My Two Doms

by G. G. Royale

  Love?

  That’s not what it was, Haley told herself. Of course, both men possessed many things to love about them, but she didn’t really love them, did she?

  If not, then why the sting and the heavy feeling behind her breastbone?

  Chapter Two

  Haley awoke Friday morning to the sound of her cell phone ringing. She groaned. Neither Jason nor Gregory had called her since Tuesday or Wednesday, but she immediately worried that one at least had reignited the onslaught. She reached over, took her phone off the bedside table, and read the screen. Cyn’s number. She flipped the phone open.

  “Hey, Cynthia.” Haley had met Cyn through Gregory, and they’d grown to be friends.

  “We’re picking you up at four.”

  “What?”

  “To go to Mossy Oaks.”

  Haley shook her head, then said, “No, I couldn’t possibly.” She could keep herself nicely wrapped up in her work this weekend. No distractions. Besides, she’d never gone there without Gregory. She wouldn’t know what to do to fill the time.

  “It’s okay. I know what happened, and Todd told me Gregory’s out of town on business this weekend, so he won’t be coming. I just want you to come along to get out of the house. Maybe we can find some time for girl talk.” She paused. “I already called Hank Guidry, and he can’t wait to see you.”

  Haley loved Mr. Guidry; she didn’t want to disappoint the owner of the plantation, and Haley knew Cyn had some threesome experience. Maybe she could get advice on how to proceed with her own problem. “Oh, okay. That would be great, then.”

  “Good. Now don’t be late. You know how Todd is.”

  She knew exactly how Todd was, and the last thing she wanted to do was start the trip with him ticked off. “Okay.” Haley clicked the phone shut and dropped it on the bed. She sighed. She could definitely use a weekend away, but she didn’t know if she wanted to spend two hours in the car with Todd. She liked Cyn fine, but he had a habit of correcting everybody, and he’d always start in with “Ac…tually,” with a long pause and then rushing down the rest of the words as he got on a roll, rattling off statistics or facts. Got to pack the MP3 player. Haley sat up and climbed out of bed. She’d have plenty of work to do at the studio before she could leave town.

  She wrapped her robe around her body and headed toward the kitchen. Her new roommate, Gel, was standing at the stove frying an egg.

  “Morning,” she said.

  He turned and offered her a big smile and a wave of his spatula. “How’s my girl this morning?”

  Not yet ready to engage in conversation, she smiled and shuffled on toward the bathroom. How am I anyway? She didn’t know. She heard Gel humming as she turned on the shower. She was glad she had a place to offer him when his old landlord had raised the rent last week. He did lean toward being a melodramatic queen at times, but he was always there for her too.

  Haley stepped into the tub and let the cold water shock her into full wakefulness. Then she leaned over and turned on a little hot water. She appreciated the heat more after the jolt of cold.

  She looked down the length of her body. She certainly could tell that it had been nearly a week since she’d had a partner. Only last Saturday, she’d strutted proudly on the stage, showing off for everyone, proud of her owner at the show, and now…

  Well, now she wasn’t suitable to show off for anything.

  I need a nice shave. She’d been so busy all week working on the Madame Butterfly costumes that she hadn’t taken the time for a proper shower. She lathered soap up and down both legs and across her mound, then quickly and deftly drew her razor over most of the lower half of her body, rinsing the blade frequently.

  When she finished, she ran her hand over the renewed smoothness of her pussy. She didn’t really shave it for the men in her life. She did it for herself. She liked the way it felt when…

  She slipped a finger into her smooth folds, relishing in the slickness that came only right after a shave.

  She dived her finger in and out, then circled it around her clit. Haley balanced one foot on the edge of the claw-foot tub in order to give herself better access. With her left hand, she pulled and tweaked at her left nipple and tapped the piercing she had there.

  Then something occurred to her.

  Jason’s and Gregory’s faces swam into her vision. She imagined Jason beneath her as she faced up toward Gregory. She reached her left hand down, then around her ass, and fingered her puckered rear entry. She’d played with it plenty—as had others—but what would it feel like to have real live cocks in both holes?

  She insinuated one finger slowly as she worked the fingers of her right hand into her pussy. She thought about Jason’s slim, long cock taking her from behind, how he’d drive into her—issuing commands as he did, making sure her attention never wavered—how he’d play with her nipple piercings as Gregory—propped up on his strong, large arms—towered above both of them, thrusting into her cunt.

  Gregory may be bigger, but he’d treat her gently. He’d quietly correct her, guide her position with his large hands…

  Oh God, I want both of them!

  The combined sensations—and the terrible realization of her fantasy here in her mind—shot to her womb, causing her to come in no time.

  Feeling slightly less tense than she had all week, she rinsed off and grabbed a towel. But as she dried off, melancholy replaced her momentary satisfaction. She could never have both of them. They would never go for it. And could she ever find two men as perfect as Gregory and Jason? That she had such a base, instinctual connection with? Probably not.

  * * *

  By three forty-five, Haley sat on her stoop, waiting for Todd and Cyn. A small duffel bag rested at her feet. She hadn’t packed much, particularly in regard to play gear. Would they think her unsocial? Probably, but right now she needed some time on her own. It certainly didn’t help that Gel was around the house, and while she could spend more time at the studio, the other artists, designers, and visitors always poked their heads in the door. It seemed no location would meet her needs, and she had to choose the lesser of the evils.

  Across the street, an old man and woman walked arm in arm. Haley watched them and sighed. She wondered if she’d ever have that. She imagined herself—tattoos and piercings and all—in fifty years, on the arm of an equally old man. She just couldn’t see it. She couldn’t envision herself with one man.

  But who could she see herself with? Could she even look at fifty years and see anything? She ran through her list of friends in her mind, her exes, her platonic friends—both male and female. No one person could give her what she needed. She closed her eyes and tried to picture an older version of Jason and an older version of Gregory, one on each side, helping a graying and bent Haley down the street.

  Haley couldn’t figure out what she was meant to have. As it stood, nothing felt right. She needed something…more…than what she’d had in the past. Would she still find some solitary man out there who would fit her perfectly? She doubted it.

  A trickle of sweat slid down her spine, and Haley couldn’t tell if it was from the heat or the sudden worry that grasped her. She’d thought she had everything worked out this time last week. Two men who gave her what she needed, and she’d felt happy with them. She harrumphed. She’d betrayed them. If one of them had done the same thing to her… Haley wrinkled her nose at the thought.

  I definitely need some time to myself. Maybe she could convince the owner of Mossy Oaks to let her stay a few extra days. Yeah, like I can afford that.

  A dark green luxury sedan pulled up in front of Haley’s house, and Cyn climbed out of the passenger’s side. “Hello, Haley!” she said and tottered over on platform sandals to hug her as she stood. Haley stooped to collect her bag off the sidewalk.

  Todd leaned over from the driver’s seat and offered her a brief wave. “Glad you could come,” he said. “We’ve got one more person to pick up, and then we’re on our way.”

  H
aley offered him a brief smile. With all the things going on in her head right now, the last thing she wanted was a two-hour drive in a car full of people. But she sucked in her last breath of hot New Orleans air and climbed into the backseat.

  They drove to the other side of town and picked up Kelly—another sub friend Haley had met on a few occasions—then headed south, over the Mississippi River and into Jefferson Parish. Kelly and Todd seemed perfectly at ease talking back and forth over the front seats. He draped one arm across Cyn’s seat and kept turning his head to look back at Kelly while he drove.

  Haley felt compelled to snap her gum just to be obnoxious. Todd had launched into a long correction of something Kelly had said. He obviously didn’t watch Haley in the rearview mirror, because the look she gave him could have stripped paint, and he just kept prattling on. Kelly seemed oblivious to his pedantry, instead humbly accepting his criticisms. Haley wondered if they had something going on. Did Cyn know? Was it a threesome? Cyn had never mentioned anything like that to her, but maybe it had just started up. She thought about coming right out and asking, but she decided to hold her tongue instead.

  “We’re almost there,” Cyn piped up from her seat on the passenger side, interrupting Todd. He flashed her a look that promised some sort of punishment later. A grin spread across Cyn’s face; Haley knew she liked the pain.

  The idea of Todd’s what-was-sure-to-be pasty body on top of Cyn, with Kelly standing by playing with herself, entered Haley’s mind. She shuddered at the thought. Haley couldn’t remain in this car for much longer. She even considered throwing herself out and walking the rest of the way if she had to.

  Then Todd turned off the main highway and headed down an oak-lined lane. To either side stretched fields of sugarcane. Haley smiled. The owner of Mossy Oaks, Hank Guidry, always had sections of sugarcane in the fridge. She loved nothing better than coming in from a hot afternoon and biting into one of the sweet, cold stalks.

  Todd parked his car in the small lot to the side of the house. Haley looked around as she climbed out of the backseat. A few cars already sat parked. She retrieved her small bag from the trunk of the car and headed toward the front of the house. Kelly, Cyn, and Todd trailed after. If she didn’t see them again until the time came to leave on Sunday, she’d feel happy. She liked Cyn fine, but she wanted time to herself.

  Haley had to stop to admire the front of the house. She always did. She appreciated each gingerbread detail on the wide porch and balcony. Mr. Guidry took special care in painting the house and landscaping around it to make all the colors flow and stand out. She wished she had that kind of talent when it came to her own house back in Bywater. As she stood there, gazing, Hank Guidry came out onto the porch.

  “Haley, my love!” he said as he climbed down the stairs as quickly as his short legs would carry him. He threw up his arms as he approached and clutched her to him in an enthusiastic hug. Haley was by no means a tall girl, but her chin rested on the top of Mr. Guidry’s head. When he drew back from the embrace, she dutifully stooped to take his two customary kisses, one to each cheek.

  “Everyone else,” he said with a brief wave by way of greeting to the others. She didn’t know why Mr. Guidry always welcomed her with such abandon. It certainly wasn’t flirting with intent to get with her. The man had a good forty years on her, and everyone knew he had a live-in houseboy he shared more than just his morning coffee with. The houseboy, Zeke, enthusiastically participated in the parties but never slept with any of the guests, and Haley knew that wasn’t just because of some house policy.

  Mr. Guidry took her hand and led her up the front steps. On the porch, he paused to pour her a glass of water flavored with fresh mint and lemon. She took it gratefully and drank it down as he served the others his usual welcome drink.

  “It’s so nice to have everyone back again,” he said. Haley wanted to close her eyes and just listen to him talk. He had that perfect Southern accent—the cultivated, confirmed bachelor kind—that had started falling out of fashion. She loved to hear his stories about rebuilding Mossy Oaks, his trips to buy antiques in Europe, and the silly things that Zeke did to keep him entertained.

  Haley finished her glass of water and sighed. The idle chitchat of her traveling companions faded as she crossed the porch to look out toward the tree line. While sugarcane fields graced the approach to the house, behind it, and to the sides, beyond a large expanse of neatly trimmed lawn sat the wild bayou. From here, she fancied she could smell the things that made it up: rare flowers blooming in the darkness, fertile, wet earth, the clean, green smell of cypress. She did hear the calling of the birds and the wind coming off the bay, farther to the south, whispering through the trees. For a moment, Haley felt content. She forgot about her loneliness.

  Did she feel alone? Alone or lonely? The semantics of it made her grimace. She’d never come to Mossy Oaks on her own before. Did she miss Gregory? She couldn’t say right now.

  And looking out at the tree line, she had to think of Jason too. She knew he’d spent time in those wetlands for his work. She wondered if he ever watched the lawn where the pony girls and boys pranced, maybe even saw her without realizing it. If she’d had on a bit, bridle, and blinders, he wouldn’t have recognized her from as far away as the bayou. She remembered the day he’d told her about what he’d seen while collecting samples there. She could still hear the disdain in his voice when he talked about the silly costumes and the exhibitionistic aspect of the play. He liked things more private, straightforward.

  How could she want to be with someone like that? Who showed such disdain for something she enjoyed? She loved being watched, and he was not one to show her—or himself—off.

  Did she need this to feel full sexually? Did pony play mean that much to her? Probably not; Haley figured she could get by without it. She found satisfaction in plenty of other things, but Gregory had made her love this play. And she did love exhibitionism, regardless of whether it meant costumes or public displays or performance art. Jason, on the other hand, had a youthful fervor and intensity that caused her to melt. Things went round and round in her head, wanting Jason for some things, Gregory for others…

  She felt a hand on her shoulder, and her thoughts returned full force to the present. She turned to look down at Mr. Guidry.

  “Where were you just now, sweetheart?” he asked.

  Haley sighed before responding. “Right here, baby.” She offered him a smile, one she knew he’d have trouble buying.

  Mr. Guidry pursed his lips and shook his head slightly. Certainly he didn’t buy it. “Where’s Gregory?” he asked.

  She didn’t have to lie about this, not entirely at least. “Out of town.” She wondered for a moment if he too had already heard what had happened.

  Mr. Guidry raised an eyebrow, and Haley knew he thought there was something more she wasn’t saying, but she could tell he didn’t know the details. “I like the idea of you and Gregory. Come on; I got a special room for you, my love. Zeke spent some extra time setting it up when he heard you were coming down.”

  Haley set her glass on the porch railing and offered her empty hand to Mr. Guidry. He took it and led her off the porch, into the house, and up the stairs to a room toward the back. He opened the door and showed her in. Camellias and gardenias filled the room. She took a deep breath of their fragrance and smiled. She didn’t understand why she deserved the special treatment, but today she decided not to question it.

  She turned, bent slightly, and offered Mr. Guidry a quick hug. “Tell Zeke thanks for me.” He smiled and left, closing the door softly behind him.

  Haley didn’t bother unpacking. Instead, she threw her duffel on the antique chair by the door and then went to look out the back window. She had a view of the pool, the lawns, and then the bayou. She thought again about Jason. What was he doing right now? Probably out sexing crawfish or scraping apple snails off floodgates. She sat down on the bed. She didn’t even know enough about him to fill in his days with anything beside
s his job and their BDSM relationship. Did he have other friends? Did he have a family? Barbecues? She didn’t even know where he lived.

  And she could say the same about Gregory. They’d met at a play party. She knew he worked for some oil company but other than that…

  Haley realized she had not only been exceedingly selfish in regard to the men’s feelings, but she’d also monopolized their time and attention. She’d never shown an interest in Gregory or Jason beyond their play, which just went to prove she didn’t deserve to be with either of them.

  Chapter Three

  Haley looked at herself in the en suite bathroom’s mirror. While she’d decided to try to spend as much time on her own while she was here—she needed to get her bearings and find a new focus—she couldn’t be completely unsocial. She’d go down to the evening mixer, mingle, eat a little, say her hellos. It would be okay. Harmless, even. She had grown accustomed to handing out gracious refusals, and this crowd was definitely good about accepting them.

  She applied a last layer of lip gloss and tried smiling at herself. She hadn’t gone too overboard with her outfit, makeup, or hair. Simple western shirt, denim skirt, boots. Subtle makeup.

  She nodded and turned to leave. Things would work out fine, wouldn’t they?

  She headed out of her room and made for the top of the stairs.

  She stopped.

  Someone descended ahead of her.

  Someone she recognized.

  Gregory!

  Haley swallowed. She tried swallowing again, but it seemed her throat was shut. She made an unattractive choking sound, and before she could beat a quick retreat back to her room, the figure turned.

  “Haley?”

  She still couldn’t move. His gaze locked on her like a tractor beam in a science fiction movie. Even her eyes refused to close, refused to obey her command to shut all this out.