A Bicycle Made For Two

by Mary Jayne Baker

  ‘Sorry.’

  I squinted at the pair as they separated. There was a shocking clash of colour. If people would insist on dyeing their hair like that, there should at least be some sort of system to make them harmonise. Red and pink, it made your eyes water.

  Suddenly, Stewart burst out laughing. He slapped the lad heartily on the back.

  ‘Good for you, mate.’

  ‘Cheers, Stew.’

  Deano. But that wasn’t the worst of it.

  ‘Hello, darling,’ Yolanda said, patting her ruffled hair back into place. ‘Did we overdo it a little on the prosecco?’

  I tried to focus on anything but the dizzying haze of hair colour.

  ‘Deano?’ I mumbled. ‘What’re you doing out here?’

  ‘Er, getting off with Yo-yo.’ He squinted at me. ‘You ok, Lanasaurus? You look well hammered.’

  I glared at him. ‘What, Jaz is too young but Yo-yo’s all right? She’s old enough to be your mum.’

  He shrugged. ‘So? It’s just a bit of fun. Anyway, it was in my cards. The Lovers.’

  From the corner of one bleary eye I thought I saw someone at the door of the pub, but when I glanced round there was no one there.

  ‘We’re both adults, aren’t we, darling?’ Yolanda said to me. ‘I don’t know why you need to be so judgmental, it’s really none of your business.’ She was smirking like the cat that got the cheese, or whatever the phrase is.

  ‘Well, excuse us, guys,’ Stewart said. ‘I’ve got a drunk lady I need to deliver to her brother. Have a good night, eh? Go easy on the elderflower gin, Deano, it packs a wallop.’ He winked at Yolanda. ‘As someone who got a snog off him earlier, trust me, you’re in for a treat.’

  ‘Oh God. Jaz’ll be devastated,’ I mumbled as Stewart guided me away.

  Chapter 35

  One monster hangover and six working days later, it was the first Sunday in November. A layer of crunchy leaves on the cobbles and a winter-is-coming tang in the air took pains to remind me autumn was on its way out.

  The restaurant didn’t usually open Sundays, but that afternoon we had a wedding reception booked so it was all hands on deck, me and Jaz waitressing and Deb on bar while Tom helped Deano in the kitchen. I was still limiting Jasmine’s kitchen shifts in the hope it might make the upcoming separation from her one true love a little easier.

  ‘You’re in a good mood,’ I said to her after we’d served the last table and were taking a time out by the front desk. She’d been humming to herself all afternoon.

  ‘Yeah. Got my student loan approved last week.’ She squeezed my arm. ‘It’s really happening, Lana! Me and Mum are going to look at my halls on Thursday.’

  I smiled. ‘Well, I’m very jealous. Good for you, love.’

  Her face fell. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I know you wanted to go.’

  ‘Talk about it as much as you like, don’t mind me,’ I said. ‘I’m just worried about finding another waitress who’ll work as hard. Will you want shifts in the holidays?’

  ‘Oh, could I? Yes please.’

  ‘Thought you’d need the beer money. You, er… you still working for Billy?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s given me a few hours a week till after Christmas. Don’t worry, I won’t let it interfere with my shifts here.’

  I hesitated. Deano and Yolanda were still fooling around, and if Jaz was working in the pub it was only a matter of time until she got to hear about it.

  ‘I’m glad you’re excited about going to uni,’ I said, trying to sound casual. ‘I thought you might miss… someone.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Well, Deano.’ I sighed. ‘Look, Jaz, this is going to be hard for you to hear, but – ’

  ‘He’s sleeping with that old lady from the WI? Yeah, I know.’

  ‘What? How do you know?’

  She shrugged. ‘I saw them snogging at the pub. That night the bike shop guy had to help you home? I followed you out to see if you were ok. Anyway, everyone’s been talking about it.’

  ‘And you’re not upset?’

  ‘Not as much as I thought. It’s weird, but actually, soon as I saw them… it’s like, before, I thought there was something wrong with me when he wasn’t interested. But now it sort of feels like it’s his problem. Know what I mean?’

  ‘Kind of.’ I blinked, bewildered at the dizzying speed of teenage attachments. ‘I thought you loved him.’

  ‘I do. But it’s not the same.’ She grimaced. ‘I mean, she’s like the same age as my nan. I can’t find him sexy after that.’

  I smiled. ‘Well, I don’t think she’s quite that old. What age is your nan?’

  ‘Fifty-nine.’

  ‘Oh. Yeah, that’s not far off actually.’ I shook my head. ‘God, you’re young. So you’re going to be ok?’

  ‘Think so. It’s sad, losing that feeling, but he just isn’t the person I thought he was.’

  ‘Really? He’s exactly the person I thought he was.’

  ‘I thought it was you he liked. That’s what was tough, because you’re so pretty and funny and… and nice. It made me feel rubbish, thinking I couldn’t compete. But someone like that Yolanda – it all looks different now.’

  ‘Aww. You’re sweet.’ I gave her arm a pat. ‘I’m sorry I made you feel bad. I told you, there never was anything with me and him. Just mates.’

  ‘Yeah, I get that now. Sorry for being jealous.’

  ‘So do you think you’re ok to go back on KP duty?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Might be nice to spend some time with Deano actually, now my head’s sorted. I hope we’ll still be friends.’

  ‘Thank God,’ I said with a sigh of relief. ‘Staff schedules are a nightmare when you’re in love.’

  She laughed and kissed my cheek. ‘Well, thanks for looking out for me. You’re a good boss. And a good friend.’

  There didn’t seem anything to add to that. I just beamed and gave her arm another pat.

  Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to find a glum-looking Cameron behind me.

  ‘Hi, Lana. Didn’t think you’d be open.’

  ‘We’re not. Private function.’

  ‘Oh. Your brother’s not around then?’

  ‘Sorry, he’s on kitchen duty. I’m just about to take an hour’s break though, if you fancy a cuppa?’

  ‘Yeah, sounds nice. Thanks.’

  Upstairs, I flipped the kettle on while Cameron made himself comfy with his old friend Flash.

  ‘Guessing Tommy told you about us reaching target,’ I called through the kitchenette door. ‘Great news, right? Looks like as soon as our grant goes through, it’ll be plain sailing viaduct-wise. Hey, still tea for you?’

  No answer. I poked my head round the door. Cam was petting Flash blankly.

  ‘You ok?’

  ‘Yeah.’ He shook his head. ‘Sorry, did you ask me something?’

  ‘Just if you wanted tea.’

  ‘Oh. Yes, please.’

  He looked tired. I abandoned tea-making and sank down next to him.

  ‘Upset, love?’ I said gently.

  ‘A bit. Did Tom tell you we had a row?’

  ‘Yeah. I thought you’d made up.’

  ‘We did, but it’s still…’ He sighed. ‘There’s this thing with my parents.’

  ‘I know, he’s been wracked with angst about it. Why’s it so important to you that he meets them?’

  ‘It’s them more than me.’ He gave Flash an absent tickle between the ears. ‘I told them I was seeing someone and it was sort of serious, and they’ve been nagging me about bringing him round ever since. And now it’s even worse, with Christmas coming up. Mum keeps asking if I’m bringing him to our family dinner on Boxing Day. My grandparents are flying over from the States, and my sister’ll be up from London… pretty big de
al.’

  It certainly was. I could just imagine Tom’s panic when Cam had sprung that one on him.

  ‘Maybe you told them too soon,’ I said.

  ‘Maybe. I was excited, you know? That I’d finally met someone who might be…’ He flushed. ‘Well, you know.’

  I curled an arm around his shoulders and gave them a scrunch. ‘Yeah, I know.’

  ‘And it’s been two months now. That’s not really early days any more, is it?’

  ‘Did you tell Tom all this?’

  ‘He doesn’t get it. Whenever I bring it up he changes the subject.’ He sighed. ‘And it’s not just Mum and Dad, it is me as well. Feels symbolic, meeting the family. That it’ll show he thinks we’re properly committed.’

  ‘He does think that, honestly. He really likes you, Cam. I mean, really likes you.’

  ‘He tell you that?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  He was silent a minute. ‘Then how come he doesn’t tell me?’

  ‘Worried about scaring you, I guess,’ I said. ‘Worrying’s kind of his thing.’

  ‘Has he had a lot of boyfriends?’

  I frowned. ‘Not sure it’s for me to say. Why don’t you ask him?’

  ‘I don’t want him to think I’m obsessed with his past or anything. Just curious if he’s been through this before, that’s all.’

  I hesitated.

  ‘No,’ I said at last. ‘A few, but nothing really long-term. He’ll kill me for telling you, but this is probably his longest relationship.’

  ‘Really?’ He blinked in surprise. ‘How come?’

  I shrugged. ‘We’ve neither of us been dating much, the last few years. And it’s harder for Tom, shy as he is and gay too. It’s not like there are loads of options round here.’

  ‘He could go out on the scene. Online dating maybe.’

  I laughed. ‘What, you don’t know him better than that by now?’

  ‘Yeah, all right,’ he admitted. ‘Not very Tom, I guess.’

  ‘He’s always happier hiding in his comfort zone than forcing himself into terrifying social situations. Tommy’s a romantic at heart: too many Disney films when we were kids. Thought if he waited long enough, the perfect lad’d land in his lap.’ I gave his shoulder a pat. ‘And he was right, see? He’s dead picky, you should be flattered you pass muster.’

  He smiled. ‘I am. I just wish we could be a real couple. Do the hand-holding in public, the family parties, all the usual stuff.’

  ‘Give it time.’

  ‘I’d give it time if I knew how much. Tom keeps saying it’s too early, and when I press him he shuts down the conversation.’ He sighed. ‘I need to know if we’re going somewhere, before… I don’t want to get my heart broken, Lana.’

  ‘You won’t, not by Tom. Oh! That reminds me.’ I went to the coffee table and rummaged in the drawer. ‘He won’t mind me giving you this. Saves him bringing it round.’

  Cameron took the envelope I handed him, frowning. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Just a letter. Nothing scary, promise. Tom had something he wanted to say in writing.’

  ‘Shall I open it now?’

  ‘I think he wants you to do it when you’re alone. It’s sort of personal.’

  ‘Hmm. Ok.’ He stashed it in his jeans pocket.

  If I was hoping my pep talk might’ve bucked him up, I was wrong. He looked more depressed than when he’d arrived.

  ‘Let me get your tea.’ I handed him the TV remote. ‘Here you go, find a cartoon to cheer yourself up. Back in a sec.’

  Actually I was back in half a sec. I was no sooner in the kitchenette than Cameron called to me.

  ‘Lana! Quick!’

  I went back into the living room. He was staring in horror at the TV.

  ‘What is it, Cam?’

  ‘It’s the viaduct,’ he whispered. ‘Local news are there. Look.’

  I glanced at the telly, and my eyes widened. There was Sienna Edge and a load of people with placards and megaphones, a giant Save the Barbastelles banner stretched across the viaduct’s arches.

  Chapter 36

  I stared, transfixed, at the screen.

  ‘Oh my God! What the hell’s she doing?’

  ‘I thought you said there weren’t any bats,’ Cameron said.

  ‘Yeah, but she doesn’t know that. We can’t announce it till we get the official report.’ I examined the crowd. ‘Shit, there must be 50 protesters! We have to get down there, Cam.’

  ‘Us? What can we do?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just know we have to get down there.’

  I grabbed my coat and flew down to the restaurant, Cameron hot on my heels.

  ‘Jaz, Deb, there’s been an emergency,’ I panted when I caught up with them at the bar. ‘Can you manage without me for an hour?’

  Debbie frowned. ‘Well no, not really. We’ve got all the tables to clear when this lot finish eating.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be such a drama queen, Deb, there’s only a few,’ Jasmine said. ‘Go on, Lana, if it’s urgent.’

  I smiled gratefully. ‘Cheers, Jaz. Me and Cameron need to get to the viaduct. Tell our Tom where we’ve gone, will you?’

  ‘She’s always doing this lately,’ I heard Deb mutter as we headed out. ‘That viaduct’s a distraction. No wonder business is bad.’

  ‘Be nice,’ Jaz whispered back. ‘She misses her dad.’

  It was only a ten-minute walk to the viaduct. When we got there, we discovered it was worse than we thought.

  What had looked like 50 people on the TV was at least 75, maybe a hundred, plus a shedload of TV cameras and photographers. Sienna must’ve rallied every wildlife activist in the area. She might be fanatical to the point of madness when it came to bats, but she wasn’t half press-savvy.

  There were some pretty gruesome placards to go with the giant banner. ‘Stop this cruelty!’ one screamed. ‘Hands off our home!’ said another, presumably written by a highly literate bat. One simply said ‘Murderers’. So that was nice.

  ‘Oh God, this is awful,’ Cameron muttered. ‘What do we do, Lana?’

  ‘We have to get to Batwoman. God knows what she’s saying to those cameras.’

  We barged through the crowd to Sienna Edge, who was at the front talking to a news presenter.

  ‘… and the disdain of the Egglethwaite viaduct campaign group has been nothing short of staggering,’ I heard her saying as we approached. ‘Despite many letters in the local press expressing our concerns, and my repeated invitations to them to respond, they have totally ignored us while steaming blindly ahead with their plans. This has been typical of their behaviour from the start.’

  ‘Which is sort of ironic, isn’t it?’ the young reporter said.

  Sienna frowned. ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘Well, you know. Steaming blindly ahead. Bats, as in blind as a?’ He grinned nervously. I was sensing this might be his first big assignment.

  Sienna glared at him. ‘That’s a myth. Some bat breeds have eyesight three times as good as ours. But of course, human arrogance knows no bounds when it comes to dismissing other species as inferior.’

  The lad looked sheepish. ‘Do they? I didn’t know that.’

  ‘Of course you didn’t. You never bothered to find out, did you?’ Sienna clocked Cameron and me as we made it to the front, and her face spread into a smug smile. ‘Speaking of the viaduct group, here’s one of their spokespeople now.’ She gestured to me. ‘Perhaps you’d like to ask this person for a comment, Ivan? In the interests of balance.’

  ‘Of course.’ Ivan turned to look at me. ‘Oh. You mean this lady?’

  ‘I do.’

  He beckoned me in front of the camera, looking faintly puzzled. I glanced down and winced when I realised I was still wearing my medieval costume. So that’s why Sienna had picked on me and
not Cameron. She’d spotted another opportunity to humiliate us.

  ‘Why are you in fancy dress?’ Ivan asked.

  I snatched the mop cap off my head and stuffed it hastily into my skirt band. ‘It’s my work uniform. I own a theme restaurant.’

  ‘Oh. How odd. So would you care to give us your statement, Miss…?’

  ‘Donati. Lana Donati. Yes, Ivan, I’d be happy to.’ I smiled sweetly at him, then glared at Sienna. ‘She’s bloody insane, that’s my statement.’

  I could see Cameron in the crowd. He shook his head, a warning, but I ignored him.

  Ivan put one hand over his mic. ‘We’re live, Miss Donutty,’ he muttered. ‘Could you please modify your language? Otherwise we’ll get letters.’

  ‘Donati. And I hope you do.’ I lifted my frown with an effort. ‘Ok. Sorry, I know you’re just doing your job.’

  ‘So I’m insane, am I?’ Sienna sneered. I could tell she was looking forward to this.

  ‘You’re more than insane,’ I snapped. ‘You’re a blood – blinking zealot, love. We tried to find a compromise, didn’t we?’

  She snorted. ‘Compromise? What compromise can there be?’

  Behind the camera I noticed Stewart, newly arrived and whispering to a worried-looking Cameron.

  ‘We offered to rehome the bats,’ I said to Sienna. ‘Absolute minimum loss of life.’

  ‘Not good enough. Barbastelle is a highly endangered species, every one is precious.’ Sienna rummaged in a file and held a laminated photograph up to the TV camera. ‘Look. This is what they’ll be sacrificing in pursuit of sordid, dirty profit.’

  The picture showed a baby barbastelle, its tiny pug face staring appealingly into the camera while it snuggled into its wings like a blanket. It was adorable. Little bugger.

  ‘Aww,’ Ivan said, simpering.

  ‘Aren’t you supposed to be impartial?’ I demanded.

  ‘Sorry. Reflex.’ He cleared his throat, making an effort to knit his brow into serious newsman face. ‘Perhaps we can move on from hyperbole and get to some hard facts. Can you explain your group’s plans for the viaduct, Miss Donut – er, Donati?’

  ‘We want to open it as a right of way.’ I blinked into the camera, suddenly aware that the world – or at least large parts of West and North Yorkshire – was watching. ‘My late father pioneered the idea, and we’re continuing with it in his memory.’