Tattered Loyalties

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “You don’t know,” she whispered. “How can you not know?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

  She shook her head then backed up a step. “It’s not important.” She raised her chin. “Goodbye, Finn Jamenson.”

  “Goodbye, Brynn Brentwood.” Oddly formal, but she’d started it.

  She turned away and left quickly.

  He honestly didn’t understand women. And this Brynn was more confusing than most. It didn’t matter though. He had work to do. A Pack to care for…and a cousin to try to keep safe, even though it was out of his hands.

  Chapter Seven

  Brie stretched gingerly, her body aching in all the right places. She’d be sore for a few more hours, but thanks to her wolf genetics, she would heal much faster than a human. While Gideon had been gentler once he knew about her experience—or lack thereof—he’d still been really…big.

  She blushed at the reminder then scolded herself. She was a mated woman now. Blushing at the size of a penis wasn’t the most mature thing to do. Though it wasn’t that she was truly embarrassed. Hell no. She loved the feeling of him inside her. The intimacy was one thing—something she’d have to learn to understand—but it had been the feeling of heat and hunger that surprised her. She’d craved more even as she’d risen over the crests and peaks. It wasn’t as if she’d ever felt something like that for a man before. No, thanks to seeing Gideon as a potential at such a young age, she’d grown up on a path unlike any other.

  And now here she was, standing alone in Gideon’s house—not hers, as she hadn’t even moved anything in yet. But she wasn’t sure when or if the house would ever feel like hers. Her mother had already made arrangements to send things over and Brie had done all of her packing already. Everything would be taken care of, and it was oddly easy to physically settle in as Gideon’s wife. It was everything else that would be difficult. She ran a hand over her face then frowned.

  Gideon was gone before she woke up, but she vaguely remembered him cupping her face and growling something at her as she slept. Honestly, for all she knew, it could have been a dream. A dream where she had a mate who truly cared about her, rather than a mate who saw her as a means to an end.

  Yes, it wasn’t fair to claim to know what he was thinking, but what else could she do? It wasn’t as if he was here to tell her. Even if he was here, he probably wouldn’t say anything along those lines. No, instead, he’d act like her uncles or cousins and grunt something that was supposed to make sense, and she’d end up as confused as ever.

  Well, she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself and get on with the rest of her life. Whatever that life would be. They honestly hadn’t talked last night—or even much before that—so now she had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn’t scent anyone in the house, so she knew she was alone.

  However, what her next step would be was beyond her. She probably should have thought beyond mating him and what that would entail other than the pain and loneliness, but she hadn’t been able to get over her wolf’s desires. That and Gideon’s needs for his Pack.

  Now she had to think of practical matters.

  Such as if she should leave the house since she was the new Alpha female in a den full of wolves that had never met her. That wouldn’t be awkward or anything.

  “Brie?”

  She stiffened at the familiar voice that she couldn’t place and turned toward the front door.

  “Brie? It’s Ryder. I have breakfast. Can you let me in?”

  She immediately relaxed and went to the door. Ryder had performed the ceremony with such a composed tone that she’d calmed a little more than she probably would have without him. She’d been so freaking scared, and yet excited at the same time, that she wasn’t sure she’d remember what had actually happened for a long while.

  When she opened the door, Ryder walked in, a small smile on his face and a bag in one hand and a set of coffees in the other. He looked so much like Gideon it surprised her. All of the Brentwoods looked similar and though Ryder was slightly more slender, she still thought her Gideon was the most attractive.

  Her Gideon.

  She supposed that was the case now, even though she wasn’t sure she could truly feel that way and be honest.

  “I brought doughnuts and coffee,” Ryder said as he wiped off his shoes. “I figured you’d need some fuel before the rest of us show up.”

  Brie blinked then took a coffee from him, oddly relieved he was there even if she was confused. It was nice to not be alone. She’d grown up with dozens of cousins and more Pack members than she knew how to deal with, and now she found herself alone in a sea full of people.

  “Thank you.” She took a step back so he could move into the room. “And what do you mean the rest of you? Did I miss something?”

  Ryder gave her a quick smile then motioned for her to sit down. Still confused, she sat at one end of the couch as he sat on the other.

  “Gideon didn’t mention that he called over the family to meet with you before the Pack hunt tonight?”

  Brie blinked and set down her coffee, thankful she hadn’t taken a sip when he’d spoken. “No. He didn’t.” She looked away from his knowing gaze and mumbled, “He didn’t say a lot of things.”

  She winced at that last part, annoyed she’d let it slip. She wasn’t this sad, little weakling, too afraid to voice her mind, but everything around her was new and stifling. She was in a home that wasn’t her own, but now she was expected to live here. At least that’s what she thought since she hadn’t actually spoken to Gideon about it. She was expected to be the Alpha’s mate and take on duties as such, but she hadn’t a clue what those responsibilities were. Now she was going to be surrounded by a whole family of Brentwoods who, most likely, had been expecting a stronger mate for their brother and cousin.

  Brie wouldn’t be anything they expected.

  Honestly, with the way she’d jumped in head-first without thinking, she wasn’t who she was expecting either.

  Ryder sighed then set his coffee down as well. “Gideon isn’t a big talker.” He snorted then shook his head. “Actually, I’m not the big talker. Gideon talks, but it’s more of a bark as he orders people around. He can’t help it. He’s Alpha.”

  Well, wasn’t that the understatement of the century? Though she couldn’t get the image of him gently caressing her the night before out of her head. Her cheeks heated, and she ducked her eyes, embarrassed to be thinking about her mating while Ryder was in the room. Honestly, she needed to stop blushing at every dirty thought. It was getting annoying. Plus, with the family she’d grown up with, it wasn’t as if she’d lived in pure innocence. They all were open about how they loved one another, and more than once, she’d walked in on her aunts, uncles, and parents ‘enjoying their mating’ as they put it.

  She shook her head to clear her thoughts. There would be no use sharing her worries with a man she didn’t know. Especially since that man was her new mate’s brother.

  “So, there’s a Pack hunt tonight?” she asked, trying to get to know the man in front of her. She might as well get started learning to be a Talon. The hollowness in her chest that came from losing her Redwood bonds ached, but she knew that, one day, the Talon bonds would cement fully. As of now, they were mere whispers of a promise. They even felt different, as if they were a whole new entity rather than the Pack bonds that she’d grown up with.

  Ryder gave her a strange look, as if he was reading her thoughts, then nodded. “Yes. Gideon wanted to do a hunt with you next to him to introduce you to the Pack outside the mating ceremony. It’s not a full moon hunt, but since we don’t actually need the moon to shift, we’ll still go through all the same motions. And this time, you’ll be with us. It’ll be a good way for you to get to know the Pack.”

  She nodded, smiling slightly. “That was good of him to think of that.” Though it would have been nice if he’d actually spoken to her about it first. She didn’t like being kept in the dark, and i
f she was going to act as the Alpha’s mate, she had to not look like an idiot.

  Ryder smiled. “Gideon doesn’t usually tell others what he’s up to. He just does it.” He leveled a look at her. “It will be something you’ll have to work on with him. You might have a better shot than we ever did.”

  Nothing like having the weight of a family’s worries on her shoulders before she even left the house.

  They sat there in silence for a few moments, drinking coffee. It wasn’t awkward since Ryder seemed to be a quiet wolf to begin with, but she wanted to ask more questions. Before she could open her mouth to start, the door opened, and the Brentwoods piled in.

  She stood up, wiping her hands down her pants, trying not to feel out of place. It was almost impossible to do so considering she was the outsider, despite her new bonds.

  These people would be her new family. It wasn’t as if she was leaving her own family forever, but mating into a new Pack was different than just a normal mating. She’d lost the physical bonds she’d had before, and now she would have to make new ones. New ones with people she didn’t know at all.

  Why had she done this again?

  Oh yes, because Gideon needed her.

  His Pack needed her.

  She needed to remember that.

  The Brentwoods reminded her of her family in that all of them had a similar, distinctive look about them. Each of them had dark hair and bright blue eyes set in faces with chiseled features and full lips. Seriously, even the cousins looked as though they were all siblings with one another. Plus, they were some of the most beautiful people she’d seen.

  Even though they were all attractive, she silently thought that Gideon was the best of the bunch. Not that she’d tell them that.

  None of them spoke at first, but each sat down on the pieces of furniture filling the living room. Gideon came in last, and her wolf pushed at her, whimpering because they weren’t close enough. Brie held back, barely. He stood in the doorway, his gaze raking her body before he turned away and moved past her to sit on the arm of the couch next to an open spot.

  Without a word.

  Well, heck. Now what was she supposed to do?

  She went back to her seat and sat down, aware that every eye in the room was on her. Instead of cowering under the strength of their wolves, she straightened her spine and raised her chin without meeting any of their gazes. There was only so much her wolf could do in this situation. Maybe a more dominant wolf could have gotten away with more, but she was who she was, and despite what Gideon might have needed, there was no changing that.

  Brynn tilted her head then sighed. “Well, it seems I’ll be the first person to speak since my brother is being oddly quiet.” She smiled softly, her face brightening a bit. “Welcome to the family, Brie. I know we’ve all met you over the years and even more of us last night, but big brother here thought it would be good to have all of us over so you can get to know us better without the rest of the Pack around.”

  Brie smiled back, relieved the other woman had broken the ice. The fact that it had been Gideon’s idea in the first place warmed her. She didn’t know him, yet she wanted to. She needed to. If she couldn’t find out who he was directly from him—it was apparent he wasn’t a big talker—then she’d find out through his actions and through others. It was going to have to be the best she could do.

  And she could do this, she reminded herself.

  Brie cleared her throat. “Well then, it’s nice to meet all of you. Again.” She let out a small laugh, grateful that a couple of them joined her. “This isn’t awkward at all or anything.”

  Walker, the Healer she remembered, grinned. “Not at all, Brie. We’re happy you’re a Brentwood now. You know we’ve been friends with your family for a couple decades now, so we know some things about you. But it will be nice to find out more from having you in our presence.”

  Ryder sighed. “This does feel like an awkward date with the bunch of us seated like this. How about we all introduce ourselves and tell you our roles in the Pack. You might already know all of it, in fact, you do know it, but this way we can make it more formal in an informal setting since you are now our Alpha’s mate, rather than Jasper’s daughter.”

  “That sounds like a plan,” she answered back, aware Gideon’s gaze rested on her. Yet the man still hadn’t spoken. She really wished she’d speak. They hadn’t said a word to each other since they’d bonded. Considering they’d fallen asleep soon after in a tangle of limbs, the last thing she remembered of her mate was him pulling out of her.

  Not the most helpful way to begin a mating in retrospect.

  Ryder smiled softly. “Well then, Brie Brentwood, I’m Ryder Brentwood, Heir to the Pack. I’m the second oldest in our immediate family, hence why I’m the Heir and not Mitchell.”

  She stiffened for a moment at the sound of her new name coming from his lips, but tried not to show it too much. He’d said it before, of course, during the mating ceremony, but her mind had been on other things—namely trying not to pass out. She’d learn to live with the new name as many mates did, but it still didn’t seem real, despite how she’d spent the night before.

  Despite who’d she’d spent the night before with.

  Mitchell, the one with the same blue eyes, though they held a touch more pain, gave her a curt nod. “Max and I are brothers,” he said, pointing between him and another wolf with a very sweet smile. “We’re also cousins to the rest of these guys.”

  “We were all raised together,” Max said, a smile on his face. “Hence the reason why people confuse us as siblings.”

  Brie smiled at Max and held out her hand. This wolf she knew more than the rest because of his position in the Pack. “It’s good to see you, Max. The council still going well?”

  Max took her hand and kissed her inner wrist like he’d done so many times before then froze, pulling back quickly.

  Brie froze as well, aware each person in the room hadn’t moved or even dared to breathe. A low rumble came from Gideon, and she cursed at herself. Damn it, she was already ruining this mating thing, and she hadn’t even started it yet. She quickly sat back and, without thinking, leaned into Gideon’s thigh. Her wolf relaxed at the contact, and she felt her mate calm. He put his hand on her shoulder, and her wolf preened at the attention.

  It would have been nice, however, if the man would speak.

  Just one word would be nice at this point.

  Max cleared his throat, his eyes downcast. “Uh yeah, the council is going well.” He quickly shot everyone a look, his neck turning red. “Brie’s not a council member, but since her cousin is, as are a few of her friends, she helps out. Hence the reason why we know each other.” He looked at Gideon, his eyes still down. “I didn’t mean anything by the kiss. I promise. It’s just habit. It won’t happen again.”

  “See that it doesn’t,” Gideon growled out.

  Brie wanted to smack him for his rudeness just then, but instead, she warmed at the possessiveness. Maybe he did want her for more than just his position in the Pack. Though growling at his cousin probably wouldn’t help matters when it came to her fitting in.

  “We already have enough shit to deal with because of the elders,” Gideon bit out. “We don’t want them to think you and she had something going on in the past or on the side.”

  Brie deflated, shocked and hurt at his words. She blinked quickly, surprised she was starting to tear up. How quickly his words could change her emotions. She didn’t like this roller coaster ride, nor did she like the insinuation that she would even think about stepping out of her mating bonds. Honestly, she wasn’t even aware a mate could do that. The mating bonds were so strong with wolves that there was no reason to even look at another wolf, let alone act on it.

  “You have nothing to worry about,” she ground out. She refused to look at him, aware he still hadn’t spoken to her. No, he’d only spoken once, and it had been to allude to her promiscuity. Or the rumor of such a trait. Great way to start a freaking mating
.

  Walker cleared his throat. “Well, after the cousins, there’s the triplets.” He tried to smile and failed. “We’re the youngest of the bunch, but considering Kameron, Brandon, and I are all over a hundred and fifty, we’re really not that young.”

  Brie’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t realized your ages.” She blushed. “Sorry. Not that you’re old or anything. I’m just hitting my thirties, so I guess I’m the baby in the room.”

  Brandon, the Omega of the Pack, smiled, and she cursed at herself. What had she been thinking with her emotions going all over the place? Now that she was a Talon member, Brandon would have been able to feel every emotion she felt. It would take time for him to learn her thread and be able to aid her pain or feel her true happiness, but he’d be able to feel her hurt and anxiety. The man hadn’t spoken though. Like her uncle and cousin who were Omegas, they had enough going on in their own minds and hearts that they didn’t speak much. She’d love to get to know Brandon more since her Uncle Maddox was one of her favorite people, but now wasn’t the time. Especially since she could once again feel Gideon’s gaze on her.

  Frustrated, she turned to her mate, only to find that he’d shifted his attention elsewhere. It stung, but she pushed that away. It wasn’t as if this was a normal mating. They’d never promised love, just protection and duty. She’d learn to deal with her new life.

  Eventually.

  The last of the Brentwoods, Kameron, scowled then gave her a nod. She knew he was the Enforcer, charged with protecting the Pack from outside enemies. He had to be one of the strongest wolves in the room because of the duties placed before him, but she didn’t know him well enough to judge him. That would come though.

  She’d learn each and every one of them and eventually find a way to make her place within the Pack. She knew who she was when she’d been a Redwood. Now she was a Talon. The Alpha female.

  And so freaking lost.

  “So, we’re going on a Pack hunt tonight?” she asked, trying to break through the tension. Maybe if Gideon would actually speak to her, it wouldn’t feel so awkward, but she didn’t see anything changing soon. If this was how it was going to be for the rest of their mating, she’d have to change something. She might be a submissive, but she refused to lie down and bare her belly, letting others walk over her. Everyone would just have to learn that.