By Fountains Wild

by Anne Hampson

  The chapel.... Kim recalled the strangeness of his tone when he had pointed it out to her; it was almost as if he had known it would be used. But that must surely mean he had brought her here for no other reason than to marry her, which was ridiculous. No, it was only after he had held her and kissed her that the idea came to him. He had suddenly decided he wanted her for always and, admitting the impossibility of keeping her a prisoner indefinitely, he had offered her marriage.

  ‘We do require a priest,’ she reminded him, quite unable to quell the trembling within her.

  ‘Obviously.’ Julian leant forward again and picked up his cup, his hard eyes never leaving her face. ‘I know of one who’ll come here and marry us. He’s a friend of mine and lives down in Barmouth. As for our witnesses, they’ll have to be the workmen who did all this. They’re hoping for more work from me when the renovations really get started. Work’ s scarce around here, as you can imagine, and they’ll not run the risk of losing it by interfering in something that’s not their affair.’

  ‘You’re telling me they won’t help me?’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘This friend of yours — this parson — is he as great a rogue as you?’ Julian laughed shortly.

  ‘He won’t be a party to forcing you to the altar, if that’s what you’re asking. But I did him a good turn once and for some reason he persists in feeling indebted to me. And although he’ll refuse to marry us, if you object, he’ll then go away and leave us together.’

  ‘You mean ... he wouldn’t — wouldn’t report the matter to anyone?’

  ‘As I say, he will persist in feeling indebted to me,’ was the only reply she received to that.

  Kim swallowed hard. What had Julian done for the man to make him so greatly indebted as this? she wondered, and then impatiently cast the matter aside. It was not in the least important.

  ‘It would be his duty to report it, she faltered. ‘He - that is, his conscience would trouble him. I’m sure it would - it must!’

  The desperation in her voice was not lost on him and a low laugh came from his lips.

  ‘You don’t believe a word you’re saying, do you, Kim?’ He put down his cup and, rising, came round to her. He reached for her hand and pulled her up, close against him. ‘You’re too desirable, my lovely Kim. I can’t let you go. You’re mine, whether you like it or not. This thing began with revenge, but now I want you for my wife—’

  ‘And in three or four days’ time you’ll be wanting some other woman for your wife! Vicky—’

  ‘Forget Vicky,’ he returned roughly. ‘I’ve told you, that’s all in the past. I want you - and I intend to have you.’ Before Kim had time to resist he was kissing her, with the same brutality as before. He seemed intent on hurting her, on convincing her of his desire, and yet, for some inexplicable reason, Kim gained the odd impression that he was not enjoying it at all. He must be, she tried to tell herself, otherwise he wouldn’t do it. But what of his other kisses — those gentle persuasive kisses that had surprised a weakness in her she would never have believed she possessed? His mouth left hers at last and she put a quivering hand to his lips. Her lovely eyes shone with suppressed tears and her whole body trembled against him. Was it imagination, or had his eyes softened?

  ‘Why do you kiss me like this?’ she whispered, realizing she was free but making no move to put any distance between them. ‘Do - do you enjoy hurting me?’ No change in his expression, but Kim was drawn almost tenderly into his arms and his lips found hers again. The contrast to his previous treatment; of her was staggering. She felt the gentle caress of his mouth on her cheek and hair, and then on her lips. Kim was too bewildered to respond, even had she been tempted to do so. ‘You’re a strange man,’ was all she said when at length he held her gently from him. ‘And you’re a strange girl, my lovely Kim—’

  ‘I’m not your Kim!’

  ‘Oh, yes, you are, make no mistake about that,’ he said inflexibly even though the softness remained in his eyes. ‘As I say, you’re a strange girl. What made you lend yourself to that stupid little plot?’

  ‘I’ve said — I thought Vicky needed help.’

  ‘Do you think Vicky’s worth troubling about?’

  She glanced up quickly.

  ‘You mean,’ she said impulsively, ‘that you knew all her failings?’ Too late she realized her disloyalty to Vicky, but she made no attempt to amend her words.

  ‘I knew all her failings,’ came the instant admission, and Kim’s eyes flickered in bewilderment.

  ‘And yet you wanted to marry her?’

  ‘I’ve already answered that question, Kim. I did want to marry her.’

  She shook her head.

  ‘I don’t understand you. But I suppose love is like that. I mean, you can love people in spite of all their faults.’ Julian made no comment; he merely bent his head and touched her cheek with his lips. Then he kissed her on the mouth.

  ‘Are these kisses more to your liking?’ he said in a bantering tone. The crinkly lines of humour fanned out at the corners of his eyes and Kim recalled wondering if, to women, they were one of his attractions. ‘Well, Kim? I want an answer.’

  ‘I don’t understand you,’ she repeated, and then fell silent. He was holding her close and she became profoundly conscious of his nearness. She had been kissed before, at parties and dances, but never had she allowed herself to be drawn into an intimate situation with any man.

  Determined as she was to remain single, flirtations and lovemaking were the last forms of diversion on which she would waste her time.

  ‘You haven’t answered me,’ Julian reminded her. ‘I’m determined to have an answer.’

  ‘I don’t like your kisses at all!’ she flashed, and his face darkened.

  ‘That’s a pity, for you’re going to have to put up with them.’ And then, deliberately, ‘The second kind are for a wife, Kim, so it’s for you to choose.’

  So the first were for her if she refused to marry him. He was inhuman! Her eyes blazed with hate as she said,

  ‘I’ll marry you - but I’ll never have any feelings other than hatred and contempt for you! You’re going to regret the day you ever set eyes on me!’

  The dark stain of fury crept into his face and his eyes glinted like cold steel.

  ‘I’ve already regretted it,’ he snarled. ‘If it hadn’t been for you I’d have been marrying the girl I love!’

  Strangely those words sobered her. Subconsciously she had felt he had never loved Vicky, despite the fact of his engagement to her, but now he’d admitted it. And he seemed genuinely distressed, underneath the fury which was directed against herself. Kim sensed a hurt and suddenly wished with all her heart she had never interfered in his life ... and this time her regret had nothing whatever to do with the terrible plight which she herself was in.

  They were married on the Tuesday and for two days Kim remained frigidly silent, speaking no more than half a dozen words to him the whole time. Julian seemed not to mind at all that she never answered him when he spoke and he went about cheerfully, notebook in hand, jotting down what alterations were to take place in the various rooms. Kim had the choice of being locked in the sitting-room, or accompanying him, for since his discovery that she was capable of breaking her promise, he had changed his mind about allowing her freedom of movement after the wedding. For the first two days she stayed in the sitting-room, brooding dismally on her folly in rushing so thoughtlessly to the rescue of her friend. And it did not help to know that Vicky herself was not suffering in the least; in fact, she was totally unaware of the plight into which Kim had fallen. For the only people who had been informed of her whereabouts were her employer and Carole.

  When first Julian had asked her to write to them immediately after the wedding, Kim had stubbornly refused, declaring that a search would be made for her and she would even yet escape him.

  ‘The police are bound to find me,’ she declared.

  ‘I don’t see how they can. However, supposi
ng they do - what are you going to tell them?’

  ‘The truth,’ she flashed, and Julian laughed at her.

  ‘Do you really think they’ll believe you?’

  ‘I’ll make them— Oh, yes, I will, so you needn’t look so sceptical!’

  ‘Tell me, what will you say?’ His obvious amusement infuriated her.

  ‘I shall say you abducted me!’

  ‘And forced you into marriage?’ He was still regarding her with extreme amusement. ‘You came willingly to the altar, my dear. We have the vicar’s word for that. Had you any objection to the marriage you would surely have told him.’ A pause, but she had nothing to say and he went on, ‘No, Kim, there’s only one thing you can do. Write to your employer and tell him you’ve resigned, and write to your friend and get her to send all your belongings on here. I’ll see the letters before you seal them,’ he added deliberately, and although everything in her rebelled, Kim had no alternative but to capitulate, for she required her clothes badly. Her car would be sent on later, Julian told her, adding,

  ‘Not that you’ll need it, for you won’t be going anywhere except with me.’

  What would Carole think? Kim wondered. Undoubtedly the news would come as a shock to her, knowing Kim’s views on marriage. But although she would consider Kim’s change of heart most odd, there was nothing in the letter that could in any way arouse her suspicions.

  On the third day Kim became so bored that when he said he would be working outside she chose to go with him.

  ‘I hope it’s not with the intention of trying to run away,’ he said warningly. ‘Because you won’t get far; and if you put me to the trouble of bringing you back you’ll remember it for a long while.’

  Kim swallowed the fury in her throat.

  ‘Why don’t you put a chain round my ankle!’ she flared. ‘Just how long is this farce to continue?’

  ‘Until I’m absolutely sure you won’t leave me,’ came the quiet and significant reply, and Kim’s face flooded with colour. His meaning was unmistakable and her small fists clenched. She could only fervently pray that his hopes would never materialize. They walked about the grounds and in spite of her husband’s strict surveillance Kim actually enjoyed the stroll, for the mountain air was fresh and sharp, bringing a healthy flush to her cheeks while at the same time making them tingle.

  The summits of the mountains remained covered with snow, but each day the sun shone and as the vegetation on the lower slopes became uncovered it made a striking contrast to the towering whiteness above. Here and there the slopes were wooded, and on these foothills lay the thousand or so acres on which Julian had his sheep.

  ‘Not so weird and creepy in the sunshine, is it?’ commented Julian conversationally, stopping to jot down something in his book. Kim stood docilely by his side and said nothing. He glanced down at her quizzically. ‘Might as well talk, Kim; you can’t remain dumb for ever.’

  She turned to take in the view over towards Cader Idris, with its striking outline, looking now like icing on a Christmas cake. Precipices raked its sides here and there, and little streams glistened in the sunshine. Julian moved on and she kept by his side. The grounds were sparsely stocked and what few bushes there were had become stunted and choked by weeds. The lake would have been pretty, but it was surrounded by bog where rushes and moor grasses flourished to the exclusion of all else. They stood looking over towards the lake and suddenly two birds flew up and began jostling in the sky above their heads. Completely forgetting her frigid dignity, Kim exclaimed,

  ‘Look, Julian! What are they?’

  ‘A raven and a peregrine.’

  ‘Are they fighting?’

  ‘I don’t think it’s ever been discovered whether this is combat or merely play.’

  ‘But would two birds of different species play together?’

  Julian shook his head doubtfully, but went on to say again that no one had ever actually found out. Silence fell between them again, Julian concerning himself with the numerous notes he was making and Kim resuming her icy detachment, inwardly furious that she could have dropped it, even for a few seconds.

  ‘I think we’ll go back,’ said Julian. ‘There’s a cold wind blowing up.’ They had descended a flight of steps and facing them was a long narrow walk enclosed on both sides by decaying walls.

  ‘What is it?’ Kim asked, puzzled.

  ‘Paternoster Walk — so it says on the plan. Can you imagine the monks walking up and down here, meditating?’

  Kim shivered; there was something definitely eerie about the walk. ‘How long are we going to live in this place?’

  ‘You don’t like it?’

  ‘Like it?’ she exclaimed. ‘I hate it!’

  ‘The rooms we’re using are comfortable enough. And as for the grounds, well, they should be quite attractive when they’ve been done.’ ‘It’ll take years.’ She was walking behind him, but he stepped aside so that she could go on in front — where he could keep an eye on her.

  ‘Not it. I’m having it landscaped and I want it done quickly.’

  ‘Are you going to manage this hotel yourself?’ she asked curiously. Not by any stretch of imagination could she see Julian in the hotel business. To her surprise he didn’t answer. Instead, he changed the subject.

  ‘We’re going to see my aunt tomorrow,’ he said, and a coolness crept into his voice. ‘I shall expect you to act as a bride in love should.’ They had reached the steps at the farther end of the walk and he fell in beside her as they mounted them.

  ‘Then you’re in for a disappointment,’ she flashed. ‘I wouldn’t know

  how to act as a bride in love should.’ It

  surprised her that he had an aunt for, somehow, she had formed the impression that he had no relatives. Had he any others? she began to wonder. Had he brothers and sisters?

  ‘You’ll let me down to your cost,’ he snapped, striding towards the front door.

  Let him down? What an odd way of putting it. They entered the dust-covered hall and went up to their rooms. As she passed the door opposite the sitting-room Kim’s eyes flickered curiously. There was something very odd about that room being left when all the rest of this part of the wing had been renovated.

  Nothing more was said about this aunt of his until lunch time when they sat down to the meal Julian had prepared. Then he brought up the subject again, saying they would start out early the following morning — unless there happened to be a heavy fall of snow during the night, in which case the higher road would be impassable. But this was most unlikely, as the sky was far too clear.

  ‘She’s really my godmother,’ he went on to explain. ‘My parents, friends of hers, were killed in a train crash and although she was a widow she brought me up, along with her own son, who’s a year younger than I. For a while now she’s wanted to see me married and it will give her great pleasure to meet you.’

  Kim looked up, staring at him wonderingly, for there was a strange softness in his voice and as she saw his expression she realized with a little sense of shock that he had a very real fondness for this godmother of his.

  ‘Where does she live?’ she asked, her curiosity overcoming her determination to retain her frigid silence.

  ‘On Anglesey, at Penmon, a tiny village close to Beaumaris.’

  ‘Is she Welsh?’

  Julian shook his head.

  ‘She went there when she retired - went to live in the little stone cottage which has been in the family for years, a sort of holiday cottage. It’s pretty; you’ll like it.’ His coolness returned as he went on, ‘She’s sacrificed much for me and I won’t have her upset by any doubts as to my marriage being a happy one. For that reason you’ll forget your animosity and act as though you love me, understand?’ She made no reply and he added quietly, ‘It’s fortunate that, although I told her I was engaged, I never mentioned Vicky’s name, otherwise there’d have been some difficulty. Also, it’s fortunate that I never took Vicky to see her.’ He paused, watching Kim’s set face clo
sely. ‘I can’t profess to read your thoughts, Kim, but I’m warning you — you’ll disobey me to your cost! ’

  Her mouth compressed. To be ordered, to be imprisoned, to be a slave to a man’s desires ... all these spelt marriage, that state into which she had so often vowed never to enter. Freedom! That’s what she had lived for — freedom to do exactly as she liked, taking orders from no one. Freedom was her very life blood, and yet here she was, having to do as this man, this stranger, ordered. Very well, she would not argue with him about the attitude she must adopt before his aunt. No, let him take her there, expecting, with his customary arrogant confidence, to be obeyed. Here was one small chance of revenge. Kim meant to utilize it to the full.

  ‘We could follow the coast road,’ Julian said over breakfast the next morning. ‘But the one through the mountains is prettier, so we’ll take that.’

  Kim retained her silence and no more was said throughout the meal. When it was over she went into the bathroom to wash her hands and to her surprise Julian did not lock the door.

  ‘I’ll get our coats,’ he said, and went into the bedroom.

  After washing and drying her hands Kim opened the door slowly and peeped out. No sign of her husband; her eyes settled on that door and stealthily she moved along the carpeted landing towards it. She turned the handle; the door was locked and Kim bent down to look through the keyhole. She hadn’t known quite what to expect. All she did know was that her curiosity had been that the desire to see into that room had been growing with each day that passed. For not once during the days preceding their marriage had there been evidence of Julian’s having slept in the sitting-room. True, he was always up first and could have removed the bedding, or the rugs which he must have used - but where had he put them?

  Kim remained there, examining the contents of the room as best she could. A bedroom, newly renovated like the rest of the flat. A bedroom that had been slept in, for the covers were thrown back. A trembling little sigh broke from her. Julian had ordered the preparation of two bedrooms, not one, and this could only mean that he had never intended the villainy with which he had threatened her. And how odd that she had reached this conclusion on the very morning of their arrival, when they were both in the bedroom. But when she had mentioned it to Julian his reaction had been calculated to leave her in no doubt at all; he meant to have her. And yet he didn’t stay. Instead, he offered her marriage.... Kim’s thoughts flashed to Vicky, and to her own initial doubts as to Julian’s being in love with her. He had said so, and at the time Kim believed him. Now she again had her doubts.