HDU #2: Dirt

by India Lee

  Her heart pounding, Amanda speed-walked toward the entrance of the Waltman Global building, ignoring the camera-less paparazzo in the green Mets cap, who obviously didn’t mind being recognized considering his conspicuous headgear.

  “Where’s your camera?” Amanda finally let herself blurt, though she refused to make eye contact with the man. A second ago, her heart had been the calmest and most peaceful Amanda had felt in awhile. Now, her shameless little stalker had her pulse racing, beating hard in her throat.

  “Shoot. Forgot it,” came the man’s reply just before Amanda pushed through the shiny revolving door of the building. “Don’t be mad,” she heard him call after her as her palms shoved the glass door so that her heels could meet the safety of the marble lobby.

  She didn’t dare peer over her shoulder under the elevator doors opened, guaranteeing her an escape from the man’s view. She knew he’d still be standing outside the doors and upon looking, confirmed that he was. Her hands shaking as she pressed her floor number, Amanda heaved a shaky sigh, grateful to at least have the elevator to herself.

  Taking her phone out of her pocket, her fingers flew as they typed a hurried, panicked text out to Liam.

  Liam I didn’t tell you this the past few weeks because I didn’t want you to worry but there’s been a paparazzo following me for awhile and he doesn’t have a camera — all he does is say these weird things that suggest he watches me closely. He just approached me right outside of waltman global and he’s starting to really

  The elevator dinged. Amanda looked up, distracted by the suited woman who stepped in, flashing her an odd look.

  “You okay?” the woman asked slowly, as if Amanda were in a state flustered enough that she might not process the regular speed of human speech. Amanda cleared her throat, holding the screen of her phone against her stomach.

  “I’m fine. Thank you.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed. I’d be nervous working with that boys club at Leadoff, too.”

  Amanda’s eyes fluttered, remembering that people knew well who she was and whom she worked for. Her lips cracked into a short laugh. “I’m not nervous about that,” she said as politely as possible.

  “Right. Well. Good luck to you guys,” the woman offered her own strained smile as the elevator dinged again. “I read that you’re in a bit of trouble. I’ll make sure to watch the premiere for you next week.”

  With a nod, the doors opened once again and the suited woman stepped out into her office, leaving Amanda in the elevator with a curled lip and her finger held down on her phone’s backspace button.

  You’re fine, she told herself. You can handle this on your own.

  ~

  “Goddamnit, Bird.” Skip chucked a pen cap at Bird with exaggerated fury. “Did I miss the memo for Dominatrix Mondays again?”

  In case she hadn’t caught onto his jab, Skip shook his head at Amanda’s outfit as she took the only available seat at the table — next to Connor, who of course snorted.

  Though Bird blinked cluelessly while rubbing the spot on his forehead that the cap had hit, Fish and a couple others laughed loudly at the joke, making it a point to look at Amanda while doing so. Unfazed, she kept her eyes on Skip.

  “I know repetition is a popular concept in writing but I think you’re overusing it on the memo joke,” she said through her polite smile. “On that topic, you could afford to repeat a few other things a little less too,” she said, nodding at his ratty Yankees jersey.

  Bird snorted loudly as the rest of the group silenced.

  “I do think I smell that thing from here, Skip,” Tom mumbled tiredly without looking up from his phone. “We all remember that you once coached minor league. You can go ahead and wear something else now.”

  Bird buried his face in his hands so as to hide his laughter. Stunned herself, Amanda peered over at Skip, whose mouth snapped shut. Postures stiff and frozen throughout the room, all that moved were everyone’s darting eyes.

  “Sorry. Not everyone’s into wearing shit from the S&M store,” Fish said, breaking the silence and once again doing so while staring dully at his computer screen.

  Really? Couldn’t just let it go? Amanda stared at him and his stupid yellow plaid button-up with the stupid Brown University T-shirt underneath. “To each his own,” she said, clipped. “I guess my taste in clothing has just actually changed since college.”

  Fish’s eyes finally flew up to meet hers. “I’m sorry I actually went to college.”

  “I went to college.”

  “Hardly.”

  “Gentlemen,” Tom interrupted with a groan. “And women. Gentlewomen. Fish and Amanda. Shut up.”

  Amanda chewed her lip, forcing herself not to say anything back to Fish or his stupid pompous smirk. But she could feel her lip curling out of the grasp of her teeth as Skip turned over to Fish with a snort. “Whattaya say she majored in? Theater? Acting?”

  Fish smirked. “Gold-digging, according to Schaffer.”

  Amanda’s eyes blazed. “Excuse me?”

  Tom pounded his fist on the table. “Jesus Christ, you fucking children, can you calm the hell down for two minutes?”

  “Gold-digging?” Amanda turned to her left, cocking an eyebrow at Connor. Through her hot rage, even Tom’s booming voice couldn’t daunt her.

  “Do any of you realize that we have no season finale and the premiere party is tomorrow? And in case you forgot, the show premieres on television in one fucking week, on the same fucking day as Casey Mulreed’s show.”

  “You know damned well what I’m talking about, Amanda,” Connor muttered, his eyes on his phone as he checked sports scores.

  “You’re kidding me right?”

  Once again, Tom’s fist met the table — this time hard enough to make the mugs and water bottles jump. “Get out, both of you. We don’t have time for this right now so go outside, squabble it out and come back when you’re not five fuckin’ years old anymore. Go.”

  Connor was out the door before Amanda could even push her chair out. Ignoring the stares, she rose to her feet, marching out of the writers’ room and after him.

  “I don’t care if you don’t like me for your best friend, Connor, but leave me the hell alone at my job. My job has nothing to do with me and Liam,” she called down the hall.

  “Except the fact that you wouldn’t have gotten it without him,” Connor snorted without turning around. Seriously? You passive-aggressive tool. Amanda quickened her speed until she walked side-by-side with Connor, who rolled his eyes and kept his gaze forward.

  “You know what, I know that Liam told you everything that happened in the past six months — with the contract, with Ian, with Casey, with Dylan. I get that you wouldn’t trust me for him, especially after all the things you two have been through growing up. But whether you care to notice or not, I’ll eventually prove you wrong about being right for Liam. In the meantime, at least have the decency to leave me alone at my place of work. I have enough trouble trying to gain anyone’s respect around here without you telling them that I’m a gold digger.”

  Connor finally stopped in his tracks, smirking at Amanda’s inability to halt her step as suddenly. “It was just easier than saying what you really are.”

  Amanda did her best not to roll her eyes to the back of her head. “Maybe try not being completely cryptic for once,” she said, following Connor as he stepped into an empty room at the end of the hall. Slamming the door shut, he sneered.

  “You’re not this sweet, innocent girl, Amanda. You know your way around this industry a lot better than you let on. You might actually be the same fucking person as your little ‘friend,’ Casey.”

  “Oh my God,” Amanda couldn’t help laughing straight in Connor’s face. She hardly felt any guilt over the instant indignation clenching his jaw. “How. Please tell me how I’m like Casey.”

  “You’re a cancer to other people. You suck the life out of them to feed your own. You used up all of that kid Ian’s advice to get famous. And
then you left his ass behind to get preyed on by someone that you insisted on being friends with even when Liam warned you she was toxic. You screwed over your friend and then both of you screwed over Liam — and then even Dylan,” Connor laughed bitterly. “Christ. At least the one person Casey’s close to knows what she’s really like. Jamie knows. But you still put on this act for Liam so you can keep manipulating him into getting you everything that you need to be famous for no damned reason. You got the contract out of him, you got him to bring you to New York, got him to bring you to all the nice parties so you could meet Wendy and Dylan and Casey.” Connor touched his curling lip. “Then you did God knows what with Dylan in the bathroom after Liam fucking put his ass on the line for you because of your cokehead friend. You can go ahead and try to tell me that Casey was behind that but something tells me Casey wasn’t behind how damned fast you jumped into Dylan’s arms when Liam ended it with you.”

  Amanda felt her unblinking eyes go dry, a lump forming in her throat. She tried to retort but nothing came out. Connor nodded, satisfied.

  “You got nothing for me now, huh?” He rubbed the stubble on his jaw as he sneered. “That’s funny ‘cause I’m not even done listing the shit you’ve pulled on Liam. Like getting into his head about Logan, digging up all the things from his past that you knew would fuck with his head. Getting him to buy you that fucking house somehow — that’s fucking crazy, Jesus Christ.” Connor shook his head as he looked up at the ceiling, his smile one of bitter disbelief. “You know, at least when he was fucking a bunch of different girls every week, he was sane. I didn’t have to worry about him, about him making crazy decisions or screwing up all the things he’s spent his life and his brother’s life working toward. Just for a girl who’ll leave him once she finds some new, maybe richer idiot to fall for all her tricks.”

  “None of that is what you’re making it out to sound like,” Amanda finally managed to say, despite knowing well that it was a weak argument.

  “Then what was it? Because it sounds a lot like the mind games Angie played to keep Liam around so he’d keep her tanking career relevant. So she’d have someone big enough around to pull a publicity stunt on once she needed it.”

  “What publicity stunt did I pull on Liam?” Amanda demanded defensively.

  “I didn’t say you did yet,” Connor said, enunciating each of his words as if she were an idiot. “But I have a feeling you’re going to at some point considering the stunt you pulled to keep your job here. Offering Wendy’s money to your ex-boyfriend so he’d play the villain for you?” Connor let himself nod as he lifted his eyebrows. “That was good. And you know what, I have to give it you — you’re smart. Or I should say cunning. And there’s something very impressively manipulative about you that helps you keep people like Wendy and Liam so close.” He tilted his head to the side, giving a disparaging laugh. “Then again it’s a little less impressive than what you do to Liam, considering Angie was a fan of the withholding too.”

  “Withholding?” Amanda repeated, though she hardly wanted the confirmation of what she suspected Connor was referring to. Her stomach turning, she felt her teeth grind as he spoke.

  “You kept him on a tight leash by refusing to have sex. I’m guessing his weird fascination with you had a lot to do with the fact that he hadn’t gotten you in bed yet.”

  Amanda’s fingers curled into fists. The heat in her body had risen to the point of feeling ice cold. Doing her best not to reach out and pummel Connor like she wanted to, Amanda stood frozen, her lips barely moving as she spoke between her teeth. “I did not withhold sex to keep Liam interested,” she said, her fury white-hot. “It wasn’t even… withholding, I was just…” Insecure and scared and inexperienced but I sure as hell won’t try to tell you that.

  “Whatever, Amanda. I know what you’re going to do, you’re going to go into the innocent, wide-eyed thing with me but I’ll save you the act — I’m sure you’ll have to use it on Tom when you go back in there later,” Connor said, heading for the door. Pausing with his hand on the knob, he laughed. “Fuck it, maybe you’ve played that part for so long that you actually believe it. But I can tell you that you’re as ruthless as anyone else in this business and it’s just a matter of time before you use someone up and toss them to the side when you’re done. I just sure as shit won’t let it be my best friend because I’ve seen him through everything he fought through to get here and he shouldn’t have to fight anymore.”

  Feeling suddenly exhausted, Amanda leaned against the table in the room, barely trying to argue with Connor anymore. “I would never hurt Liam. I love him.”

  “Whatever you say,” Connor shrugged, equally tired. “I at least have the comfort of knowing you’ll be canned from Leadoff before your fake breakup with Liam ends. You’ll be back in Missouri soon,” he muttered before walking out and shutting the door.

  GET READY FOR THE SIDE-BY-SIDE LIVE-TWEETING OF THE LEADOFF AND LEGACY PREMIERE PARTIES!

  Pop Rock Gossip

  September 13th

  Posted by Jessie O.

  Remember my friend, Bitty (not her real name), who guest posted for me the week I was mourning the death of Liamanda? Well, it just so happens that Bitty has spent the past two years toiling in the background at Roebling-Hunter, one of New York’s top PR firms. And since Roebling-Hunter represents just about every actor in Leadoff, including the two stars, newcomer Kyle Laurie (Milo) and Hollywood vet Zoe Mercury (Milo’s girlfriend, Gina), Bitty got handed a VIP pass to the show’s premiere party tonight at The Bowery’s swanky new hotel, Metropolis.

  Lucky for me, Bitty is a terrible person and hates Amanda Nathan and anything that has to do with her, so I get to go to Leadoff’s big three-episode screening tonight. No need to cry for Bitty though — she scored herself a plus-one pass for Legacy’s premiere party, which is also a three-episode screening being held tonight but at The Strathorne because apparently these shows are hell-bent on drawing comparisons to one another.

  Well, if they want comparisons, they’re going to get comparisons. Like, actual side-by-side tweet comparisons. So prepare your popcorn and get ready for tomorrow night’s side-by-side live-tweeting of the Leadoff and Legacy premiere parties — hope you’re excited as Bitty and me!

  Chapter 16

  Amanda stared blankly into her reflection in the lit mirror, letting the stylist comb and pull her hair and head in whatever direction she so pleased. Her dead eyes actually made her laugh, though not visibly or audibly. It was just funny to think about the fact that six months was apparently all it took to get sick of big celebrity parties. Earlier in the year, the idea of getting dolled up for a red carpet still put butterflies in her stomach.

  Tonight, there were none. She had let Wendy come to her apartment to dress her particularly unenthusiastic self before sending her off to do hair and makeup with Harper, in hopes of “pepping you up with some girl time.” But the pep had yet to make its appearance — though perhaps because Leadoff didn’t feel like anything worth celebrating. The show had yet to premiere and it was already failing. Her boss was tired, exhausted and finally showing his age in the industry. Her coworkers hated her.

  And worst of all, Casey Mulreed was already winning whatever game she’d challenged Amanda to. Of course she’s winning, Amanda thought dully as her stylist blew out her straight hair with a large, round brush. She’s been in Hollywood for a decade-and-a-half longer than I have. This game has been hers since she was a teenager.

  “Amanda.”

  Harper’s voice of protest came from the chair to her right.

  “Amanda.”

  Ian’s voice came from behind her. Blinking, Amanda looked at him through the mirror. “Sorry. What?”

  “Stop feeling guilty about me,” Ian said. “You’re not, are you?”

  Actually, I wasn’t. “No… not really,” Amanda answered.

  “Good, because I feel bad enough about leaving him alone tonight,” Harper said. “I just have to be there for Zoe,”
she explained, referring to Zoe Mercury, who played the role of Milo’s love interest in Leadoff.

  “Harper,” Ian frowned. “She’s your best friend, don’t feel bad. You have to support her.”

  Yup, because best friends have unbreakable bonds and have to support each other and all that, Amanda reminded herself bitterly while looking down at the surprise text that Liam had sent about an hour ago.

  I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll be at your premiere tonight as Connor’s date.

  The text had probably been meant to make her laugh but after her day at work yesterday, the thought of Connor only made Amanda want to throw things. The thought of being at the same event as Liam and being unable to talk to him while Connor got to gab away made her want to punch the onyx wall in Harper’s vanity room. She wanted desperately to be near him, to tell him about work, about the strange man in the green cap, about all the things bothering her that she couldn’t word eloquently in a text message.

  And more than anything, she wanted to fall asleep in the same bed as him again.

  “True, Zoe would kill me if I didn’t at least make an appearance. Especially since she gets so bored at these parties,” Harper agreed as she examined her hair, which she wore straight, down and dramatically slicked back. She smiled her thanks to her stylist. “Good thing Amanda and I’ll be leaving early to come hang out with you, Ian — right, Amanda?”

  Amanda fluttered her fake lashes. She didn’t even know when the stylist had put them on. “Sure. Definitely.” There was essentially no one worth staying at the after party for considering she was banned from going near Liam.

  “And we’re going to ease Ian back into the swing of going out at night, right?” Harper asked brightly with a clap of the hands, like a preschool teacher trying to pep up a class of small children.

  “Yes,” Amanda and Ian answered in unison.

  “Perfect,” Harper beamed, an excited lilt in her voice that Amanda had never heard before. “It’s going to be a good night,” she breathed, reaching behind her so Ian could take her hand. “I can just feel the good energy.”