Weird question. Sometimes.
Shea’s eyes widened. “They write dirty books about us? Holy shit. I don’t read, but I’ll laugh my ass off if they screw up the wolf fucking.”
I was just about to write that they never had sex as wolves when I froze, realizing what he meant. I dropped the pen, looking between him and Shadow, waiting for the punchline to the joke.
It had to be coming. But it was taking too long and it wouldn’t be funny anymore.
Shadow pinched between his eyes. “Well, there it is. Leave it to Shea to tell you what we are in the same breath as fucking. And for the record, humans have absolutely no idea how good sex can be for a werewolf. I spend most of my time as a man, and there are feelings that don’t translate into words.”
I couldn’t breathe. Shadow never joked with Shea about anything. He never even took his side. I should’ve been running again, but my brain couldn’t get the message to my feet to get moving.
These two just told me they weren’t human. Either they were crazy, or I was.
“Preach it, brother.” Shea high-fived Shadow, then put his hand on my arm. I flinched. He frowned. “Are you okay? Lean back against the desk. Get her some water, Shadow. She’s in shock.”
I couldn’t swallow the drink. My body malfunctioned and nothing seemed right. At any moment, one of these men could turn into an animal. And then what?
Shea rubbed my back. That stayed the same, no matter how this ridiculous claim was. I put down the cup and looked at him, silently begging him to take it all back. “It’s better that we tell you the truth, because you’ve been fed enough lies. We’re not fucking with you. I can see it all over your face. On the full moon, we shift into wolves. Usually it only lasts a day or two. We run in the forest. You never have to see us that way, unless you want to. But since Christmas is the full moon this year, you need to know why we’ll celebrate early.”
“You probably have a ton of questions,” Shadow said. Understatement of the year. “Nothing is off-limits. Ask anything. Most humans don’t know about us anymore. We hide it well. In human form we’re stronger and faster than regular men. Our senses are heightened. What else, Shea?”
“We’re naked when we shift back.” Shea wiggled his eyebrows, and he actually got me to laugh. “Thank God. I thought I might never hear you do that again. And we mate for life.” He swallowed hard, and averted his eyes.
“If we find a mate.” Shadow sighed. “All she-wolves our age and younger were sold to the highest bidders. That wasn’t us.”
I looked at Shea, who for the first time ever, seemed sad. When he met my gaze, there was something else there. A longing for what he couldn’t have. I put my hand on his leg, and he covered my hand with his. I understood.
All along I knew we had a connection. We were both outsiders, looking in at the rest of the world. I’d be lying if I said this revelation didn’t terrify me, but so many things terrified me I’d lost count of them all. Everyone at Forever Home had promised to keep me safe, and so far, they’d made good on that promise.
I wasn’t like everyone else either. Of all people, I should understand. And these people who weren’t even human treated me more like a person than anyone else ever had.
All my daydreams of Shea and his tattoos were for nothing. I couldn’t have him. Who was I kidding? I never could. A powerful man like that, a wolf in all forms, would never want a mute little mouse like me. He was being nice to me because he’d lose his job if he wasn’t.
I picked up the notebook. The pen shook in my hand. Is Trina a wolf?
“No, she’s human. All the girls at the shelter are.” Now it was Shadow’s turn to look uncomfortable. “Not having a mate taught me something. When you find love, you don’t let go.”
SEVEN
Shea
“Pick out the biggest tree you can,” I said. “We’ll make the bitch fit. Make sure it doesn’t have any fucked up branches.”
Delaney circled the lot, considering her options carefully. I did my best to act normal, now that she knew everything about me. It was the same feeling as when I had to borrow a suit from Major and go to court. All day she’d kept her distance, watching me when she didn’t think I was paying attention. She didn’t know what it meant to be a wolf. I always knew when I was being watched.
But she was still here, and that meant everything. Those two big reveals could’ve scared her away, but she hadn’t left my side, stopping to inhale the pine scent of the trees, giggling at my jokes.
The Christmas tree farm was owned by an old Sawtooth wolf. This thing had been cut today. My wolf rumbled, barely. The scent woke the animal inside me, making it peel one lazy eye open and immediately go back to sleep. The new moon was a wolf’s Achilles heel. Without the lunar pull, everything was dull.
Everything but Delaney. She glowed in the nighttime chill, strings of Christmas lights hanging overhead. She grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the tree she wanted. I’d follow her anywhere. That would never go away, even if the moon got knocked out of the sky. I had a deep primal need for her I’d never felt before. Countless fights and more blood on my paws than I cared to think about, and she was the one thing that scared the living shit out of me.
“Let’s go to Walmart and buy every ornament they have,” I suggested when we got in the truck. The tree hung over the windshield. X would kick my ass when he saw his truck. Sap and needle scratches everywhere. “Clean the place out. The only good trees are gaudy trees.”
Delaney nodded, frowning, and twisted her hands in her lap.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. She looked away from me. “I’m still me, no matter what I am. Don’t let that scare you.”
She shook her head and picked up the notebook, tapping the pen against it before writing.
The wolf thing won’t be real until I see it. It’s not that. I have so much I want to tell you, but I’m sick of writing. I want to say it, and I don’t know how. You told me your secrets, and I can’t tell you anything.
“That’s not true. Remember, we pick up on stuff that humans can’t. It’s such a fucking relief to be able to talk about this with you.” I took my hat off, running my hand through my hair. Instead of putting it back on, I dropped it on her head. It slipped down over her eyes and she pushed it back. Fuck, she was adorable.
“I have an idea.” I took a deep breath, and she waited for me to continue. “Shhhh.” I blew a hard breath out between my teeth. “You do it.”
She wrinkled her brow, sending the hat back down on her nose. She giggled as she picked it up. I knew she could make noise. I just had to teach her how. I taught her how to milk a cow. I could do this. “Shhhh.” Hers was much softer than mine.
“Perfect.” Time for the next step. “Now try ‘A’.” I extended the sound. I was pushing her, and I was being selfish. But hearing her same my name would be everything.
She shook her head and quickly turned to the window. Her body tensed like she wanted to crawl out of it.
“You won’t try?” I wasn’t letting her off the hook. She wanted this, she just told me. She’d been so brave, but she’d let her fear swallow her. “It’s okay if it doesn’t sound right. Wait until I shift. Everything I’ll say with sound like this.” I howled, hoping she would laugh, but she bowed her head, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Fuck.
I climbed over the console, sliding beside her on the seat. I picked her up easily and positioned her in my lap. She grabbed me harder than I expected. I wished we were closer to the full moon, I wanted to give her all the strength she didn’t realize was bubbling just beneath the surface of her own skin. Everyone else could see it. She glimmered with promise. I took my hat off her and stroked her hair while she cried on my shoulder.
Usually I couldn’t stand it when girls cried. Shove that shit down, that’s what I’d tell them. Suck it up. But Delaney needed to get this out to give all the good stuff room to grow.
She curled her fingers in my hair. I held back a groan. If she had any idea ho
w much I loved a good yank on my hair in the heat of the moment…No. Cut the shit, stop thinking like that.
That was the problem. Maybe I should be thinking like that. Why deny my feelings for this girl because she had to write everything down? Because some asshole locked her up and threw away the key? It was a piss-poor reason to follow suit with everyone else who’d wronged her.
I wanted to kiss the hell out of her. Make all the bad shit go away.
Delaney stopped crying, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. She only looked at me for a second before picking up her glasses to wipe her tears away.
“Let me do it,” I said softly, moving her fingers away before she had a chance to protest. I swept my thumb across each cheekbone, then brushed along her chin, catching the moisture there. She gasped when I ran my finger upon her bottom lip.
Delaney jumped back when my lips met hers, but only for a second before pressing against me. I knew she’d taste like sugar. I skimmed her bottom lip, gently, giving her a chance to pull away. But she wanted this. Even more badly than I did. I took her lip between mine, nipping softly. She stilled, and I did it again. After working with her at the farm, I knew all I had to do was show her what to do and she’d follow my lead. A couple more times, then she caught me, complete with that giggle that was fast becoming my biggest weakness. If only she knew how beautiful she sounded.
Our lips moved together, exploring slowly. Delaney dug her fingers into my shoulders, steadying herself so she could rise up and commit to the kiss. The shyness melted away. Our tongues touched and tangled. Every time she tried something new, my heart stuttered in my chest. I’d never been so aware of it beating until I met this woman.
I could’ve kissed her forever, in X’s truck in the Walmart parking lot, Christmas tree tied to the top of the cab. But she pulled away, touching her fingers to her lips to keep the kiss to herself or hide her smile, I didn’t fucking know. I was drunk of the taste of her. And the only cure was hair of the dog.
“No hiding.” I stole a quick kiss through her fingers. “You deserve this. Don’t let anyone take this feeling away from you.”
She pressed her fingers to her lips, tilting them toward me. Thank you in sign language. Then she brought them up to my lips. If she had any idea what she was doing to me, she wouldn’t be doing it in public. I kissed each finger, our gazes locking. Delaney might not have words, but we didn’t need them.
I opened the door, and slid her off my lap. The cold air was a slap in the face I desperately needed. “Get everything you want. This is going to be the best Christmas ever.”
She took my hand. She wanted me.
— — —
“What the hell are you doing?” Major asked as I wrestled the Christmas tree into the living room. He stood up but didn’t help me. Thanks, jackass.
“Shea! You got a Christmas tree!” Emma, Major’s girlfriend’s daughter, tackled me around the knees. She almost knocked me over. A branch went up my nose on impact, and I couldn’t see a goddamn thing, face full of tree. “Where are we going to put it?”
It was still pretty fucked up that my brother had a girlfriend. Cass was more than that--she was his mate. Had things been normal in the forest, and the she-wolves hadn’t been sold off like slaves, they would’ve been together all along. But instead, she had to marry the son of the bastard who’d kept us in chains. Now he was gone, and she and Major could be together.
It was going to be a good fucking Christmas for so many reasons.
“The kid can figure it out and you can’t?” I leaned the tree against the wall and scooped up Emma. She wouldn’t take kindly to me bringing another woman home. Since she and her mom moved in, her favorite hobby was commanding all my attention.
“Let me take those.” Cass rushed across the room, taking Delaney’s bags. “No surprise Shea would leave you to fend for yourself. I’m Cass. This is Major, and Shea’s holding my little linebacker, Emma. I don’t think Shea’s mentioned you—“
“This is Delaney.” I rushed over to her, Emma still in my arms. I needed to institute some instant damage control. Living with Major and Cass was worse than living with my parents. They didn’t let anything slide, and they never kept their mouths shut, which was why I hadn’t said anything about Delaney yet. I didn’t want to hear their shit. “She uses sign language.”
“What’s sign language?” Emma asked, cocking her head toward Delaney.
Delaney bit her lip hard, looking to me for guidance. Her eyes widened and her shoulders rose with every breath. I pressed my thumb to forefinger, gliding my free hand back and forth in a semi-circle. Family.
She nodded, then began moving her fingers and hands.
Emma was fascinated, mouth open like she watched a magic trick. “What did she say?”
“She said she works with me at the barn,” I said. Emma turned back to Delaney, who continued. “And that I taught her how to milk a cow.”
Emma’s face lit up. “Will you teach me how to do that?”
Delaney mirrored Emma’s expression and nodded. Cass pulled Emma away from me. “You’ll learn pretty quickly this is Emma’s world and we all live in it. You don’t have to say yes to everything she asks for. I’d love it if you hung out with us, though. I just came back to the forest, and it’d be awesome to have another girl around.”
Emma pouted when Cass lowered her to the ground, but forgot about us when she saw the Christmas goodies sticking out of the bags. “Are there presents in here?”
“Nope.” I snatched the bag away from her. “They’re decorations for the tree. Santa won’t be able to find our house unless we light it up. Then you have to prove to him that you can be a good girl.”
Emma groaned. “I always have to be a good girl.”
“If Santa knew anything, he’d reward the bad girls.” Major must’ve grabbed Cass’ ass judging from the way she jumped. “But if he doesn’t want to, I’m more than happy to do it.”
“Where should we put the tree?” Cass asked after giving him a smoldering look. “In front of the window?”
“Santa will be able to see it there,” Emma pointed out.
Major and I put the tree in the stand. X tested lights and strung them. Cass trimmed the tree with garland, waving us off when we gave her shit for being a perfectionist. I brought the old ornaments down from the attic. The new ones would never cover this giant tree. It swallowed the living room. Delaney and Emma sorted ornaments, creating a system for hanging them. Emma’d ask Delaney what a word was in ASL, and she’d show her. Emma picked up sign language like she’d been born knowing it.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Delaney. She blossomed like a flower, petals reaching for the sun, becoming even more beautiful with each day. I slid my arms around her waist as she hung the last ornament. “You’re amazing,” I murmured in her ear.
She brought her fingers to her mouth, making the sign for thank you.
My wolf stirred, wanting more. “Every time you touch your mouth I want to taste you.” Keeping my voice low enough that only she could hear me was torture.
Delaney looked at me over her shoulder, smirking before touching her mouth again, then her fingers landed on my lips. I nipped at them, desperate for more of that sweet taste, but she took my toys away when Emma crashed into our legs.
“We forgot the angel,” Emma said.
“Are you going to sit on top of the tree?” I asked.
Emma shrieked with laughter. “It’s an ornament!”
Major picked Emma up so she could put the angel on top of the tree. With its blonde hair and serene expression, it looked just like Delaney.
“Is Delaney sleeping over?” Emma asked.
Major turned Emma upside down. “You’ll find out in the morning, because it’s time for you to go to bed. Say good night to everyone.”
Emma squealed. “Good night!”
Delaney signed good night to Emma, then turned to me, biting her lip.
“Want to?” I asked.
&
nbsp; “He’ll only bite you if you ask him to.” Cass nudged Delaney, then headed out of the room to get her daughter to bed. “My advice? Ask him to bite you. ‘Night, kids.”
— — —
Major woke my ass up a couple hours later. I jumped out of bed, thinking we were under attack. Other packs usually only fucked with us in our wolf forms, but the forest had been turned upside down in the last couple months-- anything was possible.
“Why is Delaney on the couch?” he asked.
“Why aren’t you fucking Cass?” I groaned and crawled back under the covers. “Feeling shy with an audience? No wonder I was sleeping so good. It’s quiet.”
We shared a bedroom wall, and in the last few weeks, I heard everything.
“If I were you, that sweet little girl would be in my bed.” Major made himself at home, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What’s up with her? Is she the one from the shelter?”
“X told you?” Leave it to him to not be able to keep his yap shut.
“Yeah. At least one of my brothers doesn’t keep secrets from me.” Major narrowed his eyes, continuing before I had a chance to defend myself. “Don’t try to tell me it’s nothing. You don’t touch her like it’s nothing.”
“She’s….” I couldn’t find the right word. Delaney had me speechless, too. She was everything, and Major would figure it out on his own. Anything else would be a betrayal. I wasn’t giving my brother an excuse to treat her differently.
“She’s human, that’s what she is,” Major said.
“So what. No one’s waiting for any little Sheas running around the forest. We’re friends. She’s had a shit fucking time of things, and she’s ready for something better.”
“It’s not the baby thing.” Major shook his head. “Other packs will see her as a weakness. If they attack, they’ll go for the quick, easy pain to rip you apart.”
“No one’s going to hurt her,” I growled. I could guarantee very few things in life, but that was one of them. Anyone who laid a finger or claw on her would pay with their blood.
Sugar, Spice, and Shifters: A Touch of Holiday Magic Page 38
