Kids Like Us

by Hilary Reyl

  Alice is wearing a black cotton T-shirt dress with straps crisscrossing the back. It looks like the dresses Elisabeth wears for lyrical dance class. Her arms are wiry, like yours. She takes both your hands and says, “Come on, let’s go to the other side of the house.”

  There is a kiss. The old strangeness from the first kisses is gone. There is the new strangeness of knowing it will never be like this anymore.

  You say to her, “I can’t believe I ever wanted you to be someone else. I hate it when people want me to be someone else. I’m sorry.” And she says it’s okay, but that she doesn’t want to talk about it because it will make her sad. This is when you understand that she is as sad as you are.

  This morning, you swim laps in town. You memorize the bottom of the pool, the six black tile lines, the seven major cracks.

  You have a late breakfast on the terrace with Mom, Elisabeth, and Fuchsia. There are croissants and rhubarb jam. After Fuchsia leaves and Elisabeth goes to brush her teeth, you ask Mom if she is okay about breaking up with Asparagus Man. She says it was never serious, and she could tell you didn’t like him, so she thought you would be relieved. Then she gives you a deep, crinkled smile. “Wow, Martin, your first thought was for your old mother?” she asks. You nod. “But you’re not old,” you say.

  When Bernadette kisses you good-bye on both cheeks, you do not flinch.

  You pack your postcard collection.

  The flies are giving their same concert.

  Asparagus Man is not doing dishes.

  Arthur is on the train platform kissing Elisabeth good-bye, saying he will see her in LA in a few days.

  Your friends are on the platform too. They have ditched school this afternoon to say good-bye. They are waving and shouting and taking pictures with their phones as the train pulls away. They will not see you in LA in a few days.

  Alice hands you a bag of madeleines. “Ça va?” she asks, meaning, “Are you ready?” “Ça va,” you answer. You would love to save the madeleines, but this is not a good idea because they will get stale. Trying to save them will only make you lose them eventually. So you eat them slowly, one after the other, while the fields of beets and sunflowers go by.

  Elisabeth is wearing her hawthorn dress on the train. Mom is sleeping.

  You don’t feel like an old man full of regrets who longs after past styles of hats or Doc Martens. You feel like I do. Like you are at the very beginning of your life. Things are always changing, but there is also a solid place that is you. A place where the people you love are not fleeting. A place where you, Martin, in seat forty-five at 6:03 p.m., are I.

  Acknowledgments

  Kids like Us has been wildly lucky in its readers along the way. You have meant the world to me.

  Thank you to my brilliant agent, Stéphanie Abou, and to the amazing Joy Peskin at FSG. You both inspire me with the courage of your convictions.

  For their generous red pens, I am grateful to Sarah Burnes, Ellie Garland, Logan Garrison, John Gill, Bob Gottlieb, Shireen Harri, Rachel Knecht-Scher, Hannah Nordhaus, Eleanor O’Neill, Margie Stohl, Amor Towles, and John Wyatt.

  For their enthusiastic reads and encouraging words, thanks to Dyanne Asimow, Micheline Barthe, Katherine Blackmon, Keli Block, Elisabeth Boger, Ann Brashares, Jasie Britton, Katie Browning, Maude Chilton, Jim Clayson, Nick Cloke, Susan Cloke, Gretchen Crary, Melissa de la Cruz, Nancy Danahoe, Stephanie Douglass, Emily Eakin, Monique El-Faizy, Hilary Garland, Dave Gilbert, Lizzie Gottlieb, Claudia Grazioso, Jon Hall, Julia Hall, Latifa Hamiani, Phoebe Herms, Joanna Hershon, Lindita Iasilli, Sara Lebow, Ben Lieberman, Ann Mah, Linda Marini, Seema Merchant, Bonnie Moses, Maureen O’Neill, Kirsten O’Reilly, Maggie Parker, Joanne Ramos, Caroline Reyl, Dominique Reyl, Eldine Reyl, Francois Reyl, Olivia Reyl, Rafi Simon, Anjali Singh, Bennett Stein, Kimbrough Towles, Maggie Towles, and Fionna Watt.

  Tess O’Neill, I treasure the moth sneakers you made for me.

  Many thanks to Penny Hueston and Michael Heyward at Text Publishing and Caspian Dennis at Abner Stein for taking Martin around the world.

  Thank you to Charles, the light of my life and my model for persistence, and to my terrific daughters, Ella, Iris, and Margaux.

  Finally, thanks to my mother and father, Harriet and Tim Whelan, whose optimism is everywhere in this book, and to my wonderful sister, Eleanor O’Neill. You are the most hopeful of all.

  About the Author

  Hilary Reyl has spent several years working and studying in France. She lives in New York City with her husband and three daughters. Her adult novel, Lessons in French, was an editor’s pick on Oprah.com. Kids Like Us is Hilary’s first young-adult novel.

  hilaryreyl.com

  PRAISE FOR KIDS LIKE US

  ‘A heartfelt celebration of young life with all its strange and endearing awkwardness, obsessions and first eruptions of love.’

  MARTINE MURRAY

  ‘A true teen anthem, another Fault in our Stars.’

  MELISSA DE LA CRUZ

  NYT bestselling author of Witches of East End and Alex and Eliza

  ‘For a teenager on the spectrum, a simple human connection can be an epic challenge. In her wonderfully touching YA debut, Hilary Reyl tells the story of one boy’s effort to connect his imaginary world to the real one. There is love, humor and compassion on every page. You’ll be blown away by this boy and by this book.’

  HOLLY GOLDBERG SLOAN

  NYT bestselling author of Counting by 7s

  ‘The most original voice since The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time tells the most radiantly human love story since Eleanor and Park. Reyl’s extraordinary YA debut isn’t just a book you read; this is one of those rare books that reaches in deep and writes you back.’

  MARGARET STOHL

  co-author of #1 NYT and international bestseller Beautiful Creatures

  ‘Kids Like Us is a song in which, like life, both harmony and dissonance play their part. The writing is beautiful; the setting lush and evocative. I didn’t want to leave Martin’s world.’

  ALLY CONDIE

  #1 NYT bestselling author of Matched and Summerlost

  textpublishing.com.au

  The Text Publishing Company

  Swann House

  22 William Street

  Melbourne Victoria 3000

  Australia

  Copyright © 2017 Hilary Reyl

  The moral right of Hilary Reyl to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright above, no part of this publication shall be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.

  Kids Like Us was first published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux Books for Young Readers, an imprint of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC, in 2017. This edition published by The Text Publishing Company in 2017.

  Book design by Elizabeth H. Clark

  Cover illustrations by Jeannie Phan

  National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry Creator: Reyl, Hilary, author.

  Title: Kids like us / by Hilary Reyl.

  ISBN: 9781925498912 (paperback)

  ISBN: 9781925626117 (ebook)

  Target Audience: For adolescents.

  Subjects: Autism—Juvenile fiction. Love in adolescence—Juvenile fiction.