True Desires

by Rhea Wilde

  “That’s it,” Lee replied.

  I turned around to leave when suddenly the two doors of the office burst open. My eyes widened in confusion as Noah suddenly walked in. His arms and shirt were covered in grease, like he was in the middle of something. His jeans were just as stained and dirty. But more surprising was the look on his face. His brow was furrowed. He looked angry and I wasn’t sure if I were seeing things right.

  The receptionist Robin trailed behind him as Noah paced toward Lee and me.

  “I’m sorry,” Robin said. “Security let him up because he said he was with Miss Cooper. He just barged in—”

  “It’s all right,” Lee said as he put his hand up. “You can leave us.”

  Robin excused herself and shut the double doors closed.

  I stared at Noah and the expression on his face hadn’t changed.

  “Speak of the devil,” Lee said. “If it isn’t the city’s most popular mechanic.”

  “Don’t disparage my work,” Noah replied.

  “I’m not disparaging you at all. You do good work.”

  “What did he tell you?” Noah said as he turned to me.

  “W-what? What’s going on? Noah…”

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing,” I said as I shook my head. “He just… He just said to be careful. Because of Castle. Noah… Noah, what’s wrong?”

  I was bewildered. I moved closer to put my hands on his face. I could feel him trembling. His jaw clenched. He was seething and I couldn’t figure out why.

  “Don’t trust this guy,” Noah said, his eyes locked on Lee. “You can’t trust this guy for anything.”

  “There’s no need for that,” Lee said. “I only brought Sheila here because she’s putting herself in danger—”

  “I don’t give a shit! She doesn’t need your help or your advice. Stay away from her.”

  “I don’t think you’re in any position to tell her what to do. If anybody is lying in this room, I can assure you it isn’t me.”

  I turned and looked at Lee. He had a calm look on his face. He stood there with his hands behind his back, his posture straight as it had been this entire time.

  “Noah, calm down,” I said as I turned back to him, my hands on his chest to stop him from trembling.

  “Tell her the truth,” Lee continued. “Go ahead, son.”

  The words rang in my head, my eyes locked on Noah. He had started to calm down. He was still angry but it didn’t appear he was going to do anything. That wasn’t on my mind though. Instead, I was trying to figure out what I’d just heard.

  “What are you talking about?” I said, my eyes shifted to Lee.

  “So, he hasn’t told you…”

  “Told me what?” I exclaimed.

  “That he’s my son.”

  I blinked in confusion, unsure of what I’d just heard.

  “W-what—”

  “Noah is my son. I’m his father.”

  Chapter 16

  19 years earlier…

  I used to look at people who drank all of the time and wondered why they did it. Probably because I was only in high school at the time and everybody who did it was older. I was on the outside looking in. To me, the people partying and ‘having a good time’ looked like a bunch of obnoxious drunks who were waiting for the cops to arrest them.

  That was before I had a beer. Not just a sip. The first sip I took was bitter. I nearly spit it out. But the whole beer was enough to make me open my eyes and realize that I had been missing out on a world I didn’t know existed.

  Drinking was like removing the shackles that tied your mind down. Alcohol removed your inhibitions and let you, the real you, be free. And now that I was in college, there was no better freedom than freeing my mind. I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to and there would be nobody to answer to.

  Drinking and partying removed any rational thought I had. As I watched the man next to me pour me another beer, I didn’t care about his intentions. I wanted to lose my thoughts. I wanted to lose control. I wanted to forget about everything, even if it were just for one night, one hour, one moment. There was no other feeling like it in the world.

  “Sheila!”

  I kept smiling at the guy the next to me. He had curly blond hair covered underneath a baseball cap turned around on his head. He was toned and tan like he spent a lot of time at the beach surfing. He smiled back at me as he finished pouring the beer then handed it to me.

  “Sheila!”

  The sound of my name being called out to me was distant. The music was loud and the conversations were even louder. It was a big house but it felt like everybody at the university was crammed into it. This wasn’t just a regular house party. It was a celebration.

  “Sheila!”

  A hand grabbed me and I jerked my head to see who it was.

  “Hey, Penny! What’s up?” I said to my best friend.

  “Oh, my goodness, Sheila… How many drinks have you had?”

  “I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “Does it matter?”

  “You need to see how red your face is.”

  “Who cares? I’m all right. He doesn’t seem to mind.”

  I turned and smiled at the stud next to me.

  “Sheila, let me talk to you for a second. Excuse me…”

  Penny tugged on my arm and led me through the crowd. I raised my beer up to avoid hitting anybody. I kept following Penny until we were outside. There were still a bunch of students gathered around but the open space and the fresh air gave me a chance to breathe.

  “What is it?” I said to her. “What’s going on?”

  “Hey, I’m just checking in on you, that’s all. No, seriously. How many drinks have you had?”

  “Just one,” I said with a chuckle. “This is my second one right here. You know I’m affected pretty easily.”

  “Sheila—”

  “I know, I know. Don’t worry. This isn’t the first time.”

  “Yeah but it’s the summer now. Classes are over and you’ve got a lot more free time.”

  “Exactly. Why shouldn’t we party?”

  “I’m not saying you shouldn’t. I’m just… I’m looking out for my best friend, that’s all.”

  I wasn’t completely drunk. My vision cleared up just enough to see the concern on Penny’s face. I sighed and smiled at her with a nod.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  Penny was silent. She turned her back to me and walked over to one of the chairs resting on the side of the house. While every other conversation was lively and full of energy, Penny seemed distracted. I took a seat next to her, examining the seemingly permanent concern in her eyes.

  “It’s been a year,” she said.

  Even though I was tipsy, I knew what she meant. The music thumped through the walls of the house. It seemed like everybody around us was shouting. But it all seemed so distant. It felt like there was no one else but my friend sitting next to me.

  “How are you?” she asked as she looked into my eyes.

  “I’m fine,” I said as I shook my head. “It’s been a year. That means I’ve had a year to get over it. That’s more than enough time.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Really. I… I tried contacting his parents but they said he wasn’t available. I haven’t texted him in months. It seems kinda silly to text someone without getting a response. One-sided conversations look pathetic on your phone.”

  “Good. I’m glad you’re finally starting to get over it.”

  “I… I got over it a long time ago. I deleted his number. Even if he tried to contact me, I wouldn’t know it was him. I’m not expecting him, too. The past is the past and I’m fine with it.”

  “Yeah…”

  I took a sip of my drink and sank into my chair. The alcohol flowed into me and elicited a sigh. I turned my head up then stared into the night sky, looking at all the stars.

  “I heard about him,” Penny said suddenly.

  “Wh
at?” I said. “What did you hear about?”

  “I mean, I wasn’t looking for it. I overheard some people who used to go to our school that knew him. They said he lost his football scholarship.”

  “What?”

  I couldn’t hide my surprise. Even though I’d pushed him out of my life, it was still hard for me to believe.

  “I don’t know,” she continued. “They just said there was something different about him. Something changed. He’s not playing for the team. I think he’s still going to school but he’s probably not going to get a chance to go professional.”

  “Yeah, probably not.”

  I rocked my head back in place after staring up at the sky and turned to my friend.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

  “Sheila, let me ask you something. When I just told you he lost his scholarship, how did that make you feel?”

  I shifted my eyes down to the ground in thought. The answer didn’t come to me immediately. It wasn’t just about how I felt. I knew Penny was up to something, so I had to give her the right answer. After a few moments, I knew what the right thing to say was.

  “I don’t care,” I said. “It’s over. He left me. I’m over him. So it doesn’t matter to me if he lost his scholarship or he graduated or anything else he did or didn’t do. None of that matters. He’s not a part of my life anymore. I’ve…”

  I was about to tell Penny the truth. A truth I didn’t realize until this moment.

  “…I’ve moved on. There’s no reason for me to care any longer.”

  “Good,” Penny sighed as she nodded. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you. You know, when he left me… I’d never felt so alone. Now I know I’m not.”

  “You’ll never be alone, Sheila. Even if I’m not there, someone else will be there. There’s always someone who cares about you.”

  “Yeah… Just like that guy you pulled me away from. Did you see how hot he was?”

  We shared a laugh together, the tender moment ruined by the hormones bubbling up inside of me.

  “He’s all right,” Penny said with a giggle. “Are you sure he’s the one?”

  “He’s the one… for tonight.”

  “I think you can do better.”

  “It’s not about doing better. Penny, listen. I got this thing.”

  “This thing?”

  I leaned in close to her and put my arm around her.

  “If I drink enough, I start to loosen up. It’s like my senses amplify. My skin starts to tingle. It starts to feel like I’m on fire. I come a lot harder.”

  “Sheila!”

  “What? I’m just telling you how it works. And this guy looks like he can make it work.”

  “All right,” she sighed. “If he’s the one for tonight, he’s the one for tonight. Do you have a condom?”

  “Penny… I’m drunk, not crazy.”

  “I’ve seen you drunk. It’s pretty hard to tell the difference between the two.”

  I gave her a smirk and pulled the rubber from my pocket. She gave me a nod of approval and we toasted our drinks together.

  “Have fun,” she said. “Call me if you need me.”

  “Don’t wait up,” I replied as I got up out of my seat.

  I scampered back into the house and everything returned to me. The conversation I just had with my best friend was forgotten. It was as if someone had turned the music back up. More people spilled into the house. A house full of coeds on summer break was a wild combination and I was more than happy to be caught in the middle of it.

  I searched around for the man who I was talking to and he found me.

  “There you are,” he said, looking just as tan and toned as I remembered.

  “Look who it is,” I said to him. “My knight in shining armor.”

  We toasted our glasses together. I took a sip and felt myself beginning to slip away once again.

  “Come here,” I said as I took his hand.

  He didn’t protest. I guided him to one of the other rooms where the music was loudest. I pressed my body close to his and proceeded to dance with him. I wasn’t one for dancing too much but I was having a good time and so was everybody else. Everybody had lost their inhibitions.

  He got the hint. He wrapped his arms around me as he proceeded to move in rhythm with me. He leaned in close to me and kissed my lips. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. The feeling of his tongue in my mouth sent tingles through my body. My stomach turned and forced a sigh out of me. The taste of the alcohol on his tongue only made me want him even more.

  I pressed myself harder against him. He reached down with his free hand and squeezed my ass tight. His strong grip made me giggle and squeal. My heart raced. My pulse pounded. I couldn’t fight it any longer.

  “Let’s go,” I whispered as I looked up at him. “Let’s go somewhere we can be alone.”

  He stared back into my eyes and didn’t say another word. He just nodded to me and took my hand.

  As we made our way back through the house, we put our drinks down so we could move quicker. He led me upstairs and I followed just behind him, my fingers tangled with his. There were so many rooms but we eventually found one with the door open. A quick peek inside revealed a bedroom with no one in it. We both rushed inside and slammed the door quickly.

  Less than a second later, I pounced. I jumped on him, my arms and legs wrapped around him. Our lips pressed together. Our tongues twisted into a sloppy mess. I groaned as he worked his mouth down my neck.

  The house thumped with the sound of the music downstairs. It was the only thing reminding me this wasn’t a dream.

  He carried me through the dark bedroom and tossed me on the bed. I sat up just enough to take my shirt and bra off. He removed his shirt to expose a flattering set of abs and pectorals. In the darkness of the room, the moonlight coming in from the window highlighted the definition of his body. I started picking at my skirt and panties while he undid his jeans. We were in a frenzy to get started and every second felt like an eternity too long.

  When he lowered his boxers and his cock sprang up, the anticipation was too much for me. I was starving and the first bite couldn’t come soon enough.

  “Come here,” I said. “Get nice and hard for me.”

  I leaned forward and took his cock into my mouth. He groaned and I went down deeper.

  He slowly turned around while I continued to go down on him. We switched places and he laid on the edge of the bed, his feet pressed on the floor. I crouched between his legs on my knees. My head rocked back and forth. I wanted to satisfy every inch of his length as best I could.

  “Oh, God…” he moaned. “You’re amazing.”

  I know, I am, aren’t I?

  Hearing his satisfaction was like nothing else. I got good grades. People told me I was hard-working. A lot of people wanted to be my friend. But there was nothing quite like hearing a man moan just from the way I worked my mouth. And I was beginning to grow proud of the way I worked it.

  “What’s your name?” he sighed.

  I smacked my lips at his length, ignoring what he said. I thought I’d misheard him at first.

  “What’s your name?” he said again.

  I stopped him for a second to stroke him. Spit dripping down my mouth and gasping for breath, I looked up at him.

  “What?” I said, even though I’d already heard the question.

  “What’s your name?” he said. “I’m Cody—”

  “Shh,” I interrupted him. “I don’t need to know your name. You don’t need to know mine. I don’t care.”

  “But—”

  “Listen, this is just about tonight. That’s it. Let’s not make it complicated.”

  He looked down at me and our eyes locked together. I widened my eyes at him, waiting for a response. He eventually nodded to me then dropped his head back down on the mattress. I sighed at the sudden interruption. For a moment, I had a sobering moment of c
larity. In a bedroom with a stranger I’d just met less than a few minutes ago, I was already as intimate with him as every other man I’d been with.

  I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts then reached into the pocket of my skirt to pull out the condom. I sheathed his length then quickly climbed on top of him.

  “This is just about tonight,” I sighed as I slowly lowered myself down onto him. “Nothing more…”

  I closed my eyes as my lips parted for him. I swallowed his length whole. The wetness leaked out from me and spilled out onto his groin. We groaned in unison as he buried himself deep inside of me.

  My hands moved forward and gripped his chest. My body started to grind against him. My senses had been consumed.

  As the music continued to thump through the house, I rocked my body to the rhythm. Nothing else existed except the pleasure. That was all that mattered.

  Chapter 17

  Noah had started to calm down. His chest still heaved, but I could feel his body shaking less underneath my palm. He breathed hard through his nostrils as I stared into his eyes.

  Blue eyes. Those same blue eyes…

  I frowned softly at him and he must have seen something in the way I looked at him. The anger building up inside of him subsided. His jaw unclenched. His balled fists relaxed.

  “Noah…”

  I whispered his name. It sounded like I was saying it for the first time. It was like looking at a complete stranger but at the same time, feeling something so familiar about him.

  I slowly turned my head, my eyes still on Noah before shifting them to Lee. Lee stood there with his hands behind his back, tall and proud like he’d been this whole time. He had a blank expression on his face, his blue eyes cold as he looked back at me.

  Blue eyes. Those same blue eyes…

  It was the truth. I wasn’t sure what to think. It didn’t matter though because there was nothing I could do about it. I was still trying to wrap my head around what I just heard I didn’t even have time to consider Noah’s sudden appearance and emotional outburst.

  “It’s true,” I said as I took a step back from Noah and pulled my hand away from him. “He is your father.”

  I stared at Noah in disbelief.