How to Date a Millionaire

by Allison Rushby

  ‘When I was a student,’ my dad adds. ‘Thai cuisine’s very big in Australia. You going to go Thai hot with me, Nessa?’

  I nod absent-mindedly as we approach the front door of the restaurant.

  ‘Maybe we should order a whole fish. Mahimahi or something similar. What do you think?’

  ‘Sure. That would be nice,’ I say and my dad gives me a strange look as he holds the door open for me. I can’t even raise enthusiasm for a slap-up Thai meal? There must be something really wrong.

  ‘Do you like hot food, Nat? Alexa?’ Holly asks.

  ‘I love it,’ Nat says.

  ‘Me too,’ Alexa adds.

  ‘Great. That makes the lot of us. We can go all out and leave with steam coming from our ears. A table for five, please,’ she says to the man behind the carved wooden front desk.

  ‘Of course, Ms Isles! It would be my pleasure!’ He practically jumps out of his skin. Hmmm. Seems like some people still recognise Holly around these parts after all, belly or no belly.

  ‘Perhaps we shouldn’t order things too hot, though. You need to be careful of your blood pressure,’ my dad starts, but Holly waves a hand.

  ‘William, I’ll be fine. Dr Reid said everything went straight back to normal. It was probably just the stress of getting over here.’

  The four of us turn and look at Holly as we wait for our table. The stress of booking over the phone, ordering a pj, arranging a car and packing a small suitcase?

  Holly laughs, seeing our expressions. ‘Fine. I know I’m a princess. It was probably just the stress of trying on those maternity swimsuits and catching sight of myself in a three-way mirror.’

  Dinner is absolutely scrumptious and it’s nice to finally spend some normal kind of time with Holly and my dad this trip. Honestly, poor Holly has been like a mad cat for the last couple of weeks – either sleeping or chasing her tail like a crazy thing. It’s good to see her on the home stretch to having B and G at last.

  The five of us power our way through Keo’s fresh summer rolls, mee krob and some golden triangles that come with a really yummy tangerine sauce. Our plates have just been cleared and we’re all sitting back resting our stomachs and talking about what’s going to happen when Holly finally goes into labour, when Holly turns to my dad. ‘You know, you’ve never told me. What was it like the day Mia gave birth?’

  ‘Mia was your mum?’ Nat asks, beside me, and I nod quickly, my eyes turning immediately back to my dad. And …

  No. No. He’s really going to do it. Again. He loves telling this story. A bit too much, actually. He tends to cry when he gets up to the bit where I’m actually born.

  ‘I don’t think you should have asked that question.’ I shake my head at Holly. ‘He gets a bit emotional.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to …’ Holly starts.

  I cut in. ‘No, I don’t mean like that. I mean mushy. Me being born – I hate to sound so self-involved, but it’s what he likes to call his “defining moment”.’

  ‘Well, it was!’ my dad huffs.

  Holly looks first at Dad, then over at me and laughs. ‘I wonder what we’re going to do with him when he tells B and G’s story then? Two at once! We’ll have to carry a box of tissues with us at all times!’

  ‘Man-sized tissues,’ I add and Holly laughs again.

  ‘Go on then, tell me.’ She turns to my dad.

  As for me, I’m quickly out of my seat. ‘I suddenly feel the need to go to the bathroom. Be back in a minute.’

  In the end, I take three minutes. Maybe closer to four, come to think of it, because I stop to inspect one of the decorative reclining Buddhas on the way back. The story, I know from experience, takes about five minutes, including the bit about how the whole deal only took four hours and how Dad didn’t realise how close my mum was to giving birth and parked the car at the bottom of quite a steep hill, proud of what a ‘great park’ he’d got at the hospital during the busiest time of the day. After she’d reached over and almost strangled him, he learnt that it’s okay to double park when someone’s giving birth. Probably a lesson he won’t forget when it comes to B and G’s entrance into the world. Mind you, Holly will probably do something outrageous like buy a Hummer so she can drive over everyone cluttering the Manhattan streets in order to get to Mount Sinai as fast as is humanly possible. I think she wants B and G out of her body about, um … yesterday.

  Finally, I get back to the table and sit down. ‘All done?’ I joke, then look up and realise everyone’s staring at me. ‘What? Is my skirt hooked up in my underpants or something?’ But it’s not that. I can tell in an instant. I look over at Alexa. ‘Oh. You told them about Seth.’ It’s not a question. It’s a statement.

  Alexa looks decidedly uncomfortable. ‘I know. It’s just that I was worried about you. It’s a pretty big deal.’

  I shrug. ‘It’s okay. People have heart transplants. The lucky ones, anyway.’

  ‘Oh, Ness.’ Holly reaches over and grabs my hand. ‘That must have been really hard to hear. And I’ve seen him. He looks so … healthy.’

  She’s right, I think, staring down at the tablecloth for a minute. It was a hard thing to hear. It always is. It’s difficult when transplants work out so well for some people and Dad and I are left wondering why things didn’t work out like that for us. For Mum. But then you feel bad for thinking that because it’s also nice that other people got their chance. As for Seth’s own mum dying about the same time as mine, I didn’t tell Alexa about that. And I’m certainly not telling anyone here now. This is enough of a pity party as it is. Not to mention the other thing. Because, of course, apart from all of the above, don’t forget the other thing, Nessa. The more immediate thing.

  The Embarrassment, I mean.

  The fact that I made a complete idiot of myself today. That I flung myself on Seth like a leech with a taste for blood. Like a vampire leech with neat little fangs that hadn’t eaten in five years. Maybe more.

  Like I’m telling anyone about that. Ever.

  Bleh. Whatever happened to using my head? That went out the window fast, didn’t it? Honestly, I just want to sink into the Waikiki Beach sand and have someone dig me out when it’s time to go home.

  No wait, I think, my eyes coming to rest on Nat, sitting across the table from me, and remembering her new obsession. The beach isn’t far enough away. Maybe I want to be more like Loco in How to Marry a Millionaire. I could disappear off to the ski fields of Maine with a hot ranger for a couple of weeks. That ought to do it.

  Except there isn’t any snow in Maine right now. And probably no hot ranger for me, either.

  Groan.

  Oh well. Here’s hoping that burning the roof of my mouth off Thai hot style can make me forget about the events of this afternoon for a while.

  ‘Feeling a bit better, possum?’ My dad takes my arm as we leave the restaurant.

  I nod. And I’m not lying. I actually do feel a bit better after spending the evening with everyone, especially Dad and Holly, who try to cheer me up. It kind of dulls the edges of the day, being with people who make me feel comfortable. It makes me remember what I’d realised on the shuttle this afternoon – the reason I’d done my lurching vampire leech thing on Seth was because I cared about him. And, really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

  Well, apart from the fact that he wasn’t interested back. Still, as my dad says, there’s plenty of other mahimahi in the sea. That’s what he said about Ben, Ned and Justin, anyway.

  Oh, great. I’m so glad I remembered that. Are we seeing a pattern here, or what?

  And you know something? I’m getting tired of saying Ben, Ned and Justin. I think, like Shatze in How to Marry a Millionaire, I should just start calling them the gas pump jockeys. The guys who weren’t worthy.

  I nod harder at my dad now, wanting to convince him I’ve had at least a semi-good evening, because I have.

  ‘The Evil Jungle Prince was great. I’ve never had that before.’ It was great too. The chicken, c
ooked in coconut milk and dotted with fresh basil and chilli, was one of the best things I’ve tasted in a long time. ‘Maybe I can convince Holly to give up her Peanut Butter & Co. addiction and move on to a Keo’s addiction? We could fly to Hawaii every second day!’

  Next to me, my dad laughs. ‘I think we’d better start cooking some Thai ourselves. After B and G arrive, I can’t see any trips to Hawaii on the cards for a while.’

  ‘It’s enough trouble travelling with me, huh? Let alone twins.’

  Dad reaches down and plants a kiss on top of my head. ‘But always good trouble. You’re the best trouble I’ve ever had. You’re not too upset about this boy? Honestly?’

  I shake my head. Not for the reasons he’s thinking, anyway. ‘I just keep telling myself it’s nice he got his chance where we didn’t.’

  ‘That’s the spirit.’

  I snort. ‘Oh yeah. Yay, team!’

  Dad laughs at this. ‘That’s my girl. It’s good of you to think that way, but it still … er … sucks, doesn’t it?’

  Now I really laugh. Holly’s been influencing my dad’s vocabulary again. ‘You’re right,’ I tell him. ‘That’s the best word I can think for it. It really is.’ There’s silence for a moment, before I remember something. ‘Hey, when we get back, I was thinking of ringing Marc. I think there’s a chance he and Seth might know each other from film school. I haven’t asked Seth about it yet, though. While I’m on the phone, do you need to talk to him as well?’

  Dad shakes his head. ‘We spoke to him yesterday. But you go ahead. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you, sweetheart. He always does.’

  ‘Marc?’

  ‘Hey, Ness, what’s up?’

  Where do I start? ‘Just thought I’d give you a call.’

  There’s silence on the other end of the line. In true big-brother (even though he’s not even close, being Holly’s nephew, but still…) fashion, Marc knows I must be calling for a reason. I must want something.

  ‘Well, okay. To brag about being in Hawaii. And to ask you a question.’

  Marc laughs. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Do you know a guy called Seth? From film school?’

  ‘Seth? Yeah, sure. He’s a great guy. Did you meet up with him somehow?’

  ‘He’s staying upstairs from us.’

  ‘Oh, right. I remember him saying his dad has a place on Waikiki. Lucky him.’

  Yeah, lucky old Seth. Lucky old Seth with his penthouse apartment and girls throwing themselves at him here, there and at Pearl Harbor. ‘There are two other guys with him as well. Jason and Connor.’

  ‘Oh.’ Marc’s voice gives away the fact he doesn’t think either of them are in Seth’s ‘great guy’ league.

  ‘So you know them as well?’

  Marc snorts. ‘Sure. They’re a couple of buffoons.’

  Phew. So it’s not just me. ‘That’s what I thought too. What do you know about them?’

  ‘Oh, they just think they’re hot shots in the making. As far as I know, the only reason Seth hangs around with them is because of this screenplay they worked on together in a class in our first semester. It turned out quite well and now he can’t get rid of them. Not unless he wants to ditch the entire project. I think one studio actually had a bit of interest in it, so it’d be a waste to let it die because of the two other guys. Apparently they’ll try just about anything to get it up and running. Seth’s had a gutful of them, from what I hear.’

  Hmmm. So they’d try ‘just about anything’, huh? Something twigs in my head when I hear Marc’s words. That is, Marc’s words combined with all the boring ‘how to get our screenplay noticed’ talk that had been going on while we were out today. ‘Marc, they don’t know that we’re related to Holly, do they?’

  There’s a long pause on the end of the line. ‘I don’t think so. I try to keep it pretty quiet around here. People knowing would only make things harder for me. Why, do you think they do? Are they hassling you or something?’

  I shake my head, even though Marc can’t see me. ‘No, not really. It’s just that they never shut up about the screenplay. Jason and Connor, I mean.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s normal for them, unfortunately.’

  ‘Okay. Thanks for that. I just thought I’d ask.’

  ‘How’s everything else? Holly still doing all right? How’s your dad?’

  ‘She’s fine. Her blood pressure’s still the same. Dad’s scaring the tourists in his bathing attire.’

  ‘The usual, huh? What’d you get up to today?’

  ‘We just got back from eating some great Thai. And we went to Pearl Harbor. You would have liked it.’ Funnily enough, I edit out the bits about Seth, Jason and Connor coming along for the ride and also about me hurling myself on Seth. There are some things even fake big brothers really don’t need to know.

  ‘Sounds good. And Thai sounds even better. Tell me you didn’t have mee krob.’

  ‘Sorry, we had mee krob. And it was good too. It’d probably have to go in my top-five mee krob experiences, in fact. Maybe even in my top three.’

  Marc blows a whole heap of air down the phone. ‘You could have at least told me it was terrible.’

  ‘And where would the fun have been in that? Anyway, I’d better run and see if Alexa’s killed Nat while I’ve been on the phone. She’s been itching to put her in one of those hotel kiddie-day-care programs the whole time we’ve been here. The girl is out of control.’

  ‘Really? You know, she sounds kind of like someone else I used to know. Someone else and her best friend, Marilyn Monroe.’

  I grin, thinking of Nat and her new love for all things MM. ‘You can’t possibly mean moi?’

  ‘Er … of course not,’ Marc says, then laughs. ‘I meant someone else entirely. See you, Ness.’

  ‘Nessa?’ I awaken to someone shaking my shoulder just that little bit too hard (anything at all is a little bit too hard at 8 am when I’m on holidays). ‘Nessa! Wake up! You have to wake up!’ Nat’s voice gets more insistent.

  ‘Is there a fire?’ I roll over.

  ‘No. It’s the phone. And it’s for you.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘It’s Seth.’

  Okay. Now I’m awake. I sit up in bed. ‘Oh.’

  I get a smarty-pants smile from Nat. ‘I thought that might wake you up.’ She holds out the cordless phone to me and I see that she hasn’t even bothered holding her hand over the mouthpiece.

  Fantastic. So Seth has heard all of this. Well, isn’t that just dandy? I roll my eyes at her as I take the phone.

  ‘Thanks, Nat,’ I say. She doesn’t move from her spot. ‘You can go now.’

  Another smarty-pants smile, the thumbs up and she’s gone.

  Oh, brother.

  ‘Hello?’ I say into the phone.

  ‘Hi, Nessa. Sorry to wake you up. It’s Seth. Look, I was wondering if you’re busy today?’

  My heart stops beating in my chest. Um … I don’t quite know how to answer that question. Am I busy today? For what? So he can come downstairs and laugh at me? So we can’t ask him anywhere today? Who knows?

  ‘Um …’ I finally answer, because, like I said, I really don’t quite know what to say.

  ‘I thought we could go to the aquarium together. Just you and me,’ he adds hastily.

  Riiiiight. The aquarium. What does that mean? Is this, like, a date? Did I read yesterday wrong? Again, I don’t know how to answer Seth. But before I can say anything, he starts speaking again.

  ‘I’m sorry about yesterday. I want to make it up to you.’

  ‘Oh.’ The word comes out of my mouth before I can help it and there’s a moment’s silence before I remember Seth’s asked me a question.

  ‘Well, um, the aquarium sounds nice. I’ve been wanting to go there. I’d better check in with Alexa and Nat, though. You know, to see if they’ve got something to do.’ And my dad, I think to myself, but I’m hardly going to say that to Seth. ‘Can I give you a call back in fifteen minutes or so?’

&n
bsp; ‘Sure. I’ll talk to you then.’

  ‘Great.’ I turn the phone off and sit up in bed, stunned. Okay. So I guess I did read yesterday wrong. Unless Seth wants to do the whole ‘hey, I really want to be friends with you, but just friends’ thing. Yikes. I hope not. I hate that speech (who doesn’t?). Still, I guess the only way I can find out what’s going on in his head is by going to the aquarium with him. So, with a shrug, I jump out of bed and open the door.

  Alexa and Nat practically fall inside the room.

  Hmmm. ‘Catch all of that?’ I ask them.

  They both say yes, eyes as wide as each other.

  ‘You don’t mind if I go?’

  They both shake their heads.

  ‘You have to go,’ Nat says. ‘He’s cute.’

  Alexa seconds this opinion. ‘And he’s nice. Much, much nicer than those other two. Maybe he’ll soften and tell you a bit more about his heart transplant if you get to know him better.’

  ‘Maybe.’ But after yesterday, I don’t think I’ll be asking Seth much about that. If he offers, it’d be interesting to hear, but I won’t be prying. That’s for sure. ‘What are you two going to get up to?’ I ask.

  ‘A bit more shopping,’ Alexa says.

  ‘I hope he’s going to wear a necktie,’ Nat pipes up.

  Both Alexa and I turn to give her a strange look. ‘Sorry?’ I ask.

  ‘You know. A necktie. Like in the movie. Shatze thought that gentleman callers should wear neckties.’

  Alexa gives me an ‘if she catches the Marilyn Monroe bug from you, you’re in big, big trouble, sister’ stare.

  ‘Right,’ I answer. ‘A necktie. To the aquarium. I’m sure he will.’

  And before this can go any further, I take off to start in on grovelling to my dad.

  In the end, I pull out all the stops. I use the ‘Marc knows Seth and says he’s a great guy’ card, the ‘we’ll be catching the trolley and be in completely public places at all times’ card, the ‘my cell phone will remain on at all times’ card and the ‘I’ll be back by 4 pm’ card. Only then (and with a nudge from Holly) does my dad finally give me a ‘yes’.