Mail Order Mommy

by Christine Johnson

  Pearl sighed. “If the preacher gets here.”

  Singapore didn’t have a regular preacher. Instead they relied on Brother John, whose circuit took him this way once a month. Other Sundays they sang hymns, read passages from the Bible, and the men took turns reading from Mr. Calloway’s book of sermons. Come to think of it...

  “Have you ever seen Garrett read aloud in church?”

  Pearl’s left eyebrow lifted. “I don’t believe I have.”

  “Yet he reads aloud beautifully at home. Do you think he’s afraid of reading in public?”

  “Most people are.”

  “But he knows everyone,” Amanda pointed out.

  “Even worse. I’ve heard it’s easier to speak in front of strangers than those who know you intimately.”

  Intimate. That word brought heat to Amanda’s cheeks. To distract Pearl, she turned back to the sewing machine and continued the train of thought that had led to that unfortunate word. “I can’t see why he would be nervous. None of us would laugh at him. No one would dare!”

  “Would you like to read in front of the congregation?”

  Amanda gulped. “Oh. I understand what you mean.”

  Pearl joined her at the sewing machine. “Is this the costume for Mary?” She held up the blue robe. “It looks like it’ll fit Sadie perfectly. And I see the other costumes are done, as well. You’ve been working hard.”

  “I just need to hem Mary’s veil, and then you can hand out the costumes to the children.”

  “I think I’ll wait,” Pearl said with a laugh. “You saw how difficult it was to keep their attention. If I hand these out in class, there will be bedlam. We will try them on during rehearsal next Saturday morning. Will that be enough time to make adjustments?”

  “I’ll bring pins, needle and thread along so I can do it on the spot.”

  “Perfect.” Pearl stood back and surveyed the dozen costumes for shepherds, angels and the holy family. “This play will turn out wonderful.”

  “All we need is baby Jesus. Did you get Beth Wardman’s doll?”

  “Oh, dear.”

  “Oh, dear? You didn’t forget, did you?”

  Pearl did indeed look chagrined.

  “It might have slipped my mind. Does Sadie have a doll we could borrow?”

  “Only her rag doll.”

  “That will do in a pinch. On Monday I’ll ask Beth to bring hers to school so you can get it ready. There, that’s settled.”

  Amanda marveled at how Pearl could make decisions so quickly and then dismiss the matter from her mind. Amanda would turn it over and over for hours—all night even—until she unearthed a solution or tied herself in knots fretting over it.

  She pinned the hem for the veil and assumed her friend would head off to do whatever needed to be done. Instead, Pearl pulled a chair close and sat down.

  Amanda looked up. “Surely you have something to do.”

  “Trying to get rid of me?” Pearl’s grin showed she took the comment in good humor.

  “That’s not it. Your wedding is coming up quickly. You must have preparations to make.”

  “Why? Once Brother John arrives, we will set a time. Then we will all gather at the church and say our vows.”

  “Who are you inviting?”

  “This isn’t a lavish ceremony,” Pearl said. “Just family and friends. Of course you and Garrett will witness our vows.”

  The thought of standing near Garrett during this most solemn of occasions sent Amanda’s insides fluttering again. Could she have misread him? Was he really showing interest in her? What did it matter, when she could never measure up to the ideals he held?

  She set down the veil and pressed a hand to her tumbling midsection.

  “All right,” Pearl said, in her matter-of-fact manner. “It’s time you stopped avoiding my question. Something is wrong. Spill it.”

  Normally Amanda appreciated her friend’s frank approach. There was no illusion or doubt around Pearl. She spoke her mind, plain and simple. But Pearl did not harbor secrets. Her life was lived in the open. She freely admitted that her parents had abandoned her at the orphanage. Amanda knew the hurt that caused Pearl, but her friend had never let that stop her from following her dreams. She’d wanted to teach school, so she’d worked hard to get the learning she needed to land this job in Singapore.

  Amanda wanted to marry and have a family, but that wasn’t something she could decide on her own. A man must be willing to wed her. She’d thought that being a mail-order bride was the perfect solution. The man needed a wife. She needed a husband and wanted children. Love was not necessary. Perhaps it only complicated things.

  “What did Garrett say to you?” Pearl leaned close to whisper that question.

  Amanda started and busied herself lining up the pinned hem on the sewing machine. “Nothing important.”

  “Stop.” Pearl held the pulley so Amanda couldn’t get the machine working. “You’re burying whatever happened deep inside, and nothing good will come of it. I have eyes. I know something happened between you two. You’ll feel much better if you tell me.”

  Amanda stared at the machine, caught between the desire to unburden herself and the need to keep anything heavy-hearted from her friend so close to the wedding day.

  “Don’t you trust me to keep it to myself?” Pearl asked.

  “Of course I do.” Amanda couldn’t believe she could ask that.

  “Then spill it.”

  “But...”

  “Is it because I’m marrying Garrett’s brother? I promise not to tell Roland any confidence you share with me.”

  Amanda sighed. Her head throbbed. She wanted to crawl into bed and hide, but she wasn’t a little girl anymore. “I thought maybe Garrett was starting to warm to me.”

  “I know he is.”

  “But—” this was the tough part “—he seems to have an impossible standard for his future wife.”

  “Oh.” Pearl sat back heavily. “That.” Her brow furrowed. “I suppose it comes from being afraid he’ll get hurt again.”

  Amanda didn’t understand. “How? I thought his wife died tragically.”

  “She did.” Pearl sighed. “I suppose Roland wouldn’t mind me saying this. He hasn’t told me not to, after all. He courted Eva before Garrett did.”

  That didn’t clear up anything. “I don’t understand.”

  “I think there was some jealousy between the brothers over the years. Garrett seems to think he’s not as attractive to ladies as Roland is. From what I understand, Eva was very beautiful.”

  Amanda sucked in her breath as she tried to take in what Pearl was saying. “You’re saying that Garrett never thought he was good enough? That’s ridiculous. She married Garrett, not Roland.”

  “I don’t know all that happened, only that it upset Roland. He came to Singapore to get away from Garrett and Eva, but they followed him here a few years later with the children. From what I’ve heard, there was a falling out, and the brothers barely spoke to each other until after the accident.”

  “Oh, dear.”

  “Yes.” Pearl shook her head. “Jealousy is a terrible thing. Garrett feared his wife was still in love with his brother. At least that’s what Roland thought and why he kept his distance as much as possible. But in a small town...” She sighed. “It’s impossible not to cross paths. Accusations flew—all incorrect, but divisive nonetheless. Roland hates that it took Eva’s death to bring the brothers together again.”

  Amanda squeezed her eyes shut. Garrett had been through so much. No wonder he insisted on such perfection in a wife. He’d been deeply hurt. “I understand.”

  Pearl hugged her. “Give Garrett time. It’ll take him longer to trust someone than most men, but once he gets to know you, he’ll see just how trustworthy y
ou are.”

  Except that Amanda had a terrible secret, one that would never fit with Garrett’s high ideals. Pearl had insisted she unburden her worries about Garrett. Her friend could be trusted. Pearl would never tell a soul what had happened with Hugh.

  The words rose to her tongue, but Mrs. Calloway poked her head into the room at just that moment.

  “Has anyone seen Fiona? She was supposed to help me with supper.”

  Both Pearl and Amanda told her that the last time they’d seen Fiona, she’d been working on the backdrop for the play.

  “I’ll help you,” Amanda offered, but Pearl held her down.

  “You finish Mary’s costume. I’ll help in the kitchen.”

  After Pearl and Mrs. Calloway were gone, the reality of the situation hit Amanda. Fiona was with Garrett. They’d been together for hours. The soprano with the beautiful silk gowns would make a far finer wife for Garrett Decker than a terribly imperfect orphan.

  * * *

  Fiona O’Keefe would drive a man to an early grave. Garrett couldn’t shake the woman. She kept him working on the backdrop and stable until darkness began to fall. Only then could he break free from her with the flimsy excuse that he needed to tend to supper for the children. She knew they were at the store with Roland. Even if they were at home, Amanda would be with them.

  Amanda. He had to speak with her. More than ever he needed her confirmation that he was doing the right thing. Yes, she’d seemed to approve of his decision to narrate the play, but he still wondered if Isaac and Sadie would be disappointed that they wouldn’t have speaking roles. Though he’d gotten closer to his children the past two weeks, Amanda knew their likes and dislikes. The hours she spent with them gave her an advantage. As the breadwinner, he could never hope to spend that sort of time with his children.

  Maybe Roland was right. Maybe they did need a new mother.

  Amanda. The answer was obvious, but a new mother for his children also meant a new wife for him. That was the stumbling block. Could he wake up each day to those dark curls and violet eyes that so reminded him of Eva?

  “What do you think?” Fiona stood back, surveying her artistry.

  “It’s good.”

  “Good? Only good?”

  Apparently he’d given the wrong answer.

  “It’ll do,” he amended.

  The color rose in Fiona’s cheeks, and her gaze narrowed. “You have no appreciation for the finer things in life.”

  Garrett was about to dispute that when it hit him. Fiona found that lack appalling, perhaps so appalling that she would finally let him be.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” he drawled. “I do like a good chunk of fatback now and then.”

  Her horrified expression was priceless. He did feel a little bad for not issuing the compliment she clearly needed, but it was painfully clear that Fiona could never fill the role of wife and mother to his children. Dear Sadie had seen that long before he did. Her letter to Jesus begging for a mama by Christmas, Miss Mana in particular, went straight to the clear and only answer. Amanda was the one woman his children would accept.

  “It’s time to put an end to this for the night.” He gathered his tools and put them in his wooden toolbox.

  “But we can’t leave the backdrop lying on the floor. We need the space for singing hymns and reading the sermon tomorrow morning.”

  “Roland and I will come in early and roll it up. Will it be dry by then?”

  “I hope so.”

  “If not, we’ll hang it.” He tromped down the aisle in his heavy boots and grabbed her cloak from the peg. Its fur collar looked like a mink had clawed its way up there and was hanging on for dear life. “Here we go.”

  She breathed out an exaggerated sigh. “It might as well be a whitewashing as far as you’re concerned.”

  He didn’t bother to correct her. She’d done a fine job painting the stars, trees and woodland creatures. Everyone would know in an instant that the setting was here in Michigan, not Bethlehem. But giving his approval would encourage what shouldn’t be encouraged.

  She let him help her into her cloak. “You will be at tonight’s concert, won’t you? Mrs. VanderLeuven promised mincemeat pie.”

  “Enjoy a slice for me. I’m going to spend the evening with my children.” And Amanda. He couldn’t help smiling at the thought of them seated around the big table sharing supper and the details of their day. Just like a family.

  Though Fiona pouted, nothing could shake his anticipation. Perhaps that was the answer he sought.

  Amanda Porter was the right mother for his children. After she settled the children into bed, he would talk with her. She’d answered that advertisement. Maybe she’d be willing to accept marriage in name alone, for Isaac and Sadie’s sake.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Amanda looked out the boardinghouse windows at the winking lights above the store. Garrett and the children were there with Roland and Pearl, who had rejoined him after supper. Fiona was still at the hotel after her Saturday evening performance, and the male boarders went there after the early supper. That left Amanda alone with the Calloways.

  Was this how life would be after Pearl wed?

  “At least you got the bodice done on the wedding dress,” Mrs. Calloway remarked while they scrubbed the dishes.

  “I still need to finish off the buttons and fastenings and attach it to the skirt. Oh, and hem it. I do wish I had time to embroider, but the fabric is lovely on its own.”

  Mrs. Calloway bent close. “I did get a little lace for the neckline and cuffs. I know you said she wouldn’t want anything fancy, but she can always take it off later. A woman has to look beautiful on her wedding day.”

  “Pearl will be beautiful.”

  Then why did Amanda keep envisioning herself in the gown? It wasn’t fitted for her. It could never belong to her. She would not have a wedding gown, for the time Garrett needed was time she did not have. Each day that passed increased the likelihood that he would figure out that she wasn’t the model of perfection that he desired.

  It was hopeless.

  She couldn’t shake the gloom while finishing the dishes, or even later, when she stitched the bodice to the skirt of the wedding gown. She ran a hand over the shimmering fabric. Pearl would glow in this dress. She already glowed anytime she was near Roland. The dress could never match the pure joy that overflowed from her.

  At the sound of the front door opening, Amanda hastily bundled up the gown into the large laundry sack that they used to hide it from Pearl. Mrs. Calloway usually kept a lookout whenever Amanda was working on the dress, hurrying back to snatch it from Amanda and bring it to safekeeping in the Calloways’ rooms.

  Not tonight.

  Amanda looked for a hiding place, and ended up throwing the costumes on top of the sack just as footsteps approached down the hall.

  “I thought I saw the light on.” Fiona poked her head into the room. Her lavish hat sported holly and what looked like mistletoe. “Finishing up the costumes?”

  Amanda heaved a sigh of relief. “I thought you were Pearl.”

  “Oh,” Fiona said meaningfully as she slipped into the room. “You were working on another project. How is it coming along?”

  “Almost done.”

  “Perfect.” Inexplicably, Fiona settled down on the nearest chair.

  Amanda went to the doorway and looked down the hall. “I wonder where Mrs. Calloway is. Pearl could return at any moment.”

  “When did you get back from fixing Garrett’s supper?”

  The question rankled. “His family ate with Roland and Pearl tonight.”

  “I see.” Yet Fiona visibly brightened.

  Amanda reentered the room and straightened the costumes so the bag didn’t show, in case Pearl returned before Mrs. Calloway came to f
etch the dress. What on earth did Fiona want? “How was the concert?”

  “Fine,” the redhead said with a wave of her hand. “As always. Sawyer did mention something you might find interesting.”

  The dramatic pause was no doubt for Amanda’s benefit. Though she wanted to bite her tongue, curiosity made her ask what it was.

  “Your Jake has taken a room in Allegan until the camps start up after Christmas.”

  Prickles danced up her spine. Her Jake. Her brother. Did she dare to hope that after fifteen years she might once again be united with her last living relation?

  “Does Mr. Evans know where this man has taken a room?” she breathed.

  Fiona stood. “A rooming house by the name of Aunt Ella’s.”

  Her brother was within grasp, but for only a short time. Christmas was just a week away. After that, Jake would vanish again into the woods. She had to see him. She must.

  “Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.”

  “It’s quite all right.” Fiona waved off her gratitude. “I hope he turns out to be who you hope he is.”

  Her brother. Why wouldn’t anyone say that he could be her brother?

  Fiona swept from the room, and Amanda collapsed into a chair. For the first time, she knew exactly where to find the lumberjack Jake. From what she’d gathered, it was a difficult trip upriver some twenty miles or more. A boat would be required. Even then it could take all day, perhaps two or more if they ran into a logjam or ice, and had to resort to overland travel. And then another day or more to return. With Christmas a week away and Pearl’s wedding the day after that, she must leave for Allegan as soon as possible. She had to find a proper escort.

  She looked again out the window. The lights above the store still burned, but she could not disturb them at this hour.

  In the morning she would speak to Garrett.

  * * *

  Dawn’s light revealed the absurdity of the plan that had kept Amanda awake half the night, but she could not let this opportunity slip away. After Christmas, the lumberjack Jake would leave town. He might go into the forests nearby or decide to head north. If the latter, she would never find him.