“If you fuck up, she’s not going to be the one that leaves, you are. Then you’ll never have one good reference to get a paying ranch job again, because you’ll have blown your last chance. You’ll be an old man, getting your ass kicked for beer money in the ring. Remember that.” Trina held the door open for me and we glared at each other before going inside the shelter.
Delaney sat on the floor, surrounded by little dogs. She had a basket of tennis balls, and every canine eye in the room was glued to her. Including mine. She rolled the ball across the room, and the dogs tore off after it, the one who managed to retrieve it so proud to bring it back to her. Her face lit up, cheeks pinked, when she took the ball from the dog and tossed it away again.
It only took me a second to realize she had her back to the crates. Someday I’d tell her my brothers had been in those very same crates, because Trina had saved them from a dog fighting ring. That sometimes the cages could mean shelter and safety. But first she needed to trust me as a man before the moon turned full. She wasn’t ready for any werewolf shit.
I sat beside Delaney. “Looks like you have your hands full with a bunch of admirers.”
She spun to me, eyes wide at the sound of my voice, her lips turning up in a smile, then went back to her game. That wasn’t much of an answer, but light years away from last time. “My name’s Shea. I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself yesterday.” I looked over her head to wink at Trina, who probably hadn’t taken a breath since I sat down.
I loved fucking with Trina. She could totally handle it. She wasn’t afraid to hand us wolves our asses. If she could give it, she needed to take it. I was playing nice because I needed her, but she needed to know she didn’t have me by the balls.
Delaney turned to me again. I held out my hand, thinking she might shake it. Instead, she dropped the slobber-drenched tennis ball in it.
Oh, I liked her already. Besides, she was fucking adorable. Her curly blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, and dark rimmed glasses protected ice blue eyes. No, shove that way down, I told myself. This girl wasn’t ready to look at you yesterday.
I played a couple rounds of fetch with the dogs. They sniffed at me, able to sense I was one of them. But they kept going back to Delaney. I handed the ball back to her. “They want you.”
And they weren’t the only ones.
Shit, this was crazy. I never got attached to women. I knew how to have a good time, don’t get me wrong. My name was interwoven into the legends of Granger Falls forever. My brother Major threw Full Moon Fever parties basically so we could all get laid every month. I’d taken almost every girl in town to the VIP area we called Red Heaven, but I never took them anywhere else. Some of them called me an asshole, but no one had any misconceptions about where they stood.
Delaney was the only who ever made my head spin. And I liked it.
“Shea works at the barn,” Trina interjected. “You’ll be working with him, helping him with the horses and the livestock.”
Delaney looked over to me, and this time she really smiled.
“We’ll bring you over there, and I’ll hang out for today to make sure you get settled.” Trina stood and reached for her coat. “I’ll bring the notebook, too. If you guys have trouble communicating, you can write notes back and forth.”
I held my hand out to Delaney, and I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t take it. “I’m shit with words. Do you know sign language?”
Delaney nodded.
“Will you teach me?”
Her mouth opened slightly, and her eyebrows raised. I wondered if anyone had ever asked her that before. She nodded again.
I was shocked at how tiny she was when she stood. She only came up to my chest. “We’re going to make one hell of a team, Delaney.”
— — —
“What the fuck? Did she give you a spanking or something?” X laughed when I climbed into the truck. “Trina’s not that bad. She just likes things her way.”
“That’s for sure. And I like things my way.” I cracked the window, cool air hitting me in the face. “They’ve got a new girl. She’ll be working with me at the barn.”
X side-eyed me. “How’d you manage that?”
“Long story.” I needed to protect Delaney, and I wasn’t ready to share her story with X. Not until I heard it from her. “But it’s gonna be good.”
“Is she hot?”
I squirmed, thinking of that little smile. “Not exactly.”
“I don’t get it.”
If I explained what I meant, X would know I had it bad. I wasn’t in the mood for his shit. “I told you, it’s a long story.”
X grinned. “Dude, you’re into her. Major’s going to be pissed.”
“Unless Major wants to be my girlfriend, or let me borrow his, he’s gonna have to deal with it.” Major was going to be pissed. Wolves couldn’t mate with humans. Shadow and his brothers were morons to think they could. They’d create a mess that none of them would be able to handle.
And nothing could happen with Delaney. We were just working together. And she was teaching me sign language.
Then why the hell couldn’t I think of anything else?
“I got a call from Jacques. There’s a fight Friday night at The Redheaded Stepchild. Pretty big purse. Some guys in Vegas in town for skiing want to see a fight. Jacques told them he could get the best in Idaho.”
“How much money?” I told Trina I was going to fight, because it was a part of who I was. And I told Delaney I was shit with words. I needed to fight to get all the things I couldn’t say out of my head. Otherwise, they’d drive me crazy. In a twisted way, fighting brought me peace.
“Seven hundred bucks.” X pulled on to Shadow’s property. We’d been imprisoned here, when its former owner held the reins. It would always send a shiver down my spine to set foot on the land. “If you win. Don’t you want to know who you’re fighting?”
“Tell him I want a grand. And it doesn’t fucking matter. He wanted the best, he’ll pay for me.” I stepped out of the truck. Trina pulled in next to us, and Delaney peeked around her, waving at me, but then popped back. Cute. Shit. I shouldn’t be messing with this girl. I was a monster. “And I don’t plan on losing.”
FOUR
Delaney
‘Selective mutism’ made it sound like a choice. It wasn’t. It was more like a paralysis, an absence of the ability to form words. I hadn’t always been this way. The last thing I remember telling my mother was that I was hungry.
I’m missing a lot of things, before and after that. My brain knew what I could handle and what I couldn’t. What I do remember is static, hunger, pain, and constant fear.
Things made more sense when a nurse put glasses on me and I could see again. I was in a hospital bed, they said I’d been rescued. An endless parade of doctors and social workers attended to me. We figured I’d been in that cage for seven years. I stayed in the hospital for a long time. I needed to heal. My insides were a mess, and they gave me new teeth. Mine had been knocked out.
They all wanted me to tell them what happened. I couldn’t.
Fear strangled me, crushing my windpipe like the foot on my throat. If I told them, they could decide I’d deserved it. Bring me back there. Do something worse. So I said nothing, even when I learned to write and draw. Someone taught me sign language, but I never got to use it. No one else knew it. I was really excited that Shea asked me to teach him.
I had choices. The girls at Forever Home showed me that. Instead of talking at me like I was stupid, or ignoring me like I was a vegetable, they talked to me. Included me. I’d been in hospitals, group homes, and foster homes, and that hardly ever happened. After Kiera came back with coffee and cupcakes, everyone sat on the floor, showing me how to play fetch with the dogs. It wasn’t often people took time with me like that, being patient with simple things everyone else knew how to do. They spent the rest of the day telling me stories, including me even though I never spoke. For the first time, I felt lik
e I belonged somewhere.
When night came, their boyfriends showed up. All brothers; huge, handsome men. Men didn’t scare me more than women; most of my abuse had come at the hands of my mother and sisters. I wasn’t used to seeing guys like this, with long dark hair and sky blue eyes. Every so often, one of them would catch me staring, and smile before I had a chance to look away. Even they made me feel comfortable.
“Don’t try to coach her, Baron.” Kiera crawled over her boyfriend. “Delaney, you’re the tie breaker vote. Point to my left hand for cheeseburger pizza, or my right for pulled pork.” She hid her right hand behind her back, and shrieked with laughter when Baron tried to pull down her left.
“Oh! Denied.” Baron held his hand up for Kiera to high-five, but she shook her head and pushed him away playfully. I picked the pulled pork because I’d never had it before, and it was delicious.
I even tried my first sip of beer. I didn’t like it. Everyone insisted it was an acquired taste.
Seriously, where had these people been all my life? One day and I felt like a different person. I felt like I was a person. And I was afraid to think of all thing things I’d missed. I was twenty-two and this was the first day I did more than just exist.
“I’d take a poll, but I think it’s unanimous,” Trina said, and Kiera and Lyssie looked at her. “We all want you to stay. But we know you can’t work in this building. We just expanded; now we have a barn for bigger animals. I talked to Shea, and he’d love your help. Wanna give that a try?”
Shadow, her boyfriend, put his hand over hers. “You want her working with Shea? It’s December. It’s freezing out. She can help me in the office. The paperwork is a mess, now that Archer isn’t here anymore.”
An uneasy silence fell over the room when Archer was mentioned, but no one explained why.
“She’ll probably be the one to tame Shea, after all these years.” Dallas laughed before taking a sip of his beer. He sat beside Lyssie. I was pretty sure they were a couple.
I picked up the notebook. How did you meet each other?
Trina took it from me, then looked around the room as she read my question out loud. That weird silence was back, and I wondered if I’d ruined everything that had evolved over the afternoon. “The girls came here from CAST, as you know. And we met the Channings through work.”
Shadow nodded, and I didn’t dare ask any more questions.
“So what do you think about the barn?” Trina asked. She nudged Shadow. “You can help this guy, too.”
I wasn’t used to getting choices. I smiled and nodded.
“Good. We’ll go shopping tonight, make sure you have warm clothes, and we can show you around town. How does that sound?”
It sounded wonderful.
— — —
The staff of Forever Home didn’t judge me, but they had no problem judging Shea. I didn’t like it. I had no idea what he’d done to earn their disdain, but it stung. I knew all too well how it felt to be blamed for things that hadn’t gone wrong and to take the blame for other’s mistakes. All too well. I’d show him kindness because of that. Plus he’d been awfully nice to me.
And he was cute.
All the guys that were associated with Forever Home had the most incredible eyes. I’d never seen anything like it. The Channings all had blue eyes that reminded me of a clear sunny day, and Shea’s were like liquid gold. It was the first thing I noticed about him when he came up to me. They glowed from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat.
He hopped out of the truck, swinging his arms in front of him, looking around the property. He always wore a hoodie with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, even though it was freezing. His forearms were covered with tattoos, and I hadn’t been able to take a close enough look to see what they were. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Even in my sleep. Last night, I dreamt about someone who could’ve been Shea with vines winding around his arms. They bloomed in the sun, golden and orange, like teardrops fallen from his eyes. Butterflies and birds fluttered around, and the whole thing was so peaceful.
I wondered what it meant. Since I spent a lot of time lost in my own thoughts, I recorded them in a journal, then looked them up in a dream dictionary to see what my brain was trying to tell me. I had a feeling there was more to Shea than he let everyone see. It was the only book that came everywhere with me. CAST had given me a tablet, and I loved that thing. Reading was my only escape, and how I knew things should be better. I didn’t have time to look it up this morning. Work started early at Forever Home.
Last night had been so good, I forgot to be nervous about today. Until now. The ranch was huge, and eventually Trina would leave me alone to work with the man who had incredible golden eyes. So much left to chance.
“You don’t have to do this,” Trina said when she cut the engine. “But I think it would be really good if you did.”
I nodded.
“Don’t let Shea order you around. He’s not your boss. You’re quiet, but I know you’ve got a backbone.” Trina didn’t give me a chance to answer before she got out of the truck.
“Nice hat,” Shea said as I approached. Last night Trina bought me a pink knit hat with a giant pompom and a matching scarf. Pink was my favorite color and I hardly ever got anything in it. Trina suggested I stick with a black jacket, gloves, and boots, since it was a working farm and things could get messy.
I went up on my tiptoes and tapped the brim of Shea’s hat. I couldn’t believe how bold I was being. Two days ago I wouldn’t have gotten out of the truck without being dragged. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle.
Shea’s mouth opened in surprise. Maybe I’d done too much. I lived my whole life inside an eggshell, terrified it would crack.
“She does make noise,” he said. The surprise turned to a smile, and he poked my hip. “I like that sound. I’m going to make you do that a lot.”
“Okay, this isn’t Farmer’s Match. The cows are probably aching to be milked.” Trina ushered us toward the barn. Shea might’ve liked my laugh, but Trina didn’t. A familiar burning feeling claimed my stomach.
Shea laughed. “Please. Like anyone at Forever Home can talk. Is this the first time you’ve dated one of your guests, Trina?”
What the….
“I won’t dignify that with a response. You’re going to teach Delaney how to milk a cow and I’m going to refrain from throwing your ass off the property. Remember, I’m your reference.”
I reached for the little notebook in my pocket. I almost wrote a note to Trina, asking her to stop talking to Shea like that, but I didn’t dare. It could be me she was irritated with. And she was the one in charge of the cages. It only took one person to turn the rest against me.
The barn was bigger than most houses and much warmer than I expected. “How do you say ‘cow’ in sign language, Delaney?” Shea asked.
I folded down my middle three fingers and brought my thumb to my temple. I waved my hand twice.
“That’s cool.” Shea repeated the motion against the brim of his hat. “Now I’m going to show you a few more things you can do with your hands.”
A new sensation clenched my belly.
He brought me into a large stable. Hay crunched beneath our feet. “This is Bessie, and from the sound of these moos, she needs to be milked.” He placed a small stool next to the cow. “Have a seat.”
I shrank back against Trina and shook my head. That animal was huge.
“She can just watch today.” Trina put her arm around me, rubbing my arm. I tensed, but didn’t pull away.
“Bullshit. If she’s here to work with me, she’s going to work. I’m not going to baby her.” Shea approached us and held out his hand. “Come on. Bessie wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Trina spoke against my ear. I nodded, but I was lost in those golden eyes.
I took Shea’s hand.
He led me over to the stool, still holding my hand as I sat. He crouched down, one leg
on either side of me, the heat of his body seeping through my jacket. “Good thing you wore those gloves, because she likes it when your hands are warm. This is a pretty sweet barn, and it’s got towel warmers. The guy who owned it before Shadow was a mean old bastard, but he didn’t mess with his livestock. Take off your gloves, and press these against her udders. It helps get the milk flowing.”
Shea put the warm towel in my bare hand, and led me to Bessie’s udders. I wouldn’t have touched her on my own, but he was my bravery. It wasn’t bad at all; her udders were firm under the towel, and she let us work.
He handed me a dry towel. “Pat her dry. Be gentle.”
Shea got up to grab a bucket. I looked back to Trina, and she nodded in encouragement. The warmth was back, Shea’s big hand clasped over mine. “Ready to milk a cow?”
No. My heart thundered in my chest. Shea could probably hear it. I nodded.
“Awesome.” He rubbed something gummy in my hands, massaging it into my palms. I wasn’t surprised his hands were rough, but he was much gentler than I expected. His breath hitched, warm against my cheek. “Everything we do here is to make the animals feel safe. Like us, they’ve been through a lot of shit. That’s over now. I put Vaseline on your hands so you have some slip. We’re going to take diagonal udders, it’s easier that way. Close your thumb and your forefinger over the base of the teat like this.” Shea closed his hand over mine. “And once your palm feels full squeeze down. But don’t let go of the base, or the milk will go up, not down.”
A stream of milk hit the metal bucket. Followed by another. Holy crap, I was milking a cow. Shea was doing more of the work than I was, but I’d done like fourteen things that scared the shit out of me since getting out of Trina’s truck and only tried to hide once.
And nothing bad happened.
“Those are empty, so we’ll move to the others. You’re doing awesome, Delaney. You’ll be taking over this place in no time.”
Sugar, Spice, and Shifters: A Touch of Holiday Magic Page 36
