Sugar, Spice, and Shifters: A Touch of Holiday Magic

by Élianne Adams

  Phoenix snorted. “Yeah? You ever think how I feel? I got one day. One single day with Sorrel before Ali saw him. So, yeah. I get it, man. But we have to look on the bright side.”

  “And what’s the fucking bright side?”

  “Blaze said their intense need for connection will only last a few months. We’ve gone through two and a half; it can’t be much longer. Once they settle into their friendship roles, they’ll be able to be separated for longer periods of time and for greater distances. We can go back to being a normal family again.”

  I swallowed hard, the idea of family a tough one for me to think about in terms of his mate. There was no way Zuri could ever see me as family, not after Amber. “Yeah, I guess that’s a good thing.”

  “We’ll get through this. In time, we’ll be back to normal.” His eyes met mine, all fierce and strong. As if he wanted to say more, as if he was telling me something without words.

  “Sure. Yeah, of course.” I turned away, unable to shake the feeling that everything wrong between us, between Calla and me, and between him and Zuri was my fault. Everything was my fault.

  Sighing, Phoenix leaned over to place a kiss atop Sorrel’s head, then moved to do the same for Aliyana.

  “Go to sleep,” he whispered, his voice holding more emotion than I could ever remember hearing from him. “Go to sleep before the faeries come.”

  And just like that, I was back in the townhouse almost a year before with a very manipulative witch in my lap. Amber had used her psychic powers against me, but for good reason. She’d done it to push me toward Calla, to care for the child already growing in my mate’s stomach, and to join my future family with hers. She’d done bad things for good reasons, had stolen private memories to figure out how to get me to do what she wanted, knowing all would work out for the best in the end. She’d molested me on a couch, one I’d trashed once I’d learned of her deceit. But that act had driven me out of my own door and straight to my mate. My second mate, as Amber had apparently been my first. A fact I couldn’t let go of, nor could I talk about. Speaking the words meant admitting they were true, and that wasn’t something I was ready to do. I hated Amber for what she’d done, and yet, I was so thankful as well. A confusing, guilt-ridden place to be.

  “Bastian,” Calla whispered from the door. I turned and met her worried eyes, knowing she’d shown up because of my turbulent emotions. I could feel her concern, her fear for me, through the bond we shared. She had to have felt the guilt and anger swelling within me as well.

  “Goodnight, Phoenix,” I whispered, heading for the comfort of my mate. Needing to feel her touch, her breath. Needing her to ground me physically and make me forget the mental strain once more. To get me over the grief, the loss, and the anger so we could attempt to save our fractured bond.

  When Calla and I finally made it to the guest room, we stripped quickly and fell onto the bed.

  “Thank God they’re quiet,” she whispered, cuddling her naked body into mine. I pulled her in tight, relief and comfort flooding me in a way nothing but her skin on mine could do. My mind settled, and my heart beat only for her again. Guilt buried for the moment beneath the calm she gave me.

  “Yeah.” I ran a hand up and over her hip, pulling her closer, needing to feel her against me, on me. Craving to feel her surround me. Desperate for connection.

  “You did well tonight.” She placed a soft, wet kiss against my chest.

  I groaned as her hand traced down my stomach to find me hard and wanting. I was a right bastard for where my thoughts went during the days, how my brain warred with itself over mates and connections and loss. But in the quiet of the night—in the moments like this where it was just Calla, me, and the deep silence around us—there was nothing but her. Every ounce of my focus centered on my mate, on making her happy, on keeping her next to me. I would die for her, a statement I knew few would truly live up to. A truth few had proven capable of following through on.

  Fuck. I yanked Calla closer, refusing to let my mind wander away from the skin under my hand or the heat of her body on mine.

  “It was the right thing to do, coming here.” She wrapped her fingers around me, gently stroking once, twice. Thumbing the piercing through my frenum, the bow tie, as she called it. Bringing me back to her, only her. Always her. “Just for a few months, then they’ll balance out to a friendship.”

  I thrust into her hand, no longer really following the conversation, too focused on how she made me feel. “They’d better.”

  “Bastian?” Calla stopped stroking but didn’t let go, the warmth of her hand against me making me start to shake.

  “Yeah?”

  “You really are the best daddy in the world.”

  I rolled her underneath me, loving the softness of her body beneath mine, needing to be inside her in the worst way. “It’s so much, Calla.”

  She gripped my face, centering me. “I know, my love. I know. You can’t handle it all.”

  I shook my head, closing my eyes. “How do you deal with it? How do I—”

  “Stay with me, Bastian.” She wrapped her legs around my hips, pulling me to her. “I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. Even with the danger and the secrets, the weirdness and the fear I have around some of the others of your kind. Even with the issues we’ve been facing lately. My love for you trumps all that; it always will.”

  With a sigh, I slid inside my mate, growling at the warmth, at the way she squeezed me, at how much she felt like home. Pressing deep, I bumped her chin with mine before bringing our lips together. One kiss, two kisses…tongues dancing as I slid in and out. As I made love to the woman I loved without reason.

  “I love you, Calla. I know we can fix us.”

  “I know, too.” She smiled, hitching her legs higher, pulling me deeper. “I really do know that, Bastian. We just need more time. You need more time.”

  TWO

  Christmas Eve dawned bright and warm. I kept my arms around Calla as the sunlight crept across the floor, taking advantage of the quiet while we could. Basking in the few minutes of the day when the guilt of my past wasn’t threatening to strangle me.

  Peaceful and content, I ran my hand along Calla’s hip and placed a kiss on her temple. She gripped my forearms and sighed as she looked out the window.

  “What’s wrong?” I kissed her shoulder and pulled her tighter against my chest. Relishing in her warmth.

  “Nothing, really. I was just hoping Ali’s first Christmas would be snowy.”

  “Could happen.” I dragged one hand along her body to her breast, flicking her nipple before giving it a solid squeeze.

  She arched into my touch, responding as I knew she would. “Yeah, maybe.”

  Growling, I rolled her partially underneath me, covering her back with my body, one hand holding her hip while the other tormented her nipple. I loved sleepy mornings with her, the way we would ease into slow, languid sex. How she would sigh and stretch into my touch. How warm she’d be after a night in my arms. Simple perfection.

  “Should we get up?” she asked, her voice rough.

  I pressed my morning wood into her ass. “I’m already up.”

  We were laughing together, my hands becoming bolder, when Ali let out a scream that turned my blood to ice. I was out of bed and racing down the hallway before she stopped, my growl loud and fierce. Every possible scenario flew through my head. Human attacker, shifter attacker, someone after Sorrel, someone after Zuri.

  Ali’s biological father back from the dead, coming to take Aliyana from us.

  I slammed into Sorrel’s nursery, half-shifted to my wolf, full on roaring my rage. Zuri screamed and stumbled away from the crib. Blankets flew into the air and a dust cloud formed where I’d slammed the door through the plaster wall, giving the entire room a strange smokiness. Phoenix burst in almost immediately after me, knocking me down with a vicious snarl, our claws digging into the wood floor as we fought to untangle ourselves.

  “Stop!” Calla’s
yell froze us all, her firm gaze locking on mine, her hands clutching the bathrobe she must have thrown on before leaving the room. “What are you doing?”

  I glanced at Phoenix, who looked about ready to take a chunk out of my hide. Or try to, at least. Wait, why was he glaring at me? I looked around the room, seeing a perfectly fine Ali standing in the crib and the chubby face of Sorrel through the slats by her feet. What the fuck was going on?

  “She screamed,” I said, nodding toward the crib.

  “She was playing with Sorrel and me,” Zuri said, her eyes wide. “I was taking the blanket from them and giving it back, and she yelled. It was a happy scream.”

  “Oh.” I rolled over, untangling myself from Phoenix and lying on my back. My heart pounded in my chest and my head hurt from the partial shifting, but the fear that had raced through me began to ebb. Jesus, fuck. These kids were going to be the death of me. “Sorry, man. I’ll fix the wall.”

  “Totally understandable, but, yeah, you will. Plaster’s a bitch to patch,” Phoenix said, sighing and rubbing his hand over his face. “I get the protective thing, and I appreciate it. But do you think you can go put some clothes on?”

  I glanced down, only then realizing just how naked I was. Covering myself, grateful for the first time in my existence that fear had fully deflated my cock, I shrugged at Zuri. Meeting her wide eyes for the first time in months.

  “Um, sorry?”

  She nodded, still pale, looking like I’d scared about eight years from her life. “No…uh, problem.”

  I sat up as the women left the room with the babies in their arms, still doing my best to hide my junk. Phoenix chuckled from his place on the floor, wearing pajama bottoms but no shirt. His dick not on display.

  “Jackass,” I grumbled, making him laugh harder.

  “Yeah, but at least my jack-ass is covered.” He stood, still laughing, backing out of the room. “After you fix that wall, how about you wipe your ass print off the floor.”

  I sighed, knowing the peaceful morning was over. That the guilt and the anger would start soon and sweep me out to the rough seas of my reality. “Yeah. Absolutely.”

  THREE

  I came in from putting away the plaster repair supplies in the garage a little after noon, hoping to find something to warm me up. Whether that was food or time alone with my mate while Ali napped didn’t matter at that point. I’d been patching the wall for a couple of hours, hiding away in the nursery for reasons I couldn’t explain. The guilt was there, but less present than normal. And the anger, oh, the anger burned, but not as hot as the day before. Something had shifted inside of me, but I couldn’t identify what it was. A fact that left me even more unsettled than normal. But I was tired, cranky, and sick of being alone. I wanted my family.

  The noise coming from the kitchen was warm and inviting, a happy sort of chatter that pulled at me. Made me desperate to join in. I slipped into the back hall and peeked around the corner, wanting to see what was going on without interrupting it. Not wanting the sounds to end. Ali sat in a high chair, her chubby little hands filled with some kind of cereal snack. Baby Sorrel was in his bouncy seat, bopping back and forth as his eyes tracked his mother across the room

  And Calla, the gorgeous, sexy love of my life, stood at the counter with a smile on her face. Chatting with Zuri about something I paid no attention to. Her words didn’t matter. All that did, the thing that eclipsed the picture, was her smile. So bright and true. It practically brought me to my knees.

  “Nice scene, huh?”

  I didn’t turn to face Phoenix, even though I could feel him at my side.

  “It’s…sort of perfect.”

  He hummed his approval as we stared into the kitchen, our mates and children either unaware of our presence or ignoring us.

  “You know,” he started, leaning against the doorframe. “There’s a nice house down the street for sale. Lots of privacy, access to the water. And a big garage out back.”

  I nodded, hesitating. Memories of that fucking couch I’d thrown out the door slamming through me, nearly knocking me back a step with their intensity. “Calla’s not ready to give up the townhouse yet.”

  “Is that about the townhouse or you?”

  Oof. The truth of his question touched at the reality of the issues between my mate and me. And as much as I wanted to lash out, to deny Calla and I had any problems between us, I knew Phoenix was a good person to trust. He knew me, had always had my back. Today was no different. So I shrugged and answered as honestly as I could. “Both, maybe?”

  “Amber wouldn’t want to come between you and your mate.”

  I spun, his words hitting a painful place inside I wasn’t ready to uncover. “I never said anything was about her.”

  “You didn’t need to. I know you, man. I saw how torn up you were at Merriweather when she died defending you. But I also know how bad she fucked with your head before you met Calla, and how much what Aoife told you about your bond to her has to be screwing with you. That mix of grief and anger can’t be easy to deal with.”

  I growled, stalking toward the back door. Leaving Calla and Ali in the happy, warm little kitchen so as not to pull them under the storm cloud tracking my ass. “She’s dead now, and that fact is my fault. She died in my place.”

  Throwing the door open, I headed for the garage. Needing to do something. To fix something. Because the gods knew I couldn’t fix Amber. Not anymore.

  “Stop thinking you don’t get to be mad at her.”

  I froze. My hands clenched into fists and my blood pounded through my veins. Oh, this motherfucker…

  “You don’t fucking know, kid.”

  He moved closer, nearly directly behind me. “Yeah, I do. I know a lot more than you think.”

  I turned, shoving him. “She died in my place. For me, so our families could grow.”

  “Yeah, she did.” He stared me down hard, refusing to back away. “Because she was your intended mate.”

  I turned away to keep from knocking him flat on his ass, resigned, torn up inside in a way I hadn’t felt in decades. Weighted down by a guilt and anger I couldn’t see a way through.

  “Calla’s my mate, son. I’ll go toe-to-toe with anyone who tries to tell me different, so next time, keep your fucking mouth closed.”

  FOUR

  “Ho, ho, ho-ing it your way.”

  I glanced up from where I’d been tinkering at Phoenix’s workbench, something Calla would have called avoiding. But there was always that one person who wouldn’t take the hint and leave you alone. Scarlett strolled into the garage, decked out in a short green dress and striped stockings with black boots over her knees. She even had some kind of funky little Santa hat on her head.

  “Who are you supposed to be? Santa’s favorite elf?”

  “Hell no,” she said with a smile. “I’m the keeper of the naughty list.”

  “Of course you are.” I chuckled, moving over so she could plop down beside me.

  “So, I hear you’re still having problems with Amber’s death,” she said, completely bypassing any sort of social niceties. Her words were like a punch to the gut, causing me to nearly hunch over in shock. Probably her desired effect. Typical Scarlett.

  “Way to ease in to that particular conversation, Zippo.”

  I tossed my rag down, apparently done with work. She hummed, turning on the seat and pulling one leg underneath her so she could face me.

  “I’m not here to be easy.” She paused, her eyes practically sparkling with that attitude of hers. “Well, not for anyone other than Shadow.”

  “Haven’t you worn that tiger out yet?”

  Her face went flat, deadpan in the most mocking way. “The status of my pussy is really none of your business.”

  “Neither are my issues with your dead sister.”

  She sucked in a breath, her shoulders curling a bit. “Talk about not taking it easy.”

  “I’m sorry.” I sighed, shaking my head. Fuck, why did everything have to
be so hard?

  Scarlett sat up straight again, almost glaring at me. “No, you’re not. You’re pissed and scared and grieving. There’s a difference.”

  “What do you know?”

  “Oooh, I love this question.” She clapped and gave me a look that made fear hover over me, that made the sense of magic in the air come on strong and fast. “I know Amber was born to be your mate, but that bond was broken before she took her first breath. I know that she manipulated all of us to protect our family, something both selfish and selfless, when you think about it. I know you feel responsible for her death, but that the guilt from us losing her isn’t the worst of it. The biggest guilt comes from the grief you feel over losing someone who was sort of your mate but not really.”

  I growled and jumped to my feet. “Calla’s my mate. My one and only.”

  “No,” she said, blunt and powerful, sparks lighting at her fingertips. “The Fates gave you Amber first, but they changed their minds and set you on a different path somewhere along the way.”

  “Scar—”

  “You are allowed to grieve her death, Beast.”

  I stopped, frozen in place, the weight of guilt almost crushing me. I hated thinking of Amber as my…mate. Hated it with a passion I couldn’t express. I wanted Calla to be my mate, my only one. Wanted to respect that bond with the fierceness of my very soul.

  But I couldn’t.

  “It feels wrong.”

  Scarlett stepped closer slowly, cautiously. “Wrong, how?”

  “Like…like I’m cheating on Calla.” My whispered admission tasted foul on my lips, the words bitter and vile. I hated them, hated that I ever felt that way. Hated that just the thought could have hurt my mate.