by Erin Trejo
“You always hated me. Now, I hate you too. Goodbye, dad.” Logan walks me out of the warehouse and just as we step out the door, I collapse in his arms. My head pounds but Logan just holds me tightly.
“Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you in the van with Angel,” he whispers softly. My head leans into his chest, my eyes slowly close when I feel Logan climb into the back of the van. The last thing I hear is Angel yelling and calling out for me.
“You are such a brat,” Suzi laughs.
“What did I do now?”
“Nothing. It’s time, Giselle,” she says softly.
“Time for what?”
“You have Remi now. You don’t need me. He loves you and protected you more than I ever have,” she says sweetly.
“You can’t just go, Suzi. I need you!”
“No, you don’t.”
“I don’t know who I am without you!”
“You have to find yourself. Be who you truly were meant to be and I know that Remi will help you do that. I love you, Giselle.”
27
Remi
I watch her sleep in my bed. She looks so fucking gorgeous just sprawled out in front of me. She’s been out for a while but we’ve been waking her up like the doctor told us to. She is vaguely aware that I’m here. I thought something would change or become different after I killed her dad seeing how she knew about it but the more I look at her the more I know we’re the same. I never looked at things differently after a kill but with Giselle everything is different. She makes me feel more than I’ve ever felt in my life. Giselle begins to stir and I reach over and adjust her blankets. Those pretty eyes of hers open slowly as they lock with mine.
“Wasn’t I supposed to be on the back of a bike right now?” she teases me. I chuckle and move closer to her, pulling her into my arms. I press a kiss to her temple and sigh.
“We will be one day. You need to rest and regain your strength first.”
“But then we will be here for a while and you don’t like being in one place,” she reminds me.
“You’re here, Giselle. That’s all I care about. I just need you to get better, yeah?” She shifts in my arms looking a little uncomfortable.
“Are you hurtin’?”
“No. Is he dead?” I know she knows the answer to that question but she needs to hear it.
“Yeah, he is. There was a news report and shit. Apparently he was into some illegal shit,” I tell her with a grin. “Wrong person got ahold of him.”
“Was it fast?” She asks under her breath not knowing if she truly wants the answer to that either.
“Yeah. I made it quick. Does it bother you that you know I’m the one that killed him?” That question has lingered in the back of my mind for the last few days. I want to know that she still loves me and wants me. I need to know that Suzi can handle knowing that too.
“No. It’s almost a relief that I don’t have to worry about him trying to lock me up again,” she says on a sigh.
“I get that. I’m just sorry you had to be involved, Giselle. That part is rippin’ me apart.”
“Remi, I’m scared.” What? Why is she scared? I pull away and turn to fully face her, brushing her hair behind her ear.
“Why, baby?”
“She’s gone, Remi.”
“Who is? Who’s gone, Giselle?”
“Suzi is. I don’t know who I am anymore. She’s gone!” She screams a little louder. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me.
“Look at me, Giselle.” Her eyes slowly move to meet mine and God do I love them.
“She knew. She knew you didn’t need her anymore. She knew that I would protect you with my life. I will, Giselle, I promise you I will.”
“I know that, she told me but that isn’t why I’m scared. I don’t know who I am, Remi. I don’t know Giselle that well. I was always one or the other and now I’m just me and it scares the hell out of me.” I smile and press my lips to hers softy but when I pull back, tears stream down her cheeks. Moving my hand to cup her cheek, I wipe the tears with my thumb.
“Giselle, you can be you. Whoever the hell you are without her. It’s okay to move on. She wants you to move on. You have had a life that no one should have had to live but you made it, baby. You made it out alive and now you have the chance to live again.”
“What if I can’t?”
“I love you, Giselle. I fuckin’ love you and I will do whatever you need me to do to help you find yourself.”
“Are you sure this is what you want? Remi, I understand if you want to go-“Putting my hand over her mouth, she giggles. I rest my forehead against hers and watch her eyes.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“But I caused your whole world to come undone,” she whispers.
“Giselle, it’s perfectly undone. Get some rest now. I love you.”
28
Giselle
“Where the hell are we?” I ask when Remi pulls to a stop in a parking lot.
“Fuck it I know. Utah?” he pulls the helmet from his head, glancing around before shrugging his shoulders. We’ve traveled. We have been all over and I couldn’t love it any more. It’s so freeing to be on the road but the best part is being with Remi. I miss Suzi but she was right, Remi does protect me and keep me safe.
“Why are we stopped?” I ask again when Remi climbs off the bike. He drops the helmet to the ground before climbing back on facing me this time. He reaches up and removes my helmet, my hair tumbling over my shoulders. Tossing the other helmet down he leans in and kisses me.
“What’s that for?” I ask when he pulls away. His hands never leave my face and I can’t stop smiling at him. He’s perfect in an imperfect sort of way.
“I wanna ask you somethin’ and I need you to be honest with me, yeah?” This doesn’t sound good. My stomach trembles as thoughts run wild in my head. Without Suzi, it’s a strange feeling to have.
“Okay.”
“You know I love you, Giselle. You know how much I want you but I need to ask you somethin’ and it’s serious,” he says, his face hardening with each word. My heart wants to leap out of my chest but I swallow hard and await the question.
“What is it?”
“I think it’s time we both made a decision about our lives. I want you to be with me forever. I want you, Giselle. So I’m askin’ you if you are ready to be my old lady,” his words slam into me as my eyes widen. I stare him not blinking as I let that sink in. He still wants me? After everything that’s happened and he still wants me?
“Are you gonna say somethin’?” He asks with a chuckle when I don’t answer right away.
“I…are you sure?” Cocking my head to the side to study him he laughs hysterically.
“If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t ask you. In fact, I almost didn’t ask you.”
“What? Why?” Okay now that pissed me off a little.
“I was just gonna tell you and not give you a choice,” he shrugs. Asshole.
“Remi, I just don’t want you to regret it later.” His hands slips into my hair, tugging my face closer to his.
“I would never regret anything with you, Giselle. Now answer me.” Even with my heart beating out of my chest, I smile and nod.
“I’d love to. I love you, Remi.” His smile couldn’t be any brighter. He kisses me roughly, yanks me off the bike and drags me toward the row of buildings.
“What the hell are you doing now?” I squeal as I try to keep up with him.
“Markin’ what’s mine,” he growls as I laugh. Looking up I see we’re in front of a tattoo parlor.
“With ink?” I gasp making him laugh.
“Goddamn right with ink.”
“If I get one so do you,” I demand. Remi stops with his free hand on the door handle before looking down at me.
“What do you want me to get?” He asks.
“What am I getting?”
“Property of Remi,” he says proudly.
/> “So, you can get Property of Giselle.” The light in Remi’s eyes sparkle so brightly that I can’t help but smile with him.
“Fair enough. Let’s go, baby.” As we head inside my heart swells. We both came from fucked up backgrounds but in an imperfect world we make sense perfectly.
“Get that sweet ass in the chair, babe. The faster this gets done, the faster I can fuck you,” Remi slaps a hand on my ass.
“You planned this didn’t you?” I ask eyeing him as we follow the guy into a room.
“Goddamn right I did. You think I don’t know where the hell I’m at? I made these plans before we ever left Kred’s.” He chuckles.
“What if I would have said no?” I tease him. Clearly he didn’t find that as funny as I did. He jerks me back toward him, my body slamming into his.
“You’re gonna pay for that mouth of yours later.” A shiver races up my spine before he kisses me rough and hard.
“I’ll gladly pay for that every day of my life.”
“Fuckin’ right you will. That’s what this tatt means.” As I sit in the chair the man gets his stuff ready as I look up at the smile on Remi’s face.
“Where are we going next?” I ask excitedly.
“Anywhere you want, babe.”
The End
BOOK 2
For My Brother
29
Ryder
“I know Pop. I just don’t have the time right now.” It’s a lie. It’s always a lie. I have the fucking time to go home, I just choose not to. To many memories that I’m not ready to face await me there. Call me a coward. Hell, you might be right.
“You think I don’t get it but I do, Ryder. He needs his brother though,” my dad says into the line. I sigh, tipping my head back and resting it on the dirty motel couch.
“What’s goin’ on now?” I ask as I stare at the smoke stained ceiling.
“He’s using a lot. Jenny can’t do shit to get him to stop. You know she’s pregnant again, right?” Using my free hand, I press my fingers into my eyes wishing this was all someone else’s problem. It’s not really mine but he is my family.
“I didn’t know she was pregnant again,” I say blowing out a breath. I reach over and grab the pack of cigarettes off the table, shaking one out and popping it between my lips. Grabbing my Zippo, I light up.
“You need to stop smoking,” my dad says causing me to chuckle.
“Workin’ on it, Pop.”
“I mean it Ryder, Jack’s a mess. He barely works, barely takes care of the kids. He’s running around with some of those assholes from upstate. I don’t know what to do with him anymore.” I can hear just how tired he is. I know my dad had done everything he could to raise us boys right after my mom died. He tried, gave us his everything but that wasn’t enough for either of us. Jack couldn’t cope and went for drugs, I wanted more and went in search of a fairy tale that blew up in flames.
“From upstate?” I ask sitting up, resting my elbows on my knees. That’s not really what I wanted to hear.
“Yeah, those fucking thugs. They use him. Last weekend he got picked up on a DUI charge running one of those bastards around. It’s all getting out of hand, son.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath before blowing it out.
“It’ll be about a week before I can make it back, Pop. I’ll deal with him then,” I finally tell him. I don’t want to go back there. My hometown just reminds me of what I had and lost. It’s a heartbreak that I’m not ready to relive but if Jack is getting in that deep, I need to handle this before it gets too far.
“Good. Good, I’ll do what I can until then. I know Jenny will be happy to have someone around to kick his ass into gear,” he chuckles before coughing.
“Who needs to stop smokin’ now?” I tease.
“Oh fuck off. I’ve been smoking for thirty-five years. I’ll be buried with one hanging from my lips.” The amusement in his voice is refreshing. I miss my family, I really do. I just hate that little ass town that they still live in.
“Heard that. I’ll call you before I head that way.”
“Okay then. Be careful.” The line goes dead before I can say anything further. Tossing my phone onto the couch next to me, I grab the bottle of Jack and bring it to my lips. Going back there wasn’t on my list of things to do. Goddamn Jack.
“You’re leaving me?” Rose purrs from her spot on the bed.
“Just like every other time.”
“You should stop doing that. I know how much you don’t want to go back. Why would you do it?” She pulls the sheet up to her chest as I glare at her.
“My brother needs me. That’s the only reason.”
“You sure it isn’t because of her?” She asks raising her eyebrow. I know she likes to challenge me. Hell, I like it too but not on this. Rose might be my fuck buddy and someone I consider a friend but she doesn’t run my life and she sure as hell isn’t going to tell me what to do or where to go. I snuff out my cigarette before shoving off the couch and moving toward the bed. She watches me, my cock hard and ready.
“I left because of her. You really think I’d go back for round two? I can’t get over what she did, Rose. Don’t matter how much I wanted to back then. It’s over now.” She nods her head, reaching up to run her fingers through my hair.
“You say that but I can still see the look in your eyes.” Shaking my head, I drop onto the bed on my back. Rose climbs up, straddling me before lowering herself down my cock.
“What look is that?” I ask her, grabbing her hips roughly in my hands.
“The look that says there are still feelings inside of you for that girl.” She moans the last word as I raise my hips to help her out.
“The only look in my eyes right now is the one sayin’ you better fuck me good before I kick your ass out,” I warn her. Rose giggles before raising up and falling back down. I hiss between my teeth as she rides me hard and fast. Just like that. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I needed. I need to get lost in something so that the idea of going home doesn’t linger too long in my head. If it does, I fear nothing is going to end well.
30
Xena
“I honestly don’t give two fucks, Dawson,” I snap as I watch him pulling his shirt back on. He likes to think he can rile me up, get me to come after him first but I’m not that stupid. At least not today I’m not.
“So you don’t mind sharing my cock?” He drawls in that southern accent with his eyebrow raised.
“Not today I don’t. When has it ever been mine to begin with?” His eyes narrow as he stalks toward me. His hand wraps around the back of my neck, squeezing tightly as he pulls me closer to him. His warm breath hits my skin and I can still smell the remnants of last night’s stale liquor on his breath.
“You like it don’t you?”
“Like what?”
“The fact that you can piss me off within seconds. You like when I get fired up and get rough with you,” he hisses the words. I stare at him, unwilling to let him win this round.
“Get rough with me? Is that what they call abuse these days?” His eyes narrow even further as is grip tightens. A slow smile curls the edges of his lips and it pisses me off that he has this hold over me.
“Abuse huh? You want abuse, I can show you abuse.” After the words leave his mouth, he releases me and I figure that’s the end of that. I should have known better. Dawson swings around slapping me across the face so hard my head snaps to the side. I can taste the blood in my mouth as I turn to face him once more. A smirk crosses my face as I glare at him.
“That the best you got?” I hate him. Hate him more than words can say but that doesn’t change the reason he’s here. If I could toss his ass to the curb, I’d sure as hell do it but I can’t. It’s not even an option for me right now. Dawson steps toward me when a little knock sounds on the door.
“Aunt Xena? Are you in there?” Dawson smirks and takes a step back to pull the door open.
“What do you want?” He asks him.
&
nbsp; “Momma wanted Aunt Xena to come downstairs.” My nephew, Joey stands there looking up at a monster. He doesn’t touch the kids and he’s lucky for that. I’d call it all off if he went near them and stab him in throat to make sure he was dead.
“She’s coming.” Joey nods and turns on his heel to walk away and I take that as my cue to exit the room. I move quickly and sidestep Dawson, leaving the room as he laughs behind me. Sick bastard knows he has me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Casually walking down the stairs, I head into the kitchen to see my sister, Jenny and her kids at the table eating.
“You needed me?” She looks up and half smiles at me.
“Figured you needed out of that room by now.” I nod and grab a cup, pouring myself some coffee before I walk over and sit at the table with them. Ruffling Joey’s hair, he grins up at me.
“When are you going to grow that tooth? You want to be toothless forever?” I tease him.
“I can’t just make it grow back,” he laughs. Six years old and has no clue what life holds for him. Wouldn’t it be nice to stay young and carefree forever?
“Where’s Jack?” I ask looking at my older sister over the top my cup.
“Sleeping. Thank God,” she says sadly.
“I’ll figure something out, Jenny. I promise.”
“It’s not even that. You know I love him. I just don’t know how to stop him from killing himself,” she says looking down at her hands. I know this is hard for her. Jack has been using a lot more lately and there’s been way too many suspicious assholes hanging around this house in the past few weeks.
“You can’t,” Dawson says as he walks into the room. No one looks his way or even acknowledges him until he walks over and presses a rough kiss to the top of my head. “I’ll be back later.”
“I can hardly wait,” I say sarcastically. He chuckles but it’s a downright evil sound. Rolling my eyes, I take another sip as I look around the table. Joey is six. His sister Carmon is four and that little girl in my sister’s belly has yet to be born. This is my family. All four of them. They are my life and everything I do revolves around them. It wasn’t always that way. I had a life once but I ruined it. I said things that weren’t true and hurt the one person I cared about the most. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing but looking back now I know I was wrong.
