Hearts of Blue

by L.H. Cosway

  “I’m fine. Nothing a hot bath and a few beers won’t fix.”

  His answer relieved me. Tony cleared his throat and addressed me formally. “Constable, can I speak with you outside for a moment?”

  I glanced at him and nodded. “Sure.” Rising from my seat, I frantically wondered if I’d done anything to give myself away. Had I shown too much affection when talking to Lee? I couldn’t tell.

  As soon as we were outside and the door was closed, Tony eyed me speculatively. “Are you feeling okay?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah. No different from usual.”

  “You’re acting strangely. Why all the questions in there? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was something you’re not telling me.”

  Every muscle in my body coiled tight, and I suddenly realised how transparent I was being. I never expressed concern over a suspect’s health, not in the way I had with Lee. I also never lost my cool in interviews, or acted like I had a personal investment in the crime being investigated. Tony knew me well enough to know something was fishy.

  “Well, now that I think of it, I am having a bit of an off day. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I lied in an effort to explain my behaviour.

  Tony let out a slow breath. “You’re sure that’s all it is?”

  “Very sure.”

  “Right, well, it doesn’t look like young Mr Cross is going to give us anything we can work with. Can you escort him to a holding cell until his solicitor gets here? I’m going to bring another of the men in for questioning.”

  “Of course, I’ll do that right away,” I said, turning to go back inside the interview room.

  Sixteen

  Lee looked up as soon as I entered, glancing behind me to see if I was alone. He seemed different now that Tony was gone, less cocky and more concerned. Even his voice was different when he spoke, softer.

  “Everything all right?”

  “Yes,” I answered shortly. “Your interview is over. I’m bringing you to a holding cell until your legal advisor arrives.”

  “Hey,” said Lee, his tone gentle as I motioned for him to get up from his seat. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

  “I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. Now move. We haven’t got all day.”

  He stood, towering over me by a couple of inches, his eyes tracing my features. “What’s up with you?”

  I glared at him, incredulous, as I whisper-hissed, “Are you shitting me? You started this fight because of me, and now you expect me to act normal. This behaviour is inexcusable.”

  Lee bit his lip as though to keep from smiling at my attempt to scold him. “It is inexcusable — you’re right. But it wasn’t all for you. You know how I feel about drugs. Something had to be done.” He paused and took a step closer until there was hardly any space between us. “And if it meant I got to teach him a lesson for so much as even thinking about laying his hands on you, then all the better.” His voice was a low, husky murmur, and I felt my throat tighten with opposing emotions. I wanted to kiss him and slap him all at the same time.

  “I don’t know why you’re acting so casual right now. If Carl decides to press charges, you could get six months for aggravated assault, more if it turns out that anybody was seriously injured,” I told him.

  Lee levelled his eyes on me. “Finley won’t be pressing charges. That’s not how we do things.”

  “Oh, it’s a ‘we,’ is it? So you consider yourself the same sort of person as him? How reassuring.”

  “Not what I meant.”

  I shook my head and opened the door, gripping his upper arm to move him forward. “This conversation is over. Now start walking,” I ordered him.

  He stepped out into the corridor, and I heard loud voices up ahead.

  “Fucking hell,” Lee swore, looking to his right.

  I stepped past him just in time to see Carl Finley head-butt one of the two constables who’d been trying to escort him to an interview room. Lee positioned his body in front of mine, as though to shield me from getting caught in the crossfire. My heart clenched momentarily at the protective move, but then the officers got the upper hand, restraining Carl to the floor. The one he’d head-butted kicked him hard in the lower abdomen, and Carl grunted in pain. Seeing that they had things under control, I began to guide Lee farther down the corridor.

  He chuckled quietly as we passed by Carl, who twisted his head to look up at Lee, venom in his eyes. Lee glanced at the constable who’d kicked him, still laughing.

  “That’s bang out of order, mate.”

  “Shut it or you’ll be next,” the constable spat.

  “Just try it,” said Lee, baring his teeth.

  The constable took a step forward, but I narrowed my gaze at him and intervened just in time.

  “A little bit of professionalism wouldn’t go amiss, Connors,” I said sternly before continuing to guide Lee away.

  “You’re too good for this shit,” Lee said once we were alone again, his statement surprising me. He walked ahead of me, so all I could see was his back. I still held his upper arm, whether to keep him from running off or to appease my need to touch him, I wasn’t sure.

  When I didn’t respond, he kept talking. “I hate thinking of you being hurt, Karla, hate imagining you in all the dangerous situations you have to walk into every day.”

  His words stirred a pang of emotion in my gut, but I tried to bat it down and keep my voice steady as I whispered, “And you think that doesn’t go both ways? I hate thinking of your life just as much as you hate thinking of mine.”

  Lee didn’t breathe a word after that, and when I locked him into the cell, he stared at his hands, clearly deep in thought.

  ***

  It was four days after seeing him at the station that I decided to visit Lee’s garage. I drove over in my own car, hoping he’d be around. It was only when I arrived that I remembered they didn’t open on weekends. Engaging the handbrake, I sat there for a moment, wondering what the hell I was doing.

  The radio silence on his end worried me, and I desperately wanted to know if he was doing anything to remove himself from McGregor’s inner circle. I knew the only way he was going to be able to do it peacefully was to buy himself out, but how much would that even cost?

  I had no idea.

  Finally deciding I was being an idiot for trying to see him, I determined to go home and quit wasting my time worrying over a man who wasn’t even my partner. In the grand scale of things, very little had happened between us. We’d had sex a few times; that was it. I needed to give myself a good firm reality check.

  It was evening, and the sky was just beginning to darken when I took one last look at the doors to Lee’s garage. I furrowed my brow when I noticed something on the ground, and on closer inspection I realised it was actually someone.

  Without thinking I got out of the car, hurrying over to help the crumpled body lying in a heap. He wore a peaked cap, but when I gently pushed it up with my fingers, I saw it was Liam. Half his face was bashed in, and blood stained his clothing. Feeling for a pulse, I let out a relieved breath to find he was alive and still breathing, albeit raggedly. It took me only a few minutes to look him over and determine his injuries. His body was badly bruised and he had several painful-looking cuts, but there were no bullets or fatal wounds as far as I could tell.

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I began dialling the number for emergency services when a hand suddenly shot out, plucking the phone from my grasp. Liam was awake.

  “Don’t,” he croaked. “Just bring me home. Find Lee.”

  “You’re hurt,” I said. “You need an ambulance.”

  “No,” he went on fervently. “No ambulance, please.”

  The fierce look in his eyes gave me pause, and entirely on instinct I ran to my car, opening the back door before returning to Liam and helping him to stand. It was a good thing I was strong, because anyone else might have had a hard time getting the muscular twenty-year-old into the back of their car.
Once I had him situated, I slid into the front and started the engine, heading in the direction of Lee’s house. Glancing through the overhead mirror I saw that Liam had passed out again.

  I was already there, rushing to the front door and knocking frantically, when I wondered why I hadn’t gone to the hospital, or called the station to make a report. It was a sobering thought, and not for the first time I questioned just how much of an influence my feelings for Lee were having on my actions.

  Trevor answered the door, the smile instantly dropping from his face when he saw my panicked expression. Without saying a word, I grabbed his hand and yanked him outside, pulling him to my car and opening the back door. He swore profusely when he saw the state Liam was in, then ran back inside the house. Before I knew it, Stu and Lee were there, their entire forms twisting with rage when they saw their youngest brother. Sophie came out of the house, too, her hand going to her mouth in shock.

  I watched silently as they worked together to get him inside. They all laid him carefully down on the couch, while Sophie ran upstairs to grab a first aid kit. Once Liam was settled, Lee came to me, his hands going to my face as he looked me directly in the eyes. There was a strain in his voice, his rage barely concealed. My breathing was still frantic, my heartbeat racing.

  “Tell me what happened, Karla, and start from the beginning.”

  I quickly relayed how I’d gone to his garage to speak with him and found Liam on the ground. Trevor and Stu were mere feet away, listening to me as I spoke.

  “This has Finley written all over it,” Stu growled, his hands clenched tightly into fists.

  Lee’s fingers dropped from my face as he shot Stu a loaded glance. A hundred words were exchanged in the silence, and then all three brothers were on the move. I had no idea what was happening, but I followed Lee into the hallway, where he opened a storage closet, pulling out a baseball bat, a steel pole, and a hammer. He handed all three to Stu before running up the stairs.

  I was in too much shock to react, staring at them as they gathered munitions with my mouth open. When Lee came back downstairs, he wore a black hoodie with the zipper pulled all the way to the top. Next he tied a bandana around his face, covering everything but his eyes before pulling up his hood.

  “No,” I said, my voice harsh. “No fucking way. You’re not doing this.”

  Lee moved to step past me, but I grabbed his arm. He glared down at me, and I was startled by the fact that all I could see were his glacial blue eyes. “Stay out of it,” he grunted, ripping his arm from my hold.

  “Finley’s got to pay,” said Stu, like it was that simple. “You deal in justice, but so do we. We just have our own particular brand of punishment.”

  “Wait,” I pleaded, my thoughts scrambling as a realisation hit me. “This couldn’t have been Finley. Just listen to me for a second.”

  Lee turned, giving me his full attention, and I let out a long exhalation. “After your interview the other day, Tony’s been like a bloodhound going after Carl. He found out where he was running his drugs from and searched the place. He and a good lot of his crew were arrested and have been held in custody ever since. It couldn’t have been him.”

  Finally, the brothers were actually listening to me, and my pulse began to slow down.

  Lee pulled the bandana from his face so that it rested around his neck. “You’d better not be lying to me, Karla.”

  “Hand to heart, it’s the truth.”

  He looked to Stu, and again they had one of their silent communications.

  “Couldn’t have been Hartfield’s lot. We sorted everything out with them weeks ago,” said Stu.

  Lee ran a hand over his stubble, his mind clearly racing. “This is completely fucked. Somebody beat Liam to send a message.” Turning, he stormed into the living room, where Sophie was currently tending to Liam’s injuries. We all followed, and Lee knelt on the floor, running a soft hand over his brother’s hair.

  “Liam, mate, can you hear me?”

  At the sound of Lee’s voice, Liam’s eyes fluttered open.

  “Who did this, bruv? Did you see?”

  Liam stared at him, his attention landing on me for a second before returning to his brother. “Come ’ere,” he wheezed, motioning for Lee to get closer. When he did, Liam whispered something in his ear and Lee’s entire body went still, his every muscle coiling tight. Obviously, he hadn’t wanted me to hear whatever it was he had to say.

  When he stood, he gestured for Stu and Trevor to go into the kitchen. They both went and then Lee turned to me, taking my hand in his and pulling me out into the hallway. When he reached the front door, he drew my body close, embracing me in an unexpected hug.

  “Thank you,” he whispered into my hair. “I don’t know what you came to see me for, but if you hadn’t found Liam when you did, he could’ve been out there all night.”

  My hands fisted in his hoodie as I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his masculine scent. We stood there for a long time, holding each other, not exchanging a single word. I felt his gratitude in how tightly he held onto me, and I got the sense he had a lot of stuff churning around in his head. Drawing away a little to look up at him, I said, “I know there are things you’re not telling me, but if you need help just say the word.”

  His expression turned tender as he ran a hand over my cheek. “If I asked you to go up those stairs right now and wait for me to come back, would you do it?” he asked, his eyes piercing.

  “That wouldn’t help either of us.”

  “Right now, it’s the help I need.”

  I couldn’t say no to him, not again, so I simply shook my head. Some of the tension returned to his body as his expression sobered. “You’d better leave, then.”

  “When I say I want to help, I mean it, Lee. Stop taking everyone’s load onto your own shoulders.”

  “If you wanted to help, you’d go to my room, take off your clothes, and warm my bed,” he growled, gripping my hair and tugging gently. The sensation gave me a small tingle between my legs. “You’d make everything I own smell like you, and you’d stop leaving me all the time.”

  “When I leave, it’s not because I want to.”

  “Then stay,” he murmured, dropping his mouth to mine and allowing our lips to meet in a brief, barely there kiss.

  I stepped away from him, trying to communicate my turmoil in one tortured look.

  “Nah, didn’t think so,” Lee said harshly.

  I took a deep breath, turned on my heel, and walked out the door.

  ***

  “Bad day?” Alexis asked when I came into her room, crawled into bed beside her, and rested my head on the rounded part of her belly, which was growing bigger by the day.

  “Something like that,” I answered tiredly. “Can I sleep in here with you tonight?”

  “Sure. Want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  “Okay.”

  A quiet fell between us, and I could feel her stomach rising and falling as she breathed.

  “Have you thought about what you’re going to call the baby when it’s born?” I asked, trying to think of something that made me happy rather than something that made me sad.

  She let out a long sigh. “This is probably fucked up since he abandoned me, but if it’s a boy, I don’t think I can call him anything other than Oliver. Olivia if it’s a girl, I guess.”

  “Those are both good names.”

  “Yeah,” she said, her voice a whisper.

  “Does your heart still hurt when you think of him?” I asked, unable to help it.

  I heard her inhale in a quiet gasp, and she was silent for a long time before she responded. “Every day.”

  “My heart hurts when I think about Lee. Does that mean I love him like you love King?”

  Another gasp escaped her, this time for an entirely different reason, as she looked down at me, her expression stunned. “Oh, Karla, I had no idea. I mean, I knew you two were doing things, but I didn’t know it was like th
at.”

  “I don’t want it to be.”

  “Neither did I.”

  I let out a small, joyless laugh. “What a pair we make.”

  Her answering laugh was just as joyless, the sound echoing my sentiments and agreeing wholeheartedly.

  Two weeks passed. Two horrible, agonising weeks. Everything seemed to amplify my loneliness, like how the fabric of my uniform brushed coldly at my skin, no humanity in the touch, or how I’d lie in bed and get a phantom-like whisper of his scent. I knew it wasn’t real, because I’d washed and changed my sheets several times since we’d last shared a bed. It was branded into my memory, though, and every time I was at work and smelled a man’s cologne that reminded me of his, my gut twisted.

  I was on the night shift with Tony, driving around town in the patrol car, when my phone buzzed with a text. Tony’s attention was fixed on the road as I pulled it out, looking down to see Lee’s name on the screen. All at once, a brick dropped to the pit of my stomach. He was making contact, but it was after eleven. I just hoped this wasn’t some kind of booty call.

  Lee: Its Stu. Ned u @ our boozer. Lee in bad wey.

  My heart pounded as I read the misspelled text, questions swirling around in my head. Had he been in a fight? Had somebody beaten him like Liam had been beaten? Looking to Tony, I said, “Hey, I have a friend who’s in a spot of trouble. You wouldn’t mind taking a little detour with me, would you?”

  “No problem, it’s been a quiet night anyway.”

  A couple of minutes later, we were parked outside the pub. I gave my appearance a quick look in the mirror, taking my hat off and fixing my hair in the usual bun I wore to work.

  “You want me to come in with you?” Tony asked.

  “Nah, you take a break. Check in with the girls. I won’t be long.”

  He nodded and I got out, my heart thrumming as I stepped inside the noisy pub. The place was busy for a Wednesday, but then I remembered there was a football match on earlier. They’d probably been watching it on the flat-screen TV that hung in the far corner of the bar. A couple of men eyed me aggressively, wondering what a cop was doing in their local, but once I didn’t bother them, they returned to their conversations and ignored me.