by Helen Juliet
Nicholas regarded him, apprehension creeping into his guts. “Um, is it really that bad on the bottom?”
Fynn considered him, and played a bit with his hair. “It can be painful if you don’t do it right. But I know how to do it right,” he added hastily. “It’s more that it’s kind of weird having someone else inside your body, and I just want to make sure you’re happy. If you freak out, that’s totally normal.”
Nicholas really didn’t want to freak out, and the tension in his chest did lessen a tad knowing that Fynn’s priority was for his wellbeing. He was anxious not to be a killjoy. “I want you to be happy, too,” he said in a small voice.
“Whatever we do here, I’ll be happy so long as you are.” He cupped his face, which was sweet, but then he waggled his eyebrows, making Nicholas laugh. “I’m pretty certain I’m getting laid tonight by my hot boyfriend. I don’t really care how it happens.”
Nicholas gave him a playful shove. “Alright then, Romeo. Let’s give it a go.”
“Oh how romantic,” Fynn said, giving him a kiss. He moved away, letting a draft of air in under the covers that made Nicholas suck in a breath through his teeth. But it also cooled his over-heated skin down, which was probably a good thing.
Fynn fetched out a box of three condoms and some KY jelly. Nicholas had no idea you could buy those sorts of things at Sainsbury’s, but he was extremely relieved that was the case.
“Um,” he said shyly as Fynn placed his purchases on the bedside table. “So, where do you want me?” There had been all kinds of positions in the videos, and he had no idea of the pros or cons of any of them. But he vowed to try Fynn’s favourite.
Leaving the lube and condoms on the side, Fynn scooted back over to him and rubbed his back. “It’s easiest and most comfortable if you lie on your stomach, and we put a pillow under your hips.”
Nicholas frowned at him. “Doggy style?” That didn’t seem all that dignified, but he’d told himself he’d do what Fynn wanted.
Fynn pulled a face. “Not really, unless you want to kneel for ages. This way you’re lying down. Trust me, just while you get used to it, this way is the least painful. It was for me anyway.”
Nicholas wasn’t sure. That didn’t really feel like they’d be connected in the same way they were the last time. “Can I, um, still kiss you like that?”
If he’d had any doubt before about his feelings for Fynn, the tender way he responded to his quite frankly ridiculous and pathetic question confirmed them tenfold. “Yes darling,” he said, kissing him hard as if to prove the point.
He might have thought that being called ‘darling’ would make him feel wussy. But Fynn said it without the ‘g’ – ‘dar-lin’, and that somehow made it seem less delicate. No one else had ever called him that, that was for certain, and the uniqueness of the pet name added to its appeal. He liked being Fynn’s darlin’.
His arousal had flagged somewhat while they’d been talking, but Fynn soon had him breathless again with his searing kisses and wandering hands. He grabbed one of the flatter, softer pillows from the pile and helped Nicholas slip it under his hips. They were still beneath the covers, so Nicholas didn’t feel that nervous pulling off his underwear. And then he lay down over the pillow, rested the side of his head on his crossed arms, and waited for Fynn to come to him.
Fynn discarded his own briefs out the side of the bed and plucked the tube of lubricant to bring back over with him as he spooned up to Nicholas’s side. His cock was heavy and warm against his leg, and Nicholas tried not to think about what they were going to attempt. It had felt so good rubbed up against his own last time, so he told himself it would feel good again this time, just different.
True to his word, as Fynn caressed his right hand down Nicholas’s back, he bestowed sweet, slow kisses on Nicholas’s lips. So far, everything was feeling pretty great. He stroked the curve of his bottom, letting his fingers tickle the inside of Nicholas’s thighs, making him squirm.
“You like that?” Fynn asked.
Nicholas couldn’t bring himself to do more than utter a closed-mouth “Um hum.”
Fynn wriggled a bit to get the lube, and Nicholas closed his eyes so he could focus on keeping his breathing even. “Just relax darling,” Fynn mumbled in his ear. The cap snapped shut on the tube, and the next thing Nicholas felt was Fynn shifting the covers over his back, and then…
He gasped as his eyes flew open and he jumped forward and inch or two. “Sorry,” he giggled. “It’s cold.”
It was, but it was super slippery as well, and Fynn traced his fingers down the crease between his cheeks. He stroked the sensitive ring of puckered flesh, and Nicholas’s eyes fluttered shut again.
Fynn was right; if he thought too much about what was going on, he was going to psych himself out. Sure, that was pretty much the most intimate and private part of his whole body, but if he stopped thinking of it as a ‘thing’, and instead just enjoyed how nice it felt to be touched there, it was fine. It was great actually.
Fynn pushed one of his fingers against his hole, breaching just inside him. “Oh, oh,” Nicholas panted, his fingers clenching over the bedsheets.
“Okay?” Fynn asked.
He pulsed the digit slowly, and after he’d caught his breath, Nicholas had to admit the sensation was actually quite pleasant. He hummed, and willed himself to relax, getting accustomed to the feeling.
Fynn was cuddled up next to him, and he was slowly shifting, rubbing his body and his cock against Nicholas’s side as he gradually worked his finger in deeper, easing it back and forth until he reached the knuckle. Nicholas was enjoying himself now, pushing back, asking for more. And all throughout, Fynn didn’t stop kissing him.
Not just on his lips. He traced his mouth down Nicholas’s neck and across his shoulder blades, and as he licked and nipped his way down his spine, he pushed another finger inside.
That one took some more getting used to. If he was honest, it sort of burned. It didn’t feel right. But Nicholas focused of his breathing, on his hard cock rubbing against the pillows, and the way the rest of Fynn was feeling so exquisite pressed up against him.
“You’re doing great,” Fynn murmured to him.
Nicholas peeked an eye open to see Fynn grinning down at him. He had a sheen of sweat over his skin, so Nicholas’s brief worry that he was bored subsided. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he was getting off on this too.
Nicholas dug his fingers into the mattress. “It feels good,” he gasped. It did, once the burning sensation subsided.
Fynn licked his lips, then captured his mouth with his own for a kiss, before he tugged the bottom lip between his teeth like Nicholas had done to him. “I’m really, really happy to hear that.”
He removed his fingers, but before Nicholas could protest, he squeezed another thick dollop of lube on them, then pushed them back in. He was being a bit more forceful now, and, yes, the realisation that something was intruding inside his body was sort of disturbing. But it was Fynn doing this to him; gorgeous, talented, occasionally infuriating but actually really lovely Fynn. And Nicholas liked it.
He wasn’t sure how long they kept that up for. At least until Nicholas was a whimpering mess. He was having to force himself not to hump against the pillow too much; blowing his load early would definitely count as one of those Humiliating Things He Didn’t Want To Do. Fynn felt like he was pulling his fingers apart as he moved them inside of him, like a scissoring motion, and he could feel himself gradually stretching with it.
He was saying all sorts of stupid, incoherent things when his lips were unoccupied by Fynn’s. He wasn’t aware of half the words coming out of his mouth, but there were a lot of ‘yeses’ and ‘don’t stops’ and ‘like thats’. And ‘Fynns’.
“Fynn, oh Fynn,” he breathed, feeling himself starting to build to something quite spectacular.
That was when he stopped though, pulling his fingers out and shuffling around. Nicholas peeled his blurry eyes open, blinking to see what was goi
ng on.
Fynn was sat up, carefully ripping the top of the condom packet open.
“Oh,” uttered Nicholas. He really was articulate under pressure.
Fynn leant back over, holding the packet between his sticky fingers on one hand, and holding the side of Nicholas’s jaw gently with the other. “Are you still sure?” he asked.
The asking made it better. If he’d just ploughed ahead, Nicholas was certain he might have panicked. But speaking to him, looking into those bright, grey eyes, reminded him that he was safe, and he was having a good time, but he could still stop at any moment if he wanted. He didn’t though. Having Fynn’s fingers working him had been like nothing he’d ever experience before, but this way, Fynn would be enjoying it too, getting his own satisfaction. Nicholas wanted that more than the physical pleasure he was experiencing.
He had felt so off their first time, when Fynn hadn’t come. It had been unbalanced, wrong. Nicholas wanted them to join, like they had the second time. This would be like that, just, more. At least, he hoped.
“Yes,” he rasped. He was embarrassed his throat was a bit dry from the moaning and gasping he’d been doing. “Yes, I’m sure.”
He looked down between them. It was pretty dark under the covers, but he could see enough to tell Fynn had gone soft while he’d been tending to Nicholas. He bit his lip and looked at his cock. It still seemed intimidating, but slightly less so after Fynn had had his fingers in him.
“Can I—?” he asked, his voice timid. He reached downwards, then looked at Fynn.
His grey eyes widened. “Yeah, of course,” he said. He put the condom, still in its wrapper, beside them on one of the pillows, and moved so he and Nicholas were side by side. As he shifted, Nicholas appreciated what Fynn had been doing with his arse; it was sensitive in a good way. He didn’t want to focus on that for the moment though, he wanted to concentrate on finally giving Fynn something back.
Fynn cupped the side of his face with one hand and the edge of his hip with another, angling his pelvis between them, inviting Nicholas’s touch. He felt horribly clumsy, but Nicholas decided to just go for it, and wrapped his fingers around the length of Fynn’s shaft.
He immediately sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, which Nicholas took as a good sign. “Is that okay?” he asked. Fynn nodded, so he carried on stroking, bringing it to life. The skin was hot and almost felt velvety, and he was delighted as it began to grow and harden under his touch. He leant over and kissed Fynn, shifting so his own cock came closer, and he could attempt to rub them together, just like Fynn had done for them back in his bedroom.
He moaned, and it was one of the most pornographic sounds Nicholas had ever heard. “Yeah?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Fynn stuttered. “Do you want to roll over?”
Nicholas was almost tempted to carry on as they were. He knew this was good from the last time, despite his reservations it wasn’t ‘real sex’. But he wanted to try this with Fynn so badly, he wanted to go further. “Yes,” he uttered, and let him go.
As he turned back on his belly, Fynn crawled back up to retrieve the condom, then sat up so he could apply it. It smelt kind of funny, a mix of plastic and bitter chemicals, but Nicholas wasn’t put off. He was more preoccupied with what Fynn was about to attempt, so he went back to his eyes-closed, sheet-gripping, not-freaking out position. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Fynn crawled over him, pressing his chest to his back and trailing open-mouthed kisses along hi neck and his jawline. “Hey darling,” he whispered. Nicholas cracked an eyelid open and glanced over his shoulder.
“Hey,” he said.
Fynn gave him a peck on the cheek. “Give me your hand.”
He waved his left hand, and Nicholas obediently released the bedsheets with his own and held it out. Fynn put his over the top – it was notably larger – and laced their fingers together, curling them into a ball, and pressing them back into the bed.
“I’ve got you, okay,” he said, his warm breath tickling behind Nicholas’s ear. He nodded.
“I trust you.”
There was even more lube – Fynn had been right, he wasn’t skimping. He coated Nicholas inside and around his hole, then he smeared it over the already glistening condom. Nicholas found he couldn’t look at that directly though, it was a bit too much. Maybe next time he’d feel braver.
The KY tube discarded, Fynn angled himself, and then he was pressing against Nicholas’s entrance. Both of them cried out, despite him only breaching with just the tip, and Nicholas gritted his teeth. This was already much more than the fingers, and the burning sensation was back. He realised he was breathing a little too loudly, and reeled it back in. He’d get used to it he knew he would.
Plus, his hard-on was just about killing him, and if he didn’t get some release soon, he was going to combust. “I’m okay,” he managed to utter. He wriggled backwards. “You can move.”
“Yeah?” Fynn sounded pained.
“Yes,” Nicholas insisted.
Fynn pushed into him, slowly, and Nicholas did his best to relax and remember that he wasn’t trying to hurt him. Under Fynn’s instruction, each time before he pushed the next inch or so, Nicholas clenched, and then relaxed as he eased further in. Slowly, they made progress.
It was uncomfortable, and the burn as he stretched to accommodate him wasn’t exactly nice. But Fynn was gripping his hand, rocking his body over Nicholas’s and murmuring his name tenderly. He breathed, and he curled his toes so much they ached, but it meant he could relax his arse enough to start easing the burn.
Fynn bottomed out, going as far as he could, and both of them panted like they’d sprinted a hundred metres. Nicholas fidgeted, trying to get used to the sensation of a cock up his arse.
He couldn’t help it. He giggled.
Thankfully, Fynn joined in. “Something funny?” he growled, and captured Nicholas’s earlobe between his teeth.
“I don’t know,” he admitted truthfully. He was mildly hysterical. “This is brilliant, but it’s sort of awful, and I just want more, and you’re awesome – did I mention that before? Thank you. Oh! Your eyes are pretty. I thought that the first time I ever saw you, and now we’re here, and it’s been a really strange week.”
Fynn hummed and sucked on his ear some more, making him squirm. They both shifted, and that made Fynn’s dick touch something electric inside of him.
“Whoa,” he spluttered. He stopped laughing and froze in shock. “What the fuck was that?”
Fynn let his earlobe go with a pop. “What?” he asked innocently. Then he rolled his hips. Nicholas yelped and jerked, feeling like he’d touched a live wire. But in a good way. “That?”
“Yeah,” said Nicholas. He nodded and pushed shamelessly back into him, chasing the feeling again. The too-full, aching sensation was easing considerably in the wake of that magic moment. “Um, I liked that, that felt good.”
“Really?” Fynn checked. Nicholas nodded again. “Brilliant.”
Nicholas understood the term ‘pillow-biter’ as Fynn slid part of the way out of him, then back in again. He was assaulted by the okay-ish way Fynn’s cock rubbed in the inside of his rim, forcing its way out and in. But when it nudged against that sweet spot, he let out a kind of howl. It was like his whole body was flooded with light.
Gradually, he became more accustomed to Fynn moving in him, aided by the hot jolt of pleasure he got every time he hit the right spot inside him. This was why those guys on the internet had looked so bliss-filled. Nicholas was going out of his mind.
He could feel himself building, and he was unashamedly rutting against the pillow now, his cock desperate for friction. After a few more thrusts though, Fynn paused to haul his arse upwards. Suddenly, he was pounding into him from a better angle, and he wrapped his hand around his shaft, speeding up his impending climax dramatically.
“I’m going to—!” Nicholas croaked out.
That was all the warning he was able to give before he felt like his whole body sh
attered apart, and he wailed.
Fynn rammed into him a couple more times, but then he was grunting through his teeth, gripping his hips so tightly with his hands he would surely leave bruises, and he suddenly stilled.
After what felt like an age, they fell together into a boneless heap on top of the mattress. Nicholas could have sworn he saw stars. He was also lying in a pool of his own, cold mess, which didn’t feel great. But the rest of his body was thrumming with aftershocks, and his brain felt like it was bathed in warm bubbles.
“Oh my god,” he breathed out.
Fynn kissed his shoulder blade, then eased out of him. He did it carefully, but Nicholas still hissed in pain. He was suddenly very tender down there. “I’m sorry,” said Fynn. “Are you alright?”
“Great,” Nicholas assured him quickly. Blimey he was sleepy. “Just…sore. But it was good, I liked it.”
He looked up, making sure Fynn believed him. By the smile on his face, everything was alright. “Stay there,” he said with a kiss to Nicholas’s cheek.
Fynn slipped out of the bed and darted into the bathroom. There was a flush and the swing of the bin lid, and after a moment or two he walked back in with a roll of toilet paper. Nicholas was bold and allowed himself to look directly at Fynn’s cock hanging between his legs, seeing as it had just been inside him. It was only slightly darker than the rest of his skin, and about the same length as his own, but thicker. He felt irrationally proud that he’d managed to cope with it. He was also pleased he hadn’t looked too closely before, otherwise he wasn’t sure he would have attempted getting it inside him.
He couldn’t say he’d wholly loved the experience; after all the fuss he’d put himself through over having ‘real sex’, he preferred the simpler frottage the other day if he was honest. But there was something so deeply intimate about what they’d just done that he knew he’d absolutely treasure once his backside had stopped throbbing. And from the sounds of it, it got easier the more you did it. Plus, Fynn said he’d be up for trying it the other way around, which, now he’d gotten over the first hurdle, Nicholas felt he could work his way up to tying one day.
