This Dom

by Alaska Angelini

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” I looked at his plate, noticing he had barely touched his food. Come to think of it, he hadn’t had much of an appetite at all lately.

  “I’m finished.”

  Green beans flew across the table and Devlin turned to Ava, who sent another handful scattering across the room. “And, I think she is too. I’ll get her cleaned up while you eat.” He stood, removing the tray and Ava from her seat. As they disappeared down the hall, I tried to get a grip on myself. If he came back to the bedroom, it’d be all over with. Probably within the first hour. I was a fool for him. All I wanted was some sort of validation that he would stay true. Time was the only answer, but I was sick of waiting, yet scared to do anything about it.

  Minutes went by as I finished eating and began cleaning up the mess. Ava broke into the room in a fit of giggles and Devlin was right behind, chasing her. Her hair was damp from the bath he’d given her, causing the ringlets to tighten up even more. The princess nightgown she wore flowed around her as he swept her in his arms.

  “Say it again, sweetie. Tell mommy what you told me.”

  Ava laughed harder, burying her face in his neck.

  “What’d she say?” I lifted the plates from the table, placing them on the counter as I walked back over.

  “She repeated, I love you. All three words. It was so clear, kitten. You should have heard it.”

  I softened at his pet name, just like I did every time he said it.

  Devlin nuzzled her neck, making her flail as she laughed. “Say I love you.” He lifted her to face him, but she turned to me.

  “Ma-ma, ball.”

  My finger pointed to the floor and she turned, wiggling to get down. Devlin set her to stand, shrugging while she ran to her toy. “She’ll say it again. I still can’t believe it. Did you know she said park da-da? It was this afternoon after she heard me say I was taking her tomorrow. I can’t believe how fast she’s learning.”

  “She’ll be holding conversations before you know it.” I gave him a smile and turned back to the kitchen. The hum of his voice talking to Ava put me at ease while I loaded the dishwasher. She had no problem answering or repeating what she could. Perhaps she had the discussion part already conquered.

  “You’re off tomorrow, right?”

  I paused in wiping the counter down and turned to Devlin. “Yeah, I go back on Tuesday.”

  “Good.” He bounced Ava on his hip. “I’m going to put her to bed. We’ll talk about what I have planned when I’m done.”

  My hand lifted, making him pause. “You put her to bed almost every night. I was thinking she and I needed some time...”

  “Oh.” His brow creased and he glanced down at her, almost appearing hurt at the thought of the separation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take that away from you, Victoria. It just comes so natural for me to rock her to sleep. I didn’t think of how it might affect you.”

  Almost hesitantly, he stepped forward, handing her over. Devlin didn’t want to let Ava go. His protectiveness over our daughter, even from me, was clearly evident. Although, a little upsetting. I knew why, though. It was all because of what I’d done in keeping them separated to begin with.

  “I have an idea.” What the hell are doing? Don’t say it, Victoria. You’re only going to make this harder on yourself. “Why don’t you grab a few of her books and we can all lie on my bed. I’ll listen to you read to her until she falls asleep.”

  Devlin’s face couldn’t have lit up any brighter. My heart soared even as my stomach flipped at my stupidity. Go ahead, invite him into your bed. You’re so screwed now and you did it on purpose. He’ll never leave now. No…maybe he wouldn’t. That gave me hope. Or maybe I was temporarily losing my mind.

  “Thank you.” He smiled, spinning for her room. I instantly looked down at Ava, pulling her in close. Damn, I hoped I knew what I was doing.

  I headed for the room, placing her in the middle as I climbed in to lie down beside her. Devlin burst through the door and stripped off his jacket before taking his place on the other side. His side. Would he be sleeping there tonight? I couldn’t deny that I wanted him to, but the fear was still there. The confusion was pulling me under and I was drowning in it.

  “First story.” He displayed the cover and his happiness had a smile tugging at my lips. As he adjusted the pillow and eased Ava into the crook of his arm, we both moved in toward each other. Our eyes locked and butterflies took over. It could be like this for now on. All I had to do was say something.

  I broke our connection and turned back to the first page of the story. Devlin’s voice grew further away as I was sucked into the events that had landed us here. Justine. Anger flared, but I held it under control as I compared his omission to what I’d seen since the truth had come out. Every plea, every desperate look, it all blinded me, leaving me uneasy with the realization I was quickly coming to see.

  Time passed, the comforting tone I’d learned to depend on unwavering in enthusiasm as he kept reading. If I were to give in, and that was a big if, how far was I willing to let Devlin go? I knew my acceptance would bring marriage. It’d be all or nothing with him, but that’s not what I was concerned about. Would he move us from our home? From the city? How much say would I have? He wanted a sub. Subs, from what I knew, which wasn’t much, were compliant. They put all of their trust into their Doms. I wasn’t sure I was willing to go that far. But wasn’t it about compromise, too? I couldn’t see Devlin uprooting us from everything, knowing how I felt. All I had to do was voice my opinion. He’d listen. Whether he’d feel the same way was debatable.

  A soft brush of his finger down my arm had me blinking past the daze I had been in.

  “I’m going to put her in bed. I’ll be back and then we can talk.”

  All I could do was nod. The moment he disappeared through the door, I eased up and headed to find a nightgown. What I chose had the ability to change my world upside down. Sexy silk or a low-cut neckline would be asking for trouble. Trouble I truthfully wanted.

  My fingers caught on the thin straps of a sapphire blue gown. I’d never worn it and had bought the sexy number when Devlin and I had gotten together. I hadn’t had the chance to wear it in the short time that things were good. My head shook. No. I couldn’t force myself to choose that one. Safe. I’d think more on this. There was no need to rush into a decision, even though my body begged for it. My mind was even turning on me. Just once, Victoria. Tell him it’s just for tonight.

  Angrily, I snatched the cotton knee-length white nightgown covered in a pale floral print. There, nothing whatsoever seductive about this one. It was almost laughable, really, but whatever worked.

  The door opened and I paused in heading to the restroom. “I’m just going to change real quick.”

  He paused as if he wanted to order me not to, but something flashed on his face that I couldn’t read. “I’ll be here.” He walked over and collapsed to the bed, turning on his side to stare over at my frozen stature. By some miracle, I forced myself into the bathroom and changed. I barely recalled washing my face or brushing my teeth.

  Walking back to the bed was the hardest damn thing I could do. I was climbing in bed with a predator, plain and simple, and no mommy-gown was going to dissuade the ravishing I knew Devlin Black wanted to bestow upon me. From the hunger in his eyes, I could have been completely nude and he would have looked the same way.

  “So, what do you have planned?” I eased back the comforter and slid in, pulling it up high to cover my breasts. The heaviness, the tightening of my nipples at just the thought of his fingers playing with them, left my breathing almost impossible to control.

  “First. On your knees.”

  My eyes widened and my promise to let him see my stomach refreshed in my mind. Dammit. Why had I not put on sexier panties? Plain cotton. Bikini cut, yes, but still, nothing appealing about them.

  A sigh came from my lips as I obeyed and lifted. He rose to his knees and his fingers swept up my thigh. The high
er his caress, the faster my heart pounded against my chest. At the twist of my nightgown around his fist, I nearly moaned.

  “Let me take this off of you,” he said, tugging, making my hand shoot out to his chest so I wouldn’t fall into him.

  “I can’t…” I trailed off, knowing if he stripped me, I’d be topless. He’d eat me alive.

  “You can.” His other hand came to my neckline and with a slow descent, he made a path through my cleavage until he stopped at my upper stomach. I knew he was feeling for a bra.

  “Ah. I’ve seen them before. I promise to be good.”

  The span of his fingers cupped around my ribs and he nestled in until the weight of my breast rested over the top of his hand. Uncontrollably, my fingers dug into his shirt, right over the coat of arms tattoo. Tighter, he twisted the cotton gown until our bodies were almost against each other.

  “Wait.” I tried to jerk back, blinking past the scorching lust that was burning my insides and pouring from my skin like my own personal heater, but he didn’t let go. Didn’t let me break our connection.

  “I’m so tired of waiting, kitten.”

  “This was a bad idea.” My knees shifted and I knew I was mumbling. The apprehension in my heart was forcing its way out of my mouth like it always did.

  The gown was pulled up and my arms came down to secure it from lifting past my chest. Devlin’s eyebrow cocked and the side of his mouth pulled back into that damn smile that turned me into a puddle on the floor. With slow decline, his eyes lowered and he shook his head, laughing. The change in his mood gave me whiplash.

  “Look at that. Holy…” His gaze snapped back up to mine. “Our baby. Wow, that is amazing. Here.” I was lowered to the mattress and he moved the gown to my waist. At his hands parting my thighs, I tried to lock them from opening any more. The look he threw me made me sigh. More pressure had me allowing him to spread them wide. Damn, I was going to die from being turned on. I just knew it. “There.” He eased between them, lying so he was eye level with the rounding. Fuck, he was so close. The heaviness from his upper chest applied pressure to my clit and I reached back, clutching to the pillow so I wouldn’t move against him.

  “Devlin.” His name came out huskily, making me clear my throat. It didn’t seem to faze him as he continued to look down.

  “This is amazing.” With a firm grip, he grasped my hips, lowering to brush his lips over my stomach. The sound that I made had his eyes rising to mine.

  “You have to stop,” I whispered.

  “Stop, what? Showing my baby affection?”

  Baby? Our child…or me? I couldn’t tell what he meant as he went back to kissing just above my panties.

  “Please.” My clit was tingling and I was growing wetter by the minute. The pull at my core left me wanting to shake my head back and forth in frustration. How long had it been? Months? Shit. I was in over my head and he knew it.

  “These.” His teeth tugged at the lining of my panties, causing the material to slide up. I wiggled, breaking his hold. “They’re in my way.”

  “They’re staying on.” Oh my God. I was breathless as he shrugged and lowered his head back down to nuzzle against me. The lower he got, the more I knew I should put a stop to what he was doing. Just as I was about to open my mouth, he moved higher, gliding his chest up the length of my pussy. I cried out, clutching to his shoulder. “Out. You have to go.”

  Again, the smile. “I’m sleeping here.” More weight registered as he got closer to my face. My head leaned back into the pillow and I tried pushing my palm down harder to make him stay as far away as safely possible. It didn’t work.

  “Too close? I can go back down.” He began lowering again and I wasn’t sure where to argue for him to go. Up, down…off, dammit! Yes, I needed him to separate his body from mine. I couldn’t think.

  Devlin’s face became level with my bellybutton and only continued to keep getting closer to the one place I wanted him the most. I held my breath, waiting to see how far he would go. The muscles in his shoulders flexed as his arms separated outside of my thighs. He met my stare, lowering his mouth with where I was spread open wide. At my silence, his head inched lower. I couldn’t move while I watched.

  “Say yes, Victoria. That’s all you have to do.” His mouth settled over the top of my slit and he sucked through the panties, washing away everything that was in my mind. The ecstasy that surged through my entire body had my hips arching and a moan pouring from my traitorous lips. Fuck, I hadn’t wanted him to know how on the edge I was. How easily I could give into his temptation.

  The swirl of his tongue, down, over my opening left my head lifting off the pillow. Dark strands fell over my eye and I swept them away as he pushed against the cotton to breach my entrance. Shit, I was so fucked. I didn’t want to stop, but if we continued, there was no turning back.

  “Devlin.” Just as I went to scoot back, his palm molded to my hip. Deeper, he pushed inside of me. My hand shot out and I sunk my fingers into his hair, holding on tightly. Where I thought he’d remove my grasp, he didn’t. The roughness from his cheek scratched across my inner thigh while his head rotated and his tongue breached the inside lining of my panties, thrusting right into my pussy. With his other hand, he jerked the top of them to the side, giving him full access. The suction on my folds were followed by continual thrusts. Fighting instincts kicked in, even if I couldn’t think, and I tried to turn. The pleasure intensified while he held to me with everything I knew he was comfortable doing.

  “We have to stop,” I moaned. “Please. We can’t do this. Not again.”

  “Yes, again.” The vibrations from his mouth had me crying out even louder. What in the hell was I doing? Had I said I’d think this over more? Why had I said that? No….I was making excuses to continue. Justine. Marks on her ass and back flashed before my eyes and like ice water, I sobered immediately. I knew it was wrong to pull that card on myself, but it was all I had left.

  “Off!” I thrashed, feeling myself shaking as I managed to break free and ease myself back to the headboard. “I said no.” My tone was softer, almost sounding defeated. Tears blinded me and I watched him ease back to his knees. Pain. Shit, there was so much on his face. I studied his expression. Digesting the hurt, letting it fill every inch of me. How often had I seen that look? And I was the only one causing it. No one else. Me!

  “You can sleep here. Just don’t do anything like that again. I can’t…” I didn’t bother elaborating. I hated how I kept fighting the pull to be with him. Hated how much pride I had. Devlin was mine, dammit. I knew that. I fucking wanted him. What the hell was I doing?

  Wetness glistened on his chin while he made his way to the far side of the bed, pulling at his tie. It drew me in, blinding me to the fact that he was starting to get undressed. The signs of my need of him left me pining even more. As he lifted his hand to wipe it off, I found myself not able to bear it. I needed my essence, the proof of my want of him, to be visible. Just like his marks on me had been. A reminder of our ownership over each other. Yes…I wanted to be owned…by him.

  “Wait.” I rose, not caring that I was about to cross the line on his no touch policy. My hand reached out and gripped his wrist before his fingers could connect with his face. He stilled, the tie hanging loose around his neck. Hope flashed in his eyes and I couldn’t stop myself. My other hand gripped to the side of his neck tightly, like he’d done to me so many times, and I crushed my lips into his.

  Before I could process moving, Devlin had me on my back, covering me with his body while managing not to put pressure on my stomach. Air was nonexistent as I held to him with everything I had. The feel of his tongue sliding against mine, the way he grounded my chaotic thoughts. It was all I needed. If I could just stop worrying about the what-ifs, my life could be full of happiness. The potential was there, right before me. It rested with him…but could he keep up his end? I wanted to find out. It was killing me not to have him.

  “Stop my mind,” I breathed against his
lips. “I don’t want to think anymore. I want you, I do.”

  He pulled back, his gaze narrowing. “Forever, or right now?”

  There it was, that hesitation in what I felt was right and wrong. “Forever.” I pushed the answer out before I could let it sink in.

  Back and forth, his head shook, striking fear to nearly cripple me. Had I waited too long? It seemed in contrast with the way he’d been acting, but maybe he had only been wanting sex and I’d read everything wrong? At the seconds ticking by and still nothing, I could feel my own hope diminishing.

  “Forever…there’s no going back now, Victoria. You’ve said the words. Gave yourself to me, and with it, control. You can’t take it back. I won’t let you.” His hand lifted and he cupped my face, tracing his thumb over my lips. “Tomorrow, you’re signing my contract. No more waiting.”

  Deep breaths came at a fast pace as reality left me speechless, but I didn’t let it change my mind. Instead, I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat. Son of a bitch! Was I going along with this? I was rushing. I knew it, but heaven help me if I didn’t want to see if he’d prove me wrong.

  “You promise me you’re not going to hurt me again?” It was all I could manage as multiple fears blindsided me.

  “To hurt you would be hurting myself. It’ll never happen again. I’ve been so lost without you.” His lips pressed over his thumb to connect with mine. “Just wait, I’m going to love you so much, the hurt I’ve caused will pale in comparison. All you’ll know is me and the love I can give. We’re each other’s now. Completely. No looking back. Understood?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes, what?”

  “Sir…Yes, Sir.”

  Devlin’s eyes shut while he moaned and moved his hard cock against me. “I’ve been waiting months to hear you say that again.”

  “Sir,” I purred, again, moving my hips to experience more of what I knew was to come.

  “This is it, kitten. Just me, you, and our babies from now on. A real family like we wanted.” My nightgown was pulled over my head and my panties removed. His hand gathered my wrists and pinned them over my head. “And you as my sub and wife. Tell me you want it. Say you’re going to marry me.”