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Too Many Men

Page 41

by Lily Brett


  An unbelievable occurrence. Who on earth would believe this? Ruth laughed at the expression she had just used. She amended the sentence. Who on earth or anywhere else, if there was an anywhere else, would believe this?

  T O O M A N Y M E N

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  Was there such a place as Zweites Himmel’s Lager? Ruth thought. Was Zweites Himmel’s Lager hell? Hell was supposed to be the dwelling place of Satan. Was Höss Satan? Or was he one of many Satans? Devils and wicked souls were supposed to dwell in hell. Condemned, Ruth thought, to eternal punishment. It was supposed to be a place of pain and torment. But there was redemption in Zweites Himmel’s Lager. You could work your way out. The accumulation of wisdom and understanding, it seemed, could graduate inhabitants right out of Zweites Himmel’s Lager. And into Himmel. Heaven. The dwelling place of God, the angels, and the souls of those who have gained salvation. Heaven, a place of peace and beauty. If there was a heaven, she didn’t feel that Höss belonged there.

  She felt tired. She had been in Poland for one week. It felt more like one year. One lifetime.

  “Tomorrow is the anniversary of our first meeting,” Höss said.

  “What?” she said.

  “We met a week ago, tomorrow,” Höss said.

  “It doesn’t feel like a week,” Ruth said.

  “Maybe it is not,” Höss said. “Maybe we have known each other longer than that.”

  “What do you mean?” Ruth said.

  “I do not have to explain everything that I say,” Höss said.

  “Well, don’t link the two of us with anniversaries and shared interests,”

  Ruth said. “I’m not linked to you by anything.”

  “Do not be so sure of this,” Höss said. Ruth lifted her foot to hurt him.

  “I am not as hard-hearted as you would imagine,” Höss said.

  “It would be hard to imagine the degree of hard-heartedness that you possess,” Ruth said.

  “That is not true,” Höss said. “Frequently when I was home with my family, my thoughts would, without any warning, turn to different incidents that had accrued during the day.”

  “You mean when you were relaxing, at night, in Villa Höss?” Ruth said.

  “When you were reclining in your leather armchair surrounded by the other custom-made leather goods you ordered. And the myriad number of stolen items. Briefcases, handbags, suitcases, shoes, toys for the children.

  Were you sitting in the large armchair that sat right underneath the chan-

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  L I L Y B R E T T

  delier, when your thoughts would sometimes stray to what you had done during the day?”

  Höss didn’t answer.

  “Were you comfortable on that plush carpeting?” Ruth said. Höss pretended not to hear.

  “My thoughts would roam,” he said. “Sometimes when I thought of particular incidents that had occurred during an extermination, I had to leave the house and go outside. To stay there, inside, in the loving circle of my family while thoughts of my day’s work were present, would become intolerable.”

  “You didn’t want your wife or your children to be contaminated by those thoughts?” Ruth said. “Terrible thoughts of Jews bleeding from the eyes, nose, and mouth. Jews with their skulls crushed. No father would want his children exposed to that. What father wouldn’t want to protect his children from gassed and burnt Jews?”

  “I did my best to protect my wife and children,” Höss said.

  “But you couldn’t,” Ruth said. “Your wife and children, all five of those beautiful children, the two boys and the three girls, were breathing in the fumes from the dead every day. The air coming out of those chimneys went straight into the lungs of your wife and children. Particles and filaments and pinpoints of Jews wedged themselves inside your wife and children.

  They took root. Nothing could shake them out.”

  “How can you say that?” said Höss. “Our house was surrounded by trees. Planted with flowers. Well away from the chimneys.”

  “You couldn’t get far away enough from those chimneys to avoid the pollution. They spread smoke and soot for miles. Jewish soot.”

  “Sometimes the happiness of my wife, especially when she had our youngest in her arms, was too much for me,” Höss said. He sounded melancholy. Almost sad. “I would look at her, and think of the things I had seen during the day,” he said. “I would look at her and wonder exactly how long could all of this happiness that we have last.”

  Ruth was speechless. She had thought that Höss was about to pretend some sympathy for the victims. Some sensitivity at the thought of juxtapos-ing their position with his. Why had she expected that? Why had she expected that level of humanity?

  T O O M A N Y M E N

  [ 3 2 9 ]

  “My wife failed to understand these gloomy moods that overtook me,”

  Höss said. “She always put it down to some irritation to do with my work.”

  “She didn’t understand that you were terrified that the cozy life you had created would all come to an end one day,” Ruth said.

  “No, she did not,” Höss said.

  “You loved your wife, didn’t you?” Ruth said.

  “Yes, I did,” Höss said. “My wife was a very good wife.”

  “I’m sure Hedwig—I love that name—was a great wife,” Ruth said.

  “I would prefer it if you did not call my wife by her name,” Höss said.

  “But it’s a wonderful name,” Ruth said. “Hedwig Höss. I like the alliteration, too. Do you know what alliteration is?”

  “Yes, of course,” Höss said.

  “My, your English is really improving,” Ruth said.

  “Thank you,” said Höss.

  “Family and fidelity were very important to you, weren’t they?” Ruth said.

  “Yes, very much so,” Höss said. He had cheered up again.

  “I know you believed in fidelity,” Ruth said. “I know you severely denounced any sexual relationships between the SS men and women prisoners.”

  “Without question,” Höss said. “SS officers and their subordinates were forbidden to associate with any female prisoners.”

  “You didn’t want the men contaminated, did you?” Ruth said.

  “Of course not,” said Höss.

  “They weren’t allowed to touch the Jewish women or any other prisoners, were they?” Ruth said.

  “No,” said Höss.

  “You never know what could happen if you touch Jewish skin,” Ruth said.

  “That is true,” said Höss. “We are in agreement about this.” Ruth laughed. “What is it that you find amusing?” Höss said.

  “Our agreement,” said Ruth.

  “I ordered my men to stay as far away as possible from all female prisoners,” Höss said. “The jobs that required proximity to the prisoners were carried out by Jewish policemen and policewomen.”

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  L I L Y B R E T T

  “Kapos,” Ruth said.

  “That is correct,” said Höss.

  “It was smart of you to set Jews up to police other Jews,” Ruth said.

  “Especially under such inhuman conditions.

  “You were furious with one of your female supervisors who had sexual relations with a prisoner, weren’t you?” Ruth said.

  “You have read about this?” Höss said. “I was very angry. How could a person sink so low?”

  “And what about Rapportführer Palitzsch?” Ruth said. “He was reputed to be one of the cruelest of your men.”

  “I accused Rapportführer Palitzsch myself,” Höss said. “He was rumored to be having sexual relations with women prisoners at Birkenau. I made it very clear I would not tolerate such behavior.”

  “Some of these men were married, weren’t they?” Ruth said. “The sex they were having with prisoners was not quite as quiet as what they were doing with their wives. There was quite a bit of brutality involved, wasn’t there?”

  �
��I cannot be responsible for what some of my men did to some of the prisoners,” Höss said. “I tried my best, but not all of my men were of a very good caliber. I had many lowly types, asocial sorts.”

  “But you always set a good example yourself,” Ruth said.

  “Without question,” said Höss.

  “You and Hedwig and the five blond-haired children.”

  “Yes, yes, yes,” said Höss.

  “You’re sure about this?” Ruth said.

  “Of course I am sure,” Höss said. “Why are we discussing this?”

  “Did Hedwig know about Eleonore Hodys?” Ruth said. A series of noises Ruth could not quite identify came from Höss. They sounded like disfigured gulps, twisted exhalations, and sputters. “What did Hedwig have to say about Eleonore Hodys?” Ruth said. “Or did Hedwig never know?”

  A few strangulated vowels and consonants tried to come out of Höss. They were bits and pieces of words. Höss sounded as though he was choking.

  “Are you about to asphyxiate yourself?” Ruth said. She laughed. “I didn’t think you’d be so badly affected by the mention of her name. Many other people knew you were having an affair with this prisoner. They said she was Italian, but the name seems more Hungarian to me.”

  T O O M A N Y M E N

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  “This prisoner worked in my home,” Höss said finally. He had managed to muster up a touch of indignation in his voice.

  “I’m glad you didn’t choke to death, just then,” Ruth said. “Can dead people choke to death?”

  “Of course,” Höss said. “This prisoner worked in our house, for my wife and me.”

  “I know that,” Ruth said. “But she did more. Or rather you did more, to her. I’m not sure she had much of a say in the matter.”

  “How dare you speak to me like this?” Höss said.

  “How dare I tell you the truth?” Ruth said. “I think it’s pretty bold of me, too. I was much more frightened of you, in the beginning. You were disgusting to Eleonore Hodys,” Ruth said. “You fucked her whenever you pleased. It was easy, as Hedwig liked to tend the garden, and the acts never took you too long.”

  “How dare you!” Höss shouted.

  “Stop shouting,” Ruth said, “These are not the good old days. If you keep shouting I’ll kick you so hard you’ll never recover.” Where had those words come from? Ruth thought. Those threats? Did she have more power than she knew over Höss?

  “You became worried about the rumors that were growing about what you were doing to Eleonore Hodys,” Ruth said. “So you shipped her off to a penal company. The sort of penal company that ensured death for its workers within weeks. But she didn’t die. And you started to miss her, didn’t you? You didn’t miss her, just her body parts, really.”

  “I have listened to these accusations for long enough,” Höss said.

  “They’re not accusations,” Ruth said. “Just facts. You missed Eleonore Hodys’s arms and legs and breasts and genitals, so you had her shipped back. And still Hedwig suspected nothing.”

  “Mrs. Höss was above such thoughts,” Höss said.

  “Mrs. Höss was not above much else,” Ruth said. “She made sure she was never short of the things she loved most, pure cream, cocoa, the best cuts of meat, margarine, macaroni. She was probably too busy eating to worry about who you were fucking.”

  “I am not listening,” Höss said.

  “I think you have to,” said Ruth. “I have a feeling the decision to listen is not up to you.”

  [ 3 3 2 ]

  L I L Y B R E T T

  “What are you talking about?” Höss said.

  Ruth didn’t answer. She didn’t know why she had said that. It was a feeling that had suddenly inhabited her. The feeling that Höss’s participation in all of this was not quite as voluntary as it seemed. That he couldn’t quite come and go as he pleased. He was locked in, in much the same way as she was. That thought made her feel sick.

  “You had Eleonore Hodys put into Block 2,” Ruth said. “Not just Block 2, but the airless dungeons of Block 2. And there, in that small, sti-fling, blackened cell, you fucked her to your heart’s content. You made sure, of course, afterward, that you straightened every part of your crushed uniform and repositioned your cap. I understand why you didn’t want to remove your clothes. You never knew where these prisoners’ bodies had been. You were always worried about rashes and other symptoms of your illicit sex appearing. You ordered the guards to wash Miss Hodys down before your visits.” Ruth paused. “I’m glad you’re not saying anything,” she said to Höss. “I’m glad you’re not trying out the ‘my wife didn’t understand me’ line. That’s a relief.”

  “My wife and I were very happy,” Höss said in a quiet voice.

  “You were not as devoted a family man as you wanted to be,” Ruth said.

  “You risked infecting Hedwig with lice or fleas.”

  “I did not,” Höss barked. “I always showered after those episodes.”

  Höss sounded as though he was about to implode. “Where did you hear that about Eleonore Hodys?” he said.

  “It was common knowledge,” Ruth said. “The guards used to say, ‘Mr.

  Whiter than White is coming to do his dirty business,’ when they knew you were due to arrive in the dungeons. They also called you Mr. Holier Than Thou, Mr. Incorruptible. I’m not sure if Hedwig ever heard those terms.”

  “Leave Mrs. Höss out of this.”

  “Well, you left her out, didn’t you? You didn’t let her know how frequently you were turning up to get stuck into poor Eleonore.” Humphing noises came from Höss. Ruth knew he was fuming. And red-faced. She could feel the volume of his anger. “You contemplated leaving Eleonore Hodys there to starve to death, once you learned that she was pregnant,”

  Ruth said.

  “How did I know whose child she was carrying?” Höss spluttered.

  “What a joke,” Ruth said. “As though anyone else would have dared T O O M A N Y M E N

  [ 3 3 3 ]

  touch her. And why pretend you even thought of the pregnancy as a child?

  ‘Up the chimney with her,’ you said to the guard. You ordered her gassed.”

  “It was for the best,” said Höss.

  “But you were out of luck,” Ruth said. “Or stupid. You had reported Max Grabner, the chief of Block 2, for having an affair with a prisoner.

  Grabner couldn’t believe his luck when he found out about you and Eleonore Hodys. He went straight to the SS judge investigating him and informed on you.”

  “So that is what happened,” Höss said.

  “You mean you didn’t know?” she said to Höss. What did this mean?

  The fact that she was telling Höss about his own life. It meant nothing. It meant that she was well informed about a subject of mutual interest. She felt exhausted. She was probably more wrung out than Höss.

  “You have interrupted me too often with these lies,” Höss said.

  “You can’t call them lies after you’ve admitted to them,” Ruth said.

  What a stupid thing to say, she thought. As though anything about Höss had to be logical. “They didn’t punish you for the infraction, anyway,”

  Ruth said. “You were too valuable.”

  “Why are you going to Auschwitz?” Höss said. Ruth was too tired to answer. She still didn’t know the answer, anyway. “My family were, without doubt, able to live very well, in Auschwitz,” Höss said. “Every wish that my wife could wish was granted to her.”

  “Except your fidelity. Or maybe she didn’t care about that. She had so much at Villa Höss. What’s a spot of infidelity next to a garden of flowers, and the endless servants and the adorable children and the household pets?”

  “My children loved their two horses and the foal was particularly beloved,” Höss said. “Today I very deeply regret that I was not able to devote more time to my family.”

  “It was possibly for the best, when you look at the results of what you d
id devote most of your time to,” Ruth said. “Possibly your children were better off away from your influence.”

  “Are you being insolent?” Höss said. The military tone had returned to his voice.

  “No,” Ruth said. “Just reflective. Thoughtful. Trying to be helpful.”

  “Really?” said Höss.

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  L I L Y B R E T T

  “Tell me, just one last thing,” Ruth said. “Did Hedwig know about poor Eleonore Hodys?” Höss bellowed and snorted. All sorts of incomprehensible sounds came out of him.

  “I refuse to speak any further to you!” he shouted. Ruth laughed. She felt light-headed.

  “I don’t care,” she said. “I have to go anyway.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  D o you feel all right?” Ruth said to Edek. Edek was standing over the buffet in the smaller of the dining rooms in the Hotel Mimoza. An entire shoal of sardines and a school of herring were already on Edek’s plate for breakfast. She had thought that he looked a little pale.

  She needn’t have asked him if he was all right, she thought. She could have just checked out his breakfast selection. Anyone who was even slightly unwell would not have been able to contemplate a meal that would have depleted the nearest ocean of half of its inhabitants.

  Edek added some pickled onions and black peppercorns from the pickling juice of the herring.

  “I am one hundred percent,” he said.

  “Did you sleep well?” she said.

  “I did sleep perfect,” he said. He looked at Ruth. “You look shocking,”

  he said.

  “I’m just a bit tired,” she said.

  “You are doing too much of that running,” Edek said. Ruth wished she hadn’t brought up the subject of well-being. “It is not normal just to run,”

  Edek said. “To run and run and run. If you are late for something you have to run, of course. But just to run and run and run.” He shook his head. “It is not good for you,” he said.

  Ruth felt annoyed. She decided not to bother trying to bolster her case

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  L I L Y B R E T T

  for the benefits of running by quoting the American Surgeon General or any one of a number of leading advocates for exercise. She didn’t think Edek would be swayed by the opinion of any individual or organization.

 

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