "Don't get any ideas. I don't know his name, but he's mixed up with Sheena somehow."

  "Who's Sheena?"

  "Deke's girlfriend."

  Wendy squinted. "Deke's girlfriend has a boyfriend?"

  "I don't know—maybe they used to be involved. I saw him drive up to the house this morning. Deke wasn't home. When Sheena answered, she was wearing something slinky, and it looked like they were arguing."

  Liz's eyebrows shot up. "You were spying?"

  Penny's cheeks flamed. "No. I just happened to be looking out the window." She didn't miss the look that Liz exchanged with Wendy. "I'm over Deke," she assured them, although her voice came out strident and thin. "I...I just couldn't believe he'd paint my house pink, that's all."

  A lazy smile curved Liz's mouth. "I don't know, I think it would be kind of poetic if you hooked up with the woman's ex-boyfriend. If Deke can have a plaything, so can you. What's good for the goose, and all that jazz."

  Before Penny could respond, the door opened again and Marie walked in, all smiles, carrying a tray of jewel-toned martinis. "I got an assortment of plain, cherry, and apple, so everyone can help themselves. And I found some of our group!"

  Steve Chasen walked in behind her, followed by two young women whom Marie introduced as friends of hers—Jill and Melissa, both of whom worked at the Hair Affair, and both sporting hairdos as riotous as Marie's. Diane Davidson arrived a few minutes later, and Penny hardly recognized her because she wasn't wearing a running suit. The woman seemed hesitant, so Penny went out of her way to make her feel welcome, introducing her to Liz and Wendy. She tried not to let Steve and Marie's comments about Diane being a witch color her perception of the quiet woman, but she had to admit that she saw her through new eyes. Diane was dressed in a black skirt that swept the floor and a black tunic belted with a long sash embroidered with silver pentagrams. Perhaps coming to the party and wearing a Wiccan symbol was her way of fighting back, of standing up for herself.

  Penny felt a sudden surge of kinship with the woman and vowed to herself that she would try to get to know her better. After all, any woman who scared Deke was worth befriending. Besides, she couldn't imagine that the Wiccan religion was any more terrifying than the frenzied, snake-handling Pentecostals in the small Tennessee town where she'd grown up. Every religion, including voodoo, had its exaggerations and misinterpretations by outsiders.

  "Drink up, boss," Marie urged, handing her a brimming martini glass.

  Penny eyed the liquid warily, trying to gauge her alcohol tolerance based on how long it had been since she'd indulged and the fact that tofu didn't coat one's stomach as well as buttered toast did.

  "Oh, no, you don't," Marie said, wagging a finger. "I don't want to hear anything about free radicals spinning through your body, or how bad alcohol is for your skin."

  "It dehydrates you," Penny muttered.

  Marie sighed. "Just for tonight, let go a little." She leaned in, her eyes sparkling. "I have a feeling that something really exciting is going to happen to you tonight."

  Again, the rumors about Marie having ESP flitted through Penny's mind. Then, inexplicably, her mind bounced to the mystery man and the sexual spark she'd seen in his dark gaze. Was he, by chance, the exciting thing that Marie was forecasting? Penny glanced toward the open door and took a sip of the cold, fruity drink. She winced at the afterburn, but the second sip went down more smoothly...and the third sip more smoothly still.

  By the time Guy arrived with Carrie, his gorgeous "date," Penny had emptied her glass and was starting to feel the minty tingle of the alcohol swimming toward her brain and extremities. Marie replaced Penny's empty glass with a full one, and she had finished half of the second drink when Hazel Means stuck her head inside the room.

  "Hazel!" Penny said happily, gesturing wide. "Welcome to my party!"

  The trim, middle-aged woman smiled, but she looked uncomfortable and fingered her hearing aid; Penny suspected that loud, public places were distracting for her. "I can't stay long, I just came by to wish you the best and to drop off a little something from the souvenir shop." She set a gift bag on the now overflowing table and winked.

  Penny was touched. "Thank you, Hazel. I realize you've known Deke and his family for years, and it's difficult for you to take sides. I appreciate your friendship."

  Hazel leaned in. "Mona is here, and she knows you're here. But Chief Davis is out there checking I.D.s, so maybe Mona will leave you alone."

/>   Penny winced—she didn't want to face her ex-mother-in-law tonight of all nights. "Thanks for the warning."

  "Don't mention it." Hazel patted Penny's arm and turned to go.

  "Oh...Hazel, did you get the mail I dropped off this morning?"

  "I wondered where that mail came from—it looked like it had been trampled."

  "Sorry...I, um, dropped it on the way over."

  "No problem. Thanks."

  "Hazel—who was at the museum this morning meeting with Deke?"

  Hazel shrugged. "No one that I know of. When was Deke there?"

  "I ran into him when I dropped off the mail."

  "Well, he has a key to the office. He comes and goes as he pleases."

  "I know, but I thought I saw someone in the window as I was leaving." Penny pressed her lips together, knowing they were growing looser by the second but unable to stop. "And someone in the cupola."

  Hazel laughed. "You must have been seeing things. The door to the cupola was boarded up years ago for security reasons. Nothing up there but bats and fog."

  Relieved, Penny nodded, but the movement gave her a head rush. "Of course. You're right—it was foggy this morning."

  "I have to run. The tourists will be lined up at the museum early tomorrow."

  Penny waved good-bye, then smiled happily when Ziggy Hines strolled into the room, holding a tall drink and looking well on his way to being sloshed. "You made it, Ziggy."

  "Not yet," he said suggestively, his gaze roaming the room. "But I still have high hopes for the evening." His head stopped. "Who is that woman?"

  Penny turned, not surprised to see him nodding toward Liz on the other side of the room. She was deep in conversation with Wendy.

  "Liz Brockwell," Penny said. "She was my roommate at LSU, and she lives in the city."

  He turned his back and rubbed his hand over his mouth. "I've seen her in my restaurant. Striking woman."

  "I can introduce you," Penny offered.

  "No," he said quickly, moving toward the door. "In fact, I should be going—I have to meet someone."

  Penny smiled—one of the young women he'd left her shop with, no doubt. "Good night, Ziggy. I'll call you when I have more truffles."

  He nodded absently, then glanced toward Liz and left abruptly.

  Penny frowned after him and shook her head. The man was Mr. Macho until faced with the prospect of meeting a woman on his own level. She sipped from her glass and studied Liz and Wendy from across the room, warmth infusing her chest. At one time the three of them had been inseparable, sharing their dreams and aspirations. Yet they had fallen out of touch...grown apart...just like her and Deke. It was funny that she prided herself on having a green thumb, on being able to nurse any plant back to health, yet she allowed her personal relationships to wither on the vine.

  Moisture gathered in her eyes. The alcohol was making her weepy.

  But the energy level of the small party was definitely ratcheting higher as drinks flowed and a waitress brought in trays of greasy appetizers. Friends of friends arrived, some of whom Penny recognized as customers, and soon the room boomed with music and laughter. Penny made the rounds and tried to behave like a happy divorcee. Her mind kept straying to the mystery man who had crossed her path more than once today, but she reasoned that he had probably already hooked up with someone, or maybe he and Sheena had made up.

  "Someone told me you were here."

  Penny had time to school her face into a pleasant mask before turning to face her ex-mother-in-law. Mona Black was a tall, imposing woman with piercing eyes and a pile of black hair on her head, divided by a shock of white in the front. She didn't wear makeup, although admittedly she didn't need it. She was an attractive woman in her sixties, her uniform a black pantsuit, her only ornament a small silver cross at her throat.

  "Hello, Mona," Penny said cheerfully. "Welcome to my divorce party. Can I get you a drink?"

  Disgust filled the woman's eyes. "A party? Don't you have any class?"

  "Too much for your son, apparently. Or haven't you met your new future daughter-in-law?"

  Mona's jaw hardened. "What are you talking about?"

  "Haven't you heard? Deke and Sheena are engaged."

  Mona tried not to react, but Penny knew the woman had been taken by surprise.

  Penny lifted her glass. "Congratulations, Mona. Maybe Sheena will give Deke those grandkids you've always wanted, and they'll have a beautiful tan."

  Loathing glinted in Mona's eyes before she recovered. "I didn't come to discuss Deke. I wanted to warn you that the city council is going to file a restraining order to stop you from turning Mojo into a damn cornfield."

  Penny tensed as years of resentment toward the woman came to a head. "Really? Where was the restraining order, Mona, when Deke painted my house the color of a vagina?"

  Chapter Nine

  Then slice with a sharp object...

  AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, her outburst coincided with a lull in the conversation. Gasps sounded, followed by laughter. The look of horrified indignance on Mona's face was worth the transgression, Penny decided.

  "You're drunk," Mona hissed, then nodded toward Diane Davidson. "I'll leave you to your misfit friends."

  After Mona left, Penny was still reeling over her own behavior. Guy gave her a thumbs-up across the room. Liz and Wendy came over and gave her high fives.

  "Well done," Liz said. "Consider that bridge burned."

  "I can't believe you said that to his mother," Wendy said, laughing.

  "It was false courage," Penny admitted, then drained her glass. "But did it ever feel good."

  Pleased with herself, she went in search of another martini, feeling for the first time since she'd seen the bottoms of Sheena's dirty feet on her white sheets that things were going to work out. That not only would she survive, but she just might thrive. She was stirring another drink when Marie came up to her. "Boss, I need to talk to you."

  "Oh, Marie, this is a great party. Thank you so much for putting it together. I wasn't so sure at first, but I'm really enjoying myself."

  "Good." Marie's smile was tight as she pulled Penny into a secluded corner. "Listen, I just found out something I think you should know."

  "That Deke's getting married? I already know."

  Marie frowned. "Deke's getting married? No—this is different...but related, I suppose."

  Penny used her teeth to pluck an olive from the martini stirrer. "What?"

  "Apparently Deke hid assets during the property settlement. He put some things in Sheena's name and some in her company's name. Cash...a boat...other things."

  Denial sprang to Penny's chest that Deke would purposely cheat her, then she remembered the investments that had allegedly gone bad, how their savings had dwindled. The strange phone call she'd received at home before this had all started about a boat she'd known nothing about and that Deke had sworn was a mistake. Suddenly his tan and designer suits made sense. Anger and dismay rolled over her in waves. "Did Steve tell you this?"

  Marie sent a worried glance his way. "Yes, but he'll be fired if Deke finds out. I thought maybe your attorney could do some research and keep Steve's name out of it."

  Penny was struck mute, but she nodded. Would the betrayal ever end? Would she ever stop feeling stupid? Had her entire marriage been a sham? She felt lightheaded. "I...need some air," she said, then walked out of the room.

  Not that the air out in the bar was clearer. A haze of smoke hung above the throng of bodies jammed into the space. The scent of blackened meat burned her nose. The music was loud, and voices were raised to near crescendo. The alcohol had keened her senses, but she felt numb from the stimulus overload. She turned away from the noise and walked down a hall in search of the ladies' bathroom. Her neck felt sticky from perspiration, and her mind reeled as Marie's words reverberated in her head.

  Deke had plotted to cheat her out of assets they'd built together. Throughout the divorce, she had regarded him as weak when it had come to m
atters of the flesh, and stubborn when it had come to going after the assets he'd wanted, but she wouldn't have dreamed he would stoop to this...to robbing her...to breaking the law. She felt so small and so...used.

  At the end of the hall she spotted the line for the bathroom and opted to wait by the pay phones until the line died down. She needed space around her and time to think, to regroup. She'd call Gloria, of course, but just the thought of several more months of wrangling with Deke was enough to sicken her. Maybe she should have let him have the rental property and given up her business in exchange for cash...moved somewhere else and started over...nearer to her mother...

  God, if she was thinking about her mother, she must be drunk.

  Penny inhaled and exhaled, realized she was still holding her drink, and took a cooling sip. She leaned against the wall and wondered briefly if anyone would miss her if she didn't return to the party...or if she left Mojo.

  On the opposite wall, a white flyer among the dozens stapled and tacked into the wood paneling caught her attention.

  MISSING: Jodi Reynolds, age 17, last seen in New Orleans, September 12.

  In the color picture, the bespectacled woman looked bookish...ordinary. Only her curtain of long blond hair set her apart. Penny looked into the woman's sad eyes and wondered if the person who had created the flyer was a concerned relative, or someone else—an abusive parent, an obsessed lover?

  Penny leaned forward and murmured, "Did someone take you, Jodi Reynolds, or did you disappear on purpose?"

  "Is this a private conversation, or can anyone join in?"

  She swung her head around, and the mystery man was standing there, holding a bottle of beer. And he was still breathtakingly sexy...all muscles and male, leather and Levi's.

  "I, uh..." Her brain was pickled.

  He looked at the flyer she'd been studying. "Do you know her?" His smooth Cajun cadence was like a down pillow for her ears.

  "No. I was just...wondering what might have happened to her."