Loyalty

by L. P. Maxa

  “Where do you want it?” He sat down on a stool, rolling over to a large mirror and gesturing for me to follow him.

  “Here.” I pointed along the ribs on my right side, dragging my finger to curve around to under my breast. “Kind of wrapping around.” I figured it was an all-around good spot. Easily concealable, and also poetically near my heart.

  He nodded. “Okay, we’ll need to lose the bra and then we can pin your shirt in place, it’s loose enough.”

  Score one for Katie. I picked the right tattoo attire after all. I was wearing cutoff shorts, a vintage Mason Maxwell concert tee, and Chucks. The tee had belonged to my mom, and it was soft and perfectly faded. I spun around, putting my back to Cash and Waylon, removing my bra from under my shirt, then quickly stuffing it in my purse. Cash had seen and felt me naked last night. But it was an odd setting, broad daylight with another person in the room.

  “I want you to lift your shirt, and I’m going to clamp it.” Waylon grabbed some giant chip-clip-looking contraptions and made them snap like alligator teeth. “Then I want you to stand straight and tall while I place the copy.” He held up the transfer paper of the song lyric I’d given him. “This font work?” It was long and scrolling, but not girly.

  “Yes. Perfect.”

  “Is it all spelled correctly?” I leaned down, scrutinizing each and every word until my eyes went blurry. When I nodded, he gestured toward the mirror. “Okay real straight and tall. Your arms out from your side.” After I was in position, he wheeled next to me on his little stool. He placed the paper, smoothing it over and then peeling it back. “That look good?” He pushed off, wheeling away. “Cash, come over and check it too.”

  Cash had been standing behind me the whole time, his eyes watchful. Every time I glanced his way in the mirror, his gaze had been on mine. He was quiet, but I could feel his presence all the way down to my toes. He stepped up, putting his hands on my shoulders and turning me a little, assessing the tattoo placement for himself.

  He smiled then nodded. “I think it’s perfect.”

  Waylon patted the long leather table bed thing. “Hop up here, kiddo. Lay on your side and raise your arm above your head.” He went to the sink and washed his hands. Twice. “This won’t take too long at all.”

  I lay down and Cash pulled up a chair, sitting where I could see his face. “You nervous?”

  I shook my head. “I’m actually not.” I pursed my lips. “Which is surprising, right? I’ve never done anything like this. I’ve never…well, I never.” I was pretty sure I never summed up my life until I’d met Cash. Until I’d been banished to the Devil’s Share compound for safekeeping. My father would stroke out if he could see me right now.

  “It’s not surprising, Katie Baby.” Cash reached out and cupped my cheek. “You take to rebellion like a fish to water.” His narrowed his eyes, a smile on his face. “I think you’ve always been a wild one. You only needed a nudge.”

  I snorted. “You mean an accomplice?”

  He leaned down, kissing my lips and then whispering softly. “I’ll break the rules with you as long as you want me to, baby.”

  Chills broke out on my skin. I took in a deep breath, drawing in his cologne. I wanted him to stay, to keep kissing me. But I heard Waylon firing up the tattoo gun behind me. You’ve always been a wild one. That was similar to what my Uncle Pax had said before I’d left to tour with my dad. You were born with a wild heart and an old soul. I didn’t see myself the way they saw me, but I wish I did.

  ***

  “So, tell me about the Eagles lyric. I heard you telling your friend here that you listened to the album all the time growing up.” I felt his hands rest on my skin and I closed my eyes, inhaling through my nose. Not nervous, simply getting prepared. “But why this song?” The gun made that crazy buzzing sound again and Waylon stretched my skin. “You talk, I’ll tat.”

  When the gun came in contact with my skin, I clenched my teeth. It was uncomfortable, but not overwhelming. Completely manageable. “My biological parents passed away minutes before I was born. I was raised by my brother, who’s really been my dad my whole life. He and my mom have been together since I was an infant. She was a friend of his, and the NICU nurse who took care of me.” Waylon repositioned his hand, and started again. “My dad, uh, my brother…” I laughed without moving. “This is odd to explain out loud.”

  “Nah, I follow you. You’re doing great.”

  “It’s easier if I describe everyone the way my little brother does. He never sounds like a Lifetime movie when he talks about our family.” I liked Waylon. He reminded me of my Uncle Park to some extent. “My dad, and my grandpa, they were really close. From what my uncles tell me, it hit my dad pretty hard when they passed away. He and my mom, they talk about them all the time. They told us stories and kept pictures up. In a way, I felt like I knew my grandparents, even though all I have is stories, old interviews and movies my grandpa did.” I swallowed, closing my eyes again when he started moving over a sensitive spot. I felt Cash take my hand and I smiled. “I love them. I never met them, but there is a place in my heart that is only for them.”

  “Well, I already approved of your choice.” Waylon chuckled. “But now? I think it’s fucking incredible.”

  I went silent, my mind on the family I’d never meet. Sometimes when things got rough, when I felt stifled and on edge, I’d talk to them in my head. I’d tell them how I was feeling and what I was going through. I felt like they heard me, and I was always calmer afterward. Sometimes I wondered what my life would have been like if they’d lived.

  “Okay, we’re all done.” He used a spray bottle, cold liquid coating my skin. Then a paper towel followed by something that felt a lot like ointment. “Take a look.”

  Cash helped me to my feet and I went and stood in front of the mirror. I turned to him, a huge smile on my flushed face. “You like it?”

  He nodded, kissing my shoulder. “I love it.”

  “Thank you so much.” I spun around, laughing lightly. “You’re my favorite tattoo artist.”

  “My pleasure.” Waylon rolled over on his cart, covering my new ink with saran wrap.

  “How do I pay?” I reached for my purse, opening it and searching for my wallet.

  “No, I want to pay.” Cash held out a credit card. “My add on the list, my treat.” He winked.

  “Actually, it’s on the house.” Waylon stood, his hands on his hips. “Katie, I used to tattoo your dad—your biological dad.” My jaw pretty much dropped to the floor as he continued. “It wasn’t long before you were born, actually, the last time I saw him. He was here on business and I closed the shop for the day to accommodate him.” He ducked back behind the counter, and grabbed a framed picture I hadn’t noticed earlier then handed it to me. It was him and my dad, shaking hands.

  “Oh wow.” I traced my dad’s face with my fingertip, a tear rolling down my cheek. I cleared my throat. “What did he, uh, what did he get?”

  Waylon grabbed a tablet off the desk, scrolling through pictures. “Your heartbeat.” He turned it around and showed me. “Right on his ribs.” It was one of those lines from an EKG machine, must have come from one of my ultrasounds. “He talked about you and your brother— uh, your dad.” He chuckled. “You’re right, it’s not easy when you try to put it into words. Johnny was a good guy. All his tattoos meant a lot to him.”

  I put the tablet down and threw my arms around Waylon’s waist. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

  He hugged me back then put his hands on my shoulders, moving me to arm’s length. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He laughed lightly. “You thought you were rebelling. The truth was, your dad said when his little girl was ready for her first piece, he’d bring her here to me.” He wiped at one of the tears trailing down my face. “Don’t cry, kiddo, he wouldn’t want that, not today.”

  Cash had made everything perfect. Every first was an amazing memory because of him. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to thank him eno
ugh for today. For giving me a piece of my family, a piece that was only mine. This wasn’t a story passed down from my parents; this wasn’t an old magazine article I’d read. This was real life. This was an actual moment in time where I was connected to the man who gave me life.

  And that was more special than anything I’d ever had.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cash

  We were back in my truck, headed home. I glanced at our hands, the way they were joined on the console. I wanted to find a back road and take her parking. Seeing her skin on display for the last hour, it nearly killed me. I wanted to touch it all, I wanted to trail my fingertips from her ribs to her hip. I now knew what she felt like when she came apart, and since then it was all I could think about. I kissed her hand lightly when what I really wanted to tug her into my lap.

  “Did you know? That Revival Ink was where my dad went when he wanted work done?”

  I shook my head. “No. It’s where my dad and all the uncles get most of their work done.” The fact that Waylon had tattooed Katie’s bio dad, that showed how well the universe worked sometimes.

  “Thank you for taking me there. It, uh, meeting Waylon really meant a lot to me.”

  “I’m glad, baby.” I kissed her hand again. “How does it feel? Hurt?”

  “Nah, not really.” She looked down at the floor by her feet. “I might have to go braless for the next week or so.”

  I squeezed her palm. I was horny. Katie spending the rest of the week braless? Not gonna help my situation. I wanted to go at her pace when it came to the physical stuff. I wanted her to lead. When I’d suggested skinny-dipping last night, I fully intended to stay on the other side of the pool with my eyes closed the whole time. I wanted it to be something she could say she did, and I wanted her to have a safe space to do it. She’d wanted more, and I’d been more than happy to give it to her. And I’d be happy to give to her again and again and again.

  My phone started to ring, coming through the speakers of the truck. Benson’s name was on the screen, I needed the distraction so I hit accept.

  “Hey, fucker.”

  Maybe talking to him on surround sound hadn’t been my best idea. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

  “I’m working my skinny ass off today with my dad, we’re working calves.” He paused before saying, “I’m having a party tonight, out in the back pasture, you in?”

  I looked to Katie, grinning. “What do you say, baby, ready for a pasture party?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Is that on my list?”

  “No, but I think making out in a truck is.” I winked. “We could mark that one off real easy.”

  “Katie? Wait. You’re hooking up with the hot chick from the other night? The one who knew all the words to my favorite song? What the fuck, man?”

  I chuckled. “You’re on speaker phone, bro.”

  “Oh.” Short pause. “Hey, Katie.”

  “Hi, Benson, thanks for inviting us to your party.” She bit her lip, her action making me want to kiss her mouth desperately.

  “No problem. I’ll see y’all tonight.”

  I hung up before he could say anything else inappropriate. Katie turned in her seat, propping her arms on the center console. It was a habit of hers I’d noticed, anytime she was about to make a point or say something sassy. “Maybe you could tip over one of those calves? I bet you’re strong enough to handle a baby cow.”

  “You’re a funny girl, you know that?”

  “I wasn’t kidding.”

  We pulled into the compound and I drove to my house instead of her temporary one. Crue’s truck was in the driveway, so I was assuming he and Avory were probably holed up in the media room. “Let’s go see what my asshole of a twin is doing, let him know about Benson’s party.”

  We walked into the house hand in hand, like a couple. I was smiling, like a moron. My parents were nowhere to be found, which wasn’t surprising. But I felt almost disappointed by the fact. I wanted them to see me with Katie. I wanted them to get to know her. I wanted them to see how happy I was, how into her I was. I couldn’t really explain it; it wasn’t something I’d ever experienced before. It was almost like I wanted their acceptance? Maybe their blessing?

  As we headed through the house in search of my brother, I started to wonder if he ever wanted the same thing. Did he ever wish he could tell them? Did he ever long for them to see him holding Avory’s hand and smile? Not telling the adults about their relationship was all on Crue and Avory; that was a situation of their own making. But for a brief moment in time, I felt a little sorry for them. Only a little.

  “Crue. Where you at, man?”

  I heard a giggle and took a right; they were in the guest room. Sometimes they hung out there, because there was no real reason anyone would go in that space to look for them. I banged on the door three times then started to count.

  “What are we doing?” Katie’s hand was still in mine and her arm was pressed against my body. She was whispering even though I’d pounded on the door loud enough to wake the dead.

  “We’re giving them time to put clothes on.” I sighed. “Always give them the time. Always.” I finished counting in my head and then threw the door open. “Hey, Benson’s having a pasture party tonight. You guys in?” They were sitting on top of the covers, Crue’s pants were undone and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Avory’s sundress appeared to be on backward. Pretty par for the course for a thirty-second countdown.

  “Sure.” Crue leaned back on the mountain of throw pillows. “Y’all want to do dinner first? We can hit up the diner in town then head back this way to Benson’s.”

  I was a little shocked to be honest. I’d spent time with Crue and Avory nearly every day; we shared most meals. But if we ever went into town to eat it was with a big group. What Crue was suggesting was basically a double date. I looked over at Katie, silently asking if she was good with that plan.

  “That sounds fun.” She answered on her own, leaning her head against my arm.

  Crue smiled, tight lipped, and then shooed us with his hand. “Great. We’ll meet you in the living room, around seven.”

  I stood my ground, staring at him. Jacking with Crue when he wanted to be alone with Avory was one of my favorite pastimes. Somewhere over the last two years, I’d forgotten that. It took about forty-five seconds for him to lose his cool. He grabbed a pillow from behind his head and threw it at me. I let it fall to the floor and kept staring.

  “What are we doing?” Katie whispered the same question from earlier.

  “Jacking with Crue.” I whispered back.

  She stood up straighter, like she was joining forces with me. “Okay.”

  Avory started to giggle and Crue lay back down on the bed covering his face with his hands. “I’m about to take my pants back off and get back to what I was doing before you two walked in here. So. You can leave, or you can watch.” He hooked an arm around Avory, pulling her back down beside him.

  I snorted and left the room, bringing Katie with me before she got an eyeful of my brother’s dick. We shut the door and then stepped into my room, three doors down on the right. “Are you hungry? You want lunch?”

  I sat down on the edge of my bed, taking both her hands in mine and bringing her closer to me. Her eyes were busy, darting around the space and taking everything in. Other than my family, I’d never had a girl in my room. I didn’t think it was anything special: baseball trophies, letterman jacket, framed pictures of me and the people I loved. “I want to take a nap.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “A nap? That was definitely not one of the things I was expecting you to say.”

  She joined me on the mattress, toeing off her shoes and tucking her legs underneath her. “I thought about adding it to the list, but I didn’t want you to think I was lamer than you already do.”

  “How many time do I have to tell you? You aren’t lame. You aren’t boring. You aren’t naïve. You aren’t any of the things you think you are, baby.” I turned fully toward her, t
aking her gorgeous face in my hands. “You are everything amazing.” I kissed the corner of her mouth then pulled back. “And if you want to nap, I’ll nap with you.” All in all, a nap did sound pretty nice.

  “I’ve never slept with a guy, like just slept. I’ve never, uh, spooned, I guess.” She scooted back on the bed, laying her head back on my pillows.

  I kicked off my shoes and crawled up toward her. “The only person I’ve spooned is Halen.”

  “The only person you’ve spooned is your cousin.” She didn’t pose it like a question, but I got what she was saying.

  And I felt like maybe my statement did deserve a little more explanation. “When Beau left, Halen was in a really bad place.” I lay down next to Katie; we were facing each other and her eyes were homed in on mine. It was making it hard to think clearly. “Of course, none of the parents knew what was going on. I didn’t want her to be alone, so at night I’d crawl in her window and watch TV with her. Or hold her while she cried. Sometimes we fell asleep like that.”

  “You’re a really good guy, Cash Matthews.” Katie reached out and traced the lines on my face. “Your family is lucky to have you.” She smiled. “I’m lucky to have been banished to this odd little compound for safekeeping.”

  I kissed the tip of her nose, and then motioned for her to flip. When she was settled, I pulled her body against mine, and, burying my face in her neck, I whispered, “I’ll keep you safe, Katie Baby.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Katie

  I woke up completely wrapped in Cash’s arms. His body was pressed against my back, from his chest to his toned thighs. I took a deep breath, inhaling everything Cash. His room, his sheets, his pillows; they all smelled like him, like this was where he put on his cologne every day. There was a clock on the nightstand, right in my line of sight. The time read 6:00 in retro red digital numbers. We’d slept for almost three hours.

  “You awake?” Cash pressed his lips to the back of my neck.

  “Yeah.” I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. “I can’t believe we slept that long.” I rolled over onto my back and Cash threw his leg over my thighs and his arm over my middle. “I take it you aren’t ready to get out of bed?”