Truly Sweet

by Candis Terry

  “They give everyone basic medical training in the Marines. You never know when it might come in handy.”

  Annie bit her lip to keep from saying, Like the day you had to use a tourniquet and rescue yourself so you could make it back home?

  “You ever think of going into the medical field?” she asked instead.

  “Never entered my mind. I always thought I’d retire a soldier.”

  “You should give it some thought, Jake. You have a nice touch.”

  His head came up, and those dark blue eyes bored right into hers. “What kind of thought?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Maybe you could be a paramedic.”

  For a moment, he searched her face, then he frowned. “Thought you were going to say I should become a doctor.”

  “You could if you wanted to.”

  A chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. “Like you don’t have enough doctors sniffing around you already?”

  She knew he was referring to Bo Jennings. But this conversation wasn’t about Bo. She didn’t give a rat’s patooty about Bo. But Jake? He was everything.

  “Is that what you’re doing here, Jake? Sniffing around?”

  Refocusing on her hand, he lightly tapped the ends of the bandage in place. “I don’t sniff unless there’s a really good barbecue on the grill.”

  “Then what are you doing here?”

  His long pause gave her heart a ridiculously hopeful nudge.

  “If you’ll remember, my mom said I should come help you.”

  “I also remember your saying you didn’t wear aprons.” She couldn’t help the taunt that brushed her lips.

  “I don’t. Yours looks good on you, though.”

  “Aw, gee. Thanks. You do say the sweetest things to a woman.”

  “Can I be honest with you?” he asked.

  “Aren’t you always? And usually brutally so?”

  “I never realized you were a woman.”

  She choked on a laugh of surprise. “Excuse me?”

  “Inside my head . . .” He pointed, just in case she didn’t know what a head looked like. “Inside my memories? You were always a little girl, like Izzy. Just a little girl, skipping around, getting into trouble, and mouthing off. I never noticed you’d turned into a woman.”

  Though the comprehension of the way he viewed her stung like the burn on her hand, she gave his broad chest beneath that worn-out gray Marines T-shirt an understanding pat with her unburned hand. “I know. But it happens to the best of us female types.”

  His big hand came up and captured hers against his chest.

  “Annie?”

  “Yeah?”

  His gaze slowly traveled over her face, down to her lips, then back up to her eyes. “I’m noticing now.”

  Beneath their clasped hands, Jake’s heart pounded.

  What the hell was he doing?

  Thinking?

  This was Annie.

  She’d been like a little sister to him most of his life. She was a great big pain in the ass. Okay, maybe she leaned more toward petite and curvy with a backside that completely rocked a tight pair of jeans. And she was definitely delectable with the sweet scent of chocolate and warm woman that rolled off her like some kind of double-dipped aphrodisiac.

  But this was Annie.

  Annie, for Christ’s sake!

  Thank God her eyes were looking up at him and not down to the zipper on his jeans. Or she’d figure out pretty damned fast just how much he really did notice.

  She sighed, and he pressed his lips together to keep from kissing her.

  “I guess when someone is toting a one-year-old around on her hip all the time, it’s hard not to notice the change.”

  Yeah. Not even close to what he’d been talking about, but he grabbed her misunderstanding like a life preserver.

  Gently, he squeezed her hand then let go. “No doubt Max is a pretty big boy.”

  “And getting bigger every day. Imagine carrying all of that big baby around inside you.” She turned away to grab the glove from the sink and dump it in the trash. “I guess I was surprised when Max came out so solid and stocky. His sperm donor was tall and lanky.”

  “Sperm donor?” Jake noted when she came back around that her expression was anything but apologetic. “Is that what you’re going to call him when you tell Max about him?”

  “I have a long time before I need to worry about what I’m going to tell him.” She shrugged those slim shoulders. “By then, I should have figured something out. Because telling him the truth, while it might be the right thing to do, would just be heartbreaking for him. It’s my hope that when the time comes, I’ll be married to someone wonderful, and Max will be such a happy, well-adjusted kid, he’ll never need to ask.”

  The idea of Annie’s being married was like another shot to the gut. Of course she’d want to get married someday. Find a man who’d be a good father to Max. Why should that surprise him?

  And why the hell should it bother him?

  “Maybe you should try to get Max’s father involved in his life early on. It’s always better to work things out or get the truth out before they ask. Look at Reno. He was five when Mom and Dad got custody of him. They could have kept a lot of the sordid facts to themselves about his mother’s drug addiction and the way she abandoned him. Instead, they gave him the information they thought he could comprehend, then they kept that door open in case he wanted to ask further questions. He never did because—”

  “He was a happy, well-adjusted kid after he came to live with your family.”

  “Yeah.” Jake did a mental shake of his head. Annie knew so much about him, about his family. It was like she could effortlessly slide in and out of the collective members. Or like she was a special ingredient that mixed right into the big pot of crazy soup they all created.

  “Thanks for your concern,” she said. “But involving my ex in Max’s life isn’t going to happen.”

  “You don’t think he’ll eventually come around?”

  “I have higher hopes that flying cars will be invented.” She shook her head. “Sorry. My doubt really has nothing to do with Max. Because he’s an adorable little boy if I must say so myself.”

  “He is. So I’m not following your reason. Why wouldn’t a man want to claim his son?”

  “I guess you’d have to be a man who cared to answer that.” She waved her nonburned hand. “Never mind. It’s a long story. And I’m sure you’re not really interested.”

  “Would you be surprised if I said I was?”

  “Yes.” She laughed. “Very.”

  He captured her hand midair and held it against his chest. “Well, bring out the party favors because I’m interested.”

  Her hand slipped from his grasp, and she took a step back. Jake was unsure if the retreat was because of their close proximity or the subject matter. “Not something you normally like to discuss?” he asked.

  “More like I don’t care to admit what a complete loser I was by being in that relationship in the first place.” She grabbed some paper towels and began wiping drips of chocolate from the counter with the hand that was burned.

  The task looked painful and awkward, so he took the paper towel and did the job for her. “I don’t think you’re a loser.”

  “Seriously? Because in my mind, I get to wear the crown and be their queen.” She shook her head. “At the time, I thought I was so smart, being all mature and everything by packing up and running away from here. I never imagined I’d be making the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “We all make mistakes.”

  “Yeah, but not usually ones that drive you almost two thousand miles away from everyone and everything you’ve ever known just to prove a point.”

  He tossed the paper towel in the trash, leaned his backside against the counter, and fold
ed his arms. “And what point was that?”

  “That I didn’t need anyone. That I could make it on my own. That I didn’t care if . . . my parents had repeatedly abandoned me my entire life.”

  Most of the thoughtful conversations he and Annie shared over the years involved her parents’ style of child rearing. Which wasn’t much. Mostly, her parents were absentee. Abby, as her big sister, had carried a lot of the parenting load. Annie’s way to deal with her parents’ blatant disregard had been quiet consternation. When she finally rebelled, she’d done it in a big way.

  “But you did care,” he said. “Even I knew that.”

  Her eyes snapped up like he’d surprised her. Again.

  “Of course I cared. I still do,” she admitted. “I was just a full-blown idiot at the time. Little did I know that moving so far away wouldn’t eliminate the hurt but only add to it.”

  “Don’t get flustered. I’m only asking because I care. And I’m interested. So how about you tell me the whole story so I understand.”

  Her slim shoulders lifted and dropped like the weight of the world had been parked there for a while. “Once I got to Seattle, I had all these big ideas. Big plans. I must have had a crack in my head that let all the good brain cells seep out because being a candy maker in Austin did not prepare me for the outside world.”

  “I guess dipping chocolates isn’t the same as pushing papers or working on a computer?”

  “No. And after almost a year of not being able to land a job other than waitressing, and sharing my cheap and cheaply furnished apartment with nothing but a begonia named Bernice, I realized the true meaning of pie in the sky. There was no reward coming for me because I’d taken a stand and moved away. Plus, I was so lonely, I couldn’t see straight. I mean . . . really? I was talking to a plant that didn’t even have the heart to bloom. About a year and a half after I moved to Seattle, I met . . . Doug.”

  “Doug? Like that sweater-vest-wearing little cartoon dude?”

  “You sure know a lot about cartoons.”

  “I watch them with Izzy.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I swear . . .” He raised his hand. “I never watch them alone because I’m bored and there’s nothing else on TV.”

  “No need to explain. You’re talking to a girl who knows you worshipped the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles until you were thirteen, when someone mercifully yanked them off the airwaves.” The corners of her pretty mouth kicked upward.

  “They’re popular again, you know.”

  “And you would know this how?” Her head tilted, and her ponytail swayed.

  “From the commercials I see when I watch Nickelodeon with Izzy.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “So . . .” He grinned, even though his secret cartoon-watching fascination had been outed. “Back to Doug.”

  “Must we?”

  “Not if it makes you feel bad.”

  “Actually, I’m numb to it.”

  “Liar.”

  “Fine.” She wrinkled her cute nose. “Where was I?”

  “Meeting Doug.”

  “Right. Well, he and his band came into the restaurant where I worked after they’d played a gig at Neumos. They were a fun and animated bunch, and before they left, Doug asked for my number. A couple weeks later, he moved in, and Bernice the Begonia got pushed aside for guitar cases and amps.” She looked up at the ceiling and sighed loudly. “I was so happy for someone to talk to that it took me a while—two years to be exact—to realize I was still paying all the rent, as well as stocking the cupboards and refrigerator, and paying the utility bills. Basically, I supported his musical dream while I balanced plates of greasy burgers.”

  “He never supported you on anything? Not even getting a better job or going back to school?”

  “Emotional equality is not in his blood.”

  “What a dick.”

  “Yeah. But really, I had no one to blame but myself. People can’t use you as a doormat unless you allow them to, right?”

  “Just because a person is lonely doesn’t give someone the right to take advantage.”

  “Maybe.” She shrugged. “But even in my blinded state of reality, I should have realized I needed to focus on myself just a little. Maybe take some community-college classes or something. But I didn’t. I was too busy supporting him. And to be honest, at the time, I was afraid if I didn’t support him, he would leave.”

  “Not much of a man if he put all that pressure on you.”

  “Tell me about it. And just so you know, I never tried to cut Doug out of Max’s life. He made that decision himself the minute I told him I was pregnant. And he did it while I had my head hanging over the toilet because the morning sickness was so bad. When I came out of that bathroom with a cold, wet washcloth pressed to my forehead because I felt like I would pass out, he was gone. How he packed up his shit and got out of there so fast I’ll never know. But he did. After that, he never sent me a forwarding address or took my calls. It would have been easy enough to find him, but after being tossed aside like a bag of trash, I honestly didn’t want to.”

  “You’re a good person, Annie. Unfortunately, you just got tangled up with a complete asshole.”

  “I appreciate the sentiment. And I agree. But that really doesn’t erase the situation. Or the lingering questions.”

  “Questions?”

  She looked down at the floor, then pressed her finger to a nonexistent piece of something on the counter and flicked it in the sink. She looked everywhere but at him. Finally, he tucked his fingers beneath her chin and forced her to look up. There was sadness in her eyes. Doubt. And self-reproach.

  “Annie, tell me. Please?”

  Each tick of the clock on her hesitation felt like a hot poker to his heart.

  “It doesn’t stop me from asking why everyone leaves me? What did I do that was so bad it makes them not want to stay?”

  Her words crushed him.

  Completely.

  No one deserved to feel that way. Especially not when they tried so hard.

  He’d never been good at finding the right words to say, which was just only one of the reasons he’d yet to contact Eli’s wife. If Doug were around, Jake wouldn’t hesitate to take him to task. But for all he knew, he’d never come face-to-face with the man. So in that moment all Jake could do was reach out and draw Annie into his arms.

  For a long moment, they stood together—heart to heart. His arms around her, offering silent comfort. Her arms around him, accepting solace. She never allowed any tears to fall, but they still dampened a little place on his shirt, right next to where his heart pumped with admiration and something else he couldn’t quite name.

  Eventually, she backed away, trying to look calm and cool. “Now you know . . . why I’ll never try to involve Doug in Max’s life. If he truly wanted to be included, I wouldn’t refuse. For Max’s sake. But Doug only sees what’s in it for him. And Max isn’t even on his radar. The only thing he can see is the next gig, the sparkle of a big record deal, and whatever stupid girl he can charm into taking care of him so he can follow his dream.”

  “I’m really sorry he treated you so badly.”

  “It’s okay. Really,” she said. “Imagine if he’d stuck around? He’d have been miserable. Both Max and I would have been miserable. Life would have sucked. At least this way, Max and I have a chance at happiness.”

  The word happiness rang like an endless echo through Jake’s heart. Not everyone would find it in their lifetime. Some of that was his fault. But tonight, he’d try to push aside his demons and accomplish what he’d originally come here for.

  “So . . . thanks. For this.” She held up her bandaged hand and gave him a sweet smile. “And the compassion. Although I imagine that’s way more than what you bargained for. I wouldn’t blame you if you hit the door running.”

 
“Not all men leave, Annie. And I’m staying put.” Once the words were out of his mouth, even he wasn’t sure what they meant as far as he was involved. So before she tilted her head in that cute way that made him want to cup her face between his hands and kiss her senseless, he glanced around the kitchen at all the pans, molds, and the now-congealed chocolate. “So how about I give you a hand here?”

  “You’re kidding.” Eyes wide, her head went back. “You really want to help?”

  “Unless you can think of another damsel in distress who could use my talents . . .” He held up his hands. “I’m all yours.”

  One sleek brow lifted as she smiled. “And you’ll wear an apron?”

  “Only if you insist and promise not to sneak photos or tell those jackasses I’m related to.”

  She promised.

  For the rest of the day and into the night he battled dipping the perfect chocolate truffle, eating too many, and trying to keep his hands on the candy and not on Annie.

  When Annie closed the door after watching Jake walk out to his truck, she was still shaking off the surprise of his visit. Not really being a kitcheny kind of guy, his offer to help make chocolates had floored her. Running as far behind as she had been, she’d been happy for his help and the company.

  At first it felt strange telling him about her life in Seattle and her relationship with Doug. When he came home last year for Jackson and Abby’s wedding, he didn’t seem all that interested in her wretched life. Then he’d been all about a wink, a grin, and having a good time. Even though she didn’t like to bring up her past, somehow Jake had managed to get her to talk, then he relieved the embarrassment she usually carted around.

  He didn’t make her feel like she’d been irrational when she’d gone in search of a new life. He didn’t laugh, point fingers because she’d gotten involved with such a loser, or offer unwanted advice on how to raise her son. Instead, he’d held her in his arms and offered comfort. A safe place. He’d listened. And he’d agreed that Max was an amazing little boy—which was something her son’s own father had failed to do.

  Remarkably, it had felt good telling him about what had happened. Much like the old times when they’d sit in the hayloft and talk for hours. The man who’d shown up not only to lend her a hand in the kitchen, and who’d also rescued her burned hand, seemed very much like the Jake she used to know. And while she didn’t want to be some kind of charity case who only used his gorgeous broad shoulders to cry on, she did appreciate his genuine compassion.