In Dreams Forgotten

by Tracie Peterson

  “Most mornings we will either make calls or receive visitors. We will also use that time to attend to shopping if we so desire. We might enjoy lunch out on the town and then return home to rest. In the afternoons, we will on occasion have company. I frown upon it, but it is often a necessity. I prefer a quiet afternoon with tea around four or five, depending on what else might be happening. You’ll adjust to our ways very quickly, I’m sure. After all, it’s in your blood.” Her grandmother smiled and made her way to the door. “I’ll leave you in Sarah’s capable hands.”

  Judith looked at the lady’s maid. “I . . . well, I’m glad to meet you, Sarah.”

  The older woman nodded. “Let me help you disrobe.”

  It was most uncomfortable to allow someone else to undress her, but Judith stood obediently. When Sarah finally brought her a loose wrapper to wear, Judith let out a sigh of relief.

  She hadn’t thought it possible that she could fall asleep, but before she knew it, Sarah was waking her up and telling her that it was time to dress for the evening.

  “I thought I was supposed to have tea with my grandmother,” Judith said, stretching her arms.

  “Mrs. Whitley said to let you rest. It’s time for you to dress for dinner. You’ll meet the others in the family’s private drawing room. Then at seven, you’ll go in to dinner. It’s all very regulated.”

  Judith nodded, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

  Sarah brought out a beautiful gown of lavender and held it up for Judith’s approval. “Would you care to wear this, Miss Judith?”

  It seemed so lavish, more suited to an evening out. “I suppose, if it’s suitable. I’ll trust you to help me not embarrass myself.”

  Sarah smiled. “I’m honored to do so.”

  After that, Judith once again found herself standing by while Sarah did the work of making her presentable. The maid was efficient, Judith had to admit. She styled Judith’s hair in an elaborate arrangement before helping her into the gown. She did up the long row of back buttons, then helped Judith into beautifully embroidered silver slippers.

  Judith felt like a princess in a castle. The one thing left was to find her way to the private drawing room. She hoped Sarah would handle that, as well.

  “I don’t suppose you can show me where I’m to go now?”

  Sarah nodded. “I’d be happy to.” She led Judith out of the suite. “You’ll notice across the way is the other wing. That’s where Mr. Whitley and his children’s rooms are situated. This open sitting area is for everyone, and often your cousins spend late evenings here after Mrs. Whitley and your uncle have retired.”

  They descended the stairs slowly, and Sarah pointed out the way.

  “The music room is where the family gathers before dinner. It’s situated just across the hall from the dining room. You can enter either through the salon or via the hallway off the foyer,” Sarah explained.

  She motioned across the room to the right, where the sound of voices could be heard beyond the open pocket doors.

  “She’s probably lost her way,” a young feminine voice said.

  “Nonsense. She’ll be here soon, so stop your whining,” Grandmother replied.

  Judith glanced at Sarah, who gave her a nod. After that, the maid quickly headed back the way they’d come. Squaring her shoulders, Judith lifted her chin and entered the lion’s den.

  “Ah, here she is now,” Uncle William declared.

  She was immediately struck by the formal attire of the others. She had worried that perhaps she was overdressed, but seeing the others made her relax. Bill threw her a big smile and nodded in approval.

  “Judith, how lovely you look,” Grandmother declared. “Come in and let me see you better.”

  Judith complied with her grandmother’s wishes, trying not to gawk at the furnishings, which included a beautiful grand piano in polished ebony.

  “I know you’ve met your Uncle William, but let me introduce you to your cousins. This is Victoria,” Grandmother said, motioning to the young woman.

  Judith turned to find Victoria’s expression one of distaste. She was dressed in an elaborate blue gown with silver lace. So much lace, in fact, that Judith thought it all but swallowed Victoria up.

  Although the girl looked less than happy to be there, Judith smiled. “I’m pleased to meet you.”

  Victoria gave a huff and marched to the piano, where she began to play a rather poor rendition of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

  “And this is your cousin Bill,” Grandmother continued.

  Judith was surprised when he stepped forward and took her hand. He was resplendent in his black tailcoat and pants, white vest, and bow tie. Lifting her hand to his lips, he said, “I am most delighted to acquaint myself with you, dear cousin.” As he rose, Bill gave her a lopsided smile. “I shall enjoy getting to know you better.”

  William stepped forward. “You look lovely, my dear. I must say, I find it hard to get used to you being the mirror image of your sister. It’s almost as if Cora were with us again.”

  “Cora was far prettier,” Victoria said from the piano.

  “Oh, Vicky, you should consider seeing a doctor for your eyes. They are identical, in case you didn’t realize it,” Bill said in Judith’s defense.

  Victoria pounded her hands down on the keys and stood. “Well, I would venture to say she can’t play as well as Cora.”

  Judith bit off a sarcastic retort, but her grandmother seemed unwilling to let Victoria’s challenge go unmet.

  “Why don’t you play for us, Judith?”

  Victoria abandoned the piano and plopped down on an ornate settee. “Yes, please do, by all means.”

  Feeling a sense of purpose, Judith strode to the piano and took her seat. She drew in a deep breath to calm her nerves. Caleb’s face came to mind. He always looked so pleased when she played, and so she played for him.

  The instrument was the finest Judith had ever touched. The notes were rich and full and filled the air with such melodious wonder that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She played the nocturne she and Caleb loved and devoted herself completely to giving her finest performance. When the final notes faded, she hesitated a moment, then stood to face her audience.

  Grandmother smiled smugly, as if she’d known all along what Judith was capable of. Uncle William looked rather stunned, while Bill was smiling at her with obvious approval. That only left Victoria. Judith glanced at the young woman, who rolled her eyes and stood.

  “I hate Chopin.”

  “If you could play it like Judith, you might reconsider,” Bill said, coming to Judith’s side. “That was the most beautiful music ever to come out of this piano.”

  Victoria gave another huff, which earned her grandmother’s consternation. “Do mind your manners, Victoria. I won’t have you acting the part of a hoyden.”

  “She doesn’t have to act it, Grandmother,” Bill shot back. “She is a hoyden.”

  “And you are making a fool of yourself by falling all over Judith’s feet,” Victoria countered.

  “Stop it this minute,” Grandmother commanded. “I won’t have you two embarrassing me. Poor Judith must think you completely without social graces, Victoria.”

  It bothered Judith to be the center of attention and have no say. She wanted to prove herself strong and capable, but for the moment it seemed perhaps kindness, even humility, would serve her better.

  She crossed the room to where Victoria stood. “I’ve always wanted to have cousins. I do hope we can be friends, Victoria.”

  The girl glared, narrowing her green eyes. “That will never happen. First, because I’m leaving shortly for Switzerland. Second, because even if you were the last person on earth, I wouldn’t be your friend.” She turned on her heel and headed for the door. “I’m going to my room. I don’t feel well. Send up a tray.”

  Judith wondered if her grandmother would order Victoria back, but she didn’t. Everyone, in fact, seemed more than content to let Victoria go. Judith considered comm
enting on it, but dinner was announced, and Uncle William went to assist Grandmother from her chair.

  “Bill, you will bring Judith in,” her grandmother instructed.

  “With pleasure.” He offered her his arm. “I’ll be your friend,” he whispered in a suggestive manner. “In fact, I’d like to be much, much more. Intimately more.”

  Judith couldn’t hide her surprise. “We’re cousins.”

  He chuckled and led her toward the door. “All of the royal heads of Europe are married to cousins,” he replied.

  His comment was still ringing in her ears when she settled into bed for the night. She could hardly believe his flirtatious nature. Even more surprising was that neither her uncle nor grandmother seemed to notice or care.

  “But he isn’t Caleb,” she whispered. She thought of Caleb’s smiling face, the way his eyes seemed to twinkle when he was truly amused. He had been gentle and tender when she’d been upset at the news of her parents. He was always so considerate and patient, helping her with her Bible studies if she had questions, listening to her concerns. How she longed to be near him right now.

  She hugged her arms to her body. Here she was in a house with the extended family she’d always longed for, yet never had she felt so alone.

  “Have I made a mistake in coming here, Lord?”

  CHAPTER

  16

  Caleb, you’ve been less than charming company this evening,” Florence Brighton said, coming to stand beside him as he gazed into the blazing hearth. “I wouldn’t have come had I known you’d be in such a mood.”

  “I presumed you came at the invitation of Mrs. Charles to view her latest painting,” Caleb replied. “That was the reason for this gathering, after all.”

  She considered him for a moment, then shook her head. “Something about you is different. Ever since you returned from your ordeal, you’ve been quite changed. I suppose it’s all of that religious nonsense you were spouting a few weeks ago.”

  Caleb thought about her comment. He knew he was different from the carefree man he’d been before being shanghaied. His experience had left him with a desire to see justice served and protect the less fortunate. Men like Ruef and Daniels had made this city a nightmare for many, and Caleb longed to see things made right. Then too, he was still trying to figure out what God wanted him to do with his life. Was he to preach full-time or continue in the law with Bible studies on the side? As Judge Winters had pointed out to him not long ago, he could serve God through his legal practice as well as from a pulpit.

  “It wasn’t nonsense, Florence, but the fact that you see it as such has changed my opinion of you,” he said.

  Her expression betrayed a momentary loss of confidence. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I’ve long loved God and sought to do His will, but as I told you, my experience facing death has given me a sense of urgency to know my true purpose. I’m determined to take spiritual matters more seriously.”

  “You were always serious when it came to spiritual matters. I’ve never met a man more tediously devoted to his faith who wasn’t wearing priest’s robes. Honestly, Caleb, you really should learn to be less serious.” She leaned closer. “I could help you.” Her expression suggested far more than a proper lady should imply.

  He shook his head. “When it comes to matters of faith, Florence, I could never do that. God is far more important to me than anything else.”

  She tilted her head and shrugged. “Have it your way, but it isn’t a way that will include me.” She left him in a swirl of diaphanous silver fabric and sparkling diamonds.

  He watched her make her way to a group of men he considered friends. She mentioned something, then glanced his way. Most of the people in the group laughed. No doubt he was the focus of their amusement, and this signaled to him an end to the evening.

  Caleb made his way to his hosts. He commended them for their good taste in art, then thanked them for the evening. They protested his early departure.

  “You’ve not even been here an hour,” his hostess said, glancing at her husband. “Surely we can entice you to stay.”

  “I’m sorry, but I must go. Please forgive me.” Caleb didn’t wait for their approval, but made his way outside, where a footman ordered his car. By the time he reached home, Caleb’s disposition had soured considerably, and his head ached.

  Mrs. Wong met him at the door, ready as always. She took his hat and outer coat and never questioned him as he headed down the hall in silence. Once in the privacy of his study, Caleb shed his coat and vest and undid his tie. He had intended to do some work, but instead he paced around the room like a restless animal.

  What’s wrong with me, Lord? Why am I so out of sorts? I feel like I’m missing something. I pray to know Your will for my life, but nothing seems right. I know You directed me to help with the Ruef matter, yet even that offers little satisfaction. Am I supposed to cast it all aside and take up a church? Am I supposed to give away all that I’ve inherited to the poor? I’m willing, Lord, I just don’t know what You’re trying to show me.

  He plopped into a chair in front of the fire. He was grateful for the warmth, as the night had grown chilly. He studied the flames and considered his future. God had always spoken to his heart through the Bible and even other people. Perhaps he just needed to listen better. Maybe his worry and frustration had stuffed up his ears.

  “I thought I heard you come in,” Camri said, coming into the room uninvited. “You’re home early, aren’t you?”

  “Are you keeping a record of my comings and goings?” He hadn’t meant to sound so disagreeable, but he offered no apology.

  She sat in the chair beside him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Talk about what?”

  “Whatever has you so upset. You’re not at all yourself. You haven’t been for days.”

  Caleb started to tell her to mind her own affairs, but when he turned to speak, he could see the genuine concern in her eyes. He let out a heavy sigh. “If I knew what was bothering me, I’d tell you. Honestly, I’m not sure it’s even just one thing. Nothing seems right. I feel like I’m displaced. I keep asking God what He’d have me do, and I feel that I’m doing it . . . yet something is missing.”

  She smiled. “Perhaps that something is in truth . . . someone.”

  He narrowed his eyes, trying to guess her meaning. “Someone?”

  “You’ve been fit to be tied since Judith left. I know you’re as worried as the rest of us about her well-being, but I have a feeling that it’s something more for you.”

  “Of course, I’m worried. I feel responsible. After all, I was the one who put her in touch with Mrs. Whitley. I know she didn’t want to go. I’m still not sure why she did. She could have spent the days with her grandmother and gotten to know her that way while still living here. She certainly didn’t need to put herself under that woman’s control.”

  “And that’s the only reason you’re worried?” Camri asked with a gentle smile.

  Caleb wrestled with his heart. He knew he’d come to care for Judith, but he’d tried to convince himself that it was nothing more than brotherly concern. “I’m not sure I take your meaning.”

  “I think you do. You have feelings for Judith.”

  He jumped up. “Of course I have feelings for her. I already said that. She may be miserable with the Whitleys. She’s never lived that lifestyle, and Mrs. Whitley has in mind to replace her dead family members with Judith. She’ll be under tremendous pressure to become someone she’s never been.” He began to pace in front of the fire. “Judith is a sweet girl. She’s also naïve. People like Mrs. Whitley will put demands on her that she won’t be able to refuse. She’ll be changed.”

  “And that troubles you?”

  He stopped and looked at Camri. “Yes. Yes, it does. She’s a gentle soul with a heart of gold. She’s just learning to put her trust in God. I doubt Mrs. Whitley overly concerns herself with such matters. She probably puts her trust in he
r bank balance.”

  Camri got to her feet. “Caleb Coulter, I’ve never known you to be so judgmental of a person you hardly know. I think this has very little to do with any of the reasons you’ve stated. I think the problem is that you’re in love with Judith and you won’t allow yourself to admit it.”

  He stared at her, openmouthed. He’d always known his sister to speak her mind, but her thoughts this time were like a slap in the face.

  She touched his cheek. “You are a good man, Caleb, and Judith is, as you say, a gentle soul with a heart of gold. She’s worthy of your pursuit, so why are you letting her slip away?”

  He started to deny his feelings, then shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never found myself in this situation before. I’m not sure I know what to do.”

  Camri stretched up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “I’m sure in time you’ll figure it out. Hopefully before you make yourself and the rest of us too miserable.”

  Judith sat across from her grandmother, enjoying a delicious luncheon of crabmeat salad, croissants, and an iced drink made with fruit the likes of which she’d never before sampled. The morning had been spent visiting several of society’s grand dames, and then Grandmother had insisted on taking Judith shopping.

  “I do hope you’ve enjoyed the day,” Grandmother said. The old woman looked tired but continued to orchestrate their every move with great attention to detail.

  “I have, but I hope you aren’t overdoing it.” Judith took a sip of her drink and smiled. “This is amazing. What’s in it again?”

  Grandmother chuckled. “Mango, pineapple, oranges, and strawberries. They crush them all together and blend them with sugar water infused with flowers. I think perhaps we should have Cook prepare them for us at home. What do you think?”

  “I think that would be marvelous. I love it. I’d never even tried pineapple or mango before coming to California.” She glanced around the busy restaurant and marveled at the scene. Just the week before, she had been working at a candy factory, watching the clock closely during her lunch so that Mr. Lake wouldn’t chastise her for being late back to work.