Breaking Hammer (Motorcycle Club Romance) (Inferno Motorcycle Club Book 3)

by Paige, Sabrina

And that meant a shitload of complications in my already too fucking complicated life.

  "Hammer," Meia whispered, her hands already on my belt buckle, then unzipping my pants. She looked at me with wide eyes when she yanked my pants down. "Oh my God."

  My cock was erect, pre-cum already on the tip. Shit, I was half-surprised I hadn't come while I was eating her out; that's how hot I was for her. "Are you sure you still want me?" I asked.

  She nodded, her tongue tracing the length of her bottom lip. I wondered if she was doing it on purpose, the thing with her tongue that made me want to cover her mouth with mine, or if it was a nervous habit. I was reminded of the fact that I didn't know her, that all of this was happening too quickly, that I should be careful, that I didn't need to risk anything for some girl I'd just met. Some girl I knew nothing about.

  And then she wrapped her hand around the base of my cock, opening her mouth and touching her tongue tentatively to the tip, licking that drop of pre-cum that had beaded at the top. I groaned, far too loudly. It had been a long fucking time since I'd been with anyone. On her knees, Meia looked up at me, her eyes on mine as she ran her tongue from the base of my shaft to the tip.

  "Holy shit, Meia," I said. Then I stopped, as the image of her being forced to do this ran through my head. I pulled her to her feet. I couldn't let her do this, on her knees with my cock in her mouth, like she was servicing me. Not like those other bastards. It wasn't right. "No."

  "Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice shaky. "You didn't like it?"

  "No," I said. How the fuck did I put this into words? "I don't- you don't need to do that. I don't -"

  "You didn't like it."

  "Jesus, no," I said. "Fuck."

  She gripped the base of my cock again. "Your head was just between my legs, and you don't want mine between yours?"

  "I don't want to -" Shit, no matter how I said this, it was going to sound fucking corny. I didn't want her thinking I was some kind of pussy. "I don't want to fucking use you. I'm not some shitbag. I want to -"

  She smiled at me, her hand lightly stroking the length of my cock. "Hammer," she said. "I want to do this. For the first time in my life, I want to do this."

  "Shit," I said. My cock throbbed as she moved her hand up and down my length, then stopped, massaging pre-cum into the tip with her finger. "Let's do this right, then."

  It was torture, removing her hand from my dick, as I walked over to the table to grab a condom from my wallet. I tossed it on the bedside table, and took her face in my hands, kissing her again, softly this time.

  "I don't want to hurt you," I said, between kisses. "If you don't feel comfortable..."

  "I'm not fragile, Hammer," she whispered. "I might have been through hell, but I'm not fragile."

  "You're definitely not fragile," I said, taking her breast in my mouth and watching her throw her head back, her hair falling down her shoulders. I could already see the difference in her, how she seemed to be feeling more at ease with me. "Come here."

  I took her hand, pulling her onto the bed, and kissed her, dragging her down on top of me on the bed. Her hair fell forward around my face as she straddled me, her pussy an inch above my cock, resting on me.

  "You're in control," I said. It was stupid, a meaningless gesture, but for whatever reason, I felt it was important. After all she'd been through, I couldn't just screw her. Even if she said she wanted to, I didn't want her to put me in the category of one of those men, her abusers. I was no shrink, but I knew that shit had to have fucked her up when it came to sex. "We can take it at your pace."

  "What you did to me earlier," Meia said. "It was the first time I'd ever - the first time anyone has ever made me...you know."

  "Come?" I asked. "Honey, I aim to change that." I cupped her breasts in my hands, stroking her nipples with my thumbs, and watched her bite down on her lip, moaning in response to my touch. I let one hand roam down her body until my fingers found her clit, and I rubbed my finger across from it, listening to her breathing grow ragged. I could feel her wetness against my pelvis, and I couldn't think about anything except how it would feel inside her. But I knew I needed to wait, let her dictate things.

  Shit, waiting was excruciating.

  She leaned forward again, kissing me, her nipples hard against my chest. Then she put her mouth close to my ear. "Hammer," she said, her voice husky. "I want you inside me."

  "Are you sure?" I asked.

  "Yes," she said. "Now, stop treating me like I'm going to break."

  I reached for the condom, and she helped me roll it down my length. She hovered above me, and I guided my cock toward her, the tip pressing against her entrance. I lay back, watching her eyes grow wide as she slid onto me, at an impressively, excruciatingly slow rate of speed.

  "Oh, fuck, you're tight." The words came out of my mouth without a second thought. Christ, she probably thought I was an asshole. I couldn't think. I wasn't even all the way inside her and I couldn't fucking think straight. I wanted to grab her waist and push her down over my shaft, but instead, I used all of my fucking control not to.

  Let her do it at her own pace, I told myself. I didn't have to wait long, although it seemed like forever, before she pushed herself down on my length, sitting on me hard. Her hands on my chest, she sat there for a minute, not moving, just looking at me, her eyes bright.

  "This feels..." Her voice drifted off, and I felt my cock twitch. She laughed, sending a ripple of vibrations through her pussy, and I felt my cock twitch again.

  I grinned. "What?" I asked. I could hardly speak, with her sitting on me like that, not when all I could think about was driving into her as far as I could go, grabbing her ass cheeks and pushing her up and down on my cock. Not being able to do it was making me insane.

  "It feels good," she said, as she started to rock back and forth on my cock, then leaned forward with each movement, her clit rubbing against my pelvis. Her hair spilled around her shoulders, and her words became breathy. "It...feels...really...good."

  I ran my hands over her, my fingers down the length of her chest, then over her tits, as she started to ride me, less tentatively now. I grasped her waist, reminding myself not to pull her up and down, fucking her the way I was dying to fuck her. Hold off, I thought. I gripped her ass, squeezing and releasing her flesh as she rode me.

  "Oh my God," she said, gasping. "It's really, really good, Hammer."

  My cock was throbbing, her pussy swollen around me so much I could barely keep from coming in her. I willed myself not to move, to let her decide how slow or fast she wanted to take it.

  Meia's eyes closed, and she threw her head back as she rocked on me, her movements more and more rhythmic. I found her clit again, stroked it with my finger as I kneaded one of her breasts with my other hand. The sight of this girl enjoying herself, taking her pleasure from riding me, was too much. I was so close.

  "Meia," I said, no longer able to think about taking it slow.

  "Yes." She panted the word. "Yes."

  "You are going to come again," I said, my finger moving more quickly on her clit. She responded by grinding herself against me, harder, until my cock was buried so deep I could feel my balls pressed up against her ass cheeks. Shit, I could barely hold on. "You are going to come on me. I want to feel you come on me."

  She rode me, harder, her movements less rhythmic and more frenzied as she worked herself up. "Oh my God," she said. "I. don't. know. if..."

  She was fighting it. I could see her fighting it, not sure if she wanted to go over the edge. She had to.

  "Meia," I growled. "You are going to come on me now. I can't wait, and I am going to -"

  Shit. I felt her muscles clench down around me, hard, as she drove herself down onto my cock, and I let go.

  "Fuck," I yelled, my hands on her hips, holding her hard against me as I arched my ass up, burying my shaft in her as deeply as I could go. I heard her scream, and hoped I wasn't hurting her, but I couldn't fucking thinking about anything excep
t letting go inside of her. I thrust in her, once, twice, three times as I came.

  I could still feel her pussy clenching around me, a series of waves of spasms that milked me of anything I still had left. "You all right?" I asked, reaching a hand up to her cheek.

  She exhaled and smiled. "Yes," she said. "I'm finally all right."

  He stroked my hair as I lay with my head pressed against his chest, listening to his heart beat. We'd been lying that way now for hours, I think, talking. He'd told me more things about his life before, about his daughter, and I'd told him about Ben. I'd told him about my life before. The life I had back in Burma, with my family. Before I was taken.

  "I meant what I said, you know," Hammer said. His fingers trailed lazily down the length of my back. "I wasn't just saying shit to get laid."

  "What you said about what?" My head was foggy, my brain lazy from the orgasm. It wasn't something I was used to feeling. In fact, I couldn't remember ever feeling like this, ever having allowed myself to feel this kind of relaxation.

  I felt at ease with him. I knew I barely knew him. I knew it was crazy.

  But there was something about him that was...trustworthy. Good. I knew it, in the core of who I was. I recognized evil. I was more familiar with it than anything else. The men I knew, the ones who entered my life after I was ripped from my family, they were evil. Hammer was nothing like them. His core was good, not rotten like theirs.

  When he told me what he'd done to the men who murdered his wife, I saw a kindred spirit. He could understand what I intended to do, what I would do in a heartbeat once I had Ben back with me. He wouldn't tell me I should let justice prevail, to trust in the same law that overlooked me, that failed to give me any status as a person. He could understand my need for vengeance.

  "Hey, you there?" Hammer asked, bringing my focus back to the present. To him.

  "Huh? Oh, yeah. What did you say?"

  "I meant what I said about Ben," Hammer said. "I want to help."

  "How can you help?" I was wary, even when the offer came from him. People didn't help. Not without expecting something in return.

  "I'm a hacker," he said.

  I stared at him blankly. Aston was smart enough to know better than to leave evidence that someone could find.

  Hammer must have read my expression as doubt. "I'm good," he said. "I was wondering why I couldn't find anything on you before Aston, though. It's because you didn't exist." He paused, looking at the pained expression on my face. "Shit, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I meant that you didn't exist in terms of information I could find."

  "You tried to find out about me?"

  His face paled. "Christ, I sound like a fucking creep. I wasn't stalking you. I mean, fuck, I kind of was, I guess, but not in a fucking serial killer way."

  I smiled, but now there was a twinge of fear gnawing at my stomach as I sat up, still naked, and looked at him. He seemed different than the others, but what if he wasn't, really? He had been following me, searching for information on me- before he knew anything about me. What if he was just as obsessive as Aston had been? Aston's obsession had driven him to keep me, bound to him even years after I'd been apart from him.

  What if Hammer was the same kind of person?

  "Goddamn it, Meia," he said. "I'm not a psycho. But I can start digging, see what I can turn up on Aston, where he might have Ben."

  I nodded, unsure what to think. Use him, Meia, the little voice in my head said. Even if he's some psycho, you can use him to get to your son. It's all about Ben. But Hammer wasn't like that, was he? He wasn't like Aston. I had to believe he was good. There had to be some good in the world.

  "Even if you find where he's keeping Ben, how the hell am I supposed to get to him?" I could feel tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I'd been through the scenario a million times already. It was the only thing I thought about, from the moment I woke until I went to sleep at night. The desire to get Ben back consumed me.

  Hammer looked at me thoughtfully. "The biker club I used to be - I am a part of -" he said. "They might be willing to get involved."

  "Aston is extremely powerful and well-connected," Meia said. "I mean no offense to your club, but there is no way a group of bikers is going to take down Aston."

  Hammer smirked. "Don't underestimate our connections," he said. "We're not the white-trash meth dealers people think of when they think of bikers."

  I felt my heart leap, and I wondered if it was possible for him to help. I'd gotten my hopes up before, just to have them dashed. I'd learned that hope was dangerous. It made me do stupid things, like stay on the old man's estate instead of taking Ben and running when I had the chance, years ago. Hope cost me everything.

  I couldn't pin my hopes on a biker. Hammer was so wrapped up in his own demons he could barely put one foot in front of the other. How could I expect him to be able to see clearly enough to help me? I had no right to expect anything of him. He had no obligation to me.

  As I sat there, a sinking feeling developing in the pit of my stomach, I felt reality begin to intrude on the little cocoon we had here, cutting through the haze and afterglow of sex. I felt my breath catch in my chest, and the air felt warm, too warm. Stifling. "How long have we been here?"

  "A few hours," Hammer said, glancing at the clock. "Oh. More than a few. It's already six."

  "Shit," I said. "I need to go."

  "What did I say?" Hammer asked. He sat up on the bed, and I felt his eyes follow me as I rose and began to put my clothes back on. "Meia, talk to me."

  "I can't stay here," I said. "I have to get back, to the apartment. I can't be gone this long. If Aston calls for me - if he sends for me and I'm not there. He will kill Ben."

  "You have your cell phone, right?" Hammer asked, his voice intense. I couldn't tell if he was angry, didn't look at him as I slid my dress over my head. "Has he ever just shown up at your place before?"

  "No," I admitted. "But I can't risk it. If I'm being watched, I have no reason to be out at night like this, dressed like this. It's not part of my routine."

  "Can I see you again?" he asked.

  No, I thought. Say no. Stay away from him, bide your time with Aston. Then, the other part of me, the cynical questioning part, chimed in. Until what? Until Aston tires of you and kills you and Ben both?

  "Meia." Hammer came up behind me, slid his hands down the length of my arms, pulled me tight against his body. His breath wafted over my ear, raising goose bumps on my arms and making the hairs on my neck stand up. "Don't shut me out."

  "I'm not," I said. I couldn't think, not with him standing there, with his hands on me. "All of this - it happened so quickly. It's not safe. Staying with Aston, doing what I have to do to get Ben back- That's safe."

  Hammer turned me around to face him, put his fingers under my chin, and tilted my face up toward him. "Look at me," he said, his voice dark. "Being with Aston is never going to be safe. He's breaking you, piece by piece. He will kill you, do you understand?"

  "If he finds out I've been with you-" I said. "If he finds out what you're doing, it'll be the end."

  "He won't find out," Hammer said. "We'll be careful. I promise you. On my life, Meia. We will figure this out. We will get you and Ben away from him. I won't let anything happen to you. I can't."

  His voice broke as he said it, and I saw the pain behind his eyes. Of course.

  I smiled sadly. "Saving me won't undo the past, Hammer," I said. "It won't change what happened to April."

  His brow furrowed, and a look of hurt passed over his face. "I wasn't -" He stepped back from me. "What happened here wasn't about that. It was about you and me."

  I brought my fingers to my lips, then touched them gently to his cheek. "I know it wasn't just about us, Hammer," I said. "That's just reality, for both of us. The room is filled with ghosts."

  “I love you, MacKenzie,” I said. I had to make sure she knew it. It was the first thing I did after I left that hotel room, before I could do what I knew
I needed to do next.

  “I know, dad,” she said. “Hey, when I come back, do you think we can talk about getting a horse?”

  “Do you want to come back?” I asked, my heart racing. I thought she was loving being in Puerto Rico. My biggest fear was that she wouldn’t want to come home.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I mean, when school starts again, you know?”

  “Okay,” I said, barely able to contain the feeling of joy at her desire to come home. “I promise we’ll think about getting a horse.”

  “Do you mean it?” She squealed with delight, a sound I hadn’t heard in a long time.

  “Are you going to take care of a horse?”

  “Dad, I promise,” she said, her voice suddenly solemn. “You aren’t going to go back on your word, right?”

  “I won’t go back on my word,” I said. On the horse issue or any of my promises. Like finding out where Ben was. Even as the thought went through my head, I felt a wave of nausea at the idea of someone taking my child from me. Or harming her the way Meia was hurt. “And Mac-”

  “What’s up, dad?”

  “I’m really, really happy you want to come home.”

  “Well, like, I couldn’t stay here forever, dad.” She said it as if it was the most self-evident thing in the world.

  “I thought you wanted to stay with grandma permanently,” I said.

  “I mean, Puerto Rico is really fun and everything,” she said. “But you’re my dad.”

  “Are you just saying that to get a horse?” I asked, my voice teasing. Shit, I didn’t care even if she was. It was enough to hear that she wanted to come home.

  “Dad.” She sighed loudly. She was quiet for a minute, and I almost thought she’d hung up. Then she finally spoke. “I want to go see mom’s grave.”

  "What made you bring up seeing mom's grave?"

  "The counselor, the one I'm talking to," she said. "We were talking about it."

  “Okay,” I said. “We can do that.” And I meant it. For the first time, I felt ready to confront the past.

  A WEEK LATER