by Helen Juliet
He realised as Fynn approached, that he was preoccupied thinking about the future. Their future. They would, he hoped, be doing this a lot more in time to come. That, along with his post-orgasmic high, made him grin to himself like a nutter.
“I’ll stop asking if you feel alright with that look on your face,” Fynn teased as he got back into bed.
He offered Nicholas a wad of tissue so he could clean himself up, while he chucked the wet pillow away on the floor. Nicholas felt a brief moment’s humiliation when he thought of housekeeping having to deal with that in the morning, but then he reasoned that a) they had probably seen much worse, and b) he honestly didn’t care. He was so happy and content he could deal with some anonymous maid disproving of him. Or maybe they’d congratulate him? Who knew?
The pillow had obviously been placed to get his hips at a better angle, but it also had the added bonus of absorbing most of Nicholas’s orgasm. Between getting rid of that, and the tissues to mop up the excess lube, the bed was much more comfortable when they settled down again.
Fynn pulled Nicholas into his side, encouraging him to lay his head in the dip below his shoulder. Nicholas fought to keep his eyes open as he traced his fingers over the hickey mark he’d branded Fynn with back at his house.
“You liked that, yeah?” Nicholas asked. He was slightly nervous at hearing the answer, but he had to know it was okay. Fynn had done all the work, what if he hadn’t enjoyed it?
But he stroked the side of Nicholas’s face, and they looked at each other. “It was perfect,” he said. “I—” He bit his lip, and smiled. “I’m so glad you forgot to book that harp. I’m so glad we met.”
“Me too,” Nicholas said. His heart was thumping in his chest, and not just from the residual sex-fuelled adrenaline. He still couldn’t quite believe someone like Fynn wanted to be with someone like him, but, he was maybe beginning to understand. “We fit well,” he said. “Like…jigsaw pieces.”
A sleepy grin spread across Fynn’s face at the metaphor. “Different shapes,” he agreed. “But they slot together.”
Nicholas wrapped his arms and legs around Fynn’s naked body like a monkey. “My puzzle piece,” he said, his head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he lost the battle with his eyelids. “Can we sleep now?”
Fynn pressed his lips to the top of his head. “Yes darling, we can sleep now.”
Chapter Sixteen
(Two weeks later)
It was windy standing on the train station platform, but the sun was shining and the rain that was forecast hadn’t started yet. Nicholas gripped onto the extended handle of his suitcase, and looked anxiously down the track. They still had a few minutes before the train into London was due.
“You’re sure you’re okay to Skype tonight?” He was trying not to freak out, but now the moment had come to say goodbye, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t just a little bit nervous.
Fynn smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder. “Yes darling,” he said warmly. “Just let me know when you’re back in your room, and we can test it out.” As much as Nicholas wasn’t keen on phone calls, he was even less keen on the idea of not seeing Fynn every day after they’d been inseparable since the wedding. Video calling seemed like a good way to get around his phobia of talking over the phone.
He was on his way back to Bristol, to complete the final term of his first year. They’d already made plans for Fynn to come and visit him for the weekend next month, but it looked like they’d probably be doing the long-distance thing for a while, and Nicholas was eager to train Fynn out of his bad communication habits as soon as possible.
He bit his lip. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, but he was going to miss Fynn a lot. He’d fallen into the routine of being in a couple like a duck taking to water. It wasn’t just the sex (oh dear lord, the sex) but the comfort and fun of having Fynn by his side almost every day. He liked who he was when he was around him, and he needed to take that and learn how to be that version of Nicholas by himself.
He had a bit of extra confidence now, and he was getting used to the idea of being gay more and more every day. He was slightly dreading coming out to his uni friends, but once he did, he’d promised himself he could change his relationship status on Facebook, and that was a very enticing bribe. He couldn’t wait to tell the world that Fynn was his; that out of everyone he could have picked to be with, he’d chosen Nicholas. The thought made him giddy.
Fynn sighed and hugged him to his side. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.
Nicholas nodded. “I know,” he said. And he meant it. “I’m just going to miss you.”
“No, you’re not,” said Fynn. He grinned and rocked them back and forth. There were a few people on the platform with them, but Nicholas didn’t care if they judged them. He just cared about his last few moments with his boyfriend. “You’re going to be crazy busy, and we’ll talk all the time. I’ll be down to visit before you know it.”
Nicholas pinched his arm playfully. “Alright,” he grumbled. “But you better miss me. And no slacking on the texting while you’re in Stockholm. I want to hear all about how the recording goes, okay?”
Fynn crossed his heart. “I promise,” he said solemnly.
The announcement over the tannoy informed them that his train was approaching. Nicholas cleared his throat, and resolutely promised himself he wouldn’t cry. He was not that much of a wuss.
In fact, if his sister’s wedding had taught him anything at all, it was that he was capable of a lot more than he’d previously given himself credit for. He was resourceful and could keep his head in a crisis, and despite the voice that occasionally niggled at the back of his mind, he was really starting to believe he was good enough to be with Fynn. So there really wasn’t any reason to fret.
They’d said their proper, steamier goodbye back in Nicholas’s room. He’d learned it was safer all around to not go over the top with public displays of affection, just in case there was someone around who would get nasty. That did upset Nicholas – that they had to be more careful than a straight couple – but he knew they wouldn’t change anything by snogging on a train platform. So he contented himself with a simple peck on the lips, then stepped away to go towards the yellow line.
He let a couple of people off the train first, then lugged his bag up into the compartment. He turned to wave at Fynn, but he’d already hopped up beside him, and in the slightly improved privacy of the doorway, he let himself be kissed properly.
“Have a good journey,” Fynn whispered, then jumped back down again.
Nicholas smiled as the doors slid shut on him, and they waved through the glass window as the train began to move. When Fynn slipped out of sight, Nicholas did allow himself a little tear, then laughed at his own sappiness.
It only took twenty-five minutes to get into St Pancras, but then he had to navigate the Tube with his suitcase and rucksack. The train from Paddington to Bristol took just under two hours, so he’d wait to get his laptop out until then. It was a good job Fynn worked most evenings at the Italian place still, otherwise Nicholas would never have got any of his course work or revision done. But despite that, he still had part of one of his essays to finish, and doing so on the train would distract him from leaving Fynn behind.
He sighed, and once he’d stowed his luggage in the rack, he went and found himself a seat. He was feeling better already. He trusted Fynn to stay in touch, and a bit of time apart would do them some good. Although it had been amazing the past couple of weeks, it would be great to spend time with his other friends again and catch up on some of his favourite TV shows.
When he hadn’t been with Fynn, he’d made time to sit down with his parents and make sure they were okay with him now he’d come out of the closet. His mum had had all sorts of anxious questions and seemed more concerned what other people would think of him rather than having much of an opinion herself. As long as he kept himself safe (in every interpretation of the word) she didn’t appear to mi
nd that he was gay.
His dad had been a bit sceptical, but he just said if Nicholas was happy, then that was okay. He’d balked at any hint of hearing further details about him and Fynn’s relationship in the intimate sense and didn’t seem very comfortable when they held hands, but he’d not said a word against it. Nicholas hoped in time he’d come to treat them as easily as he did Clara and Lauren with their partners.
He’d also spent more time with Trev, who hadn’t cared one bit that Nicholas was gay. They’d mostly just played video games and talked about the developments with Trev’s comic book. Nicholas promised that he and Fynn would come visit him at the MCM convention, so the two of them could get to know each other a little better.
It had been a relief when Danielle had finally moved out of the family home back to her flat in London. Unsurprisingly, she suffered the worst from the post-wedding comedown, spending a couple of days in her pyjamas eating nothing but Chinese food and watching old reruns of Friends. But then she’d downloaded a couple of dating apps and decided that her love-life was going to be her next project, setting up several dates within the first day. Nicholas wished her all the luck in the world, although he did feel a tiny bit sorry for the guys she was going to be meeting. But, who knew? Maybe there was someone perfect out there for her?
Clara was still on honeymoon and Lauren had gone back to Italy, which meant their parents got their house all to themselves again. Well, almost. Nicholas suspected Archibald was going to very much enjoy ruling the roost once more.
Much as him forgetting to book the harpist had brought him and Fynn together, Archibald trashing the dresses had made it so that Kinny and her mum could bury their old feud and make friends again. Nicholas was thrilled to hear they’d been spending more time together, and according to Ash, they were hoping to tell Kinny’s family about their relationship over dinner next week. That made him smile. Kinny had seemed completely shocked to find that, quite without her noticing, she’d fallen head over heels for Ash. They made the cutest couple, and he wished them all the best.
He twitched in surprise as his phone pinged. No one in his carriage seemed annoyed, but he’d still put it onto silent after he’d read the message. He fished it out of his pocket, and heart leapt as the display showed it was from Fynn.
He’d not been expecting anything yet. Although Fynn was getting better at communicating, they’d left it that he’d wait for Nicholas to contact him once he was settled back in halls. Maybe Nicholas had forgotten something? He opened the message with a hint of apprehension.
That very quickly turned to stunned disbelief as he took the three little words in.
‘I love you x’
Nicholas couldn’t believe what he was seeing. They hadn’t said anything of the sort to each other. He was still staring when a follow-up message appeared.
‘See, I told you I’d text ;)’
Nicholas laughed, feeling light headed. ‘You git!’ he shot back. ‘You can’t tell me you love me for the first time over a bloody text!’
‘I just did’ He tagged the crying-with-laughter emoji onto the end of that one.
Nicholas felt warm and fuzzy all over, and a lump had risen in his throat. He loved him. Fynn loved him.
Despite his fears how their relationship would work over such a distance, Nicholas had to have faith. Disaster may have brought them together, but he knew that just meant it would take one hell of a catastrophe to ever pull them apart.
‘I love you too x’
The End
Soundtrack
This is a list of every single song that gets mentioned throughout the book. I urge you to listen to them by legitimate means, and support the artists.
Katy Perry – E.T.
The Knife/Jose Gonzalez – Heartbeats
Lady Gaga – Telephone
Taylor Swift – You Belong with Me
Taylor Swift – Style
John Legend – All of You
Ruelle – War of Hearts
Spice Girls – Say You’ll Be There
Beyoncé – Halo
Christine and the Queens – Tilted
Ella Henderson – Glow
Hanson – MMMBop
Ricky Martin – Livin’ la Vida Loca
Spandau Ballet – True
Dinah Nah – Make Me (La La La) (Acoustic and original Melodifestivalen versions)
Suzanne Vega – Tom’s Diner
Fall Out Boy – Centuries
Don Henley – The Boys of Summer
Taylor Swift – Bad Blood
The Rolling Stones/Charlotte Martine – Wild Horses
The Killers – Mr Brightside
Jimi Jamison – I’m Always Here (Theme from Baywatch)
Rick Astley/Hannah Trigwell – Never Gonna Give You Up
Katrina and the Waves – Walking on Sunshine
Johann Pachelbel – Canon and Gigue for 3 violins and basso continuo
Beyoncé – Single Ladies
Los Del Río – Macarena
About the Author
Helen Juliet is an M/M author currently living and working in London. She’s been writing stories since she was young, and got her start publishing fanfiction of sites like Wattpad. Fifteen years and over a million words later, she discovered the world of M/M fiction and found it was just as good as the fanfiction she was reading. She fell head over heels in love with the genre and became determined to try her hand at a book herself. On December 31st, 2016, she rang in the new year by publishing her first original novel, and hasn’t looked back since.
You can contact Helen via social media:
Website – www.helenjuliet.com
Email – [email protected]
Twitter – @helenjwrites
Instagram – @helenjwrites
Tumblr – @helenjwrites
Facebook Page – Helen Juliet
Facebook Group – Helen Juliet Books
Also by Helen Juliet
Glitter on the Garland
Matt Bartlett and his family have been pulled apart in the last year by his dad’s affair and the subsequent divorce. Now Christmas is looming, and Matt and his sister are expected to play nice and share the holidays with his dad’s new family.
Lucky for Matt, his best friend Aedan Gallagher arrives on his doorstep on Christmas morning, bringing with him a much-needed blast of festive cheer and plenty of sparkle.
As they navigate Matt’s vindictive step-mother and Aedan’s own family trouble, Matt starts to realise that Aedan might be more than just a friend to him. But with everything else threatening to fall apart around them, he’s not sure if he should dare risk taking the next step. If he doesn’t though, he could lose Aedan forever.
A stand alone, New Adult romance with a happy ending.
49,000 words approx.
Coming Soon
Without a Compass
Riley’s idea of a good time involves things like bubble baths. Cold white wine. Dancing with a sexy boy. From the moment he earned his own paycheque, his holidays have always revolved around room service, infinity pools and exotic sunsets.
For years, there not been a single tent pole in sight.
Until now.
This summer, his family has decided to go on a scouting retreat for his father's fiftieth birthday. Seven days of campfire cooking and communal showers. It's his family's element, but Riley feels like a duck out of the water they're going to be canoeing in.
There’s no getting out of it, though. And to compound the misery of a week spent sleeping on the ground with no WiFi and far too many insects that want to snack on his sensitive skin, his older brother has also invited his best friend. Kai is big and tough, loves hiking and anything else outdoorsy, and most importantly, is very straight. So Riley’s age-old unrequited crush on him is most inconvenient.
After an unexpected twist of fate leaves the two of them spending more time together than ever before, they discover they might have more in common than they thought. Perhaps this trip won
’t be as hideous as Riley first assumed.
