Sawyer

by Theresa Beachman

  All her thoughts scattered as her focus narrowed on the feel of his strong fingers moving deep inside her. He withdrew his fingers slowly, slicking her arousal on the inside of her thigh as his thumb brushed her clit. She moaned, bereft, and he plunged his fingers back in, licking and biting the inside of her thighs as his expert fingers continued to destroy her self-control.

  “You taste so sweet.” He nipped her belly. She murmured something incomprehensible, no longer able to form a coherent sentence as her mind was lost to his skilled caress.

  His hand tight around the small of her back, he took her clit in his mouth, his tongue working her hard in broad strokes against her sensitive nub. Resistance was no longer possible, and everything inside her contracted to one brilliant point. She bucked beneath him, her muscles clamping around his fingers as her orgasm tore through her and she screamed his name.

  Her hands slipped on the bars above her as powerful waves of pleasure exploded through her body, but Sawyer caught her even as his name was on her lips. Moving upwards, he dragged her exhausted body into the encompassing safety of his arms.

  7

  Julia was heavy and sweet in Sawyer’s embrace as they knelt side by side on the polished floor. He buried his face in the airy cloud of her hair, breathing in her scent. This was the only time she was vulnerable with him. In the aftermath of sex, her defenses momentarily blown apart, she would actually be with him for a few moments before she started to erect walls between them once more.

  Her breathing calmed, the metronome of her heart thudding under his palm. Despite the torment of his aching cock, he didn’t want the moment to end. At last, she pulled herself upright. She peeked up at him, lips parted and swollen, her hands reaching for the large bulge at his crotch. He’d half-expected her to push him away, aware they were both slightly sticky, sheathed in a blush of sweat from their exertions.

  She surprised him, murmuring a husky, eager sound in his ear as her finger traced the outline of his erection. He groaned against the skin of her neck as the palm of her hand continued its relentless provocation, stroking and squeezing him.

  “Feel how hard I can make you,” she whispered in his ear, gripping him firmly.

  A low growl escaped his lips and helpless to stop himself, he bucked his hips, desperate for her touch. With leisurely movements she undid the button and then the drawstring of his sweats. His mouth went dry as he anticipated her next move. Soft, cool hands pulled him out at last, and he sucked in a sharp gasp of air, adjusting to the delicious sensation.

  A smile played across her lips in appreciation. “No underwear either?”

  “Julia.” Sawyer muttered back at her, his hand threading through the soft hair at the back of her neck as he pulled her in a for a hungry kiss. She kissed him then broke away, teeth biting her lower lip in anticipation, her eyes dark with arousal. Her slim fingers stroked down the dark happy-trail across his lower abdomen.

  She peeked up at him, her cheeks colored pink. “I love touching you.”

  A tortured groan escaped him as she wrapped her hands around the swollen head of his cock and stroked him with firm definite movements. She clearly had no intention of being gentle and the thought made him harder still.

  Blood pounded in his veins. “Julia—“

  He caught her smile just before her tongue found the sensitive crown. Hot breath escaped him as her tongue circled the head, then stroked the perfect spot just underneath. His body and cock stiffened in tandem and his jaw clenched.

  The searing wet heat of her lips and tongue on the blunt tip was fierce. Sawyer closed his eyes, his head tipped back in oblivion to nothing but the woman on her knees before him. He swallowed a groan as her tongue unwound his control. Her skilled hands worked him, sleek friction building an aching urgency across his length. A tornado of fiery sensations collided with each other in his brain, and he leaned backward, the base of his spine pressing against the cool wooden rungs of the ladder.

  She followed, taking him deep into the back of her throat and driving him hard. Her free hand cupped him, gently raking his skin with her fingernails. Unbearable tension spread from his thighs to the small of his back as she released him, licking the slit of his cock and tasting his arousal. Intense, aching pressure low in his gut hurtled him toward release.

  She glanced up at him then, and his vision narrowed to just her face, her hair in messy disarray from his hands, her lips slick with the taste of him. He muttered a guttural groan at the disheveled beauty kneeling before him, his hand cupping her cheek. A lascivious grin graced her lips before she bent over him again, small breathy sounds escaping from deep in her throat. God, he loved the noises she made, perfect murmurings of desire that drove blood into his cock almost to the point of pain.

  The nearness of his own release was excruciating as his orgasm grew like wild fire at the base of his spine. Julia sheathed her teeth with her lips, sliding him into her mouth, her expert tongue tormenting him in all the right places. His hips rocked with urgency, his hands grasping the back of her neck. She pulled back slightly, her teeth grazing his swollen crown and the cool contrast of the air to the searing heat of her mouth drove him over the edge. His muscles locked, his climax obliterating everything but her hot, tight warmth as he came in a sudden, primal jolt of release.

  Slowly he relaxed, his breathing easing as Julia graced his belly and the tops of his thighs with butterfly kisses. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair mussed as she licked his skin. Finally, she rose and kissed him on the neck then snuggled her face against the crook of his arm. She pressed against his side, wrapping her arms around him.

  “Hmm,” she purred in appreciation. Neat fingernails traced a wobbly line from the base of his throat to his belly button. He caught her hand and kissed her palm then the inside of her wrist, savoring the sweet, salty taste of her skin. God, he couldn’t get enough of her.

  She stood first, picking up her clothes from where they had been discarded. Sawyer picked up his gym towel, taking a minute to clean himself up. He watched her slide her jeans over the creamy skin of her backside.

  He growled low in appreciation and swiped her before she had them fully on. She yelped, and when she turned back to face him, he grabbed her arm and yanked her close, ignoring her protestations. He held her there, planting a slow, gentle kiss on the top of her head.

  She relaxed and stilled. Normally, she pulled away as soon as they had finished making love, but today she let him hold her. He wondered if she hungered for the connection that he did right now, if he filled the dark spaces within her the way she did for him.

  She pressed a hot kiss to his lips, breaking away from him and the moment. She grinned. “C’mon. Let’s eat.”

  8

  Sawyer lay on his side, the blanket draped over his thigh as he traced the smooth curve of Julia’s hip. They’d come back to her room after the gym. He’d showered and changed, and she’d fed him cheese and toast and tinny red wine from a faded bottle of Mateus Rose that she’d pulled out from under the bed with a giggle. Finally, he’d fallen into an exhausted sleep, Julia in his arms and crumbs on the sheets.

  His fingers slid into the soft swell where her legs met at a juncture of delectable darkness. Soft hair brushed under the tips of his fingers. She stirred, and her lids flickered, unseen dreams racing across her eyes. His hand continued further, stroking the satin warmth of her thigh. Her lips parted, and she muttered, her brow creasing as she continued to doze.

  She’d allowed him to sleep with her only a handful of times and even then only for few hours, never for the entire night. Each time it had been the same; her sleep was restless and haunted, never peaceful. His hand slipped from her leg back to her face, where he swept her hair from her forehead. He kissed her brow, soothing her agitation. Her lids opened, and she was finally still, her eyes dark and silent.

  The frown remained on her face. “You’re still here.” She raised her hand to his cheek, running her nail though the bristles on his chin.


  He twisted his face and kissed the side of her palm. Her skin was musky-sweet, like sugar. “You were having a bad dream.”

  She blinked. “Was I?”

  “Uh huh.” He scanned her face, looking for clues, but she was already shutting down on him.

  “Chittrix stuff,” she said with brisk shake of her head.

  She sat up abruptly, hiding from him under a thick curtain of hair. The sheet dropped from her breasts, pooling in her lap. Julia was many things, but bashful was not one of them. He cupped one golden breast, running his finger across the dusky nipple. He liked that in a woman. Especially in this woman. The list of what he liked about Julia increased every day with little sign of abating.

  “You were repeating a name. Maria.” He regarded her steadily, casting his mind back to her hesitance down in the basement. “Anything to do with what happened earlier?”

  “I hate water. I hate having nothingness under my feet…” She waved her hand.

  He waited, leaving space between them. There was more, balanced on the edge of her tongue, loosened by sleep and sex. He was a patient man.

  She sighed and rolled her eyes at his patience.

  “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said.

  She flashed him a look, and he saw the effort of keeping it to herself was finally greater than that of release. She picked at a loose thread on the sheet. “There’s not much to tell. Maria was my sister. She died when I was nine. She was only seven and we were swimming in the lake together.” She hugged her legs and buried her face for a moment, resting her eyes against her knees. He stroked the smooth skin of her thigh, waiting for her to continue.

  “She got caught in tall weeds near the bottom and it took a long time to find her because she was so little.”

  She huffed softly. “The darkness and the water, not knowing what was going on in the basement. It was too much. I saw Maria floating, green weeds anchoring her to the riverbed. Every night in my dreams my father dives in and pulls her out, and there’s water and screaming. So much screaming.” She stopped suddenly and squeezed her eyes together, but the tears escaped and found their way to the swell of her cheek.

  Sawyer remained silent, placing his hand on the small of her back, circling the dimples at the base of her spine.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She nodded, her head bumping against her knees. “My life was never the same after we lost Maria. My dad buried himself in his work, and my mother…my mother died that day. She was there, but hollow with nothing left inside, just a papery shell. She started drinking and at first, it was just a few glasses of wine while she was cooking. Then it escalated. I would find bottles of vodka hidden behind the curtains, and we had to check the oven and the washing machine before we switched them on, because she used to hide them there too. I quickly realized no one was going to do anything for me. I needed to do stuff myself.”

  She stopped then, and he sensed her instinct to flee like she always did. Her voice steadied. “Did me no harm. Drove me to the top.”

  He covered her small hand with his, wanting to hold her. She glanced at his fingers, concentration creasing the skin between her eyebrows. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s not part of the deal, Sawyer.”

  He bristled at her use of his surname and her steadfast refusal to call him by anything else.

  “It can be,” he said simply. I want it to be part of the deal.

  She shook her head, the fall of her hair shifting on her shoulder. “Don’t complicate things.”

  He held his tongue. She was locking him out. Now was not the time.

  She gave him a serious look, all business now. The vulnerable woman was secreted away again and, her voice was suddenly official and brusque. “You should go.” She tossed sheets aside. “Where’s my t-shirt?”

  He sat up running a hand across his skull. Why did it always have to be like this afterwards?

  Snagging it off the floor, he passed her the shirt. Julia pulled it on, tugging it over the swell of her breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and it hugged the outline of her nipples, teasing his cock even now.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” she said.

  He considered the dark and silent room, trying to keep the sarcasm from coating his words. “Doing what, exactly?”

  “This. Time afterward.”

  He cleared his throat and climbed off the bed, yanking on his jeans. “Julia. We’re not. It’s just talking. What normal couples do. Or are we not normal?” He tugged his belt tight. Tighter than he intended. He loosened it off a notch so he could still breathe.

  She ignored his question with narrowed eyes and stepped in front of him, wearing only her t-shirt and underwear. A flash of lilac lace below the hem made him pause. Her hair was a tumble of dark waves, begging him to run his fingers through it.

  “Are you still able to do this?” She ran her fingernail across the line of his jaw.

  “This?” He decided to be obtuse on purpose. Make her repeat it. He wanted to look into her eyes and see what was there.

  Her shoulders twitched. The smallest gesture of frustration? Maybe she was just tired from lack of sleep.

  “Use each other for sex whenever we feel like it. Day or night. But nothing else.”

  He watched those beautiful eyes, daring to hope for hesitation or doubt, but they were steady and unrelenting.

  “I don’t know if it’s going to work anymore,” he admitted.

  Fear flitted across her face like a dark shadow, just like always.

  No matter how much he wanted their relationship to be different, he didn’t know how to change it. Catching her hand, he raised it to his lips then turned it over and kissed the inside of her wrist. The heat of her blood burned against his lips as he muttered her name into the softness of her skin. Her scent wrapped round his brain, ensnaring him. “Because obviously, you’re going to fall in love with me.” The words came easily. It was a common game they played.

  Julia ran her hands through her hair, and she cocked her head slowly, a smile finally playing at the edges of her mouth. “I’ve already told you, I don’t do love.”

  “Whatever, Dr. Simmons.” His reply was quicker than he intended.

  She didn’t notice his discomfort or perhaps she was ignoring it. An easy smile spread across her face now that she was on familiar ground. “I’m still working on reducing the size of the Sweeper’s components. Make the damn thing more portable and powerful. That’s what I have time for. Well, that and you in my bed at two a.m. if I want you.”

  “So we keep doing this until one of us feels something more? Just remember I warned you.”

  “Warned me?”

  “You’ll be first. Eventually you are going to fall in love with me.” He was impressed at how neutral he sounded.

  He moved away, bending to pick up his boots. Where were his damn socks? He spotted them tucked under the edge of the sheet that spilled across the floor.

  “It’s not going to be me,” she retorted, not missing a beat. “There’s too much crap going on for us to waste time on relationships. I told you that from the beginning. I’ve always been up front with you.”

  “You are so romantic.”

  She shrugged, dismissive. “There’s no romance anymore. We both know that.”

  Sawyer hesitated. Unquestioned assumptions were a thing of his past and cold fingers of doubt pressed against the bones of his chest.

  Cracking the bedroom door open, Julia checked outside to make sure the corridor was clear. She stood back to let him pass.

  “No one there.”

  He stepped out into the corridor, willing her to ask him to stay but her door clicked shut behind him and he was alone, just as she’d promised.

  9

  Having left five computers working their way painfully through the failed number crunching from the day before, Julia needed a distraction.

  Anna’s makeshift lab was dimly lit and warm, the air slightly damp against Julia’s bare fo
rearms. It reminded her of the bio-labs at Magdon Down where Anna had grown the first pieces of her biological armor infused with Chittrix protein. Some of the armor had survived the evacuation of Magdon, but more was required for those who scavenged supplies and defended the bunker on a daily basis. Anna had been working intensively for the last few weeks, and Julia missed her friend.

  “It’s stuffy in here,” Julia called out.

  Anna popped up from behind an open laptop, her face glowing pale blue from the screen.

  “Needs to be. You know that.” She rapped her pen against her teeth and hung over a large glass tank. As an entomologist specializing in bio-weaponry, it was where she spent most of her free time—when she wasn’t holed up in bed with Garrick.

  “I’m more and more convinced the Chittrix came from a tropical climate. Increasing the humidity and temperature has given me a significant boost in the armor’s material growth rates.” Anna suddenly bent back over her laptop and tapped furiously for a few moments, her fingertips loud on the plastic keys.

  The air had a slightly funky smell as if someone had stuffed unwashed socks behind one of the humming monitors and left them there for a few weeks to develop an interesting aroma. Julia’s nose wrinkled in unsure appreciation.

  “God, Anna, what on earth is that smell?”

  Anna straightened, her face flushed with excitement. She jerked her head in the direction of the large glass tank behind her.

  “Come and see.”

  Julia made her way over, skirting several tanks of ant colonies that Anna was nurturing. Julia peered at the tracery of minute tunnels pressed up against the glass as she walked past. Near the bottom of the tanks, piles of milky white eggs lay in neat stacks. Tiny red-orange ants crawled over the eggs in a blur of activity, endlessly rearranging future generations. Julia understood the importance of studying these insects given their genetic similarities to the Chittrix, but she still didn’t want to get up close and personal with them. She double-checked the tank lids were tightly secured with large clips as she passed.