True Desires

by Rhea Wilde

  And do you give it to them?

  I knew better than to pry. I wanted to but I barely knew anything about him.

  “I see,” I said. “I don’t really have to imagine too much. I’m pretty sure I’m not like the rest of them.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “I can see this crowd. I’m a little… older than them.”

  “How old are you?”

  Even Noah knew it was a mistake to say that. He caught himself immediately, hiding his embarrassment behind another swig of beer.

  “I’m sorry,” he said as he choked it down. “Never ask a woman how old she is.”

  “It’s all right,” I said with a laugh. “I’m not offended. How old are you?”

  “You didn’t answer my question and you want me to answer yours? That’s not how this works.”

  “I don’t think there are any rules as to how it works.”

  “Yeah, I guess not,” Noah shrugged and finished the rest of his beer. “I’m almost twenty-one.”

  “Almost twenty-one?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What does almost mean?”

  “It means I’m almost twenty-one. It means what it means.”

  “So… Wait, you’re… twenty?”

  “But I’m almost twenty-one.”

  “Wait a second… You’re not even old enough to drink.”

  “I made a lot of friends working on cars. The bartender never asks for an ID. He’s a good guy, too.”

  “Right…”

  Noah started working on his second beer. He raised his eyebrows at me as he took a sip. He looked young. But at my age, everybody looked young. I just didn’t realize how young he was. He must have noticed something was wrong from the way I looked at him.

  “Are you all right?” he asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “No, I’m fine. It’s just… I’m twice your age, that’s all.”

  “You’re forty?”

  “No, I’m thirty-seven. I’m about to turn thirty-eight in a few days.”

  “Oh… Then you’re not twice my age.”

  “I might as well be.”

  “No,” he said as he shook his head. “Twice my age would be forty. You’re thirty-eight.”

  “It’s practically the same thing. I’ve been told to start getting used to it.”

  “It’s two years! That’s a big difference.”

  “All right, I’m only thirty-seven going on thirty-eight.”

  “That’s the spirit.”

  Despite the absurd revelation, I managed to keep a smile on my face. Noah grinned in a way that made me wonder if the alcohol was already beginning to have an effect on him. As I took another sip of beer, I noticed the smirk on his face hadn’t gone away. I suddenly became embarrassed at the way he looked at me. My cheeks flushed and I shifted my eyes down at the two empty bottles in front of Noah that had come out of nowhere.

  “I’m really glad you came out here with me,” he said. “You’re good company.”

  “Am I? You look like you’ve got a lot of friends. Is it that hard for you to find good company?”

  “Yeah but they’re customers. They’re nice to me for a reason.”

  “Well, you saved my life,” I said. “That makes me a little more grateful than someone who needs an oil change.”

  “Yeah, maybe. But I never really talk to any of them. I mean, really talk. I feel… I feel like I can tell you anything and you wouldn’t care. When I talk to other people, it feels like I’m being judged. With you, it’s just… It’s just talking.”

  The grin on Noah’s face was gone. He was being sincere. I could see that much in his eyes. I never imagined I would hear something so heartfelt in the middle of a place like this.

  “I feel the same way,” I said. “It’s been nice talking to you… Getting to know you a little better.”

  “Come here,” he said suddenly. “I want to show you something.”

  He grabbed me by the hand and practically dragged me out of my chair. I bounced out of my seat and limped forward while he guided me through the crowd. A few seconds later, he pushed on a door and pulled me outside into an alleyway.

  It was dark except for the streetlights in the distance and the moonlight shining down from the sky. The sound of the bar was distant but the building vibrated with life. Cats meowed as they searched for food in the nearby dumpsters.

  I looked around, slightly confused at my sudden surroundings.

  “What was it you wanted to show me?” I asked.

  “I just needed a breath of fresh air,” he sighed. “Sometimes the smoke and the conversation makes the air a little thin.”

  “Oh… Yeah, you’re right.”

  I inhaled a deep breath through my nostrils and a sudden rush of energy surged through me. The beer I just had was enough to make me feel unsteady but also make me more sensitive. For a moment, despite my injuries, I felt better than I had in a long time.

  “Listen,” Noah said to me. “I’m really glad you came by to visit earlier today. Really.”

  He took my hands in his suddenly. I looked down at them, paralyzed by a sudden rush of feelings. Feelings I couldn’t remember ever having.

  “I had to thank you,” I said. “Remember?”

  “You didn’t have to stop by though. You really didn’t.”

  “It was nothing… Noah, I…”

  I looked up and his face was right in front of mine. I’d never gotten a better look into his eyes than this moment. Two blue dots, illuminated in the middle of the darkness, drilling a hole into me.

  Is this really happening?

  His blue eyes slowly started to disappear as his eyes narrowed. My eyes slowly began to close on their own. My hands still in his, another part of him pressed against me. Soft lips pushing against mine. The rough texture of the hair on his face pressed against my cheek.

  I sighed a soft breath into his mouth. The wetness of his tongue began to probe forward and mine moved forward to meet it.

  My senses were overwhelmed. Everything was distant. The sound of the club was miles away. The noisy traffic was in another world. The police sirens blared but I ignored it.

  But the siren only got louder and louder until a flash of light joined it.

  Noah pulled away from me and took a step back. My eyes flew open and were immediately met with bright white headlights to go along with some annoying blue and red lights.

  “What’s going on over here?”

  I stood there paralyzed as a man walked up to Noah and me. I was somewhat relieved to see he was a man in uniform.

  “Nothing, officer,” Noah said. “We were just having a breath of fresh air.”

  The cop pointed his flashlight at the two of us while another officer exited the vehicle.

  “It didn’t look like nothing,” the cop said. “It looked like a lot more than that.”

  “Did you get a good look?” Noah responded. “I bet you enjoyed it.”

  “You know we don’t like that kind of thing in our town.”

  “What kind of thing?” I joined in.

  “You know what I’m talking about. Girls walking up and down the street. What kind of a look is that for our city?”

  “W-what?” I exclaimed. “Did you just—”

  “Nah, she’s not a hooker.”

  A voice came from another figure standing in the light. The other officer who exited the vehicle was a female. She looked stern despite her small frame. She had her hands on her hips as she eyeballed me up and down.

  “I don’t think any money is changing hands,” she continued.

  “All right, get a room or get out of here,” the male officer barked at us.

  The cops drove off and darkness fell back on the alleyway. I stood there in disbelief, still confused and startled at everything that just happened. My eyes shifted back and forth on the ground as I tried to regain my bearings.

  “Are you all right?” Noah asked, his hands on my shoulders.
r />   I looked up at him and he appeared to be just as confused as I was. After a few seconds, he smiled at me and I did the same, chuckling to myself.

  “We should probably…” I started. “It’s getting kinda late for me. I mean—”

  “It’s okay. I think there are more patrols out tonight. Let’s go finish our drinks and I’ll walk you home,” he said.

  “Sounds good.”

  Chapter 7

  It felt like a dream all over again. Everything that happened. None of it seemed real. But I could remember all of it. The crowded bar. The loud music. The smell of the smoke. The taste of the beer. And him.

  I remember the way he smiled at me. The way he listened to me when I spoke. The way he kissed me.

  It couldn’t have been real even if it felt like it did…

  I awoke the next morning to the sound of my cell phone. The same cell phone he grabbed and dialed his number into. The memories of what happened last night were still fresh in my mind. When I answered the phone, the pleasant memories of my dream were gone.

  A phone call from the hospital. It sounded like a joke. But it was their real number and I didn’t see why one of their doctors would bother calling me in to waste my time.

  My heart was filled with fear and anxiety. As I looked out of the window of my cab, I rested my arm against the door. My arm trembled in nervous anticipation. A nail found its way between my teeth. It was something I hadn’t done since I was younger. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like this.

  When I arrived, I rushed out of the taxi as quickly as I could. I made my way through the hospital halls, questioning every person in scrubs, trying to find some sense of where I was supposed to go. The sprawling hospital always had a way of seeming that much more massive when you had to find something… someone.

  The nurses were kind enough to point me in the right direction and I found my destination. I opened the door to the hospital room.

  I was already anticipating the worst. My expectations didn’t prepare me for what was there.

  A man stood there in his long, white coat as he went over a piece of paper on a clipboard. But I wasn’t focused on him. All I could see was the young woman, just a girl, laid up in the hospital bed.

  She laid there peacefully, her eyes closed. Her face was bruised with tiny lacerations on it. Tubes plugged into her arm. Monitors beeped to keep track of her vital signs.

  The sight of it made me sick to my stomach. I instinctively put a hand to my mouth but it wasn’t enough to stop the sound that came out. It was something like a horrified but muffled yelp.

  It got the man’s attention and he turned to look at me.

  “Oh. I didn’t notice you come in. Are you Sheila Cooper?”

  I nodded.

  “I’m Dr. Braun,” he continued. “I’m sorry for bothering you.

  “No,” I said as I shook my head. “It’s all right.”

  “I’m assuming you know Kimberly Woods.”

  “I do.”

  “She’s been in and out of here before. The reason I called you was because you were the only one she listed on her emergency contact list.”

  “That’s fine,” I assured him. “I… It’s… What happened?”

  “I don’t know what happened. Police brought her in a couple of hours ago. Apparently, they found her like this. It’s fortunate they did.”

  I took a step closer and stood right next to her. Kimmy always looked so tiny and frail. She was a young woman, a girl, and she looked like it. But I’d never seen her as fragile as this moment.

  I swallowed after feeling something building in my throat.

  “We had to sedate her,” he said. “We had to do some surgery to stop the bleeding. There were some internal injuries that had to be taken care of.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “I can’t answer that specifically. As I said earlier, the police found her and she was alone. But it appears to be blunt trauma.”

  “Blunt trauma? Like a weapon?”

  “Most likely. The bruises on her arms indicate she was probably grabbed. She’s small, so a bigger man wouldn’t have any trouble overpowering her.”

  It was hard for me to see her like this. I turned to the doctor and he stared back at me. He stood there calmly, his arms behind his back.

  “Will she be all right?” I asked.

  “It’s too early to tell,” he said. “At this point, there’s little more that we can do.”

  He took a step toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

  “We’ve done everything we can,” he continued. “Her body has to heal on its own, if it can.”

  “What about me? What do I do?”

  “You? I don’t think there’s anything you can do, Miss Cooper. But… I suppose hoping for the best wouldn’t hurt.”

  “What kind of a person would do this?”

  “I—”

  “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “I understand. I’ll give you a moment with her but then you’ll have to leave. I’m not allowed to have guests unmonitored with patients in this state outside of visiting hours.”

  He nodded to me and left me alone in the hospital room with her. Alone with Kimmy, I took a chair and sat down right next to her.

  “Why?”

  I shook my head as I stared at her tiny frame, her chest moving up and down slightly as she breathed.

  “Vincent… Victor…”

  I racked my brain for a few seconds, trying to remember the name.

  “Castle. Victor Castle.”

  I had a bad feeling when she told me. It didn’t make me happy to find out I was right so quickly.

  I looked at Kimmy’s face, so peaceful and calm as I spoke to her.

  “It’s going to be all right, okay?”

  A sudden burst of emotions began working its way into my throat. I blinked my eyes to maintain my focus and swallowed down so I could finish speaking to her.

  “I’m going to find out what happened and I’m going to get to the bottom of this… Just… Just hang in there for me, all right? Can you hear me? Listen to me, Kimmy. I… I care about you. So, don’t just give up on me. You still…”

  It was hard for me to take much more but I had to finish. I inhaled a deep breath and swallowed again.

  “You still have your whole life ahead of you. You can’t stop now, okay? I’m waiting for you. I’ll be here for you.”

  I didn’t look at her a second longer. I exited the room and paced my way back through the hospital halls. The lingering injury to my knee didn’t hurt as much as it used to. It was there but I managed to ignore it completely. I was determined.

  I hopped into the back of the cab and the driver turned to me.

  “Where to, Miss?”

  As he stared at me and waited for my response, it hit me.

  Now what?

  Where could I go? What could I really do? All I had was a name. It wasn’t much. There wasn’t anything I could do with it. Could I shout it from the rooftops until I got a response? Could I start questioning every suspicious person I met? How was I supposed to help Kimmy?

  “I…”

  “Listen, lady. Are you goin’ somewhere or what? Otherwise, I’ve gotta look for another fare.”

  “No, it’s all right. Just… take me to the shelter. The shelter on 8th.”

  I contemplated everything I just saw while I headed back to the shelter. I didn’t have many options. I only knew I had to do something.

  When I arrived, the shelter didn’t look much different from the way it usually did. Everybody had their own business. What happened to Kimmy wasn’t their problem.

  I stepped inside and Marie was there to greet me.

  “Didn’t I tell you not to come in here—”

  “It’s Kimmy,” I said. “She’s in the hospital.”

  “What? What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out.”

  “Is she
going to be okay?”

  “The doctors say it’s too early to tell.”

  “Sheila, I’m sorry…”

  “I know. I’m fine. I just need to… Have you seen Max anywhere?”

  “He’s around here somewhere.”

  “Thanks.”

  I made my way through the shelter, searching every corner like I had lost something. It wasn’t until I stepped outside that I found him.

  Max was getting his hands dirty with some of the inhabitants of the shelter. They were all sweating underneath the sun, working on the shelter’s small garden. They picked at the dirt with pitchforks and hoes, scraping dark mud like you imagined a farmer would.

  “You gotta till the soil real nice,” Max said. “That way it soaks up all the water. You don’t want it drying up in the heat. Everything will go to waste. It’ll all be worth it in the fall though. You guys can trust me on that.”

  “Max.”

  He turned up and looked at me as I walked up to him.

  “Hey! Look who it is! How are you doing? Marie told me you hurt yourself.”

  “I’m fine,” I said as I put my hands up. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t look fine.”

  “It’s not that. It’s something else. Please. Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure. Just give me a second… Don’t stop working, guys. We can’t let the heat beat us.”

  Max dropped his tool and wiped the dirt off his hands with a towel tied to his belt. We found a spot to the side with some shade.

  “This looks serious,” he said. “You’ve got that look in your eye.”

  “What look?” I asked.

  “That look. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s not something I usually see out of you.”

  “Well, this is serious. Do you know Kimmy?”

  “Kimmy…”

  “She’s one of the girls I’m counseling.”

  “Oh, her. The little pale girl. I’ve seen her. What about her?”

  “The police found her, half-dead. She’s in the hospital right now.”

  “You don’t say…”

  “They don’t know what happened.”

  “Man…”

  Max looked down at the ground and shook his head, disgust on his face like he was ill.

  “What kind of a sick person would do something like that?”