by Lacey Silks
“You can’t.” I shot off the seat as if a dozen nails had poked through it and began pacing back and forth.
“Annabelle, this is good news,” Missy said. “I know I’m new to this family, but I don’t need much.”
“Missy, you are family.” Eric stood up and walked toward me. “Annabelle, if I said something to offend you, I’m sorry—”
“No, Missy. I’m sorry. It’s really not you.” I whipped my body toward Eric, asking, “Is any of the money in my name? And your ranch, it’s just yours, right?”
“You haven’t been added to the property title yet. And no, I didn’t have your bank information to transfer any funds,” Eric answered. “Why?”
“Okay, please promise me you’ll keep it that way.”
“Only if you tell me what’s going on.” Eric’s brows furrowed. By this time, Derek and Blake’s attention had drawn toward us, and I realized I would have more questions to answer than I was ready for. I needed time away to think everything through.
“I need to use the washroom,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”
I almost ran across the hall, right past Derek and Blake, whose gazes I felt at my back until I turned the corner. How in the world would I get out of this without jeopardizing my family’s safety?
I didn’t want to be followed. Taking one flight of stairs down, I pushed the door open to the washroom one floor below. I needed to be alone. What would I say when Eric questioned why I was so nervous about having funds transferred to pay off my loans? If Rick found out I would be getting part of my parents’ farm, never mind the money from the crude, he’d never let me go. He’d keep me at his side until the last drop of oil was withdrawn from the soil. He could never know about Eric’s ranch, and the best way to keep him away from Ogden would be to keep him preoccupied in San Francisco. Which meant I had to leave, and it would need to be soon. There was no way I could stay in my hometown now. It seemed like my family was able to get rid of one bastard, John Huntz, and I managed to get myself another.
I turned on the faucet. A girl washed her hands beside me and left.
Alone in the washroom, I splashed cold water on my face and looked up into the mirror. My puffy cheeks and the dark circles under my eyes made me appear like someone else. It seemed like it’d been days, not hours, since I’d felt calm and secure at Derek’s house. At a time when I should have been happy that both my parents’ prognosis were positive and I’d just gained a sister and a way to pay off my—or I should say Rick’s—debts, all I could think about was the burden this good news had put on my shoulders. How would I keep him clear of my family when he relied on me to keep paying his debts? Maybe I could slowly begin paying him off—and once I had, he’d let me go? But even that would take a good few years. There had to be a way out.
I lowered my head again, let a long breath out, and when I looked back up, I jumped with a scream, which was muffled by Rick’s large hand.
“Shh, it’s just me, Anna.” He removed his hand from my mouth, sliding it along the sides of my neck, lightly squeezing over my throat and down to my shoulder. His stubble scraped against my cheek as his cigarette breath hit my nostrils.
I cringed and tried to weasel out of his hold, but his grip was tight, keeping me in my spot. The stink of his yellow fingers over my mouth brought back more memories: him holding me tightly over the couch, clasping my face as I tried to scream, telling me that no one else would ever want to touch me because I didn’t deserve it. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that he owned every piece of me and the only way to keep him happy and to avoid his fists was to comply. He taught me that a woman’s body is meant to only please a man, not the other way around. He made me believe that a man’s touch could never feel welcome. It was because of him that I’d lost trust in men and faith in life. Rick stole any innocence I used to have.
The woman living in San Francisco wasn’t the same one I used to be. She wasn’t the Annabelle everyone knew. In San Francisco, I had to pretend in front of my friends that I was happy. On the rare occasion he left to visit his family in Mexico, I got some much-needed freedom. Last month, though, he came back early just as I was finishing a quiet evening at a restaurant near the campus. Hell raged in his eyes when he saw me laughing. I ended up at his apartment just above the restaurant, tied to a chair for an entire night, gagging each time he pushed himself inside my mouth. I threw up and he didn’t even let me get cleaned up. So I sat there until morning, covered in semen and puke.
He said I deserved it. He said he could tell I enjoyed myself without him and he had to remind me where I belonged. I was so scared by the time he was done, he never again needed to threaten me. I’d succumbed on my own each time he was near.
If Rick ever got a whiff of a negative word said about him, he’d make me pay. I couldn’t as much as think badly about him, never mind speak of him that way because he’d take it out on me. There’d been too many times when I couldn’t open my bloodshot eyes, or couldn’t walk because my rib cage hurt too much when I breathed.
And now, as he stood behind me, looking like a grim reaper in the mirror, Rick was able to take all my willpower and strength away in seconds. From that one look I understood that I had to keep him as far away from my family as I could.
“What are you doing here?” I said through my teeth, shaking.
“I’m here for your parents.” He slowly rolled up his sleeves. The skull-and-knife tattoo on his forearm made me sick to my stomach. I recalled the day he got it to cover up his birthmark. While barely visible, the brown patch would always be there. That day, I stayed too long at the library to study and didn’t get home when he wanted to show it off. He waited by my door until I got home, forced me in, and didn’t let me leave for the next twenty-four hours. I had to rely on my friend for notes for the entire week after because I couldn’t show my face on campus.
“We agreed you’d stay in San Francisco.”
“You lied to me, Anna. And you know how much I hate liars.”
“I didn’t.” I lowered my voice, carefully watching his expression. Anything could put him over the edge at this point. And the last thing I’d wanted was for my family to find out what kind of a bastard I got involved with.
“Look, if someone sees you, they’ll start asking questions. And if they start asking questions, I won’t be able to go back to work.”
His hands slowly grazed back up to my neck, and this time they’d stayed there, squeezing. The memory of his fingers’ tightening pressure coursed through me. I could already feel my lungs constrict. I knew if I didn’t calm him, I’d begin choking soon.
“You said your parents were dying.”
“I said they were in critical condition, and my father’s still in a coma.”
“Are you taking over the farm?”
“No, they’ll renovate the old house and live there.”
“Hhm, I was sure with their injuries they’d put the farm in your name.”
“Look, I’ll go back to San Francisco, write my last exam, get a better job, and pay off your debts.”
His mouth came closer to my cheek, once again scraping against my skin. A cigarette stench lingered on his heavy breath. “Our debts, Anna. They’re yours just as much as they are mine.”
Except all the money that I earned and didn’t put away for the loan, Rick spent on booze.
“I’m not the one spending all the money. Look, maybe if you got a job we could pay it off quicker.”
“You fucking got a mouth on you since you returned.” He finally let go of my neck, and I was able to take a full breath in. Rick flipped me around so that I faced him. His forehead creased and lips stretched into a thin line. It wouldn’t take long before he started grinding his rotten teeth at me, like a dog. Rick splayed his hands on the counter on both sides of my hips, encasing me. “This town is not good for you, Anna. When are you coming back?”
“Soon,” I said. “I just need to clean the old house. I have to come back for
my exam on the twentieth.”
“I checked the motel. You’re not staying there.”
“I’m at a neighbor’s house.” I heard my voice lower to a mere whisper. There was no way I would tell the jealous bastard about Derek.
“Good. That’ll save a few bucks,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to get any stupid ideas, Anna. You know you belong with me. Maybe one day when your parents die, we’ll return to Ogden and sell that fucking farm of yours. That size land has got to be worth a few bucks. And I already found a job for you, Anna. The dress code is minimal, so you won’t have to buy a uniform or nothing.”
There was no way I would ever allow Rick to own a fistful of my parent’s farm. And I didn’t even want to think about the skank job he probably got me. Hell, he’d sell me ten times over if he could.
The fact that Rick thought of me as a cash cow was clear. None of my friends in San Francisco even knew about the trouble he was. He’d be as sweet to them as he was the day I met him. When he washed up and shaved, Rick was good-looking with a face you would do anything for. Except with time that facade washed off and the disturbed psychopath emerged.
Rick stood tall and burped right into my face before heading for the door.
“Are you leaving town?” I asked when he was a safe distance away.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about me, Anna. I have businesses of my own to take care. But I’ll be waiting for you.”
And he left. I collapsed to the floor, and pulling my knees up to my chest I leaned my back against the wall, sobbing. How did I get myself into this mess with him? Why did I have to be so stupid and naive, trying to help out someone I barely knew, only to end up digging my own grave? There was no way out of this misery, was there?
The door swung open. I lifted my head and quickly wiped away my tears. As soon as Missy saw me, she rushed toward me and knelt at my side.
“Oh my God, Annabelle. Are you all right?” she asked.
I nodded with a whimper.
“Who was that man that walked out of the bathroom?”
“What?”
“Annabelle, I saw him. He didn’t look kind. I’ve been hiding from a bad man for twenty-six years, and I can tell when one can be trouble. That guy was trouble.”
“Yeah, he was.”
“Who was he? Want to talk about it?”
“I don’t think I’m ready. But thank you.”
She put her arms around me and held me in her embrace. For the first time in my life, I was glad I had a sister. Maybe if we’d had years together, I could have told her exactly who Rick was. Perhaps we’d be close enough that I could tell her the truth. But not now. She had just gained a new family, and I didn’t want to burden her with my issues. But most of all, I didn’t want another person knowing how stupid I’d been to let someone like Rick into my life.
“Annabelle, I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’ve been without a family for too many years. And now that I found you, I’m not going to let go. I will do everything to protect you. In fact, I want our family to grow.”
“Thank you. Please don’t say anything to Eric. I don’t want him worried.”
“All right.”
That’s when I noticed that Missy was holding her hand over her tummy in a way I’d seen women at the doctor’s office when I did co-op for an obstetrician. “Missy? Are you pregnant?”
She gasped, and then smiled, nodding lightly. “We’ve only told Derek and his parents so far. I wanted to wait until Mom and Dad got better to tell you guys.”
“You and Blake? Wait, I’m going to be an aunt?”
“He’s wonderful, and yes, you are.”
I threw my hands around her neck. “Oh, Missy. I’m so happy for you.” Now I really couldn’t stop crying. A mix of happy and sad tears streamed down my face. At a time when I was blessed to have my parents alive, had gained a sister, and everything could be so wonderful in Ogden, Rick had to be there.
“We have so much catching up to do,” I said, realizing that I would be a nonexistent aunt who lived far away from her niece or nephew if Rick had his way. At that moment, I promised myself to try harder to pay off my loans. Maybe I could even lie to Rick that we won on a scratch ticket—whatever it took, I had to find a way to get away from him.
“We do. Come on, I think the boys are worried about you.” She pulled me off the floor. I wiped my tears and gave her my hand. We walked down the hall back to where Derek, Eric, and Blake waited. Before I turned the corner, I heard my brother’s voice.
“I thought you said everything was fine, Derek.”
“It was fine when I was there. But she seems different. Almost afraid to go back to San Francisco.”
“When were you in San Francisco?” I asked.
Derek stepped uncomfortably to the side, looking at my brother. “Uhm, three weeks ago,” he replied.
“It’s not his fault. I sent him, Annabelle. I was worried about you.” My brother stepped closer. “Why did you run off like that? What’s going on?”
“You should have told me,” I said to Derek before turning to my brother. “And if you want to know how I am, you can call or visit yourself.”
Of course that was a lie. I knew my brother had tried to call in the past, had left messages which I didn’t answer, and even made an attempt to come and visit. Thankfully, Rick had gone away to Mexico a few days earlier and I was able to spend some time with Eric and eased his worries. Each time he tried to check in on me, I managed to sway my brother’s attention away from my problems, promising I’d visit home soon. I never had.
Could I really blame Eric for wanting to check up on me? After all, I’d been lying to all of them since I returned to Ogden. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite, but the last thing I wanted was for Rick to be hanging around nearby. I wondered where he’d gone to and couldn’t stop myself from shivering. He’d always had a way of sneaking up on me when I didn’t expect it.
“What happened to your neck?” Derek reached toward me, concern tightening his face.
I smoothed my hand over the spot Rick’s fingers had squeezed a few moments ago. I hadn’t realized he’d left marks.
“I think I have a rash.” I wondered whether Derek had seen Rick when he came to San Francisco. Was that why he kept asking if I had a boyfriend? Every time I thought about Rick, I couldn’t help but feel that the bastard was looking at us from behind a corner or listening in on our conversation. “Is Mom asleep?” I asked.
“Yes. Let’s go see Dad and drive back home. She’ll be getting a skin graft on her arms in a few days, so we won’t be able to see her for a while to minimize the chances of infection.”
We visited my father afterwards. He was still unconscious. Derek held me from behind as I held Dad’s hand. I told him that we were all together and happy and that we couldn’t wait for him to be with us as well. The doctor has told us that it’d be at least another week before they could try to take him out of the coma. Thankfully, I didn’t run into Rick on our way back. But something told me that this was not the last time I would see him close to my hometown, and whatever business he had around here couldn’t be good.
CHAPTER 9
Annabelle
It’d been a week since I returned to Ogden and four days since we came back from the hospital. I kept my distance from Derek, saying that I needed time to study. When I tried to broach the subject of his visit to San Francisco, he kept apologizing but wouldn’t let me know exactly what he’d seen, and I was beginning to wonder whether he knew about Rick. Derek gave me the time I needed to study and stayed out of my way, and I was glad that he had. Concentrating on my last exam wasn’t exactly easy with him prancing around half-naked all the time.
As much as I didn’t want to think about another man, Derek had a way of relieving my tension. His mere presence eased my problems. I’d caught him looking at me more than once when I swayed on the hammock in the backyard. And when he chose to take a dip in the Jacuzzi, it took all my strength n
ot to join him. Thankfully, Derek had been busy taking care of my parents’ pigs, then going to do whatever construction work he had planned. Each evening I spent more time locked away in my room, pretending to study, because being so close to him, without touching him, was too difficult. How could two men be so different? How could one man make you wish for death and another one gave you so much hope?
Most days, I didn’t see him until he came home for dinner, or we ended up at the Fields’ house to join the entire family, including Missy and Blake, at suppertime. Missy had shown me the plans for their house, closer to Peacock Lake and not too far away from where my parents would be living at the old house. Eric contracted Derek to begin the renovations. They’d already started ordering the materials, and he’d be able to start the work within a week. Each time my brother tried to bring up the subject of why I didn’t want any land or money in my name, I was able to switch the conversation back to us having a little niece or nephew in the next six months. As hard as I prayed that I wouldn’t have to answer any of Eric’s questions, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold off forever. All I wanted was to go back to San Francisco to write my exam, somehow convince Rick to let me go, and return to Ogden to live happily ever after. Boy, was I ever dreaming.
And for the first time in days, this morning, I was at that nice point in a dream where you don’t want to wake up. It was a peaceful dream until the sound of vigorous knocking shook through me. It felt like someone was tapping with their knuckles right at my brain. I pushed through it, ignoring it, moving my limbs through the clear water I was swimming in.
The knock sounded louder.
Go away! I thought.
“Come on, pretty lady. The pigs aren’t gonna feed themselves.”
I looked up into the blue sky in my dream, where pink little piglets flew above me. I giggled at the sight.
