Mail Order Mommy

by Christine Johnson

  “Palms and tall grasses, like the ones where Pharaoh’s daughter found the baby Moses.”

  Garrett didn’t point out that those were rushes. Tall grasses on land looked pretty much the same as tall grasses in the water.

  Amanda continued, oblivious to his discomfort. “And I will need the animals’ features painted onto the cloth. Their noses and eyes and so forth.”

  “Of course! Otherwise no one will know what sort of animal they are.”

  By the time they reached the boardinghouse, the war had been averted. Fiona retired with a promise to sketch out her ideas for a backdrop.

  That left Garrett alone with Amanda.

  He scrubbed his chin, deeply aware of how she had calmed a volatile situation. “That, uh, ended up better than expected, thanks to some quick thinking on your part.”

  Instead of accepting the compliment like any man would, she turned on him. “How dare you.” The words were thick with tears.

  Garrett stepped back, surprised. “You’re upset.”

  “Yes, I’m upset. Anyone would be. How can you promise me one thing and promise Fiona another?”

  Garrett tried to make sense of this sudden fury. What had he promised? “I, uh, don’t understand.”

  “Don’t understand? Haven’t you any sense at all? You cannot promise two different things to two different women.”

  “What did I promise?”

  That just threw kerosene on the fire.

  “You don’t even know?” Her indignation could have scorched the paint off the boardinghouse porch. “How can you stand there and say you don’t know what you’ve done?” Amanda shook her head. “What were you thinking?”

  He had no idea.

  Thankfully, the light was too low to see the expression on her face. No doubt tears streamed down. Eva had always shed tears when she accused him of some wrong or other. He would capitulate to her demands, the tears would stop and she would curl in his arms, professing undying love. Amanda Porter wasn’t likely to do more than make demands. He steeled himself.

  “Men,” she huffed. “It’s a good thing Pearl is in charge of the nativity play. She’ll make sure everything turns out all right.”

  He couldn’t deny that, and since Amanda was calming down, he figured it was time to put an end to the evening.

  “I’ll just build the stable.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you for joining me tonight. I enjoyed it.”

  He heard her draw in her breath sharply. What had he done wrong now? Naturally, she didn’t tell him.

  After an awkward, silent pause, he said, “I should fetch Isaac and Sadie.”

  “Of course.” Though her words said she understood, her tone did not. “They would be too tired by now to do anything but go to bed.”

  “Um. Right.” He had no idea what she was getting at, but she clearly wasn’t pleased. Why couldn’t women speak their minds? He’d struggled with Eva, and he had no inclination to struggle with another woman, whether she was pleasant to look at or not. “Good night, then.”

  He backed away, hands in the pockets of his coat.

  She stood absolutely still. Only when he turned did he hear a faint goodbye.

  * * *

  Garrett had forgotten. Either that or he’d never wanted to look at cloth with her. Amanda blinked back tears as he disappeared into the night. Garrett Decker changed as often as the wind. First escorting Fiona to the concert and then returning to ask her to attend. Then that whole bit with the nativity play animals. She’d smoothed it over as best she could with Fiona, but damage had been done. Through it all Garrett did not support her.

  He should have told Fiona that he’d changed his mind.

  He should have said something.

  Amanda had been left to flounder in the wake of Fiona’s indignation. If she were Fiona, she would be angry, too, but his silence had hurt her more.

  It reminded her of the days in the orphanage. Some of the boys or girls would gang up on the weaker or smaller children. Since Amanda was delicate and was given the prettiest gowns, she’d often ended up the brunt of their attacks. Pearl stuck up for her. Pearl would chase those bullies back to their beds and often get punished for it. Miss Hornswoggle was oblivious to the trouble those dresses caused.

  Oblivious. That’s how Garrett looked during the argument, as if he had no idea that he’d wronged both of them.

  Amanda heaved a sigh. She would rather believe him ignorant or forgetful than cruel and manipulative like Hugh.

  “So he left you, too.” Fiona’s statement cut through the icy night air.

  Amanda turned to see the redhead on the porch. “I didn’t hear you come outside.”

  “When you didn’t come in, I had to see if you’d left with him.”

  Amanda looked away. She’d planned to do just that, fetching the children with him and picking out cloth for the pageant animals.

  “I work for him.”

  Fiona’s mouth twitched. “Of course.”

  “There’s nothing more between us than that.” Yet her blazing cheeks betrayed her—if they were visible in the dim light.

  “Naturally.”

  “We should go inside before we catch a chill from the cold.”

  Fiona opened the door and held it for her. Amanda scooted inside and unbuttoned her coat.

  Fiona touched her lightly on the shoulder. “It’s not your fault, honey. Some men don’t know how to treat a woman.”

  Memories of Hugh rose to the surface. Was Garrett really like him? He looked so devout at Sunday services. He read the Bible to the children after supper. His help in the kitchen had seemed so artless and filled with genuine caring. Until tonight, he had appeared to be the very opposite of Hugh. Surely that had not changed.

  “He’s a kind man,” she said.

  “He’s a man who needs a strong woman for a wife.” Fiona’s statement left no doubt that she didn’t consider Amanda strong enough for the task.

  “He needs compassion.”

  “Naturally.” Fiona draped her cloak on one of the pegs. Its fur collar looked so warm and soft that Amanda longed to touch it. Perhaps she could find something like that for some of the animals.

  “I’m sorry he didn’t tell you about the change in plans for the nativity play.”

  Fiona shrugged. “My talents will be put to better use on the backdrop.” She headed down the hallway, but then paused and turned back. “Thank you for thinking of that.”

  Amanda nodded. The truce had been drawn and signed. Unfortunately, that left her no closer to Garrett than before the evening began.

  Chapter Eight

  The keel was the singularly most important part of the ship. The ribs of the hull, the sheathing, stem, transom—really, every single bit of the vessel—relied on it. A weak or misshapen keel could doom a ship and its crew.

  Garrett tackled the project with the serious attention it required. Men’s lives and livelihoods depended on his work at this critical stage. While his men readied the building berth and launch ways, he sought the finest straight-grained timber for the keel. It had to have the correct strength and give. A fir or pine would work best, but he didn’t have one in the warehouse that was long enough.

  So he sent word upriver to the mills and camp foremen to keep an eye out for the right timber and send it downriver. If they sent a log, he’d have to fashion it and let the wood season until it was the correct dryness, delaying shipbuilding as much as a year. If a seasoned beam arrived by barge, they could begin at once, and Stockton would have his schooner much sooner.

  In the meantime, Garrett and Sawyer Evans, who had returned from Chicago that morning, selected oak and chestnut for framing and good clear white pine for the planking.

  Garrett mopped the sweat off his brow. Though it was co
ol in the warehouse, the month had remained abnormally warm.

  “Think that’s enough?” Sawyer asked as he stretched his back after hefting a stack of pine to the area Garrett had set aside for shipbuilding materials.

  “Maybe, but I’d rather have too much. Let’s check that pile over there.” He arched his aching back also. “In a minute.” Again he mopped his brow.

  Sawyer eyed the window. “No snow yet.”

  “Nope. Warm December. Reminds me of spring.”

  Spring reminded Garrett of death. Eva’s death. While others reveled in the first signs of plants and flowers, he remembered the icy river and his wife slipping beneath the surface.

  “This boat will not sink.” Perhaps he’d said that too forcefully, for Sawyer gave him a funny look.

  The truth was that most boats foundered at one time or another, but an alert captain could beach her and save the crew. Garrett shuddered.

  “Cold?” Sawyer asked.

  “No.” Garrett decided to turn the conversation. “Next time you need someone to escort Fiona O’Keefe anywhere, ask my brother.”

  Sawyer roared. “She’s a handful. I pity the man that takes her on.”

  “You’re not interested?” Garrett had assumed they were courting, or at least considering it.

  “Look at me. I’m a lumberman. They don’t call me Sawyer for nothing. A rough man like me got no business around a cultured woman like her.”

  “But you spend so much time together.”

  “She lets me play piano and fiddle for her, and I make sure none of the others get their hands on her. That’s all.”

  Garrett couldn’t let it rest at that. “You share a love of music. That means a lot.”

  “I ain’t got enough coin in my pockets, boss.”

  “Maybe this ship’ll put it there.”

  “Only if I’m a captain and a boss like you.”

  “I’m no captain,” Garrett protested. “I’m not even a sailor.” He had set foot on a ship only once, when he came to Singapore. He’d been sick the whole trip and didn’t plan to ever travel in one again. Ironic, considering he’d built ships back in Chicago and was now building a schooner. Other men could sail them. “Definitely not a captain.”

  “You’re still in charge.”

  Again Garrett’s gaze drifted to the window. This time he spotted Amanda and Pearl walking toward the store, with his children running ahead.

  His gut clenched out of habit. Eva had spent everything he earned and then some. Though Amanda didn’t appear to be a spendthrift, she had purchased a pantryful of supplies without his authorization. Coupled with Pearl, she might do anything.

  He eyed the stacks of lumber and came to a quick decision. “Sawyer, you’re in charge. Get one of the men to help you move all the white pine into a pile over there. I’ll be right back.”

  Instead of hurrying off, Sawyer grinned.

  “What’s holding you back?” Garrett barked. “Didn’t you hear my orders?”

  “I heard.” Sawyer nodded toward the window. “Trouble with the missus?”

  Garrett stiffened. He meant Amanda. Was that what everyone in town thought? “I’m not married, and you know it.” He jabbed a finger into Sawyer’s chest. “I hired Miss Porter to take care of the children when I’m at work. That’s all. Understand?”

  Sawyer backed away, clearly remorseful. “Sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. That’s just what I heard people say.”

  “People? What people?” Garrett retracted his hand. “Never mind. I don’t want to know. Just tell them the truth—that she is hired help. Period.”

  “Yes, sir. Yes, boss.” Sawyer scooted away to direct the men.

  Garrett couldn’t help replaying the conversation on his walk to the mercantile. Someone was spreading rumors about Amanda and him. His first instinct was to blame Fiona. After all, she and Sawyer practiced their music nearly every evening. But Garrett couldn’t bring himself to blame a woman, especially when she and Amanda had appeared to mend their differences. More likely some of the men were speculating.

  He blew out his breath and pulled his coat tighter. Regardless of the source, the fact was that Amanda’s reputation could suffer. Yet he needed a housekeeper and someone to watch the children. And she was so good with Isaac and Sadie. He couldn’t fire her when she’d done nothing wrong. He would have to watch his step and maintain the strictest propriety.

  * * *

  “This cotton will do admirably,” Amanda said as she plucked at the fluffy fibers. “I don’t suppose you have any scraps of fur.”

  “Fur?” Pearl and Roland asked at the same time.

  Pearl’s lifted eyebrows warned her that there was no way they could afford to add fur to any of the stuffed animals. “We gathered plenty of dried grass yesterday to fill the animals.”

  “Not for the stuffing. A little bit of fur would feel so soft against a child’s cheek.”

  “Then you’re looking for enough to cover a cow or donkey.” Roland grinned.

  “I’m not. And you know it.”

  “Oh,” Pearl exclaimed, “you meant for one of the robes. A little bit would do.”

  “Well, no.” Except Amanda wasn’t sure where she would use it. She’d just envisioned the children hugging the animals. The soft cotton and some fur would make them even more touchable. “Forget I said anything.”

  Pearl and Roland looked at each other, and then Roland headed for the back storeroom. Amanda caught her breath at their silent communication. She certainly didn’t have that with Garrett. She didn’t share that with anyone.

  “Are you sure you can find anything in that mess?” Pearl called out after her fiancé.

  He cast her a grin before disappearing into the back. “Faster than you could.”

  A faint memory poked at Amanda, of her brother teasing her when she was very little. The way Pearl and Roland had just teased each other. Dear Jacob. How she missed him. She didn’t even know for certain if he was alive. After he ran away from Uncle Griffin’s farm in Missouri, he was never seen again. Tears rose to her eyes.

  “Oh, dear,” Pearl said. “I didn’t intend to make you cry. I was talking to Roland.”

  “I know. That’s not what brought the tears. The way you and Roland tease each other reminded me of how my brother used to tease me.”

  Pearl glanced at Roland, who had just returned, before speaking to Amanda. “I’m sorry that the lumberjack you thought might be Jacob didn’t return to town.”

  Amanda’s spirits dropped. “Me, too.”

  Now that this man had left the area, she might never know if he was her Jacob.

  “Perhaps this will cheer you up.” Roland laid a beautiful rabbit pelt on the counter. “No one wanted to buy it because it’s too torn up by shot to be worth much.” He flipped over the pelt to show her the tears and holes. “If you can use it for a costume, it’s yours.”

  Amanda ran a hand over the soft fur. How could one brother be so generous while the other frustrated her? “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. I’ve had that on my shelves for years.”

  Ideas flitted through Amanda’s head. “I could trim one of the magi’s robe, but I didn’t think we were going to include their visit, since it happened so much later.”

  “I wasn’t,” Pearl admitted, “but we could add it.”

  Amanda shook her head. “It would be nice on one of the animals.”

  “A very small animal,” Roland said. “I’m not sure there’s enough to even make a rabbit, and a rat doesn’t set the right tone.”

  Pearl swatted him, and Amanda’s heart ached for that kind of relationship. Why couldn’t a good and decent man truly love her? Were her flaws that obvious? She bit her lip to stem more tears.

  “I don’t know why Garrett
didn’t tell us about the change in plans,” Pearl said. “We all assumed the animals would be cut from wood.”

  “Because I forgot.” Garrett strode into the store from the back. “If you three are here, where are Isaac and Sadie?”

  Amanda jumped, terror knifing through her. The water. The slippery docks. Anything might happen if the children had sneaked outside while the adults were busy. “They were looking at the toys.”

  Yet they’d been awfully quiet, come to think of it.

  She hurried over to the shelves, to find the area empty. “Oh, dear. Oh, dear.” Now Garrett truly would dismiss her. “Where could they be?”

  Pearl grabbed her hand. “You and I are going to search upstairs. Garrett, you check outside. Roland, comb the store.”

  Amanda gladly followed Pearl, but her heart was beating so hard she had to struggle to climb the steps.

  Pearl hugged her. “It’ll be all right. You must believe that God is watching over them.”

  Amanda wanted to believe, but God hadn’t watched over her parents when the train crashed. He hadn’t kept Jacob and her together. He had separated her from Pearl by sending Amanda to the Chatsworths, and hadn’t protected her from Hugh. He hadn’t spared Isaac and Sadie’s mother. How could she believe in God’s goodness and protection when all that had happened?

  The inside staircase led directly to the dining table where Amanda and Pearl had eaten when they first arrived in Singapore.

  Pearl halted when she opened the door. “Isaac Decker. Sadie Decker. You scared us half to death.”

  Amanda squeezed past Pearl to see the two children sitting at the table as if it was any ordinary day. Sadie’s eyes were round, while Isaac stared down at the pile of jackstraws in front of him.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Lawson.” Sadie slipped down from the chair and ran not to Pearl but to Amanda. She threw her thin arms around Amanda’s waist, and Amanda couldn’t help but hug her. Seconds later, the sobs began.

  “Hush, now,” Amanda whispered as she smoothed Sadie’s dark hair. “Just tell us where you’re going next time.”

  “I told Isaac we shoulda said something,” Sadie sobbed.