by Anne Hampson
‘We can have our lunch when we reach the summit,’ he decided. ‘We haven’t far to go now.’
The rough track by-passed the dark splintered summit of the secondary height, and then suddenly they were on the crest of a steep rock face, and then the ridge narrowed even more alarmingly as the ground began to drop away into a great black void on the opposite side. Above, a swirling vapour obscured the top of the mountain and altogether the aspect was bleak, to say the least.
‘Here we are, at last!’ They were standing on the summit of Pen-y-Gadair, the topmost peak of Cader Idris.
‘What a pity about the mist,’ Kim observed disappointedly. ‘You were wrong when you said the sun would come out, Julian.’
‘It did try,’ he reminded her. He looked all around and then up at the mist and cloud. ‘I’m not sure it won’t oblige, even yet. It’ll be disappointing if we have to go down again without seeing the view. It’s marvellous from here.’
As they ate their lunch the mist began to curl and writhe about them and Julian turned to Kim with a half-smile of satisfaction as it became evident that the sun would eventually disperse the shroud enveloping the mountain and surrounding landscape.
Other climbers reached the top and the illusion of having the world to themselves was lost.
Their lunch finished, they packed everything away in the rucksack and were standing, irresolute, watching the mist and cloud disappear but wondering just how long it would be before it was clear enough for them to appreciate the view.
‘What are those mountains?’ Kim asked at length as a great ridge
began gradually to appear from out of the mist.
‘Beyond the valley? First you have the Arenigs and then Rhobell Fawr. The next is Moel Fammau and then you see the Arans and the Berwyns— Look, the sun’s really coming through now.’
Within ten minutes the whole area was clear, and Kim gasped. In all directions there were great ice-worn cwms and jagged ridges, precipitous cliffs and rock-strewn slopes.
‘Look at this lovely green valley. It seems to be right at our feet.’ Kim pointed down and Julian came close and took her arm, pulling her back, for she was far too close to the edge. Beyond the valley were grassy foothills, broken here and there by glimpses of the beautiful Mawddach estuary, stretching away to the sea.
‘Down there is a lake,’ Julian urged her to the edge again but held on to her arm. ‘Llyn Cau.’ The tiny lake had a sombre aspect, lying as it did in the dismal shadows of the encircling cliffs. From the dark voids around it came the weird cries of the choughs, adding to the eeriness of the lake and its immediate surroundings. ‘The most dark and sombre lake in Wales,’ Julian supplied as Kim shuddered against him. Another deep cwm was occupied by the much more beautiful Llyn-y-Gadair. ‘Well,’ said Julian at last, ‘have you had enough?’
Kim turned her face up and gave him a serene and lovely smile.
‘I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, Julian,’ she said sincerely. ‘It’s been a wonderful day.’
‘It’s not finished yet,’ he reminded her with mock grimness. ‘We’ve to go all the way down now.’
They took their time, stopping at a farm for refreshments, and making various detours so that Julian could show Kim various features of interest. Therefore it was rather late when they arrived back at the hotel and Julian suggested they have dinner in the hotel dining-room with the guests.
‘It will save you the trouble of preparing it. I’m sure you don’t feel like cooking a meal after the strenuous day you’ve had.’
So considerate of him. This was the Julian known by Margery and Neil, and by Aunt Sophy. This was the Julian who had already disturbed Kim in a way she would never have believed possible.
Kim dressed carefully in a lime green dress of embroidered cotton. She wore a matching band round her hair and a slim gold bracelet on her wrist. Julian took her hand as she entered the sitting-room where he was waiting for her, and examined her bracelet.
‘I haven’t bought you a single piece of jewellery yet, have I, my beautiful Kim?’
‘My wedding ring,’ she submitted, strangely without the tartness she would normally have allowed to creep into those particular words.
‘That’s not jewellery. I shall buy you something tomorrow. Perhaps you would like an engagement ring?’ And when she did not answer, ‘Think about it and you shall have what you choose.’
Many eyes followed Kim as she walked with Julian down the length of the dining-room to the table by the window, which Margery, on learning of their intention of dining with the guests, had said must be reserved for them. Vicky was already there, sitting at a table a few feet away. She rose at once and joined them.
‘Oh, I’m so glad you’re having dinner down here, Julian,’ she purred, completely ignoring Kim; ‘Have you had a pleasant day? It was dreadfully foggy, wasn’t it?’ ‘There was a slight mist.’ Julian put a hand to his mouth, suppressing a yawn. ‘It soon cleared, though. Yes, Vicky, we had a most pleasant day.’
‘You haven’t asked me what I’ve been doing,’ she pouted, still ignoring Kim’s presence at the table. ‘I’ve been on my own all day — I thought you’d have tried to be back in time to have tea with me. You’ve had it with me every day since I came.’
Kim’s eyes glinted dangerously. Vicky was acting just as if Julian belonged to her still, just as if she had a right to expect him to pay her attentions. There must be some foundation for her attitude, though, concluded Kim, casting her husband a narrowed and almost hostile glance. He had given Vicky encouragement in plenty, no doubt of that. And even now, with his wife sitting there, being treated almost as an intruder by Vicky, Julian made no attempt to put his ex-fiancee in her place! The pleasant day they had spent together, the renewal of the comradeship that had come to them during the past few weeks, these were forgotten in her rising anger and it was only by the greatest effort at control that she was able to remain at the table and have her meal with them.
They were waiting for the sweet course when Margery came up and spoke to Julian.
‘There’s a man on the phone,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s something about the lighting in the billiards room. He said you’d complained about it and he wants to make an appointment to have a look at it.’
‘This is an odd time to ring,’ Julian frowned. ‘I can’t be bothered with him now—’
‘He’s rung twice before,’ Margery explained. ‘I thought you’d be in about four and I told him to ring back — so perhaps you’d better have a word with him.’
‘Of course, if that’s what happened.’ Julian excused himself and went to the telephone, leaving the two girls together.
No sooner was he out of earshot than Vicky said, leaning over the table,
‘Kim, I’ve been wanting to talk to you all week. I’d have come up to your flat, but Julian said I mustn’t. Why have you been avoiding me?’ No venom in her voice; just a subtle note of pleading which was one of Vicky’s most effective weapons. ‘I did so want to speak to you.’
‘Naturally I’ve been avoiding you,’ Kim almost snapped. ‘As for your wanting to speak to me, I can’t think of anything which I would want to discuss with you.’
‘But there’s something I want to discuss,’ went on Vicky urgently,
glancing towards the door. ‘It’s about a divorce. You don’t want Julian, do you? You always said you’d never marry. Please give him up. After all, it wasn’t very nice of you to marry my fiancee, was it?’
‘Nice—’ Kim stared speechlessly at her. Vicky’s long lashes swept down in an enchanting movement and her expression was hidden. ‘That’s gratitude if you like! The way you talk I might have enjoyed being carried off!’
‘I’m sorry, Kim,’ Vicky used her hands in a little gesture of contrition. ‘It must have been awful for you — and I expect it still is. So you must be eager to give him up. And as I want him back ...’ Her big eyes filled with tears, but Kim was quite immune. Besides, she was still smarting under the treatment she had only a sho
rt while ago received from Vicky. ‘Say you’ll give him up, Kim, please. I can’t live without him!’ The tears were very close; out came a dainty scented handkerchief and Vicky sniffed delicately into it. ‘It isn’t as if you love him, and I told him that.’
‘You told Julian I don’t love him?’ Kim frowned in recollection. ‘I can’t remember having said such a thing.’
‘Well, you didn’t deny it - and anyway, you can only hate him for doing that dreadful thing to you.’ Another sniff into her handkerchief and then, ‘Promise me, Kim, that you’ll let me have him back.’
For some ridiculous reason Kim had an almost irrepressible desire to laugh. If only Julian could know how he was being discussed, could hear Vicky asking for him back, just as if he himself had no say whatever in the matter!
‘What makes you so sure Julian would agree to a divorce?’ Kim inquired curiously.
‘He would, because he knows now he’s made a mistake.’
‘Does he?’ Kim’s voice was like chipped ice. ‘Did he tell you that?’
‘Not in so many words,’ Vicky was forced to admit. ‘But you must know he prefers me, the way he’s been with me so much this past week.’
Just how much time had he spent with Vicky this past week? Kim began to wonder. It was so difficult these days to know exactly where her husband was for, having neglected his own business affairs for months, while putting the hotel in order, he now had a tremendous amount of pulling up to do. Often he would go out in the car and Kim would not see him for a whole day. At other times he would spend days in his office, emerging only for meals and often working on after dinner until ten or eleven o’clock at night. Since Vicky’s arrival Kim had seen him with her several times; they would go for walks and, as Vicky had remarked, they had had tea together every day, so it did seem they had spent quite some time in each other’s company.
‘He didn’t appear to worry overmuch about leaving you today,’ Kim could not resist saying, even though she knew she should be above such petty spite.
‘Oh, yes ... well, he explained about that — when we were talking on the verandah, before you went out.’
‘Explain?’ Kim recalled her curiosity to know what they were talking about. ‘What exactly do you mean?’
‘He said he was having to take you out because you were determined to go on a ramble with one of the men guests. Julian said it would create a lot of gossip among the other guests and also the staff, and so he was taking you out himself. He said it would be an awful bore, and that he’d much rather be with me, but he couldn’t think of any other way of stopping you.’
‘A bore, eh?’ Kim’s anger surged right up into her throat. It was almost unbelievable that Julian could talk about her in this way, but on examining Vicky’s face Kim knew she was speaking the truth. ‘A bore! ’
‘I’m sorry if I wasn’t tactful,’ Vicky hastily put in, and added, ‘But I expect you were bored too, and would much rather have gone with the other young man.’
‘A bore, was it?’ Kim could think of nothing else and Vicky’s apology went unheard. She was seething at the idea of Julian’s telling her it would be a bore to take his wife out for the day. And then suddenly she frowned, and involuntarily spoke her thoughts aloud. ‘But he didn’t appear to be bored, not for one moment.’
‘He wouldn’t let you see it, of course,’ said Vicky, assuming a soothing tone which only added to Kim’s seething fury. ‘But he must have been - didn’t you see the way he stifled a yawn when I asked him if he’d had a pleasant day?’
Kim’s eyes widened. Yes, he had stifled a yawn, but she hadn’t attached any significance to it at the time. Well, he had no need to worry, he wouldn’t be bored with her company again!
‘He’s here, Kim,’ Vicky said agitatedly. ‘Tell me, are you going to give him up?’
Give him up. Did he want a divorce? It would certainly seem like it, in spite of his previous declaration to the contrary. Kim’s lovely lips set in a firm hard line.
‘No, Vicky, I’m not going to give him up. He married me — and he’ll just have to abide by it!’ Her face was flushed and her hands trembled in her lap. The waiter appeared with the sweet and the fruit, and at the same time Julian sat down at the table again. His sharp eyes flickered from Vicky to Kim and rested on her flushed face. She gave him one of those glances with which he was already familiar, and saw to her utter astonishment, that although his face was impassive, there had appeared at the corners of his eyes those crinkly little lines of mirth!
Both Julian and Kim were a little shocked when, on entering the tiny whitewashed cottage at Penmon, they saw Aunt Sophy’s pale and haggard face. She smiled feebly at them and then closed her eyes, as if it were too much trouble to keep them open for more than a second or two.
‘Not so good, today?’ Julian went straight to her and sat down on a small stool which stood beside her chair. Kim remained standing by the door, her eyes dark with compassion and dismay.
‘I’ve not been too good for two or three days,’ she told him weakly. ‘Am I finished, Julian?’ No fear in her voice, but a hint of regret mingled with despair. ‘But why do I ask, for if I were you wouldn’t tell me.’
‘Has Dr. Hughes been in today?’ he inquired, evading an answer to her question.
‘He’s coming later; it’s usually about three when he comes.’ Her eyes moved. ‘Kim dear, don’t stand there. Let me have a look at you.’
Kim obeyed, taking the hand that fluttered out to her. She found herself searching desperately for words.
‘We’ve brought you some of your favourite chocolates,’ she murmured, unable to remain silently looking down at the drawn and tired face.
‘That’s kind ...’ Aunt Sophy’s voice sank, and she had difficulty in articulating her words when at last she went on, ‘The hotel — I’d liked to have seen it. Neil and Margery were here on Tuesday and they told me all about it. You’ve all worked so hard — yes, I’d have loved to have seen it.’ Kim frowned and glanced down to examine Julian’s face. His aunt knew ... no doubt of that. Julian’s face was grim and set; he too was completely resigned. He stood up and, taking Kim’s hand from Aunt Sophy’s, he gently laid his aunt back against the cushions.
‘Rest, dear. Can Kim get you anything?’
‘No, Julian. Donna gave me something before she went. But you—’ She looked from one to the other. ‘You haven’t had your lunch. There’s plenty of stuff in the larder.’
‘I’ll get it.’ Kim took off her coat, hung it behind the door, and then went into the little room at the back. As before she began to prepare a meal - and, as before, she could hear the conversation going on in the other room.
‘—have you been looking, Julian? The flat’s nice - Margery’s quite thrilled with it, but Kim wants a place of her own. Take her away, Julian, so there’s just the two of you. The child hasn’t had a proper honeymoon, either, working like a Trojan - yes, Margery told me all about it. Have you been looking?’ she asked again.
A small silence; Kim waited to see how her husband would answer that one.
‘We had a look at a bungalow on our way here,’ he said calmly. ‘We’re both very keen about it, so I intend to make the agents an offer for it.’
Kim could only stare, the butter knife poised over the piece of bread on the board. He had to lie, she supposed, for his aunt’s sake — but to do it so calmly, and while fully aware of the likelihood of Kim’s being able to overhear.
Returning her attention to her task, Kim dwelt reflectively on the scene in the car when, a few minutes after they’d left the hotel, Kim had mentioned the bungalow.
‘I’ve changed my mind,’ Julian said curtly. ‘We’ll stay at the hotel for the time being.’
‘But it’s you who’ve been so persistent about our looking at some properties.’
‘Things have changed,’ he almost snapped, his eyes on the road ahead.
Kim swallowed hard.
‘What things?’ Was it Vicky? It must be. He had
discovered he wanted to marry her, just as Kim had half suspected. ‘It was only yesterday that you said we’d go and see this bungalow.’
‘I’ve changed my mind,’ was all the explanation he would give and, as she cast him a sideways glance, taking in the stern set of his profile and the square inflexible line of his jaw, Kim realized the futility of questioning him further. He must have changed his mind about buying her a piece of jewellery too, she thought, for no mention had been made of it at breakfast as would have been expected. Yes, it very much seemed as if Julian’s attentions were now almost wholly with his former fiancee. The idea that he might want a divorce set her heart fluttering and the journey was half over before it was beating normally again. If he really meant to have Vicky could she, Kim, do anything to prevent it? She would fight, she decided firmly. As she had said to Vicky, Julian had forced her into marriage by the most criminal methods imaginable, and now he would have to abide by it.
Her thoughts were brought back to the present with a jerk.
‘I was desperate for you to marry — to see you happy and settled, but I daren’t say a word. For I knew if I made the merest suggestion you’d guess at my anxiety, for you’re so astute. Then you’d probably have gone off and married the first girl you met, just to make me happy—’
‘Nothing of the kind—’ The door between the rooms was closed with a little bang and Kim heard no more.
Why close the door like that? Obviously so that she, Kim, would not hear the rest of the conversation. But she had already heard enough to set her thinking, for it was a very odd thing that she herself, on more than one occasion, had considered the possibility of Julian’s marrying for the sake of his aunt’s peace of mind. Also, he had known from the first that she would never recover from the effects of the accident. He was aware
that she had but a few months left----His aunt had just said she had given
him no clue as to her anxiety about his future, but could it be possible that Julian had in fact guessed?
Kim’s eyes flickered uncomprehendingly. It was all far too puzzling. For if Julian had married for the sake of his aunt’s happiness, then why, when Kim had asked him, had he denied it?
