Luck of the Draw (Xanth)

by Piers Anthony

  “Excellent! Right this way.” Flower led them to a nice cabin beside the lake. “You’ll find everything you need here,” he said grandly. “Including swimsuits. I know you’ll love the experience.”

  They entered the cabin. It was nicely set up with two bunks and a supply of pies and pods.

  “This is an anomaly,” Anna said. “A demon should be threatening us or making some other mischief, not treating us like pampered guests.”

  “That’s right,” Bryce agreed. “Why are we dallying here?”

  Metria reappeared. “The flowers, you idiots. Their odor drugged you.”

  “The flowers!” Bryce moaned. “We fell for it again, just as we did with the naga cakes.”

  “We are innocents,” Anna agreed. “We just walk into things, assuming everyone means well.”

  Bryce got a suspicion. “Let me check the door.” He tried the handle. Sure enough, it was locked. They were prisoners again.

  “This is getting interesting,” Metria said. “How are you going to get out? Draw another pineapple?”

  So she knew about that. She had been tracking them more closely than she let on. Could she be of help? “What would you recommend?”

  “Bombing the whole complex into sickly smithereens.”

  “That’s too extreme for the offense.”

  Metria glanced at Mindy. “You claim he’s not toast?”

  “There are other ways than bombs to solve problems,” Mindy said. “He uses them.”

  The demoness looked back at Bryce. For an instant her body assumed the form of a giant piece of toast.

  “The punishment should fit the crime,” Bryce said, nettled. “First we should ascertain exactly what the crime is, if there is one. Maybe the door locked accidentally.”

  Metria emitted a smell of burning toast.

  Bryce, prodded into imagination, got half a notion. “A setup like this should have security cameras. In case anything happens that might reflect badly on the management.”

  Now there was the smell of butter being spread on the toast.

  “So we’ll just check the record for the last day,” Bryce said doggedly. He brought out his pen and sketched an object with numbers and buttons. He invoked it, and it slid off into his hand. “Remote control,” he said.

  All three looked blankly at him.

  “Like for TV,” he said. “Only this one is for the security recording playback.” He punched the proper buttons.

  A picture formed in the middle of the room. Surprised, they moved to the edges so as not to interfere with it.

  “An illusion image,” Anna murmured.

  “A holographic projection,” Bryce said.

  “Same thing,” Mindy said.

  The image was of a rather pretty human girl. She had long fair hair and a sweet face. She was saying something, but there was no sound.

  “We have to name her,” Mindy said. “Then we’ll be able to hear her. That’s how this kind of magic works.”

  Bryce realized that he still had things to learn about magic.

  “She looks pretty innocent,” Anna said.

  “So call her Innocent,” Metria said impatiently.

  “… I do hope their healing spring can help me,” Innocent was saying to herself. “I’ll have to ask the management.” She tried the door, but found it locked. “Oh! I must have done it when I entered.”

  But no amount of twisting of the handle released the door. Alarmed, Innocent pounded on it. “Help! I’m locked in!”

  The door opened. Flower stood there. “Yes?”

  “Oh, I was about to come to you,” Innocent said, apparently unconscious of any other meaning in her choice of words. “I have this problem, and I hope your healing spring can fix it.”

  “It can, of course,” Flower said. “But you will have to bathe in the spring. Change into a bathing suit.”

  “But you haven’t even heard what my problem is.”

  “Tell me.”

  “It’s that I have dragon breath,” Innocent said. “It repels regular men and attracts dragons. I need to get rid of it! I tried getting a tooth brush, with tooth paste, to eliminate the smell, but they didn’t work.”

  “I appreciate the problem,” Flower said. “Now change.”

  “But—but you are looking,” Innocent protested.

  Flower stepped into the cabin. “No I’m not.” He turned to face away.

  “But you could look any time.”

  “Of course I won’t.” Flower turned back and held one of his flowers under her nose. She sniffed it unconsciously.

  Flower turned away again, waiting for her to change.

  Innocent hesitated, then decided to trust him. She was a very trusting soul, especially after smelling the seductive flower. She removed her clothing and got into the bathing suit that had been laid out for her. “All right,” she said, checking herself in the full-length mirror.

  Flower turned back. Now Bryce saw what Innocent evidently did not. The suit was opaque up close, but transparent from a distance. The demon was seeing her full bare body. What a rascal!

  “This way,” Flower said. He led her out of the cabin and to the shore of the nearby pond.

  Bryce nodded appreciatively. The recording was tracking her even outside of the cabin!

  Innocent dipped a toe. “Oh, it’s marvelous!” she exclaimed. “So refreshing!”

  “You must get it up to your face for it to work on your breath,” Flower said.

  “Yes!” Innocent dropped into the water and swam to the center of the pool.

  Flower’s clothing puffed away and he dived in after her.

  The scene shifted to a goblin and a harpy standing at the water’s edge. “They have joint talents,” Mindy murmured. “That can be activated only when they act together.”

  Flower signaled the two. The goblin and the harpy both touched the water. It rippled and changed color slightly. The effect spread quickly out across the pool. What had they done to the water?

  The ripple intersected Innocent. “Hoo!” she exclaimed. Then she turned to Flower and swam to join him. The two came together in a fury of splashing.

  “What are they doing?” Mindy asked. “I can’t see the detail.”

  “They’re stork summoning!” Anna said. “That water was changed into a love spring!”

  “What a trap!” Bryce said. “Lure her in, then change the water to make her passionate.”

  Soon the splashing was done, and the two separated. Flower quickly popped back to shore and his clothing re-formed. He made another signal.

  The goblin and the harpy touched the water again. Another slightly colored ripple spread across.

  Innocent swam to the bank and waded out. She looked confused. “Where am I?”

  “That’s Lethe water!” Anna said.

  Flower walked across to her. “You have just swum in our healing spring. Your dragon breath has been cured. Now you can go home and have a normal life.”

  “Ouch!” Bryce said. “He left out a rather significant detail.”

  “Now I see it,” Anna said indignantly. “It started as healing elixir, then became love elixir, and finally dilute Lethe. She has no memory of what she’s just done in the last ten minutes.”

  “But the stork will remember,” Metria said.

  “Flower doesn’t care. He’s a demon.”

  Bryce got it. “Demon Flower. Deflower. That’s what he does to visiting girls, and they never know.”

  Flower ushered Innocent back to the cabin, where she changed back to clothing and departed, as innocent as she had been when she came. The picture faded; the replay had run its course.

  “That’s what he has in mind for us,” Anna said, outraged. “And maybe there’s a lady troll waiting for Bryce.”

  “This annoys me,” Bryce said.

  Metria eyed him as if expecting something interesting. “And what are you going to do about it?”

  “I will need your cooperation,” he said. “You should enjoy this
. It’s your kind of mischief.”

  “Yes?”

  “First find that lady troll, assuming there is one. Tell her there are weeds in the center of the pool to be cleaned out. But put some vapor around her, so she doesn’t readily show up to others.”

  “And?” The demoness was as curious as the other two.

  “Assume the form of a mortal girl. Approach Flower. Let him lead you into the pool. But pop out of there the moment he signals the goblin and harpy. Maybe make the mist around the troll resemble you.”

  “Oho!” Then she reconsidered. “But the demon and troll probably do it all the time anyway, between visits by mortal girls. That wouldn’t shame them.”

  “When you pop out, pop over to the goblin and harpy. Persuade them to turn the water into hate elixir. Can you do that?”

  “While the two are embraced in the middle,” Metria said, seeing it. “Oh, that’s dastardly!”

  “Meanwhile we’ll be on our way,” Bryce said. “So as to be safely out of reach when Flower realizes what has happened.” He sketched a screwdriver, animated it, went to the door, and soon jimmied the lock to release. They were making their jailbreak.

  “You’re right,” Metria said to Mindy. “He has a gloriously devious mind.” She vanished.

  “She loves it,” Anna said. “Deception, love, hate—that’s her nature.”

  “I thought she would,” Bryce said. “That’s why she’s cooperating.”

  They were just out of sight of the spa, pedaling vigorously on their trikes, when the clamor began. First it sounded passionate. Then it sounded violent. Metria was doing her part, and surely reveling in the mischief.

  “I hope I don’t regret doing that,” Bryce said, feeling a bit guilty.

  “They deserve it,” Anna reassured him.

  They arrived at Lake Kiss Mee shortly before nightfall. It was beautiful, with serene water and friendly vegetation.

  “Do not drink the water,” Mindy warned. “Unless you want to start kissing us. It lacks the potency of a love spring, but it does make a person very affectionate.”

  “The only man I want to kiss is Piper,” Anna said. “No offense.”

  “In a few days you should be with him again,” Bryce said.

  “Yes. I live for that. But what if the princess selects him? She could, you know; his music is wonderful.”

  “I don’t think she will,” Mindy repeated. “She must know about his prior history as a suitor to Princess Dawn.”

  “Oh, I hope you’re right.”

  Mindy foraged, finding safe food and drink. They made a tent for the night, and the three of them lay down in it. Bryce was in the center, a girl on either side.

  “I can’t help wondering about my own future,” he said. “As you know, I’m an old man in a young body. Assuming I am not selected, I should try to find an old woman in a young body. She would understand. But I have no idea whom that might be.”

  “You could find a worthy old woman,” Anna said. “And take her to a youth spring.”

  “I suppose I could,” he agreed.

  “Public announcement,” Mindy said. “If you are free, I am going to try to win you myself, age be bleeped. I don’t care how old you are. You’re smart and funny and I love you.”

  Bryce was uncomfortable. “Mindy, you know I love the princess. You’re almost as young as she is.”

  “So you can tell me to get lost.”

  He couldn’t be that cruel. “Can’t we just be friends?”

  “No.”

  “Well, we’ll see, in due course.” He did not want to say that regardless of the love spell, he simply was not turned romantically on by Mindy, and doubted that the abatement of the spell would change that. But as a friend she was well worth associating with.

  “I came to love a monster,” Anna said. “The problem of age shouldn’t be as hard as that.”

  But it was, Bryce realized. For all her youth, Princess Harmony had made a profound impression on him, hardly needing the love spell. But he intended to turn her down, in the unlikely event she chose him, because of her age. It would not be significantly different with Mindy.

  But if the princess selected him, would his rationale stand up? He knew he should decline, but what if she begged him? What if she played her music to compel him? He could not be quite certain of his response.

  He drifted to sleep, troubled.

  In the morning they got up, cleaned up, and scouted for whatever it was they were supposed to find. There was no indication. Only the placid lake and a large quiet meadow where bees busily buzzed among the flowers.

  “Did we come to the wrong place?” Bryce asked.

  “Or did the Demons forget to place an Object?” Anna asked.

  “The Demons wouldn’t overlook such a thing,” Mindy said. “They surely placed it. We just have to recognize it.”

  “Maybe that’s part of the challenge, this time,” Bryce said. “To see what is right before us. Unfortunately, we are not seeing very well.”

  Mindy rechecked the scroll, but there was no additional information. “I think we have to assume that it’s here.”

  “We don’t know its size or nature,” Anna said. “Remember how the Ring of Power turned out to be the one Mindy was sitting on.”

  “I’m not sitting on anything now,” Mindy said.

  Bryce gazed out across the meadow. “We’re standing in the meadow, but I doubt it’s the whole meadow. Anyway the Ring of Power was hidden after we saw it demonstrated.”

  “But different Objects have been set up different ways,” Anna said. “Lucky was using the Dress as a pillow.”

  “So perhaps we’re missing the obvious,” Bryce said. “Yet all I see here are flowers and bees.”

  “Ditto,” Mindy said.

  Then he paused. “I forget how the saying goes, but it may be relevant. When what you seek isn’t in a likely place, you have to check the unlikely places.”

  “What, in Lake Kiss Mee?” Anna asked. “Are we looking for a kiss?”

  “I’m thinking flowers,” he said. “They are pretty, and they can be useful, at least for bees.”

  “Bees,” Anna said. “One isn’t much, but a hive of them can be important. For one thing, there’s honey there.”

  “So maybe we need to find the hive,” Mindy said.

  But they saw no hive. Wherever it was was not in the meadow.

  But Bryce kept thinking about bees. “Maybe we don’t need the hive. The bees are here. If only we could talk to them!”

  “Let’s try,” Anna said.

  “Well, they have a language of sorts in their dances,” Bryce said. “But I don’t think we could do their kind of dance.”

  “Too bad they aren’t telepathic,” Mindy said.

  “How do we know they aren’t?” Anna said. “Maybe we should try.”

  They tried, willing the bees to respond.

  Yes.

  “I got an answer!” Bryce exclaimed. He looked around. “Are you a bee?”

  Yes.

  “Are you hearing what I’m hearing?” Bryce asked the others. “In your minds?” Both girls nodded.

  Bryce looked again. “Which bee?”

  Which one do you think?

  “The important one! The Queen Bee!”

  Correct. A bee flew up and hovered before him. Will you offer a lady a seat?

  “Certainly,” he said, raising his right hand.

  The bee landed on it. Thank you.

  “So you are the Object we must win?”

  Ask for the Demonstration.

  “We would like to see it,” Bryce said.

  “Pretend one of you is an attacking ogre.”

  “I’ll do it,” Mindy said. “I can join in the demonstration, not the Challenge.” She raised her hands high. “I’m an ogre! I’ll pulp your head and crunch your bones.”

  The bees of the meadow abruptly left their flowers and converged on Mindy. They landed on her body. In three-quarters of an instant she was completel
y covered.

  “No!” Bryce said, horrified.

  Don’t bee concerned. They are not stinging her. This is merely a demonstration.

  Oh. Indeed, Mindy was not screaming in pain, though she did seem quite nervous.

  “Note the ‘bee’ talk,” Anna murmured. “She doesn’t say ‘be.’ That’s typical of such dialects.”

  That ogre would bee severely distracted, the queen continued. Worse, if we stung its eyes and tongue.

  “Eyes and tongue,” Anna repeated, shuddering. She had her own horror there.

  “The bees can protect a person from an attack by a living creature,” Bryce agreed.

  Scaly creatures are harder, but many have sensitive noses. Robots are more difficult, but we can jam their air intakes and put out their fires.

  “Impressive,” Bryce agreed, impressed.

  The bees flew off Mindy, leaving her unharmed.

  If you are hungry, we can provide honey, the queen thought. A small swarm appeared, carrying a honeycomb. They set it down before the three. Eat.

  They tried the honey. It was delicious and invigorating.

  “So you can feed a person, also,” Bryce said. “That could be very useful on occasion.”

  If you need reconnaissance, we can scout the next valley and report, or delve into a cave, unobserved.

  “That too could be very useful on occasion,” Bryce said.

  And in an emergency, we can carry a person.

  Bryce was surprised. “Carry a person? But we weigh so much more than you do.”

  A bee can carry thirty times its own weight. We will demonstrate again.

  The bees returned to cluster on Mindy. This time they formed loops of bees clinging to each other, that circled her arms and legs. Then they buzzed their wings. Mindy rose slowly into the air. They were indeed carrying her.

  “That could be useful if a person needed to cross a deep crevasse,” Bryce said, as the bees set Mindy gently down again.

  I will travel with the one who wins me, and serve the one to whom I am given. That is my role in the Quest.

  “It seems like a good gift,” Mindy said. “The services of the bees are certainly worthwhile.”

  “It does indeed,” Bryce agreed. He looked at Anna. “Is this one that appeals to you?”

  “Yes, actually,” Anna said. “I like the anomaly of a small friendly living creature instead of a powerful inanimate object. It’s a woman’s type of gift. If I win it, my brother can give it to the princess, who may like it enough to choose him.”