by Lacey Silks
“Throw your head back,” he yelled, and of course I obliged.
The world spun and all the colors in the garden blended together. When I looked back up, a wide smile stretched his face. It was as if my laugh was fueling his joy. The sun glowed over his tanned body, making me feel like someone had sent him from another planet just for me. And for that brief moment, I wished I could stay here. I wished I could forget about leaving Ogden. Each hour I stayed here added an extra reason to remain in my home town. And most of all, I wished I could feel as safe as I had been here since the moment I arrived.
“Now jump.”
“It’s too high!”
His arms were stretched out toward me.
“I’ll catch you. Jump! On three. One, two, three.”
I pushed off the swing and flew right into Derek’s arms, my momentum carrying us both to the ground. We tumbled twice, and somehow I ended up on the ground, securely pinned underneath Derek’s body.
“Are you okay?” he asked, smoothing my hair back. I held on to him with my arms, my fingers aching to feel the smooth texture of his skin. The smell of sweat and sunshine hovered around us.
“Yes, I think so.” My heart was still pounding, but I had a feeling it was for a different reason now. I hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.
Sounds faded around me as I concentrated on the man lying on top of me. Every beat of his heart and whisper of his breath was becoming more profound and intoxicating with each passing second. As Derek hovered above me, I concentrated on his eyes and the peace beaming from within.
How do you get to a place where you can be so calm and full of life? I used to have that a long time ago, and couldn’t quite recall how I lost it. But Derek’s hazel eyes were filled with hope and longing. I felt them radiating so much emotion toward me, it was difficult to comprehend. And then there was his bulky body on top of mine. Derek’s muscles and curves were embedded into my skin, specifically that one enticing curve I never thought I’d want to see on a man. But Derek was different. He brought out the woman within me I thought didn’t exist.
I couldn’t breathe. I’d never thought that another man’s mouth within inches of mine would make my head spin and flourish with irrational thoughts. That light-headed feeling, as if I’d had a few glasses of wine, spun my mind, making it more difficult to think. All I could concentrate on were Derek’s luscious lips and those beautiful eyes that held a hint of gold when the sun shined on them. Our noses nearly touched. It’d be so easy to give in. But I didn’t like giving in. Not to anyone.
“Derek, please.”
“I’m aching to kiss you right now. I’m trying to stop it and to control it, but I can’t. You’re so innocent. I wish I could take all that pain you’re carrying with you away. I wish I could make you forget all your troubles, even if it’d be just for a single moment. Am I being stupid?”
I shook my head.
“May I kiss you, then?” he asked.
I must have nodded on reflex. No man had ever asked me for permission to kiss me. Everything inside me shouted to kiss him, but I couldn’t move. I shut my eyes, and then his lips gently touched mine, stealing one of the most innocent kisses of my life. My breath was locked in my lungs. The warmth of his skin and softness of his lips surprised me. His lips were more giving than demanding; the kiss was full of desire unlike any I’d ever crossed before. Yet I felt like a stiff surfing board underneath his body.
He finally pulled away and regarded me from above. “Annabelle, why are you so nervous?”
“I... I don’t know,” I whispered. “Men aren’t supposed to make women feel as wonderful as you’re making me feel. They’re meant to take what they want, when they want it. But you, you’re so different.”
“Which men are you talking about?”
I shrugged. “Just in general.”
“That’s not a general statement, Annabelle. Has someone hurt you to make you think this way? An ex-boyfriend or a classmate?” He smoothed his thumb over my eyebrow, then along my lower lip. Even his finger felt amazingly welcome.
“No, it’s not like that.” I lied.
“You’re lying.”
“Can we just drop this? Please?”
Derek thought for a moment, and finally gave in. “All right. But if someone tries to hurt you from now on, promise me you’ll tell me.”
I nodded.
“Good.” He pressed his lips once more to mine. It was as if my mouth had given him a shot of new energy. “Because all I want to do is kiss you. I want to kiss your lips, your cheeks, your neck. I want to kiss you everywhere. And I really thought you... no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so pushy. I’m not going to force you to kiss me back anymore because that’d be stupid. I want this to happen naturally.” Derek sat up and ran his fingers through his hair.
“It’s not you, Derek. And you haven’t forced me to do anything.”
“Then what is it? What are you afraid of? Why are you holding back? I know you’re attracted to me.”
“I am. I just haven’t been kissed like this.... You’re soft and kind. Not demanding. Not...” Derek narrowed his brows as I whispered the last word, “...forceful.”
“Fuck, Annabelle! What kind of a dick forced himself on you?”
I pulled my knees up to my chest. “I... I let it happen. It’s not his....”
“Annabelle, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted.” Derek reached for me just as the sound of a car pulling up to the front of the house drew my attention.
“It’s Eric!” I shot off the grass and ran around to the front, leaving Derek behind me. I couldn’t believe I almost told him about Rick. Whatever happened, I needed Derek to keep clear of him and for their paths to never cross.
As I reached the gravel, Eric jumped out of his truck, and I ran straight into his arms. He picked me up and spun me around. I knew I would cry when I saw my brother, but I didn’t know that I’d end up sobbing.
“I missed you so much, Anna. Oh God, I’m so glad you’re back.”
“I missed you too.” I didn’t dare break my brother’s heart and tell him that I wouldn’t be staying long in Ogden. “Have you heard from Mom again?”
“No. She was with the doctor’s this morning, but she’s expecting us in about an hour. Hey, Derek. Did you run out of shirts?”
“When you have fifty pigs to clean, yeah, you run out of shirts.”
“Thank you for taking care of the farm and my sister. Are you all right?” My brother took me by my shoulders, looking into my eyes. “You look stressed and you lost weight. Are you not eating in San Francisco?”
“I’m fine,” I said as I blinked my watery eyes. “It’s really good to see you.”
“And school’s good?”
“Yeah, I have to go back for one more exam in a month and then it’s all done.”
“So you’ll be coming back home?” he asked. “Mom will be so happy, Annabelle.”
“Where’s Emma?” I knew I was changing the subject, but if there was anyone who knew me, it would be Eric. My brother and I used to be much closer before I’d left home, and I couldn’t help but feel that connection return the moment I saw him. If I told him I was planning on coming back to Ogden, he’d know I was lying. And as much as I wanted to return, I couldn’t. Not until I settled my debts and was freed; and right now the time frame for that was close to never.
“She’s working. Are you ready to head out? Mom’s excited to see you.”
“Yes, of course. I just need to change. Eric?” I asked before disappearing into the house. “Is Huntz really dead?”
“Yeah, Anna. He’s dead.”
“Good. I’ll be quick.”
I rushed in to change, relieved that at least one bastard that had tormented me was dead. Now if only another one would get out of the way, I’d be the happiest girl in the world. As I headed back downstairs, Derek caught me in the doorway. He stood towering above me, blocking my way. “Annabelle, our conversation from earlier is not over. Don’
t shut me out. I want to help you.”
“I’m fine, Derek. What happened to me is in the past. All I want right now is to concentrate on my future.”
“Did you know that your forehead creases when you’re lying?” he asked.
“But, I—”
“I’m serious, Annabelle. We will finish this one way or another.”
“Are you guys ready?” Eric shouted from outside.
“Coming!” I yelled over Derek’s shoulder before squeezing past him through the doorway.
Derek had let it go for now, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before he began questioning me again.
CHAPTER 8
Annabelle
An hour later we were at the hospital and I prepared myself for the worst. Knowing my father was still in an induced coma, I didn’t expect much. But my mom had been talking and getting better each day. Eric had said the doctors were predicting that she could be released within a few weeks. Would I be able to find them a home by then? Where would she live? With Blake back and now apparently his girlfriend living there too, the Fields home was already full. While I knew that Derek would jump at the chance to help, I couldn’t just ask him to offer his home to my parents.
The pressure and stress of this accident was beginning to get to me. And then there was my exam and my inevitable trip back to San Francisco. It still boggled my mind that Rick had allowed me to leave for so long. He’d mentioned catching up with his family, which I’d never even met. Couldn’t I just stay here and pretend that part of the world didn’t exist? The more time I spent in Ogden, the more I began hoping I could put the past year behind me and forget I’d ever met Rick Menzos.
Expecting my mom’s bandaged face, I froze when I walked into the room. At her bedside was my best friend Blake and beside him Missy Thrope. My mom’s eyes were closed and I assumed she was sleeping.
“Blake?” I asked. “What are you doing here?”
He stood up and took me into his arms. “Hi, Anna.” He held me for a while, smoothing his hand over my back. “I missed you. I’m so happy you’re back.”
He was definitely not the same boy I’d left in Ogden four years ago. The contours of his face were sharper and his embrace much wider than I remembered. The pure strength of his hold was nearly bone-crushing yet still gentle. I could tell he was holding back. I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering those arms around me and how many times Blake had used them to make everything in my life all right. I leaned my head on his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent. Except this time it was manly; much more like Derek’s than the boy’s I remembered.
When I opened my eyes, I saw my brother hugging Missy as if they were best friends. What had I missed the past few years? When she saw me looking at them, Missy pulled away and backed into her chair. Her gaze darted between Eric and me. My brother stepped from one foot to another.
“Why are you here?” I asked Blake again.
He turned to my brother who in reply shook his head. Whatever had passed between them, it had to be big.
“I’m here because you’re family. A lot has changed since you left, Anna. This is my girlfriend, Missy.”
“I remember you from church.” I reached out to shake her cold hand. It was early summertime, we were in the middle of what everyone considered a heat wave, and Missy was dressed at least for late fall with layers of clothing.
“Me too,” she whispered standing up again and taking a hesitant step toward me. Missy pulled the hem of her sweater to cover herself, oddly cupping her hands around her belly.
Blake took her hand into one of his and mine into another, “Anna, Missy is....” He looked from my brother to his. “Does someone want to help me out here?”
Eric then came to my side, saying, “Anna, you better sit down for this.”
I felt my knees buckle and somehow found a chair, which Derek had pushed behind me. “What’s going on?”
Blake was still holding my hand as Eric crouched in front of me. “Missy’s our half sister. She’s the girl who opened the lock when Huntz kidnapped us. Mom and Huntz... they...”
Missy crouched so that she could be eye level with me. “John Huntz was my father. He told me that my mother was dead. I didn’t know he had a relationship with Joanne, my birth mother. I didn’t know I had a brother and a sister.” She looked lovingly to the bedside where my mother was sleeping before her beautiful eyes came to rest on mine. Now that I had a better look at them, they did remind me of Eric’s aqua ones. How had I missed so much?
“Annabelle,” my brother said, “no one could have known. Emma helped me put everything together.”
“Your girlfriend, Emma?”
He nodded before turning toward our mom’s bed as she stirred. Her arms were bandaged with the tips of her fingers peeking out from underneath. She opened her eyes, and the moment her gaze connected with mine, tears streaked down her cheeks. I pulled my chair closer to her bed.
“It’s true, Annabelle,” she said. “We thought Missy died at birth.”
I remembered the little grave we used to visit by the church. We’d always been told that it was the first baby my mom had lost. They’d named her Skyler because of her bright blue eyes, but my parents had never mentioned a different father.
“Hi, Mom. I’m so sorry... about everything.” I pulled in a sniffle.
“It’s all right, darling. At least one good thing came out of this tragedy. I have all my kids together now.” Tiredness floated on her voice. Her cheeks sagged and worry glistened in her eyes. I sat by her side and gently took her hand.
“Mom, don’t worry. We’ll take care of everything. The farm, the pigs. We’ll build you a new house. I just need to figure out where we’ll be when you get released, but we’ll manage.”
But my mother shook her head. “I had a lot of time to think about everything. I don’t want you to worry about a new house. We’ll clean up the old one in the back and we can live there. Sell the pigs if you can. Eric will help. I’ve already decided to split the land so that Blake and Missy can build a new home there as well. And since Eric already has a ranch, you’ll be the owner of the rest.”
Her breaths were shallow. It was as if every word she spoke took an effort.
“She’s on pain meds,” Eric whispered.
I turned back to look at her tired eyes. “Mom, don’t worry about anything. We’ll take care of it all. And if that’s your wish, that’s what will happen, but I still have an exam in San Francisco.”
“Annabelle, I know. I just want you to promise me you’ll come back home afterwards. It’s where you belong.”
I could feel Derek watching me. As much as I wanted to make that promise to my mother, I couldn’t. I was tied to the West Coast in too many ways, and it’d be a long time before I freed myself—that is, if I could at all. So promises like the one she was asking me to make were impossible to keep. My mother squeezed my hand. “Promise me, Annabelle. I want all my children together.”
“I... I promise.” I felt instant relief in my chest as soon as the words left my mouth. What if I could leave everything behind me and come back home? Start my life over, the right way, the way I was supposed to in the first place.
“Good. I’m tired.” She closed her eyes.
“Sleep, Mom. I’ll be back in a few days.” Eric kissed her forehead before guiding me away from the bed.
We left my mom to rest and went out to the hall to get an update on her progress from the doctor. It’d be at least another three weeks before she could return home, which meant I didn’t have much time to study for my final exam, sell the pigs, and clean up the old house so that my parents could move in there. An overwhelming sense of stress came over me, and I sat down on a spare chair by the wall, lowering my head into my hands, dragging my fingers through my hair. As Derek chatted with his brother, Missy and Eric sat beside me, one on each side.
“I know we haven’t had a chance to talk, but I’d really love to get to know you, Annabelle,” she said.
> I lifted my head. “Me too. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to seem cold. It’s just a lot to take in.” I looked to my brother. “I can’t let them live in that old house. It’s dirty, and I’m sure the floors would need to be replaced, but maybe we could ask the town for spare furniture.” How in the world would we afford all of this?
“You haven’t told her?” Missy asked my brother.
He shook his head before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me to his side. It felt so good to be in his arms.
“You’re not alone in this, Anna. All I want you to think about now is your exam, packing up in San Francisco, and getting your butt back to Ogden. Nothing else. Do you understand that?”
“But—”
“No buts. I’m taking care of the land paperwork for Blake and Missy, Derek will renovate the old house, and Blake just told me the pigs have already been sold. We just need to take care of them for the next few weeks until the new owner’s sty is ready.”
“How can you afford to do all this, Eric? I mean, I know your horses sell well, but that’s not enough to cover all the costs. They’ll need furniture and clothing and... well, I’m sure there’s a lot that the insurance money won’t cover.”
“Annabelle, like I said, all you need to worry about is your exam. And it’s not me who can afford it, it’s us. All three of us.” He took my hand and reached across my lap for Missy’s. “We’re going to be the family mom and dad always wanted. Sis, there’s enough crude underneath my ranch to last us ten lifetimes.”
“What?”
“Grandfather kept the information secret because Huntz’s family was after the land. But now that he’s dead, we don’t have to worry about him any longer. All profits will be split three ways. You’ll pay off your student loans as soon as you give me your bank account.”
