by Helen Juliet
Fynn frowned and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “What ticks?” he asked.
Nicholas might not have believed he didn’t know what the grey and blue ticks meant, if he hadn’t spent the last week with him. He let out an exasperated sigh, and watched on fondly as Fynn read his correspondence.
“Oh darling,” he said, looking up. “I’m sorry.” He kissed him. “Of course I couldn’t leave without clearing things up with you,” he murmured against his lips.
Nicholas felt flush with happiness. “You don’t have to leave at all, you know?” he offered, a ball of butterflies in his stomach. He still couldn’t believe that someone like Fynn would want to hang around with him. But the evidence was mounting up, and unless he wanted to get annoying, he needed to start accepting it. “You could stay? Um, maybe be my date?”
A smile slowly spread all the way over Fynn’s face, and he hugged him close. “I’d be honoured.” He reciprocated Nicholas’s ministrations by running his hands over his shirt and jacket, and tweaked the bow tie a little. “You look seriously hot, by the way,” he told him, a glint in his eye.
Nicholas tried not to preen too much, but then he figured, what the hell? “Thank you,” whispered, then tugged at Fynn’s hand. “So do you.”
Well, it would have been rude not to have a bit more kissing after that.
“Okay,” he said, once they’d calmed down again. “Are you ready to come face my crazy family?”
Fynn chuckled and let himself be pulled out the door. “I’ve already seen them,” he protested as they emerged into the hallway. Thankfully, no one was there. Nicholas was feeling brave, but not quite ready to face his grandma directly after a snogging session.
“Yeah,” he scoffed. “Seeing them and meeting them are two quite different things, I can assure you.”
The corridor remained empty as they made their way back to the hall. Nicholas realised why as they approached the doors into the main room; Clara and Peter had just started their first dance.
“Oh,” he said, and hurriedly tugged Fynn inside. He would have felt bad to have missed that.
They’d chosen an obscure song that Nicholas still couldn’t remember the name of. He did know it was from a film they both liked, and Nicholas edged around the guests clumped in a circle watching on until he could see.
Maybe it was because he, himself, was happy now, but he thought his sister looked especially radiant with joy as she gazed up at her new husband’s face. They swayed back and forth, talking to each other in words swallowed up by the music, and traded sweet kisses. Nicholas sighed and felt a lump rise in his throat. Danielle had been right about one thing: despite all the catastrophes, they’d made it in the end.
He felt Fynn standing behind him and shivered when he laid a hand on his hip. It was barely a touch at all, but to Nicholas it felt like a neon sign pointing above their heads: This one’s with me. He leant back into Fynn to show he felt the same way.
With a thrill, he thought how anyone looking their way would be able to see them and deduce they were together.
A couple. He couldn’t believe it.
He didn’t want to hide it. He remembered how scary it had been to come out to Ash, but then how relieved he’d felt afterwards. If Fynn was going to stay with him for the evening, he wasn’t going to shy away from showing what he meant to him in front of everyone. So as Clara nodded to Lauren for her and Franko to lead the couples in joining in the slow dance, he turned and looked at Fynn.
“Do you want to?” he asked.
Fynn raised his eyebrows. “Dance?” Nicholas nodded. “Well, yeah, I’d love to. But, are you sure? I thought you hadn’t come out yet.”
Nicholas shrugged. “I told Ash – after that night at the club actually.” He smiled at the memory. “But I don’t really feel like making a big deal of it, you know? Why have twenty conversations when nothing’s really changed? I’m still me. I just have you now, too.” He felt a warmth in his chest at the smile that put on Fynn’s face. “So, what do you say? Fancy a spin?”
Fynn held out his hand and Nicholas took it.
For all his confident words, even that simple act turned him into a bundle of nerves. As much as he wanted to believe that no one would have a problem, he couldn’t say for absolute sure how this was going to go down. He and Fynn didn’t move far into the throng; they stayed on the fringe as they turned to face each other. Nicholas thought he’d be hyper-aware of who was around them. But as soon as Fynn slipped his hands around his waist, Nicholas did likewise, and the rest of the room melted away.
There wasn’t much of the song left, but Nicholas was determined to make the most of his and Fynn’s official first dance together. He’d never really danced with any girls at school – he and his friends had always been too shy and awkward for that. But it felt so natural to rest his head on Fynn’s shoulder, their chests pressing together. He was immediately calmed, and if anyone was dropping their wine glasses in shock over the fact that Clara’s little brother was in fact homosexual, he had absolutely no idea.
The song changed to something a bit more up tempo, but a quick glance around showed other couples were still dancing together, so Nicholas pulled Fynn closer to him.
Fynn laughed. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised.
“Just making sure,” Nicholas mumbled back sheepishly. Fynn laughed again, and pecked a swift kiss on his temple.
People were definitely looking at them. It was hard not to notice. But from what he could see out of the corner of his eye, they didn’t seem hostile or disgusted. Mostly they just seemed curious, or surprised. It had come a bit out of blue, Nicholas had to concede. He hadn’t even known he was gay this time last week. So he tried not to feel like a specimen at the zoo and instead just focused on Fynn.
They weren’t doing anything complicated, just swaying back and forth, but Fynn was still guiding them. He had superior rhythm after all. Nicholas let himself be moved, not paying attention to anyone else until the song ended and they naturally stepped apart. Not too far though; Nicholas still kept hold of his hand.
When he turned, he was met by both his sisters.
By the looks of it, Clara had grabbed Lauren’s arm and dragged her across the dance floor. Now they were both standing in front of Nicholas and Fynn, barely-concealed glee on their faces.
“Hi,” said Nicholas tentatively.
“Hi,” they chirped back, and Clara dropped Lauren’s arm so she could offer her hand to Fynn.
“I’m Clara,” she said as Fynn accepted the shake.
He gave her a lopsided smile. “I know,” he said gently, letting her go. “You’re the bride.”
She frowned, as if that hadn’t occurred to her. “Oh, yeah. Well, you’re the guitarist, aren’t you?”
“I’m Lauren,” his other sister butted in. She grabbed his hand for her own shake. “I’m the one who lives in Italy. I guess you guys know each other, huh?”
Her fishing for information was painfully obvious, but Nicholas didn’t really mind, as they both seemed buzzing with excitement. It bolstered his confidence. “Um, yeah. Fynn is…”
He looked up at him, not sure what to say. Fynn raised his eyebrows. “…his boyfriend?” he offered.
Nicholas’s heart skipped a beat. Hearing it out loud was strange and exhilarating. “My boyfriend,” he confirmed, taking his hand again.
Clara squealed and threw her arms around a very startled Fynn. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
Lauren punched Nicholas on the arm. “You kept that very quiet,” she accused. But she wasn’t really bothered, he could tell. That was her way of asking how long – how long he’d known about his sexuality, how long they’d been together.
“It’s all very new,” he said, answering both queries in one. “I hope you don’t mind I invited him to stay for the evening.”
“Oh don’t be silly,” said Clara with a wave of her hand.
“Or that I’m not a harpist,” Fynn added with a wink towards Nicholas. He swatte
d his arm playfully.
“That’s how we met,” he explained. “Fynn saved the day.”
Clara was frowning again. “Oh yeah,” she said to Lauren. “It was supposed to be a harp for the dinner.” She shrugged. “I’d forgotten anyway. Thanks for playing Spice Girls I think my aunt was pretty horrified, but everyone else thought it was a riot.”
Sure enough, Nicholas looked over to the table Clara had nodded towards. Aunt Louise and Michelle were sat with their backs straight and shoulders tense and they sipped white wine and quite obviously regarded Nicholas and Fynn with unpleasant curves to their mouths. They were almost certainly discussing them. If he knew them like he thought he did, they were probably admonishing their vulgar public display of affection. No doubt he’d hear later on about how that sort of thing should be kept behind closed doors. Not if you were heterosexual of course, but nobody needed to see the gays hugging each other.
Nicholas smiled. He didn’t give two figs what they thought. Lauren and Clara were chatting excitedly with Fynn, telling him he needed to come meet their other halves, and their parents, and Grandma. Nicholas had hoped to not overwhelm him right away, but it seemed they didn’t have much of a choice. But just as they were pulling them away to go make some introductions, Nicholas spotted someone by the door and his jaw dropped.
“Can you hang on actually? I’ll, um, just be a sec,” he said, then glared at Lauren. “Look after him.”
Lauren crossed her heart, but Clara was already asking Fynn about his music, so he knew they’d have plenty to talk about for the moment. So he squeezed Fynn’s hand, then went over to the figure hovering nervously by the door.
Ash had gotten changed.
Gone was the delicate, sparkly pink dress. Instead, she’d completely transformed with a well-fitted suit. As he approached, he could see it was a chocolate brown with a fine pink pinstripe. The trousers had a slight flare over the heeled boots she was wearing, and the jacket and waistcoat were synched at the waist, making her boobs look more prominent even though they were completely hidden by the white shirt and pink cravat. She fiddled anxiously with a pocket watch on a chain, regarding him as he approached.
“I couldn’t be a girl any more today,” she blurted as soon as he was close enough. “I was crawling out of my skin. Did you think Clara will mind?”
He smiled at her and drew her into a hug. “I can guarantee she won’t be bothered at all,” he assured her. He pulled back and looked her up and down. “You look stunning.”
Ash beamed at him. “Really?”
He nodded. He still couldn’t say he fancied her, but objectively speaking, she really suited this gender-ambiguous look a lot more than the very feminine dress.
“So,” he said. “Do you want me to call you ‘he’ now? How does it work?” He thought it was best to ask, before he inevitably put his foot in it.
She smiled fondly at him. “No, don’t worry about that. Maybe ‘they’ if you want? I don’t mind.”
“I can cope with ‘they’,” he assured them, squeezing their waist. “Hey, did you know I have a boyfriend now?” He pointed at Fynn, still being playfully grilled by Clara and Lauren.
“I did.” Ash laughed. “I caught the end of you two dancing. Bold move.”
Nicholas shrugged. “Nah, not really. I just said, ‘Do you want to dance’, and that was the end of that.”
Ash bit their lip, and glanced out over the room. “Is that so?” they asked.
Nicholas followed their gaze and saw the object of their attention. Kinny was standing with a group of her and Clara’s friends, but she was looking back at them. At Ash in particular, her eyes travelling over her new look with a slightly slack jaw. Nicholas frowned, then snapped his head back and forth between the two of them. “Hang on,” he spluttered. “Are you two—?”
“No,” said Ash hastily. “I mean, um. Do you think, if I asked her to dance…she might say yes?”
Nicholas felt like he’d missed several steps. But then, that’s what people could easily say about him and Fynn. So rather than try and unravel what had passed him by, he just nodded. “Yeah, yeah, go ask her to dance!” he enthused. “By the looks of it, I think Boy Ash is ticking her boxes too.”
Ash rolled their eyes at him, but then gave him a hopeful smile, before waving shyly at Kinny. Kinny waved back. “Okay,” they said. “Thank you.”
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” said Nicholas with a wink.
He didn’t want to intrude, but he couldn’t help but watch as Ash steeled themselves with a deep breath, then walked over to talk to Kinny. When he saw her smiling and nodding, he thought he should probably leave them to it. Besides, he had his own boyfriend to get back to.
The evening passed in somewhat a blur. His parents were pretty astonished to see their son with a boyfriend, and Nicholas could tell they probably had several more conversations ahead of them on that front. But they reacted positively enough, and his sisters were soon whisking them both away to formally meet Peter and Franko. Nicholas’s grandma had a rather pinched expression upon finding out that her grandson not only a had a boyfriend, but a black boyfriend. She didn’t say anything of course, but Nicholas had gotten pretty good at reading the particular way her eyes squinted when she was displeased, and pulled Fynn away from her before she could say anything catty or passive aggressive.
There was a group of lads who Nicholas thought might have been uni friends of Peter’s. They had openly hostile looks on their faces as Nicholas and Fynn passed, but they didn’t come over, and Nicholas hoped they would keep their judgements to themselves. His heart beat faster at the idea they were offended by his happiness. Trusting they wouldn’t start anything in the middle of a wedding, he determinedly turned his back on them. He wasn’t going to let a bunch of closed minded strangers spoil his joy. No way.
The only other person Nicholas cared about introducing Fynn to was his Aunt Sally, who was sat on one of the tables with a plate of food from the buffet. So Nicholas suggested the two of them get something to eat too – he’d hardly had any of the lunch after all – and went to join her. She hooted with laughter when Nicholas introduced Fynn as his boyfriend.
“I said he was gorgeous, didn’t I? No wonder you couldn’t take your eyes off him.” Nicholas blushed and tried to tell Fynn it wasn’t that bad, but he shook his head.
“Every time I looked over, you were ogling me,” he teased. Nicholas didn’t really mind, because it was basically true.
He didn’t really want to leave Fynn by himself, but he got up to do the ‘Macarena’ with little Milly. By the end of the track, she knew it better than he did. He also danced with Clara for a while. She was adorably drunk and chatted his ear off about how happy she was, and what a perfect day she’d had, but how much her feet were hurting, although she couldn’t take her shoes off yet. Because they were special bride shoes and she was going to get the most out of them that she could. Because everything was perfect. Nicholas thought it best not to remind her of all the near misses they’d had, and just agreed. Because she was right; for all the ups and downs, it really had turned into the most incredible day.
On his way back to Fynn, who had made great friends with Aunt Sally, he was surprised to see Mrs Sadik along with Kinny’s Bas and Enver. All three of them were dressed up for the occasion, and Kinny was stood talking to her mum. He was warmed not only by the fact that Ash was by her side – that dance must have gone quite well then – but also that Mrs Sadik was nodding, and Kinny tentatively smiling. As he watched, Kinny threw her arms around her.
“I didn’t realise they’d had a fight.”
He turned around to see Danielle also watching on. She had a glass of bubbly in her hand and her other arm wrapped around her waist. “Uh yeah,” said Nicholas, turning back to watch the reconciliation. “She still asked her to mend the dresses though. It took a lot of guts.”
Danielle nodded. “I know. That’s why I invited her tonight. I also insisted she be properly paid for the work she did.�
� She took a sip of her drink.
Nicholas felt himself relax his shoulders a little. “You really did do a great job with this wedding Danielle,” he said. “I hope you know that.”
She turned her head to him, and after a moment’s staring, her lip wobbled. “Oh,” she said thickly. “Really?”
“Um,” he said. He’d not expected this. “Yeah, of course. It’s been fantastic.”
“I was worried everyone thought I was a massive bitch,” she said tearfully.
Nicholas schooled his face extremely carefully. “Oh, no – what?” he said. He rubbed her arm. “No, you did great, honestly.” Danielle continued to sniffle, so he steered her into a nearby chair and sat down next to her. “You just care a lot, that’s all.” To a certain extent, he did believe that was true.
“I am a bit of a bitch though,” she said. She wiped her eyes with the pads of her fingers, careful not to smudge any makeup. “I always thought…” She bit her lip, and sighed. “I always thought I’d get married first,” she said in a rush. She pulled at the tablecloth. “I’m the oldest, I did everything first. But…” Her lip trembled again. “I can’t even keep a boyfriend. Even you’ve got a boyfriend, why can’t I get one?”
Nicholas didn’t miss the way she scoffed about Fynn, and didn’t congratulate him on coming out, but he decided to give her a pass on that one. Because he did have a boyfriend. An awesome one. So he was willing to let his cousin be a little bitter.
“I’m sure there’s someone great out there for you,” Nicholas assured her. “I mean, come on. You’re gorgeous, and you have a killer job. You’re a catch.”
She huffed, and gave him a nod. “You’re right,” she said with determination. “Besides, a career is more important than a man. Boyfriends are overrated.” Nicholas felt she’d probably change her tune once she managed to tie down a man, but he let that barb slide too. He’d rather she was amicable. He watched her down her drink. “I’m heading to the bar. Do you want anything?”
Nicholas shook his head. He hadn’t had anything alcoholic to drink since the wedding breakfast. The lack of sleep was catching up with him, and the thought of it had made him feel a bit queasy.
