Luck of the Draw (Xanth)

by Piers Anthony

8

  DRESS

  It was dusk and they were tired from their ride, and hungry. They had been longer underground than it had seemed at the time. Fortunately they were in a pleasant glade, and there was a pie plant in sight, several pillow bushes, and an alcove in the base of the mountain cliff that would shelter them from moderate rain. There was the sound of a river nearby. They had what they needed to camp for a night.

  Lucky found some material in the alcove. He folded it into the form of a pillow and lay down, putting his head on it. “My magic is expended and I’m worn out,” he said. “I must sleep.” Whereupon he slept.

  “We’re all tired, I’m sure,” Arsenal said. “But we can’t simply assume that we are safe here. We don’t know the habits of the dragons who come to this mountain. We need to post a sentry who will stay awake and watchful while the rest of us sleep. I suggest two-hour shifts through the night, because I have an hourglass that can be turned over for the second hour, making that convenient. The sentry will finish when the hourglass does. Who wants to be first?”

  “I’ll be first,” Anna Molly said. “I’m too wound up to sleep yet anyway.”

  “Who will relieve her in two hours?” Arsenal asked.

  “I will,” Piper said. He glanced at Anna. “Wake me when my turn comes.”

  Bryce volunteered for the third shift, and Pose for the fourth. That would complete the night.

  “It is not that I don’t trust any of you,” Arsenal said. “But I will wake irregularly and verify that a sentry is on duty. If there is any problem, wake me immediately.”

  “Meanwhile I will fetch pies and water,” Mindy said. “The rest of you get off your feet and rest.”

  “You should be as tired as the rest of us,” Anna said.

  “I surely am,” Mindy agreed. “But I am here to see that all of you are cared for. I’ll relax once I’ve done my duty.”

  The others did not argue. Soon they were off their feet, eating pies and drinking from the small folding bucket of water Mindy produced.

  “Something I would like to know,” Arsenal said. “When we faced an ugly situation with the goblins, you somehow managed to defuse it. How did you do that?”

  “The goblin queen visited Caprice Castle once,” Mindy said. “Such things are routine among royalty; all the princes and princesses know each other, regardless of species. She recognized me, once I clarified the nature of our encounter. Then I told her about the suitors and the mission. Gwenny is Queen of Goblin Mountain, with a number of vassal tribes. She happened to be visiting this one when we arrived. She has authority to direct them, and did so.”

  “She happened to be visiting,” Arsenal repeated. “Right when we encountered them. She happened to know you. That’s an incredible coincidence.”

  “Remember, Lucky had turned on his luck,” Bryce said. “So we got one huge lucky break. This was the proof of his power. It never would have happened on its own.”

  “True,” Arsenal agreed thoughtfully. “But after this experience, I believe we should travel by the enchanted paths as much as possible, regardless of the time taken. I was mistaken to want a shortcut. I do not like depending on luck. We surely will have challenges enough without taking unneeded risks.”

  The others nodded agreement.

  Mindy harvested pillows for them all except Lucky, and they lay down in the alcove to sleep. It had been quite a day.

  Almost immediately, it seemed, Piper was waking him. “Your shift,” he said, handing Bryce the hourglass. “All’s quiet.”

  Indeed, four hours had passed; the moon had shifted significantly in the sky. Bryce stood and took the hourglass. He set it on a rock and saw the sand start filtering to the lower chamber. This was an object that for once was not a pun. “I’ve got it.”

  “There’s a nymph,” Piper said. “She didn’t bother Anna, but she tried to tempt me away from my duty. Maybe she’s just bored, but she could be trying to set things up for something devious. Do not let your guard down.”

  Bryce was concerned. “What if she flashes her panties?”

  “Nymphs don’t wear panties. They run bare. You won’t freak. Enjoy the view, but stay vigilant.”

  “Thanks for the warning,” Bryce said. “I’m still new to magic.”

  “Thank you for interceding when Arsenal was trying to browbeat me,” Piper said. “It would have been awkward if I had had to turn monster then. I want to save that for real need.”

  “He’s something of a bully, but he’s a competent leader,” Bryce said. “I was just trying to keep the peace.”

  “You are doing more than that,” Piper said. “You’re a good man.”

  Bryce realized that they were becoming friends, though of course they were in competition for the favor of Princess Harmony. He assumed all the Suitors had been spelled into love for her, as he had. “So are you,” he said.

  Piper lay down, put his head on his pillow, and slept. He surely had little to fear regardless, because any person or creature foolish enough to attack him in his sleep would soon discover a horrific monster fighting back.

  Bryce walked around the glade. He could see well enough, as his eyes were acclimatized and there was a fair amount of moonlight. It was quiet, with no animals or birds in evidence. That was probably because this was dragon country; other creatures would have been scared off. But maybe the appearance was deceptive.

  The nymph appeared, walking from the shadows of the forest cover. She was a splendid figure of a young woman, with a perfect figure and lustrously long hair. “Hello, hero,” she said dulcetly. “I am Nyla Nymph.”

  There seemed to be no harm in replying to her, as long as he remained on guard against distraction. “Hello, Nyla.”

  “A handsome man like you must be popular with the ladies.”

  “Not really. I’m an old man in a young body.”

  “Let me show you how much fun I can be, regardless of your age. I have a bower not far from here where we can be alone.”

  “Alone? I thought nymphs did not care about privacy when they celebrate.”

  She came to stand directly before him, even more luscious at close range. “That is true for the nymphs of the Faun & Nymph Retreat,” she said. “To them each day is a new life; they have no memory of the prior days and no anticipation of future days. They are eternally young, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But those of us who leave the Retreat lose that innocence. We remember, and we are no longer so open about stork summoning, as they put it in the outer world. We age, and we adopt names. We gradually become increasingly human, until at last we are able to marry and raise children of our own. I would like to do that. But first I need to know more about any man I might marry. Come with me to my bower.”

  “I thought nymphs were essentially empty-headed. You don’t seem to be.”

  “I am becoming human,” she repeated. “Are you going to insist that we do it right here?”

  “I am not insisting on anything,” he said. “I love another.”

  “Then perhaps just a momentary liaison.” She lay down on the ground and smiled up at him. “Will you join me?”

  Suspicious of this direct come-on, Bryce invoked his second sight, which he had suppressed when he slept. All he saw was her on the ground and him standing there.

  Then he tried an experiment. Suppose he did join her—what else might happen? He pictured himself getting down to embrace her on the ground.

  And saw something scuttling close by. He could not make out its details in the darkness, but he distrusted it.

  He erased the mental picture, and the scuttler vanished. He had just discovered a new aspect of his talent. Not only could he see ten seconds ahead in real life, he could see ahead in conjectured life. He could run thought experiments to see how something might turn out, provided they were limited to ten seconds. That could help a lot, depending on the situation.

  He wanted to know more about the scuttler. So he got down beside the nymph. The scuttling resumed, exactly as h
e had foreseen it.

  “I knew you’d respond,” Nyla said, reaching for him.

  But his attention was on the scuttler. Now he could see it, as it scuttled right past him toward the alcove where the others slept. It was somewhat like a millipede, except that it had one giant pincer that looked capable of gouging out a coin-sized chunk of flesh.

  “It’s a nickelpede!” he exclaimed.

  “Kiss me,” Nyla said, drawing his head down to hers.

  “Some other time,” he said, wrenching his head away and jumping to his feet. He pursued the nickelpede. When he reached it, he stomped it with his shoe.

  “Oh!” the nymph cried as if in pain.

  Bryce turned on her. “You were trying to distract me while the nickelpede attacked the others in their sleep. There must be hundreds more, ready to follow if it gets through. But as you see, it didn’t get through.”

  “Bleep!” she swore. “You ruined it. I didn’t really like you anyway.”

  “Then get out of here and take your deadly bugs with you.”

  She did, and the danger was over. But it could so readily have been otherwise, had he not been alert. Now he felt weak-kneed.

  “So you bested her,” Arsenal said, startling him. He was standing by the trunk of a tree, almost invisible.

  “I didn’t know you were up,” Bryce said.

  “Exactly. I wanted to be sure you really were on guard. Now I can sleep.”

  Bryce was annoyed, but soon realized that he had no reason. He was relatively inexperienced in Xanth, and Arsenal knew it, so had backstopped him, just in case. It was the sensible thing to do. “Thank you,” he said gruffly.

  “You know, she would have delivered,” Arsenal said. “You could have possessed that luscious creature.”

  “While the nickelpedes swarmed past to gouge the sleeping Suitors,” Bryce said.

  “Exactly. You chose loyalty rather than personal bliss.”

  “Fool that I am,” Bryce agreed wryly.

  Arsenal clapped him on the shoulder. “I like that kind of fool. It means I can trust you.”

  “Thank you,” Bryce repeated, less gruffly.

  Bryce continued his sentinel duty, pondering what had happened. He had acquitted himself satisfactorily, thanks to Piper’s warning and his second sight. It could readily have gone otherwise.

  At the one-hour mark he turned over the hourglass. When it finished again, he went to wake Pose. But the demon was already awake. “You did well,” he said.

  “You were watching too?” Bryce asked.

  “Demons don’t need to sleep. We’re not made of mortal stuff. I was merely emulating the mortal style, practicing.”

  “So those nickelpedes never really had a chance to chomp us.”

  “True. But there may be more dangerous menaces observing, so we need to be careful how we show our powers.”

  “Point made,” Bryce said. He lay down in his place and soon was asleep again. He was learning more about his companions, and about Xanth.

  In the morning Mindy got breakfast ready, and they considered their next step.

  “Somewhere, here, is a prize,” Arsenal said. “One of us will win it and return to the Good Magician’s Castle while the rest of us go on to the next.”

  “What prize?” Piper asked. “Which one of us?”

  “Those are the questions,” Arsenal agreed.

  “Soup’s on, so to speak,” Mindy called. She had gathered and assembled and laid out a nice meal for them.

  That finally woke Lucky. He got up and joined them. “I needed that rest,” he said. “But now I’m recharged and ready for another hour of excellent luck.”

  “Save it for the Quest,” Anna recommended. “We’re still trying to figure out exactly what it is at this point.”

  “Let me try spot luck,” Lucky said. “That’s much less wearing than continuous luck.” He looked around. “Oh, no!”

  “No what?” Arsenal asked.

  “I think I’ve been sleeping on it. It must have been the last gasp of yesterday’s luck.” Lucky walked back to the alcove and picked up the cloth. He unfolded it and shook it out.

  It was a dress.

  “I don’t get it,” Arsenal said. “What good is a dress?”

  “You’re not a woman,” Anna said. “Let me see that.” She took it from Lucky and held it up against her body. Somehow it amplified her minimal curves, making her look considerably more buxom.

  “It’s a prize,” Lucky said. “I know it. My luck put me right on it, when I paid attention.”

  “Some prize,” Arsenal said. “Only two members of our party can use it. It doesn’t look like much.”

  “I’m going to try it on,” Anna said. “Close your eyes while I change.”

  The men dutifully closed their eyes, knowing that the sight of her panties would freak them out. The ride past the trolls had demonstrated the power of even mediocre panties.

  “Okay.”

  They looked. And stared.

  Anna had been transformed from a rather spare female to a lovely woman. Now every part of her torso was aesthetic to the point of fascination, and even the rest of her seemed to have added luster. She was no longer lean, she was elegant; no longer straight-line, but artistically curved. Even her fingers seemed to have become delicately shaped.

  “It’s a prize, all right,” Piper said. “It makes any woman lovely.” He paused, then added, “No offense, Anna.”

  “None taken,” Anna said. “I know I’m no luscious creature. That’s part of the reason I felt free to substitute for my brother. I don’t turn men on unless I really try, and even then it’s no sure thing.”

  “You do now,” Arsenal said, impressed. “If I weren’t committed to the princess, I’d want to hug you and kiss you.” He smiled a trifle ruefully. “In fact I do want to.”

  “We all do,” Piper said. “It’s the magic of the dress. Princess Harmony is already pretty; this dress would make her ravishing. She can surely use it.”

  “Let’s try it on Mindy, just to be sure,” Lucky suggested. “No offense.”

  Mindy laughed. “I know I’m no seductress. I do want to try it.”

  “By all means,” Anna said. She pulled the dress off over her head. Bryce, forewarned by his left eye, shut his eyes in time. The other men freaked out.

  “Well, well,” Anna said, not at all annoyed. She handed the dress to Mindy, who quickly changed into it.

  Then Bryce snapped his fingers, and the four men recovered. “You were caught by surprise,” Bryce explained. “But I think her panties under that dress were twice as potent.”

  Now they looked at Mindy. She, too, had been transformed. She had been a modestly pretty girl; now she was phenomenally pretty. “Oh, I like this dress!” she exclaimed.

  “Now we know,” Piper said. “This is the first of the prizes we have come for. The princess will surely like it. Which of us wants to try for it?”

  “Dresses aren’t really my thing,” Arsenal said. “There must be a more manly prize farther along.”

  “A dress like this is certainly my thing,” Anna said. “But if I had it, I’d be hard put to give it to the princess.”

  “Well, I like it,” Lucky said. “I found it, so it must be mine. I think the princess would be thrilled to have it as a gift.”

  Piper shrugged. “Then it should be yours to give her. But I’m surprised there is not more challenge to its acquisition than this. Why should such a valuable thing be left lying on the ground?”

  “Maybe so that only the sheerest luck would lead a person to it,” Pose said. “It selected you, Lucky.”

  “Then I accept it,” Lucky said. “I will give it to Harmony.”

  There was a subdued kind of flash. The dress fragmented into powder, leaving Mindy standing in her underwear. Again four men freaked out, Bryce having escaped by blinking as his left eye warned him.

  He gave Mindy time to get her regular clothing back on. “Okay,” Anna said, amused. They snapped
the others back to awareness.

  “Sorry,” Mindy said, though her tone hinted that she was not completely so. “I didn’t know it would do that.”

  “It seems this is not THE dress,” Bryce said. “But merely a copy, a demonstrator model, to show us what it is capable of. Obtaining the real one will be more difficult.”

  “I’ll say!” Lucky said, staring into the forest.

  They followed his gaze. There, rising above the trees, was a fantastic castle that had not been there before.

  “The moment our decision was made,” Arsenal said. “This is Lucky’s Quest, to win or lose. Shall we leave him to it, and be on our way to the next?”

  “No,” Bryce said. “Lucky got us here by using his luck on our behalf, to get us past the goblins. We should not desert him now.”

  “It’s his Quest,” Arsenal said. “He used his luck to get himself to it; it wasn’t just for us. Why should we help?”

  “I don’t suppose because it’s the decent thing to do?” Bryce asked with irony.

  “We’re in competition! Only one will get the princess.”

  “There can be no choice by the princess unless we each return with prizes for her to choose from. We need to help each other. The princess will choose, not us. We do not want to preempt her choices by letting any of our number fail if we can help it.”

  “That makes sense to me,” Piper said. “We don’t know what the other Quests will be like. We all may need help.”

  “If Lucky gets his dress, he’ll head home with it,” Arsenal pointed out. “He won’t be helping anyone else.”

  “True,” Bryce said. “But if we don’t help him, none of us can be certain of help from others in the future.”

  “We are not on an individual Quest with Companions,” Arsenal said. “We’ll be losing people all along. The last one won’t get any help regardless.”

  “Shall we put it to a vote?” Bryce asked.

  “Don’t bother,” Anna said. “We’re with you. We’ll all help each other.”

  “Better to be united throughout,” Pose said.

  Arsenal smiled. “I agree. Let’s get on it.”

  That was interesting, Bryce thought. Discovering himself outvoted, the man readily joined the winning side. That was one way to handle it.