Truly Madly Awkward

by Beth Garrod

  She really must be as gross as him to actively want to spend time with that kind of #idiot #loser #idiotandloser.

  Rach put on her best Made in Chelsea voice to read what Ska had replied below. The first bit was just kiss noises.

  Then:

  And thanks @legalmark for being the best dad in the world & us to LDN to make it happen

  I was so tempted to post a but Mikey would kill me.

  Grossed out, I switched the screen off. But something was still bugging me.

  It was like I had all the pieces of something. Something important. But I couldn’t work out what.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-THREE

  When I’d got home that night, I’d done all the things I usually did to make things OK – ate unnecessary toast, binge-watched Master of None, and chatted with Shay about Adam. But even good stuff didn’t feel as good when I couldn’t talk to Teeg about it.

  I was so desperate for something to feel normal again, I rang Jo. The last thing I wanted to talk about was how much I’d messed up with Teeg. But my brain had its own plan, and it was the very first thing I’d mentioned.

  Jo couldn’t believe we’d fallen out. She was right to be shocked – saying it out loud made me see how bad things had got.

  So after I put down the phone, I picked it back up to Rach. It was time to sort this out once and for all. We agreed whatever happened the next day we weren’t going to leave school until we’d properly spoken to Tegan. And apologized one more time. I even messaged Mikey to check she was free at lunch.

  Look out, world. Mission: Repair Us Three was on.

  I could do this!

  Or could I? Because when I woke up the next morning I felt sick with nerves. But my freak out was interrupted by the doorbell.

  With my hair dripping wet, I flung the door open.

  I didn’t expect to see who was standing there.

  “We need to talk.”

  It was Tegan.

  Without bothering to brush my hair, and with legs that were actually wobbling with fear, I grabbed my stuff and yelled bye. I then dashed back in, grabbed the two bits of toast I’d already made, and ran back out.

  “Apology bread?” I held out a slice for Tegan.

  “Wow. You really must be sorry.”

  She knew nothing normally came between me and Marmite.

  We walked out on to the street, chewing in silence.

  But what could I say? “Erm, so thanks for coming.”

  She shrugged, “Mikey may have given me a heads-up that I was going to get hunted down for this chat today. So thought I’d at least make it somewhere private.” Oh. I was hoping she was here cos she wanted to sort things out, not just avoid attention. “And don’t be mad at him – he was trying to help.”

  But I was done being mad at anyone. I only had one priority. Trying to make things up with her.

  I took a deep breath. And almost choked on a toast crumb, so had to wait a bit longer.

  “OK. Well, let me start…” But where to begin? “I’m sorry. Sorry for talking to the others about you. I should have just come to you…” I knew at the time she’d hate it, but was too much of a wimp to just ask her. “Sorry for being a crap friend.” I tried to make her smile. “And er, sorry for slightly perving on your married gym teacher who is an actual father.”

  She did a tiny nose laugh. This was a good sign, right?

  “It wasn’t slightly, Bella. It was full on. And you missed the part about somehow putting it all together to wonder if I was having some kind of, I dunno, secret affair?” She shook her head. “Oh – and then telling my boyfriend about it.”

  “Yeah. I know. Awful. I’m awful.” I certainly felt awful. “But I never thought you were cheating. Just, I dunno, something weird. And then it all came out in one big accident.”

  She softened a little. “Yeah, Mikey told me. Backed up what you said at school. I just…” She searched around for the words. “Well… I guess I’d just felt a bit pushed out.”

  “Woah,” She’d been feeling pushed out? But that’s exactly how I’d been feeling? “I had no idea.”

  “Do you not think all these weeks I’d much rather have been hanging out with you guys than stuck in that gym hall? Chatting about the Helicans, rather than being yelled at to do repetitions?”

  “Guess I’d never thought about it like that.” I always felt like she was the one abandoning us. Maybe even a little jealous of it all. “But whenever I tried to talk about it, you shut me down.”

  “It’s cos I didn’t have a choice. I had to do it and it seemed like you were secretly mad at me for it.” Ouch. I’d kept telling myself I wasn’t, but maybe she was right. “Sooooo… I stopped talking about it. And at the same time, got used to not knowing what was going on with you guys any more so it didn’t feel as crap for me.”

  So that’s why she’d backed away. Not cos she was bored of us – because she missed us. Eurgh. Hearing it so black and white made me realize how tough it must have been for her. If these guys nagged me every time I mentioned the Helicans, I would have zero people to help take the pressure off. And that’s exactly what had happened to Teeg. Instead of resenting her not being around, I should have realized she needed us more than ever.

  “I’m sorry. I really am… I guess, guess we just missed you.” I tried to think of something more positive. “So, er, did you get the good-luck videos we made? We were thinking of you ALL day.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” Well at least that was something.

  “When do you find out?”

  She shrugged. “Soon.”

  “I’ve been hitting you up for updates every day?”

  She nodded. “Yup. I know. I guess I just wasn’t ready to be friends then.”

  “And now…?” My question hung in the air. “Cos, lemme be clear, this week has totally sucked without you.” Was she starting to smile? “And lemme be also clear – you may have a stone penis in your pocket.”

  She put her hand in and pulled out Steen.

  “What the heck?!”

  “Well, exactly.” I unzipped my bag. “Oh, and we spent all night making you this…”

  I presented Tegan with the fruits of mine and Rach’s Photoshop marathon last night: Tegan’s face added on to the Team GB squad, printed and made into a brand-new badge for her bag (I KNEW there was a reason I’d hoarded my BadgeIt under my bed).

  “Woah,” Tegan tried to take it in. ”I mean … speechless?!” Yup, it was a monstrosity. But it was the thought that counted and I was happy she pinned it on to her schoolbag.

  “So, what’s it to be … apology accepted?” I grinned. “Cos if no, don’t think I’ll reveal if there are any more appendages hidden about your person.”

  This time I got a proper laugh.

  “Friends.” She put her hand out to shake mine, but snatched it back quickly. “Although, there’s something I want to say first.”

  Uh-oh.

  “Bella, I’m sorry too – I’ve been acting like a right weirdo. If I hadn’t been so stressed out then you would probably have just talked to me like normal. But…” She shrugged. “The audition’s out of the way, and I’m never going to get like that again.” She grimaced. “Or should I say, pleeease never let me get that way again?! Moody Tegan was no fun. And storming out is hard work!”

  This time she put her hand back out and kept it there. And with a firm, “Promise!” we both shook. Which turned into a hug, which turned into a massive, relieved laugh.

  The team was back in action.

  But the good mood didn’t last long. Because as we ambled towards school Tegan explained the other reason she’d wanted to talk to me this morning.

  And by the time we got to school I was fuming.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-FOUR

  At first Rach hadn’t understood (especially as she was mainly focused on hugging Tegan and telling her how she happy she was we were all friends again). Then she didn’t think it was possible.

>   But when we’d showed her what Tegan had revealed to me, we had all the proof we needed. Tegan had worked it out after hearing our lunch chat yesterday. Even when she was mad at me, she was still secretly having my back.

  Why were things always so obvious after you needed them to be obvious?

  So many things had to happen.

  The final was only three days away and we needed to act fast. Step one was confronting the person behind it all.

  And as scary as it was, because I was at the centre, I knew I had to do it. Alone.

  So that’s why after school, I found myself sitting on the bench near my house, on my own, waiting. (Tegan and Rach lurking within shouting distance.)

  I was petrified.

  But it had to be done. And it was better now than Saturday, live on radio.

  I wiped my clammy hands on my jeans trying to gather my thoughts. Deep breath. Keep calm.

  Teeg had said it had all fallen into place yesterday after I’d left. Mikey had asked who it was in the pic of Luke’s girlfriend which I’d left up on his phone. Tegan had replied, “Apparently she’s a hot model called Ska. Let me see…”

  Mikey had misheard. And thought she was called Skalett. Scarlett. And with another click on her profile, Tegan had realized she was. And with one more click on her dad who she’d tagged, it didn’t take long for Tegan to get confirmation he wasn’t just legalmark, he was a lawyer. Who sent his daughter to JOGS.

  Ska was Letty.

  Ska was Queevil.

  I was so furious I knew I had do something. But as the expected mix of footsteps and bike wheels got closer, I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to go through with it.

  I tugged on Mumbles’ lead, happy not to be on my own (although she was scared of falling leaves and puddles, so in our relationship, I was more of a guard-human than vice versa).

  The approaching figure was in the shadows, but I was certain who it was. I took a deep breath and channelled my inner Tegan.

  “Luke.”

  My heart was beating so fast my voice sounded like I was sitting on a tiny washing machine.

  He stopped. “Fishy Balls.” He was closer to me than I felt comfortable with. I mustn’t let him intimidate me. I stood up.

  “I’ll keep it quick.”

  “Thank God.”

  “I know what you’re up to…” Yup, I was doing it. “And it’s not going to work.”

  He laughed. “Speak English, not Netflix drama.”

  So he was going to be difficult. No surprise there.

  “OK, I’ll spell it out … I know who Letty is. I know you’ve been helping her win. And I KNOW that it STOPS NOW.”

  I’d practised that line at least twenty times, but was still impressed I’d managed to say it right. If only I felt as brave as I sounded.

  Luke sucked in his cheeks.

  “You mean those Instagram posts? Nothing stopping me supporting her.”

  “No, Luke. I mean hacking the votes. Don’t even think you can get away with it in the final.”

  I’d always thought it was weird that the person with the worst advice had kept getting through – was now in the lead. And after Tegan’s Ska discovery, I’d worked it out. It had been rattling round in my head ever since Luke had said that thing in GADAC about getting followers up. Then it had got retriggered when I’d seen the numbers on his profile. Luke, the same guy who’d hacked the school directory to change my name. Who loved nothing more than causing trouble with his computer.

  He laughed again. He was actually enjoying this.

  “Oh, yeah, cos of course they’re going to believe the person who’s in last place, who suddenly wants to take out the favourite.” We both knew he was right. “Who also has how much proof? Ummm, that’s right, zero.”

  He’d been clever – covered his tracks. So I had to make him believe I had more than I did.

  “That’s what you think.”

  But he wasn’t buying it.

  “That’s what I know. No one likes a sore loser, Blob. So if you’re going to come last, don’t make yourself look even more bitter while you’re at it.”

  But little did he know, I did have an idea.

  When we’d worked out the full scale of what was going on, Rach, Tegan, Ava, Mikey and I had discussed what we could do. Try and get official proof? Tell Jaz? Confront Letty? But we’d come to the same conclusion. It was too risky to do anything official. Luke and Letty had no limits, and I couldn’t jeopardize my place in the comp. If I wanted to win, I was going to have to do it the only way Letty and Luke couldn’t. Fair and square.

  Well. Fairish and squareish. Oblongish maybe.

  Because I did have Shay. And I did have a plan.

  And it was time to activate part one of it. For it to work, I HAD to sound as casual as I could.

  “Mrs Hitchman’s going to be gutted if St Mary’s lose.”

  “Detentions for life, probs.” He said it with absolute delight.

  “Bet the headmistress of JOGS doesn’t even care?”

  He grinned, happy to break even more bad news.

  “You’d be surprised. She’s been coaching Ska every week – but I’m not an idiot, Blobfish. If you think emotional blackmail will work, think again. As if I care about what happens at school.”

  Him being so cross with the world was really so boring.

  “Yeah yeah, or about the Helicans, or anyone. I get it, Luke. You’re so cool, we’re not. Repeat to fade.”

  “Glad you’ve worked it out.”

  “Well it’s been a total pleassssshure talking to you.”

  “Same.”

  “Send Ska my love.”

  He rolled his eyes and without another word, except “Get a life” under his breath, walked away.

  But he’d given me exactly the info we needed to try and stop him in his tracks.

  I headed straight to the others to update them. It was time for part two of the plan.

  Yes, it was risky, but it was all we had.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-FIVE

  The horn was beeping, but final mirror checks couldn’t be rushed.

  This was it. The final. A LDD. Life Defining Day. My jeans, trainers and Jo’s star top looked as good as they were ever going to. There was nothing more I could do now.

  REALIZATION. The next time I looked in this mirror, I wouldn’t just be “Bella”. I’d be Bella who had met, and maybe even made slight-friendly-hand-greeting-based physical contact with the Helicans. Fingers, are you ready for the greatest moment of your life? But it didn’t seem phased and calmly opened up a message of a hundred from Mikey.

  I needed them, cos this morning was meant to have been a peaceful haven of mental preparation.

  However, it had been a total last-minute scrabble to get ready, as at approx 11:08 p.m. last night Shay had messaged. I thought it was going to be some Helicans good news. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  Bells, don’t hate me, but I’ve gotta work tomorrow. I’m presenting so can’t swerve it. It sucks. Am SO sorry. Know you’ll smash it though xoxoxoxo

  I told her it was all right. It really wasn’t. More than our lift there, she’d been our secret weapon. Our being-friends-with-Lis trump card to freak out Queevil.

  In times of crisis I do weird things. And with Mum away, this time it was to call Jo. She was meant to be covering my GADAC shift from midday, but when I explained, (and she’d ranted about Shay for ten minutes), she’d offered to set off from uni at five a.m. to give us a lift instead. GADAC was going to have to stay closed. Mum agreed to it all on condition I worked tomorrow to try and make up any money we lost. It was the least I could do for everyone putting themselves out, even though it meant sending Adam a message just now asking if we could rearrange. Luckily he’d replied with, “Good luck for today. Can you do next Saturday instead?” Which, when I had more free-brain, I’d reply to and explain everything, even the truth about GADAC.

  Shay’s bombshell meant I’d had about twenty minutes sleep
and was in a total flap. None of it was helped by getting more notifications and messages than I’d received in my entire life. I got actual thumb cramp trying to keep up.

  Right on time at nine a.m., Jo arrived. She looked exhausted. And it made me more determined than ever to do her – and everyone – proud.

  By the time Rach and Tegan were on the backseat, my nerves were at an all-time high and it was all I could do to whimper. Rach was so excited she kept yelping, making Jo slam on the brakes thinking something was up. But even with twelve emergency stops my sister’s efficiency meant we still arrived early.

  She waved us bye, and as the three of us stood under the giant Radio Shire sign, I couldn’t believe this moment was finally here.

  I pulled my shoulders up and looked at Rach and Tegan. “Right – let’s do this.” Yup, this was the start of a new Bella. One that could handle stuff. Win this competition.

  Following my lead, we walked in to the huge reception and I strode up to a friendly looking lady to ask her which way to go. The security guard then loudly (too loudly) shouted that she was a hologram, which was when a person not that much older than us, but wearing more lanyards than I’d seen in my life, came to greet us. I hoped she hadn’t seen what had just happened.

  “Don’t worry – loads of people think she’s real.” She thought a bit. “I mean, mainly old people, but whatever.”

  She gave us each a lanyard and pass of our own (with our own names on?!) and ushered us into a room with biscuits and free tea and water.

  Our passes said VIP. We were VIPs!

  There was Helicans merch EVERYWHERE.

  It was heaven (if God or whoever needed you to sign a form and wear ID around your neck to get there).

  None of us said anything – we just stood there, trying to get our heads round it all. But as we did, the door opened, and in walked Lis, Amil, Rosie, The One With No Name, and Pastry.

  Oh. My. Extreme. Gosh.

  We were officially breathing the same air as the Helicans.

  And all I could do was gawp.

  They were even more amazing in real life than on the internet. Even Pastry looked like she was wearing extra cute fluff implants.