By Fountains Wild

by Anne Hampson

  ‘I’m sleeping in there from now on,’ she quivered, feeling in her pocket for a handkerchief. There wasn’t very much conviction in her tone, but her eyes flashed defiance, despite her tears.

  ‘Are you indeed?’ There was a faint lift of his brow as he added, in a very soft voice, ‘And what sort of a husband would I be to submit to that?’

  Kim brought out the handkerchief and dried her eyes.

  ‘I’ve decided to have a divorce—’

  ‘You’ve decided to have a divorce?’ he interrupted, his eyes opening wide. ‘Don’t I have any say in it?’

  Kim frowned. The situation appeared to be getting slightly out of hand.

  ‘You love Vicky, you’ve said so several times, so I’m willing for us to have a divorce.’ She kept the handkerchief to her eyes, to hide her expression, but he remained silent so long that she at last drew it away and looked up at him. ‘It’s the sensible thing to do; I’m sure you’ll agree with me about that?’ He still said nothing, but studied her closely, a most curious glint in his eye.

  ‘Have you given a thought to Aunt Sophy?’ he inquired coldly at last.

  His question startled her. How could she have forgotten about his aunt?

  ‘We’ll have to do it after - after— I mean, later on, won’t we?’

  ‘There’ll be no divorce between you and me, Kim,’ he said inflexibly. ‘So you can dismiss the matter entirely from your mind.’

  He still desired her then, despite his love for Vicky? What sort of a man was he, to want one woman for her body and another for— For what? Kim shook her head bewilderedly. What possible interest could he have in a girl like Vicky?

  ‘I don’t understand you,’ was all she could find to say, and a faint smile touched his lips.

  ‘But then you don’t try, do you, my dear?’ Reaching for her hand, he drew her to him and kissed her gently on the mouth. ‘My lovely Kim—’ His kisses became less gentle as his ardour increased. ‘Separate rooms? Divorce?’ His tones were low and vibrant and the fire in his eyes left nothing to her imagination. ‘You’re far too desirable - far too desirable for me to ever let you go!’

  CHAPTER NINE

  What did he mean, she hadn’t tried to understand him? Kim was making the breakfast, but her mind was grappling with questions she had asked herself many times before. How did one begin to understand a man as strange and unfathomable as her husband? His action in bringing her away; it had stemmed from revenge and ended in marriage - marriage because, by his own admission, he wanted her for ever. He’d never tire of her, he had said. Then there was his bald admission that he still loved Vicky. There was his affection for his aunt and his generosity to Neil and his wife. And lastly there was his infinite gentleness—

  Apart from those first cruel kisses, demonstrating what she must expect if she refused to marry him, his treatment of her had been that of a tender, loving husband. True, there had been the odd display of impatience at his failure to enforce complete surrender, but Kim was generous enough to admit that that was understandable, especially with a man of such forceful personality as Julian. Defeat in any way must be extremely galling to him.

  Kim glanced up as he entered the dinette and sat down at the table. She brought over the bacon and eggs and the coffee.

  ‘Good morning,’ he said, and smiled a little quizzically at her. ‘This looks appetizing.’ Kim sat down opposite to him, making no effort to return either his greeting or his smile, and he went on, ‘I take it you have abandoned the idea of going out with this Brian today.’

  ‘Oh? Why should you have reached that conclusion?’ Kim picked up her glass of orange juice and began sipping it, her eyes fixed challengingly on her husband’s face.

  ‘I gathered you might have the sense to be prudent.’

  ‘Your threats don’t frighten me,’ she said, and the quizzical smile appeared again.

  ‘I can frighten you - and you know it.’ A pause and then, ‘We’ll go out together today. Where would you like to go?’

  Angrily she said,

  ‘You’ll do anything to get your own way, won’t you?’

  A sigh of exasperation left his lips. He helped himself to bacon and eggs and continued to eat his meal in silence for a while.

  ‘I’ve some lists of houses in my study.. Perhaps you’d like to go around and have a look at one or two of them?’ Until the coming of Vicky, Kim had actually been looking forward to viewing houses, but now it was the last thing she wanted to do. She shook her head and her sudden dejection brought an odd flicker to her husband’s eyes. And then, to her utter astonishment, he reached across the table and covered her hand with his. ‘We’ll go on a ramble — that’s what you were intending, you said? How would you like to climb Cader Idris?’

  ‘But ... Vicky?’ Why mention her, when obviously Julian had no intention of spending his time with her today? Kim’s heart fluttered even though she felt ashamed of herself for this lack of restraint on her emotions. But Julian’s touch was so gentle - there was tenderness, even, in the way his fingers caressed the back of her hand. No doubt at all that, physically, she attracted him as no other woman ever could. If only she could appeal to his finer instincts...

  ‘Vicky will find something to do,’ he said indifferently, and Kim’s eyes flew to his.

  ‘I wish I could understand you,’ she said bewilderedly, and to her surprise he laughed.

  ‘You will, my dear - when you decide to try hard enough.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘We must start out as early as we can,’ he said, taking her acceptance for granted. ‘Have you something in that we can use for a packed lunch?’ Instinctively Kim opened her mouth to protest, to refuse to go with him, but instead she found herself nodding - eagerly. Perhaps, out there in the wild mountains, he would forget Vicky and they could recapture the comradeship existing between them before the arrival of his former fiancee. ‘Good, then we’ll get started as soon as possible.’ He went on to remind her that she must make her apologies to Brian, and Kim merely gave a rather mumbled ‘yes’, for she felt there was nothing to be gained by informing Julian that she had in fact politely turned down the young man’s invitation immediately it was extended to her.

  Vicky was sitting out on the verandah when Julian came from the hotel. He was carrying a rucksack, and in any case it was clear from his attire that he was going off for the day.

  ‘Oh, Julian, there you are—’ She stopped and Kim, who was in the hall talking to Margery, listened intently for her husband’s response.

  ‘Is everything all right now?’ Margery was asking anxiously. ‘It must be, if you’re going off on this tramp together.’ A slight hesitation and then, ‘You’re not having a divorce, Kim, are you?’

  Kim smiled, flattered by the pleading in Margery’s voice. She felt almost happy to be able to say,

  ‘No, Margery, we’re not having a divorce.’ She tried to listen to the conversation taking place outside, but Margery spoke again.

  ‘Did - did you have one big row last night?’

  ‘It was a rather one-sided row, Margery,’ she returned with a grimace.

  ‘I expect it was, for Julian looked like thunder.’ She shook her head in a gesture of perplexity. ‘I can’t understand him; he’s always so different with us - so kind. Why should he be like this with you, I wonder ...?’ And suddenly her expression changed; her eyes travelled from Kim to the door, and then widened strangely. She too seemed intent on the conversation outside and silence fell between them as both girls listened.

  ‘—but, Julian, what am I to do all day?’ Kim could well imagine the pout on Vicky’s lovely lips and she waited breathlessly for Julian’s reply. But he must have been aware that Kim might overhear because he spoke in a very low voice and Kim bit her lip in disappointment as she failed to hear even one word clearly.

  ‘I’d better go,’ she said, and smiled at her friend. ‘We’ll be back for tea. Cheerio.’

  ‘ ’Bye — have a nice day.’

  Vicky turned a
s Kim came out, and although she smiled enchantingly at her, Kim felt it was entirely for Julian’s benefit, and that a deep antagonism lay simmering beneath the surface. How was this all going to end? Kim wondered as she and Julian said good-bye to Vicky and left her sitting there, looking sorry for herself. Would Julian finish with Vicky when, in less than a fortnight’s time, she left the hotel and returned home? Until her coming Julian had seemed content, resigned to the fact of having lost her — but then he had believed she didn’t want him. The situation was different now; he knew Vicky regretted having jilted him, knew he could have her back just whenever he wished. He had firmly maintained that there would be no divorce. Was that a genuine statement - or one produced on the spur of the moment in order to remove Kim’s excuse for occupying the spare room?

  The question teased her and as they walked along in silence she began to wish she had not come out with him after all.

  However, Julian himself seemed quite determined to make the day a memorable one and his quiet conversation soon drew her out and a strange happiness and contentment took possession of her.

  They were in walkers’ country, with rough tracks leading now and then to outlying farms. The moorlands were wild and the mountains often barren, and as they began to climb, and the track became more steep, Julian took her hand; she was strong and agile enough to get along on her own, yet she felt comforted that he should offer her assistance like this.

  The air was hot and sultry, a typical August day, and on the mountains a mist hovered for a while, veiling their summits.

  They had been walking for about an hour when Julian suggested a rest, for they had now come to a delightful part of the climb, where the path skirted the hollow of a lovely highland lake. The mist still obscured the mountain peaks, but the sun was trying to break through and Julian assured her it would succeed before very long.

  "We’ll sit here.’ He spread a light ground sheet on the rough grass and they sat down. Opening the rucksack, Julian took out one of the flasks and handed it to Kim. ‘I’ve been wanting to do some climbing ever since I bought Strata Cadilla,’ he said, waiting for her to pour the coffee. ‘We must do more of this, once we’ve got ourselves settled in a home of our own.’

  ‘We’re really going to live in Wales, then?’ Kim handed him his coffee, noticing his faintly amused smile at the eagerness with which she asked the question.

  ‘Can it be only last night that you were threatening me with divorce?’ he asked, in almost teasing tones. Kim coloured and looked away, over the lake to the contorted, volcanic massif behind. Below the crests and high above the tree line stretched the vast expanse of grassy hillside, sometimes gashed and split by jagged rock faces, sometimes broken up by highland lakes and areas of heather fell, or marshlands overrun by

  reeds and rushes and other moisture-loving plants.

  ‘I thought that perhaps you wanted it — the way you’ve been with Vicky since she came.’

  ‘How have I been with Vicky?’ he asked curiously.

  She turned, but his expression was guarded. What an odd question, she thought, wondering for a moment how to answer it.

  ‘You’ve paid her a good deal of attention,’ she replied simply, her eyes fixed on the lake, where a sandpiper flew low over it, almost trailing its wings in the clear shimmering water.

  ‘Does it matter to you very much, Kim?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ she answered hastily, and then, abruptly reverting to the subject of their future home, ‘Where are these houses you have on your lists?’

  ‘Various places. There’s one bungalow that sounds particularly attractive. It’s in the hills above Dolgellau - on its own but not too isolated. There are good roads, electricity and the rest. Outside there’s a sort of studio. A painter friend of the owner lived there. It’s quite a size and I thought it would do for the gardener and his wife. We’ll need a gardener,’ he added with a grimace, ‘for there’s half a hillside with the place! If we had a couple the wife could help in the house.’

  Kim turned again, her eyes bright with interest.

  ‘What’s it like? Is it new?’

  ‘Four years old. The owners have decided to emigrate — they’ve only one daughter and she’s married a Canadian, so her parents are going to settle there too.’

  ‘How big is it?’

  He smiled at that and Kim glanced down to where her coffee cup lay on the grass beside her. She picked it up and put it to her lips.

  ‘Four bedrooms. Should do us — for a while at least.’

  ‘For a while ...’ Was he expecting a large family, then? Odd, she thought, that the idea of children had always seemed such a bore. They took away a woman’s freedom, requiring so much of her time that she scarcely had any leisure to do the things she really wanted to do. But what were the things a woman really wanted to do? Not so very long ago Kim would have scoffed at the idea of spending her time caring for a husband and family, but now ...

  ‘I’d like to go and see it,’ she told him quietly. ‘It sounds nice.’

  ‘We’ll go tomorrow, on our way to Anglesey.’

  ‘We’re going to Aunt Sophy’s tomorrow?’

  He nodded, his face suddenly grave.

  ‘She’s very ill, Kim, very ill indeed. That’s why I won’t have her upset in any way. You do understand?’

  ‘Yes, Julian, I understand.’ She knew what he meant. The last time they had visited his aunt they had quarrelled all the way there, and Kim had been quite unable to treat him with anything but icy indifference, even though she was acutely aware of the rather odd and anxious glances Aunt Sophy had cast at her from time to time. ‘I’ll be very careful,’ she promised, feeling contrite even though she blamed Julian entirely for what had happened.

  Their coffee finished, they were soon moving on again. Their way took them through gentle valleys and over bracken-covered slopes, past highland lakes and cwms, always climbing, on into the high peaks. Occasionally they would meet other climbers and greetings would pass. But as they gained height it became a lonely world, a world of cliffs and crags, moulded by sun and rain and ice, but born of the violent outpourings of lava on a gigantic scale.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Julian asked as they began the steep ascent to the col which formed the pass between Gader Idris proper and Tyrau Mawr, its westward continuation.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine.’ She felt exhilarated and glowing with health. ‘This is a steep part though.’

  ‘We’ve about eight hundred feet of it,’ Julian warned, extending a hand to her. ‘Say the word when you want a rest.’ He was smiling, looking happier than she had ever seen him. And he too was glowing with health; his face seemed more bronzed than ever ... and more handsome, she thought, unconsciously catching her breath as those laugh lines appeared at the corners of his eyes.

  ‘Oh, at last!’ Kim was gasping a little as they reached the col. ‘That was stiff, Julian!’

  ‘We’ll have another sit down, then,’ he said, once again taking the sheet from his rucksack and spreading it on the ground. ‘Lunch?’ he queried, ‘or is it too early?’

  ‘It’s almost twelve,’ she said, glancing at her watch. ‘It’s a little early, don’t you think? - or perhaps you’re hungry?’ She was wearing slacks and a sweater and she drew her knees up under her chin. ‘I’ll do whatever you want to do.’

  ‘We’ll wait a while.’ He sat down beside her and put an arm round her shoulders.

  ‘It’s so peaceful,’ she said, half turning towards him. ‘I feel we’ve the whole world to ourselves.’

  ‘Mountains make you feel like that,’ he agreed, narrowing his eyes against the slanting rays of the sun as they broke through the mist and cloud. ‘It’s the isolation, the remoteness. I enjoy it. I often used to wander off on my own, when we were on Anglesey. We used to spend the summer holidays at the cottage when Neil and I were small. There are no mountains on the island, but it’s possible to find the remote places, especially on Holyhead. There are some spectacular cliffs
there and I liked to wander along them on my own.’

  ‘Didn’t Neil ever want to go with you?’ she asked, suddenly curious to know more about the childhood of this strange husband of hers, this man whose character seemed to be built up of a whole series of contradictory traits.

  ‘Neil and I never had much in common. His friends were not to my taste, nor mine to his.’ Julian paused, and gave a tiny sigh. ‘It was a pity, really, for there’s only a year’s difference in our ages and we could have been good pals. We’re closer now than we’ve ever been, but I’m afraid it’s only come about as a result of the accident; However, Neil has changed, and that’s something for which I’m extremely thankful.’ The last sentence was spoken with slight reluctance, but as Kim was already in possession of most of the facts leading up to the accident, he probably felt there was no sense in trying to cover anything up now.

  ‘Did you have lots of friends - when you were young, I mean?’ she asked, for somehow she sensed a loneliness about him which she had never noticed until this moment.

  ‘I had my share,’ he returned to her surprise. ‘If I were alone it was from choice. When I went away on holidays I usually went with several other youths of my own age.’ He turned his head and grinned ruefully at her. ‘That was a long time ago. I’m quite an old man now.’

  ‘You’re not — of course you’re not!’ Her words came swiftly and he laughed,

  ‘You don’t call thirty-five old?’

  ‘No, it’s not old.’

  A pleasant silence fell between them after that and then Julian suggested they go on again.