The Footsteps of Cain

by Derek Kohlhagen

  “Something’s...wrong.... Feel like...I’m going to pass...out....”

  The darkness closed in around him and he felt himself slipping closer to a threat he hadn’t known in twenty-thousand years. It was like a pit at the bottom of a pit, blacker than the shadow through which he tumbled. It opened to receive him, after being left unsatisfied for far too long. The vacuum of it pulled him down, closer to it. His chest filled with ice.

  The spirit spoke to Ejelano from the warmth...faintly...light years away.

  OOPS...SORRY. FORGOT. HERE YOU GO.

  Something moved in his chest, like a hand reaching inside him.

  Again.

  CLEAR!

  Energy burst into Ejelano. It flared, coursed through him and overloaded his brain and nervous system. His whole body was on fire.

  And then, he felt a sensation that came from one of the very first threads of his tapestries-long memory. Something else moved in his chest, but this time it wasn’t anything foreign, no invading or unwelcome presence. This was something that was part of him. Something that marked all humans as such. Something that gave life—real, non-artificial, natural life—with each pulse of its muscular form. It squeezed once. Twice. Three, four, five times...gradually finding the rhythm that all living beings understood and cherished.

  It was his heart. It was back home, and it was beating.

  The black pit below screamed up at him, swirling madly but impotent to arrest the escape of its long-sought-after prey. He felt himself yanked upward out of the dark and back into the warmth of the living world. His vision brightened and cleared, and he knew he was back, rightly in the body he knew to be truly his.

  He knelt there, feeling the throb of life in his chest, reveling in the movement of blood from his core to his fingers and toes and back. The feeling was exquisite, and he found himself sobbing in spite of himself.

  “It’s been...so long! I can’t believe it! I can’t believe I’ve forgotten how it feels! It’s...it’s wonderful!”

  DON’T GO THANKING ME, YET. (NOT THAT YOU ACTUALLY WERE, I MIGHT ADD.) I’D SUGGEST YOU TO BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL WITH YOURSELF, FROM HERE ON OUT.

  “So I’m...?”

  MORTAL, AGAIN? YUP. THERE CAN’T BE ANY CHEATING FOR THIS LAST PART. NO SUPER-STRENGTH, NO SUPER-SENSES. NO HELPFUL, SEETHING BLOB OF AERIAL BLACK DEATH IN THE SKY.

  Ejelano looked up. Sure enough, the shapeless, black mass that he’d become so accustomed to was nowhere to be seen. There was only the White, hovering above him. He wasn’t sure it was a good trade.

  NO SHIT.

  Ejelano regarded the ancient dwelling before him, rubbing his chest and wondering what it meant. He craned his neck trying to see inside it, but all that met his eyes was shadow. He couldn’t make out anything...any internal details at all.

  “Why is it here?”

  The voice sighed.

  EJELANO, ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT, ONCE YOU START THIS, YOU’LL BE ON YOUR OWN. I WON’T BE WITH YOU. ALSO, YOU’LL HAVE COMPLETE FREEDOM TO DO AS YOU CHOOSE.

  “And if I refuse to enter?”

  THAT WOULD BE A BAD CHOICE. LET ME JUST SAY THIS...DON’T REFUSE. AND REMEMBER, WE STILL HAVE A TIME PROBLEM.

  Ejelano let out a breath and shook his head.

  “I don’t understand.”

  YOU WILL.

  He got up and crept forward, toward the mystery of the leather flap that served as the hut’s door. The nearer he got, the more apprehensive he became.

  There was something else. Every step he took in the direction of the small house injected a ghostly fuzziness into his head, slowly stuffing itself into places where his memories were supposed to be. Eventually there were enough holes in his brain that he started to wonder why he needed to go in at all. He knew there was a reason...felt like someone had told him to do it. But who, and why, he found he couldn’t recall.

  Where am I? What was I doing, again?

  The answer was important, he thought, but now it was too slippery for him to get a hold of. There was only the door before him, and the vague impulse that he had to go in.

  EJELANO.

  A strange voice spoke inside his head. It was an odd sensation.

  Who’s Ejelano? Oh, right...that’s me. I think that’s my name.

  “Yes...?”

  GOOD LUCK.

  He nodded his thanks, although not really knowing why, or to whom.

  Suddenly, a scream split the air. It was coming from beyond the doorway, from inside the heart of the dwelling. It was a woman’s voice, guttural, filled with terror and pain and torment, like an animal caught in a trap.

  The rest of his head may have been a haze, but he was still certain he knew that voice. He’d heard a younger version of it as a child when they’d played together in the boughs of the forest. He’d heard it as they grew older and become aware of one another as man and woman. He’d heard it yesterday, bidding him love and goodbye, as the other women swept her off to prepare her for today.

  Yes.

  Today was the day of their Joining. Today was the happiest day of his life.

  But now, something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. Something unthinkable had happened, and he didn’t know what. He needed to find her...needed to save her.

  He screamed her name, a name that had touched his lips a million times.

  “Lena!”

  Abandoning all thoughts of himself, he plunged headlong into the hut...

  ...and into madness.

  * * *

  Chapter 53 – Ejelano

  The scene that greeted him froze his soul.

  She, on the bed, surrounded by the decorations, the flower petals and tree leaves that were all part of the celebration of their Joining, now all made a mockery. He, Shaleer, Ejelano’s life-brother, standing over her, the thief of her purity...the dragon, revealed.

  Ejelano’s whole world was imploding.

  “No....”

  They turned to him. They were both wide eyed, looking around the room in disorientation.

  “Please...no...not her....”

  “Ejelano, no!” Lena screamed at him. “Wait!”

  “Anyone...anyone but her....”

  Ejelano had trouble wrestling his mind into focus. All he could see was red...all he knew was rage. He turned the full heat of his anger on Shaleer.

  “You were...my brother! My brother!”

  Shaleer looked at him with wild eyes, blinking furiously.

  “How...?” he whispered. “How am I here?”

  Ejelano felt his hunting knife in the sheath against his thigh. In that moment, it seemed far heavier than it had any right to be, made dense by the moment...his growing desire for Shaleer’s blood. He didn’t remember strapping on the sheath, but he must have. He’d only just returned from the hunt.

  Hadn’t he?

  Shaleer put his head in his hands.

  “By the forest...does this mean it’s starting again?” he moaned in anguish. “No...please no...I can’t go through it again...please...no....”

  Inside Ejelano’s fury, he was puzzled by Shaleer’s strange words. His former friend was babbling...seemed to be suffering from some sort of madness. If Shaleer had gone insane, it might explain why he would do such an abhorrent thing, but could never, ever be enough for Ejelano to forgive him for what he’d stolen away, especially on this day, of all days.

  “How could you do it?!” Ejelano screamed. “How could you?! I’ll kill you! I’ll rip you apart!”

  “Ejelano!”

  Lena, sitting up on the bed, had her arms extended toward him. She was all but ignoring Shaleer’s presence and her palms were open and up, trying to stop him, of all things.

  “This isn’t what you think, my love! You have to look past it! Please, listen to me!”

  Why would she try to stop him? She’d just been violated, soiled by Shaleer’s lustful breach of trust. Ejelano could still smell the bastard’s stink on her. Why would she—

  Unless....

  Oh.
No.

  Not her...not her, too.

  “Lena...why?” he sobbed. “Why?”

  She blinked, and alarm blossomed on her face when she realized what he was thinking.

  “No! No, Ejelano, you’re wrong! I would never...please, you have to stop and listen!”

  Ejelano stopped hearing her words. He looked back and forth between the two conspirators, his world in ruins. He didn’t understand. He’d always been true to her, even with the temptation that prominence with the people had brought upon him...the glances and advances from other women in the village. But he’d always remained loyal. He’d never violated her trust.

  And now, for her to be with another, on the very day of their Joining? The very idea defied belief.

  Shaleer’s wild eyes were boring into his.

  “I won’t go through it again! Not another eternity! I can’t! All the things I did! All the things it made me do!” He turned his face upward and yelled up into the air, like there was somebody else in the room that Ejelano couldn’t see, somebody that was hovering near the ceiling. “You can’t have me again! I won’t let you...do you hear me?!”

  His fevered gaze dropped to the knife on Ejelano’s leg. He started to come forward with his hands out.

  Ejelano, sensing that Shaleer was seeking his blade, immediately dropped down into his warrior’s stance. He dropped his hand, seized the knife in his grip, and pulled it free from its sheath. He brandished it before him, and it quivered in the air. His anger make it difficult to keep the weapon steady.

  Shaleer stopped short, eyeing the knife. Abruptly, his face brightened and he cried out, as if he’d found the answer to some great riddle.

  “Yes! That’s it!” he said. He began to nod vigorously, and clasped his hands before him. “Please, Ejelano...kill me! Kill me!” he begged.

  Lena yelled out with renewed panic.

  “No! Don’t listen to him! Ejelano, there’s too much at stake!”

  Shaleer stepped in front of her, so that he was the only one in Ejelano’s vision.

  “I deserve it! Look what I’ve done! I’ve taken her...raped her! You’ll never have back what I’ve taken from you! You want to...I can see it in your eyes! Do it! Have your vengeance!”

  Ejelano’s brain was baking inside his skull. His knotted confusion and righteous anger were mixing into a toxin that had seized his muscles, turning them to stone. Nothing was making any sense. Why was Shaleer so desperate to die? He was a coward, yes. A fiend. But...suicidal?

  Shaleer must have seen his indecision. “Ejelano, I’ve been cursed to live a life that no man was ever meant to! Please!” He came forward again until his chest pushed against Ejelano’s free hand. “I had her...all of her! And she loved everything I gave her! Come...do it!”

  He wanted to. There was nothing he wanted more. Shaleer’s crime had made him the most bitter of enemies, and every impulse was demanding Ejelano to plunge his knife deep into the body of his betrayer, withdraw it, and do it again and again until his hand lost the strength to hold on to the weapon. His fury was ravenous, and demanded sweet, finger-licking appeasement.

  He drew the knife back into a thrusting posture, pulling tight the tension of his coil. Every fiber of his body cried out for justice. His knife hand shook with desire, and he bared his teeth at the monster before him, the man whose life-long friendship had only been a ruse...a deep, slicing falsehood.

  “No!” Lena wailed. “No!”

  “I’m right here!” Shaleer shrieked. “Destroy the man who ruined you!”

  Ejelano screamed out in frustration. Why was he holding back? He could have his satisfaction! It was right there! He only needed to reach out and take it!

  Yes! I can have this! I can kill him! He deserves it!

  But still, even as he quivered with bloodthirsty desire, something probed at him, some diminutive, lingering doubt. Everything about the scene inside the house felt...wrong. No matter how much he wanted to hold on to his anger and do its bidding, there was something that was rising up from inside him, something that was warning him...something reminding him of the first lesson he taught all his younglings...his hunters-in-training. He heard his own words inside his head, no matter how badly he wished to banish them:

  “The spear, the knife...these are not tools of emotion. To use them, you must be as the metal. Cool. Solid. Anger, frustration, fear...these things spoil the meat, even if you bring any back, at all. Be as the metal. That is the way of our people. That is the way of the hunter.”

  He was a hunter. The best in his tribe. And now, at his most critical time, he finally remembered the sanctity of control. He fought down his murderous impulse, and little by little he replaced it with the lesson he’d taught many hunters-to-be, a student of his own past teachings.

  He withdrew from Shaleer, who was practically frothing at the mouth.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Shaleer asked him. “Why do you not strike? You know what I’ve done to her!”

  “No,” Ejelano said. “You want this too much. Something is wrong. Something...false.” He looked around the interior of the hut, from the decorations, to the bed, and finally, glimmering and glinting, the sharpening stone.

  He stared at the rock, and his mind jabbed at him. There was something...off...about it. Not the size or the shape...no, the dimensions of it looked right. Some other characteristic of it was out of place. It was right there...he just had to patient, and—

  That was it. It was the color.

  The stone was dark...charcoal, like a shadow, but it should have been...what?

  It should have been red. Crimson. And it should have been glistening...wet. It should have been stained. Stained, with...

  ...with blood.

  “Yes, my love!” Lena said. She was standing now, her ruined ceremonial dress falling around her form in rags. “Yes...look, and remember!”

  The blood on the stone...it had been stamped into his memory a long time ago, and was one of the few things about his past that hadn’t been erased from it, by time or the spirit’s meddling. It had been her blood, and he’d been the one who spilled it.

  “We’ve been here before, the three of us,” he whispered, the fragments lethargically but surely locking together. “More than once.”

  “Yes,” she said, her eyes shimmering. “So many times.”

  “And I made a choice, each time. And...I was wrong. I’ve always been wrong.”

  She took a few steps forward.

  “Yes. But that can change. You...can change. It’s why you’re here. It’s what all of this has been about.”

  Ejelano looked into her eyes. The strength of the love he saw in them lit fires next to the frozen parts of him. He knew she spoke the truth, because he trusted her more than any other soul. He’d been stupid. She never could have betrayed him. She was incapable of such a thing.

  “No!”

  The cry had come from Shaleer. His face was contorted with hatred and panic, his gaze vacillating back and forth between them in disbelief.

  “I won’t do it again! I won’t!”

  He threw himself at Ejelano with his hands before him, fingers outstretched...flexing. So ferocious was his attack that Ejelano was taken aback, and he backpedaled as much as he could to buy himself some time to think and adjust. But Shaleer kept coming, kept pressing him, and soon enough the distance was closed between them and Ejelano went down under the weight of his lost friend. Shaleer clamped one hand on Ejelano’s wrist and pinned his knife hand down. With his other hand, he savagely pummeled away at Ejelano’s face and throat, while Ejelano struggled to block the flurry of incoming blows. His madness had given him a strength that Ejelano, now vulnerable in his mortal body, wasn’t prepared for.

  Many of the strikes got through, and soon enough, Ejelano’s vision started to blur. He felt the knife slip from his hand and clatter against the stone, and then it was lost to his vision and his reach. He desperately groped about for it, but Shaleer still held his wrist and cut off his e
fforts, holding him firmly to the dirt.

  Then, there was another scream, and a weight struck Shaleer from behind. Through the haze, Ejelano made out Lena’s arm snaking around Shaleer’s throat and squeezing, causing the other man to sputter and choke.

  Shaleer’s grip loosened, ever so slightly, around Ejelano’s wrist. It was all the opening he needed.

  Ejelano wrenched his hand free and sent a fist across Shaleer’s cheek that would have stunned the most powerful of men, and Shaleer was no such man. The crazed man’s eyes rolled with the force of the blow and he reeled backward. Lena was still clinging to him, constricting his throat and pulling at his hair.

  With Shaleer’s weight off of him, Ejelano sprang to his feet and prepared to charge.

  Shaleer turned his attention to his most pressing need—disengaging Lena’s spider-like grip. Swaying, the man drunkenly grabbed hold of her arm...the one around his neck...and pulled it loose. Then, he twisted and bodily threw her off of him. She sailed through the air...

  ...toward the rock.

  Ejelano saw her falling in slow motion. He heard himself yelling, as if his voice alone could cushion her fall. His mind flashed to that day, countless lifetimes ago, when it had been he who had sent her tumbling onto the unforgiving stone, the day when he’d committed the tragic mistake that had started the great wheel of tragedy in motion. He saw her falling and started forward, but alas, without his immortal body, he was slow and clumsy and had no chance to arrest her accursed momentum.

  Her body struck the rock and bounced off with a sickening, fleshy sound. She flopped to the ground beside it and came to a rest. Silent. Still.

  Ejelano tried to make himself move, but the vision of Lena laying by the rock had mired him down. In his mind, the past and the present merged, and all he could see was her blood on the stone and in her hair, and her sightless eyes, empty of the oceans of life they’d once held. Even with all the things he’d done, before and since that dark day, he would never feel a loss of the same all-encompassing magnitude. And now, it had happened all over again.

  Shaleer used Ejelano’s incapacitation well. Two clenched, balled-up fists slammed into the side of his head, and then all he could see were sparks and multi-colored blobs. All at once he was floating, weightless in a murk of rippling pain.